#forestclan

And then there was Endless. Moons of constant crisis roadblocked Redstar's attempts to think about her in the moons leading up to now. The moon before leaf-fall was a blurr. Then there was the Gardener. Then she fell ill. Then she spearheaded training new procedures for addressing Deep Root entities and weather events. Now Endless' direct impact on their lives couldn't be ignored. The Clan already agreed that Endless' group had to be stopped, and should've been stopped moons ago. First was Blavignad's death, leaving three orphans. Then verbal altercations at the border. Then Stone tried to kill Riversnow. Now their hostilities led to Blackpaw's death. Redstar wanted to talk to them and find a solution, but attempts at diplomacy failed.

"They don't care what we have to say, Redstar," Barleywave meowed with uncharacteristic sharpness. "They still think we're Lakestar's Clan."

Days of arguing with her warriors, mediator and clerics. Redstar could feel their eyes on her. Frustrations. Fear. Resentment.

"They wanted to drug and kill two warriors, and kidnap an apprentice. Before that, one of them tried to kill Riversnow. Why are we letting them get away with cuffs on the ear?" Cloudthunder pressed.

"Violence won't tell us why they're doing this."

Olive's words were gentle, but cut through Redstar like an icy blade. "Redstar. You told me that the prophecy of a better Clan, is one that is gentle, and ringed in spears. I would prefer to use words. But if they resort to violence, this is where the spears are necessary."

Redstar's blue eyes met Olive's sage green ones. Olive held firm.

"The woods are not the only threat you face. Deep Root entities cannot be reasoned with. Endless' clowder refuse to be reasoned with." Her ear twitched. "We can extend diplomacy whenever we encounter them, but until they accept, they threaten ForestClan's safety."

With a heavy heart, she relented: mark the borders clearly. If Endless' clowder are found on ForestClan's territory, they are considered aware of the dangers of the woods under the Law of Informed Risk. Border Laws come into effect. Refusal to leave the territory will result in battle. Confrontations at the border's edge should be attempts at diplomacy first, and combat only as retaliation.

The Clan was amenable to this decision. They wouldn't allow themselves to become sitting ducks. Hurting their family and friends would not make them frightened and pliant. They were warriors. Endless' colony would learn what that meant.

Redstar wanted to plead for restraint.

You are a weapon. I made you into a weapon. Stop trying to be anything else.

...So she didn't.

Time blurred in the long nights of leafbare. Events that she thinks should have been devestating, she met numbly. After days of tension, some cats finally asked, where did she actually go every night? She said they were free to join her, but they had to stay in trees for their safety. She wasn't surprised when the Clan's youth took up the offer. Olive's two children, Riftgorse, Brackenfreckle, and all three of Cloudthunder's children were some of the first. Owlpaw wanted proof, so Morningspot, Daffodilpaw and Riversnow joined for a few evenings. Nectarpaw also joined, at Shadepaw's behest. Redstar tried to show them. She tossed rocks at the Woodcrawler den. Came within a foxlength of it. Yowled and goaded it, called it maggot-infested and cowardly. Stomped around it. Tossed fresh-kill at it. Batted snow at the entrance until it was almost totally covered. Moved to a different den site. Repeat. Barring shoving her head in the den, she had done everything she could to agitate the monsters. Initial doubt then turned into apprehension, then dismay.

There was bickering. Redstar didn't remember what it was about. All she remembered was some cat meowing, "Well, maybe it's because they're just...not hungry?"

"I will count the moons." Redstar sputtered. "I will count them. You won't have to worry. I don't want this over your heads."

Silence.

"It's going to be alright."

****

Redstar felt foggy. Something about a lack of daylight and sleeping poorly, Windfur said. That was mousedung. She slept during the day so she could be awake at night. She did it a few days a week every moon, it was never a problem before, so why now? She growled when she woke up to a dark blue sky, heralding the approaching dawn. She asked Iciclepool to wake her before going to bed, and clearly, she didn't.

...No, that was not on her deputy. Iciclepool was a queen now. She must've spent time with her kits and forgot. Redstar would not take that from her, especially with Hopechase in quarantine for greencough.

So, she dragged herself to her feet, and went on a solo patrol. It was too bright out for the woods to be tempted now. The least she could do is handle the dawn patrol.

Redstar's feet sank in the already-trodded paths made by her Clanmates in the snow. The cold forced her body to keep moving without thought. Her vision was a blurr of grey and black spines reaching towards the sky; shadows of leaf-stripped trees and narrow pines. There was no wind, and the only sound was the crunching of her own steps. Eventually, her nose picked up on the border scent. The usual stench of the Thunderpath had died entirely over the course of leafbare; she hadn't seen any Twolegs since late leaf-fall. That was fine. At least scent lines clearer now.

She traced the border. She scowled as she picked up on an unknown scent near an oak tree. Someone had crossed ForestClan's border to do this.

How dare you? she thought bitterly. She marked over the transgression, and kept following the Thunderpath. To her anger, she found more border transgressions made by the clowder, spread out along the line in an act of arrogance. It forced her to identify their group scent - dried hay and mud.

She didn't want to fight them. She didn't want to viciously defend their borders. It was pointless. What could anyone possibly need out of these woods?

Because they hate ForestClan. That's why.

Her lips curled. ForestClan was NOT a cult. Her Clan was not a gang of violent murderers who worshipped the woods and killed their own for fun. She ended that reign. If they would just talk to her, she could tell them. She could tell them the history of their Clan, of Lakestar's bloody terror, how they freed themselves of it - Brackenfreckle could tell them! She was one of them, knows ForestClan's changed; Endless received covert treatment from Shiverstep, they must know that -

Redstar stopped as she picked up a new scent. It was recent.

Adrenaline whipped through her, and she scanned her surroundings. She was far past the Thunderpath border by now - it ended some time ago and revealed trees and the nests of the Twoleg Greenleaf place. ForestClan hadn't marked this part of the border in a few days; Endless' clowder rarely ventured down this far, but clearly they were up to something. Redstar tasted the air. One. It was just one tom.

Redstar quickly tracked the scent into the forest. The intruder was meandering. There were points where the scent was strongest, perhaps resting or checking around them. Good. Maybe they weren't far.

If they're alone, then maybe...

Her pelt bristled. If they're alone, then maybe she could corner them. She's the leader of the thing Endless hated. If she fights them and wins, maybe she could release them under the condition she be brought to Endless, to talk. She could end this pointless feud today. She could come back to her Clan and single-handedly confirm that she did something to make their lives safer.

A flash of gold entered her line of sight.

Redstar panicked and scrambled off the path, her claws gripping onto the base of a nearby oak tree. Her tail thrashed and her pupils dilated; fighting the instinct to climb the tree. That was a cat. Oh StarClan, that was a cat. Please don't let them see her. She slowly peered out from behind the tree.

A longhaired golden tabby tom with a white underbelly and a blue collar stalked something. He faced away from her, and eyed the base of a nearby tree - perhaps he found prey? She scowled. Leafbare was hard enough on them. There was plenty of territory on Endless' side of the border, why in StarClan's name were they hunting here?

The tom paused before his haunches tensed, and he launched himself at the tree. Redstar saw a flash of grey and brown, and the tom dived headfirst into snow. After a few seconds, he popped up, a squirrel hanging limply in his jaws. There was a flicker in his eyes, his tail raised high.

Redstar suppressed a hiss.

ForestClan needs to talk to Endless' cats.

Her claws dug into the tree trunk at the thought of this tom being one of the ones responsible for Blackpaw's death.

You promised, she remembered Shadepaw's vitriol.

I did. I still do.

The tom's ear flicked, and he turned around and started padding back the way he came - right towards her.

You are a weapon. Stop pretending you aren't.

Her heart tightened. The tom's steps slowly came to a halt before the oak tree. He paused, and his pelt bristled.

Redstar launched herself onto the path and blocked his way, her claws unsheathed. The tom started backward, his pale blue eyes wide with shock. He dashed off-path to the left, but Redstar read the movement and leapt in his way, hissing. The tom tried again in the other direction, but the snow impeded him and Redstar swiped, this time yowling, "CEASE! Stay where you are!"

He hurriedly dropped the squirrel. He his pelt bristled and he hissed back, tail thrashing.

"What do you want?!"

An adrenaline-filled rage suddenly surged through Redstar. "You cross on ForestClan's territory, despite our markers and our warnings about the woods, and thwart all our attempts at diplomacy, and you dare ask what we want?!"

Blind anger. Fury. They wanted her warriors dead. They planned to kill her warriors. They killed Blackpaw.

"I didn't know this area was occupied - "

"Occupied? Oh, yes, by the things that killed my apprentice, thanks to your colony!"

"Our colony hasn't - "

"ENOUGH!" Redstar yowled and stepped forward. The cat hissed and swiped at her in warning, his ears folded back. Redstar bore her teeth. "You won't listen to my warriors, so you will now listen to me. Endless is warring a crusade against an imaginary cult she thinks we are, and you are killing innocent cats."

The tom froze, his expression unreadable. Redstar continued. "I just want to talk to her. I will force you to bring me to her if I must. I will end this mousebrained, pointless feud. Bring me to Endless, now."

The tom's tail stopped thrashing, and his light blue eyes faltered. Firmly, he asked, "Who's Endless?"

The question was earnest, and sliced Redstar to pieces.

Her open-mouthed hiss froze in place, and the scent of her surroundings intensified.

Snow. Freshly killed squirrel. The tom; his scent was strong and sour, like most toms. There was no hay or mud. No sign of Endless' colony scent.

Heavy emotions caved her spirit. Shame, guilt, mortification, fear, defeat - all at once like a cave tunnel collapsing on her. Redstar's pelt flattened and her ears folded back. She sat down, shoulders slumped and head hung low. The snow and the pre-dawn darkness absorbed the silence like a chasm.

Of course she would make that mistake. That's what she did. She would try, and try, and fail, and make things worse for her Clan because she's bullheaded and scary and a waste of a tortoiseshell pelt and everything her old, dead Clanmates said about her. StarClan was looking down at her now with revulsion and bitterness, because how dare she break the Law of Informed Risk and just assume this cat already knew the risks and dangers surrounding them? What kind of mousebrained leader doesn't investigate a scent more closely and just assumes all cats are now Endless', like some paranoid tyrant?

Her throat tightened. She put on the mask Redpath wore. "I'm sorry. I mistook you for someone else."

The golden tom blinked, his fur flattening. His ear twitched with apprehension.

"Please be careful. There are monsters in the woods. They mimic tree roots and branches. They take cats' bodies and steal their voices. I would advise you to leave as soon as possible." Redstar recited the words she was taught as an apprentice to say to strangers. She lifted her head and prepared to stand, but the tom sat down in the snow, his pale blue eyes veiled with an unreadable expression.

"...Are you okay?" he asked.

Redstar stared blankly. She wasn't sure how to respond to that.

The loner sighed. "Can you tell me who Endless is, at least?"

"...It's nothing that concerns you."

"Sorry, stranger, but I think it does." His face hardened, and his tail twitched. "You attacked me for it, for one. Secondly, I need to know how much of this area is owned by other cat colonies."

"This side of the Thunderpath is ForestClan territory. It ends after the rocky hillside, before the dip into the marshland." Redstar gestured with her tail far to the right side of the lake, where the marsh lay frozen. The tom inched back at the gesture, frowning. She didn't know why, but she continued. "...Endless' colony lives on the same side of the Twoleg Greenleaf Place. It's further up north of the Thunderpath. I don't know how much territory Endless' colony occupies," she finished.

The long-haired tom's whiskers twitched. "...Twoleg Greenleaf Place...you mean, the campsite?"

Odd. She never considered it being a camp for Twolegs. ForestClan had a camp. It was their home. Twolegs came and went as they pleased at the Greenleaf place. "...Whatever you call the structures made by the Twolegs, yes."

"I'll keep that in mind." He paused, then meowed, "Can you explain why you attacked me?"

"Does it really matter?" The tom tensed before she added, "I'm a crazy molly who tried to kill you."

"It does matter, actually. I have friends I want to protect. If you're going to attack them for wandering across a barely-marked boundary, then I want to know why."

"It was an accident. I'll...I'll tell my Clan about you, so they know to leave you alone."

"I appreciate that, but it sounds like you're not the only colony I should worry about. Who's Endless?"

Redstar stared at him. The shame that clawed at her spirit spat her out, and demanded consequences. She didn't want to involve an innocent cat in whatever cruelty her Clan was forced to deal with. This cat wasn't a member of ForestClan. Endless wouldn't attack him. He and whatever cats he lived with wouldn't need to fear...right?

The dark blue sky was now a paler shade. Dawn would break eventually...sometime in the hour, maybe.

"...It's a long story," she mewed.

The tom took his gaze out to the east, where the sun would rise. After a few moments of contemplation, he shrugged, looked back to her and replied, "I have time."

Redstar accepted the consequences.

She recounted what was necessary for him to know - how ForestClan lived in these woods for many seasons, how they came into conflict with Endless, Blackpaw's death, ForestClan's failed attempts at diplomacy, and their need to defend themselves. She had found signs of them crossing their border, and how his recent scent was taken as a trespass. It was as simple and sharp as she could make it. The golden tabby listened intently. His ears folded at the mention of the Red Beast, and the death of an apprentice. Otherwise, his pale blue eyes were calm. In many ways, it reminded her of Olive. Many thoughts - all kept to themselves. When she finished, the loner emitted a low purr in his voice. It was an anxious one - self-soothing.

"That's...a lot. I've heard about the monsters in the woods before. But this sounds...like a lot more than just tree mimics. I guess it's no surprise you attacked me - I'd probably be on edge too."

Redstar's ears flattened and she shook her head. "No. It's not right. I..." she swallowed. "I should be more than this."

"More than this?" The tom echoed with a tilted head, shifting uncomfortably. He awkwardly scratched the snow. "Uh...I dunno, that's a bit harsh? Rogues fight for territory all the time, it's not some grand offense."

"I am not a rogue. That's the difference. I'm a leader of a Clan. I'm..." Redstar trailed off. Why was she trying to explain herself to an outsider? She sighed and shook her head. He wouldn't understand. He didn't live in a Clan. Didn't understand how much it mattered to her, to her warriors.

"...Well, maybe you aren't a rogue, but you're still a cat, aren't you?"

Redstar gave him a quizzical look. His pale blue eyes met hers, and his question suddenly made her uncomfortable. She couldn't explain why it did. She didn't know how to answer him, at least not in a way that kept a sense of duty straight on her shoulders.

He seemed to have picked up on her discomfort. He blinked, then raised his tail and said casually, "Hey, I just realized that I don't know your name."

Her skin turned hot with embarrassment. "Oh. Right. Redstar."

There was a flicker of surprise on his face, and his whiskers twitched. "A red star? That's a very cool name, actually. Is it one you were given, or one you chose?"

Redstar felt her fur prickle. She didn't think her name was anything spectacular. "I...given. I wasn't always Redstar. My father just...named me Redkit."

"Red Kit? That doesn't sound like a very nice name."

"Clan names change throughout our lives," Redstar clarified. "Being called a kit is temporary. We become 'paws' as apprentices, and then we're gifted a warrior name when we come of age. I was Redpaw, then Redpath."

"Oh. Where'd the 'star' come from?"

"It's the title gifted to leaders by our warrior ancestors."

"Huh. Well, I think Redstar's a good name."

Redstar prompted, "What's yours?"

"Oh! Right." He offered a slow blink. "I'm Soleil."

"Soleil...I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't know what that is. Is it a Twoleg name?" Redstar asked.

"I think so. It's what an Upwalker called me many seasons ago. I liked it," he said with a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Redstar."

Redstar's ear twitched. She looked to the east, and saw the first rays of dawn erupting over the horizon. Soleil mimicked this gesture, and then gasped in surprised.

"Oh no. Uh, look, this...is going to sound bad, I understand if the answer is no. Can I keep the squirrel? It's not for me."

Redstar wasn't about to deny him after what she did today. "Yes, it's...it's fine."

"Thank you. I mean it." Soleil pawed the squirrel towards him. His tail twitched, then his eyes widened. "Ah...before I forget. My friends." He looked at her seriously. "We're...look, I don't know if I could say we're a colony, but it's close enough. Please, if possible, tell your, um, Clan, not to hurt them. I'll let them know to stay out of the woods. But if you do see them, could you escort them out instead?"

"What do they look like?"

"One's a white molly with grey paws, face and tail. Her name is Mochi. She's a longhair like me. The other is a solid brown shorthair, Mouse. She..." Soleil cringed. "Well, she's a bit of a ditz. She's the one I'm most worried about. I promise she doesn't mean harm, she's just oblivious. The last is Bear."

There was a pause. Redstar's ear twitched, waiting for a description. Soleil shrugged.

"He, uh. Looks like a bear."

Redstar let out a laugh despite herself. Soleil joined her.

"You'll know what I mean if you see him, I promise. He's relaxed; he'll be amenable."

"Very well. I...I apologize again for my actions."

Soleil's whiskers twitched in amusement. "Well, that's the first time I've received an apology for being on someone's territory, so I'd say you're forgiven. Let's have our colonies meet in better circumstances. My friends and I live in a large building by the campsite. We shouldn't be too much of a bother." He bent down to pick up the squirrel, and then said under muffled teeth, "Goodbye, Redstar!"

Redstar moved out of his way, and saw him off wordlessly with a wave of her tail. She stared as she watched him leave, the sun's rays striking his pelt through the shadows of the trees.

Our colonies.

Soleil spoke about his friends like he was charged with their protection. The squirrel wasn't for him. He was concerned about the groups living around him, and wanted to know so he could protect them. Like a leader. Did he even consider himself that?

Is this how the leaders of Ancient Clans would talk?

Instinctive self-hatred webbed around her like mold, making her feel foolish and childish and mousebrained all at once. Her claws unsheathed into the snow and ice. How dare she think of a golden age, where Clans would gather under full moon light? How dare she yearn for a past that she never knew, and will never come back? Why daydream like an apprentice when she was the leader of a Clan that lived in the Woods? Her Clan was dying to other cats, AND the woods.

But despite that, the hope was a light as bright sunshine, tearing through the dark, embracing her with a pale warmth. There was joy. She felt joy at the thought, and her guilt tried to smother it. Redstar sniffled, feeling like a kit.

I just want us to be a gentle Clan. It's all I want. Is that so bad? Is it so bad of me to want that?

She looked in the direction of the rising dawn, feeling its warmth piercing the cold of leafbare and warming her fur. She trembled as the cold from her paws rose to her legs. Through her self-hatred, a fragile hope whispered.

Maybe not now. Maybe not for you. But maybe someday.

She suppressed a sob, feeling pathetic. She accepted the thought, desperately trying to coax the young kit within her to return to its nest. "Okay. Okay," she mewed, shutting her eyes. "Maybe someday."

She swallowed and pressed her head against the trunk of a tree, inhaling sharply and bearing her teeth at nothing. Tears rolled down her face.

After a few minutes, the kit returned to its nest, and Redstar forced a deep exhale. She tore away from the tree trunk, her eyelids heavy. She felt like a stinging balm was applied to a wound, and only now did it start turning numb. She felt...slightly better. For now. Redstar put on the leader's mask. She needed to rush back to camp now, before a needless dawn patrol was sent out.

Redstar sprinted through the snow and the mud, weaving through the treeline under the light of dawn.

---

[NEW CAT MET!]

Soleil, loner, male, 69 moons. Thoughtful. Good speaker.

Windfur tells Shadepaw about his recent meeting to the Moon Dome, and how he saw Blackpaw, seemingly to offer comfort. Shadepaw keeps comparing himself to Windfur. Why couldn't Blackpaw visit him in his dreams? What did Windfur have that he didn't?

(Shadepaw, apprentice, male, 7 moons. Competitive.) (Windfur, cleric, male, 36 moons. Lonesome.)

Nectarpaw disagrees with how Olive approaches mediating clanmates. She's frustrated when Olive doesn't take her opinion seriously.

(Olive, mediator, female, 78 moons. Calm.) (Nectarpaw, mediator apprentice, female, 7 moons. Charismatic.)

Windfur is glad to have a friend like Morningspot. He appreciates their herb patrols together - neither of them talk much, but they value each others' presence.

(Windfur, cleric, male, 36 moons. Lonesome.) (Morningspot, warrior, female, 24 moons. Nervous.)

Cottonheart brings Perchwatcher some food, hoping that she remembered what her favorite was. She blushes when she sees her happy. Perchwatcher appreciates Cottonheart's friendship.

(Cottonheart, warrior, female, 12 moons. Bold.) (Perchwatcher, warrior, female, 17 moons. Responsible.)

Barleywave asks Owlpaw how she's doing. Daffodilpaw notices this from the other side of camp. She thinks Barleywave pays more attention to Owlpaw than she does to her.

(Barleywave, warrior, male, 51 moons. Playful.) (Owlpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons. Adventurous.) (Daffodilpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons. Careful.)

Tree lets Ghostkit play with their tail, being careful to face away and cover their face with moss. Brackenfreckle shoos Ghostkit out of the medicine den when she notices.

(Brackenfreckle, healer, female, 20 moons. Grumpy.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 53 moons. Ambitious.) (Ghostkit, kitten, male, 2 moons. Shy.)

In a moment of vulnerability while looking at the aurora in the sky, Cloudthunder opens up to Tree about her worries for the future. Tree feels the same - and yet promises to fight to protect the Clan - and her. Suddenly, all at once, words spill out and keep spilling out, and by the end of the evening, they've agreed to become mates.

(Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 55 moons. Loyal.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 53 moons. Ambitious.)

---

Cloudthunder lived for beautiful moments like these.

As the sun set on the horizon and the leafbare chill fell on the forest, the night sky lit up with stars, and the glow of the sunset was replaced with a different kind of light. Gentle, pale green waves beamed down towards the horizon, and rippled softly over the treetops. It was faint - but it was beautiful nevertheless; a rare sight that inspired awe in the entire camp. Iciclepool and Hopechase's kits squealed with excitement at the shifting ripples of color, and yearlings like Perchwatcher, Branchsnarl and Brackenfreckle stared up with awe like they were young apprentices. Even Redstar, who had been gloomy for most of the month, found herself sitting in camp and staring above with subtle wonder. Cloudthunder had seen the sky do this before, when she was an apprentice. It was one of the few memories she still held onto fondly from Lakestar's leadership.

And now, here she was, experiencing it again with three adult children, a thriving Clan, and the freedom of movement. She could have gone anywhere, but today she was in camp, and she was happy.

ForestClan admired the sky for a few hours, and told stories. It was StarClan gathering together to show their joy and parade through the night. Or the tails of foxes that were chased out of the territory by fire, the triumph of ancestors immortalized in the sky. Olive spoke of Twolegs admiring these lights too, holding up cubic and rectangular objects up to their faces, pointed towards the sky. Sometimes they placed them on three-legged stands and left them overnight. A bizarre ritual. A few cats pondered or laughed about it. Eventually, cats grew weary, and retired to their dens one by one.

Then, Cloudthunder was alone. She sat near the dying cinders of the fire, promising Clanmates to extinguish it and empty the ashes before retiring to bed. Instead, she kept the glowing cinders company, reluctant to go to bed.

She tried to push down her sudden influx of worries. No, not anxiety, or dread. She's felt those before and by StarClan, she was never going to feel that again. She had zero interest in feeling trapped and paranoid under an evil gaze again. No, instead, she thought of her Clan, and her children.

Before her mind could wander too far, her ear twitched at the sound of footsteps in the snow. She turned, and her heart skipped a beat as she saw Tree approaching her.

"Tree," she meowed.

"Cloudthunder," Tree greeted. Their voice rasped in the cold. Cloudthunder frowned with concern.

"You're still sick with yellowcough. You should be in bed."

"Shiverstep said I'm recovering. I should be better in another week or two," Tree replied. They sat down by the fire across from Cloudthunder, and stared up at the sky. A smile cracked across their tired face. "I wanted to admire the sky more. Couldn't sleep anyway."

Cloudthunder purred softly, also staring up at the sky. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"It really is something special," Tree admitted with a smile. "I think...I've only seen this once before, as a kit. I remember staring up at it for such a long time that my neck hurt afterwards."

Cloudthunder let out a mrrow of amusement. "Oh no, that must've hurt in the morning."

"It did. But it was very worth it, I think. It's not often you see these. We won't know when we'll see them again."

Cloudthunder nodded and added a mrrow of approval.

Tree paused, before letting out a cough and a sniffle. They groaned in annoyance.

"Would you like tea or anything? I could boil water," Cloudthunder offered.

"It's alright. Thank you, though. You spoil me," Tree replied with a sparkle in their eyes. Cloudthunder couldn't help but feel heat rise to her face, she sheepishly looked away and failed to stop a smile spreading across her face.

It was extremely unfortunate that Deerspring was right - she did like Tree a lot. And before being confronted with that, she had no trouble just having fun with a flirty back and forth with the cat. She never intended for it to be anything that deep - or at least that's what she kept telling herself - and now that she had to admit that she was a terrible liar, she wasn't sure what to say.

Should she even say anything, given the world they live in?

The worry that gnawed at her chest earlier returned. She stared at the aurora above, hoping that it would clear her thoughts. Instead, a cold breeze picked up, and she was reminded of the night she went into labour last leaf-bare.

She tried to pretend everything was going to be fine and that she didn't care if the Living Tendrils came. It was a fact of life, kits would die, and she'd be sad, yes, but she would get over it. It was an accident, after all.

That was a mistake.

And as moons went by and Redstar failed to die, and young cats like Blackpaw were snatched up by the woods, the fears for her own children increased. She bottled them up. Pretended everything was going to be fine and they could take steps to prevent death. But there were stranger outsiders that hated them and wanted them dead, wanted her children dead, and every day that passed she mentally prepared for the next Ritual of the Lost she would have to participate in, praying that it wasn't for her children.

"Cloudthunder?"

"Hm?" The molly glanced at Tree.

Concern veiled the cat's expression thinly. Tree tapped their tail once. "...You seem lost in thought. Anything on your mind?"

Well, yes, but I would rather not, Cloudthunder thought to herself. She looked back up at the sky. "Nothing in particular."

Tree's whiskers twitched and they sniffled once. "...Did you feel like sharing?"

Oh good, she was terrible at hiding mousedung. Cloudthunder sighed. "Am I really that obvious?"

Tree let out an amused huff, then twitched their tail and gestured dramatically, "Your eyes are as vibrant as sunshine, fair molly! To bask near them is a privilege."

Cloudthunder laughed. "Oh, quiet, you!" she hissed, swatting a pile of dusty snow in their direction. Tree shielded their face and smirked, returning the gesture. Cloudthunder sputtered as snow hit her face, shaking herself out.

"Hey! No fair, you have bigger paws," Cloudthunder protested as she got up and approached them with a mischievous look. Tree shielded their face with their paws and let out a laugh.

"Hey, no - " Tree coughed, " - no attacking the sick!"

"Oh, you're getting better, get over it," Cloudthunder smirked as she batted snow more directly towards them. Tree was pelted and let out a fake dramatic wail, rolling on their back.

"Ooof, oh no, I'm being attacked! How dare you attack the sick and elderly? Oh, the atrocity!" Tree's voice turned into a rasp, then a series of coughs. Cloudthunder's amusement stopped, and her tail drooped.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah - " Tree coughed, "yeah, I'm good, just - " More coughing. Tree sat back up and Cloudthunder took a few steps back, her ears folding.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trigger it," she mewed.

Tree finished their coughing streak by clearing their throat and sniffling. "Ah, stars - sorry. I swear I'm getting better. That just came out of nowhere."

"Maybe you should get some rest?"

Tree's emerald green eyes flickered, and they paused, lost in thought. Their tail swept the snow beneath them. Finally, they turned to look at Cloudthunder, and the molly fought against looking away.

"Only if you do."

Cloudthunder let out a chuckle. "Not sure if I can right now."

"Then tell me about it. Then we might both get some sleep."

Cloudthunder looked away. Tree slowly sat down beside her, angled away in case they started coughing again. After a few moments of silence, Tree prompted gently, "I have time. I'm here to listen."

Cloudthunder's heart tightened. She sat down, staring at the snow blankly as she organized her thoughts. Did she want to talk about this with Tree? Would they even understand her worries? Tree had spent more time as an outsider than a warrior of ForestClan. She assumed that they never had kits of their own. Would they be able to empathize with her at all? Was this too heavy to drop on a cat all of a sudden? Tree was still sick. They should be resting, not listening to her really bummer venting.

"...You don't have to, Tree. I'm just overthinking things," she said.

Tree's ear twitched. They tensed. "...I'm here to listen," they repeated.

"I know, and I appreciate it, but - " Cloudthunder cut her words short when she glanced up at them, and saw Tree glancing back at them. Their eyes carried an intensity she hadn't seen before - fear, she dared to wonder? - and Cloudthunder couldn't bring herself to walk away from them. She blinked once, then sighed deeply. She looked towards the sky again, relying on the soothing ripples of light to keep her emotions steady.

"...I worry for the future. For my kits," she began. "I know it's pointless to worry. If the woods come, there's very little that I can do to stop them. I should enjoy the time I have with them now, as much as I can. I could never abandon ForestClan - it's my home. The land is so beautiful. The view of the mountain, the lake, the field and forest - you can't get that anywhere else. It's our home, not the home of Woodcrawlers. But..." Cloudthunder's copper eyes flickered. She tucked her tail around her paws. "...Sometimes, I get scared. I just want to...put my kits on the back of some Twoleg monster, and let the monster drive far away to who-knows-where. I'd never see them again. But they'd be alive. And...and I wouldn't have to hold a Ritual of the Lost for them someday, like I did with Bearkit and Magnoliakit." Cloudthunder scoffed as she felt her voice cracking. Shame rippled through her pelt. She laughed at herself. Oh, this was stupid. This was a mistake. Validating that fear out loud was a terrible plan. Great StarClan, she was turning into Iciclepool. "It's...it's a ridiculous thought, I know. But...I don't want to lose them."

There was a tense silence that followed. Cloudthunder refused to say or think anything else. She was terrified of looking like her mother when she was a kit, sitting at the walls of camp and sobbing into the night, begging for her own mama to return from the ether. She refused to look that vulnerable to anyone.

"...I understand."

Cloudthunder side-eyed them. Tree scowled.

"No, really. I do. And I don't think that's wrong to think that."

Cloudthunder chuckled dryly. "Ah, yes. I'm sure Redstar and Iciclepool will take thoughts of leaving the territory well."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

She tensed. "It just is, Tree. ForestClan has tried it before. Search parties never returned alive."

Pause.

"Did you find evidence of their death?"

She said nothing.

Tree looked away, then sniffled. Their voice rasped. "Look. I get it. It's hard. And...I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my own doubts about staying in ForestClan at first. Learning about the Living Tendrils, and your history of apprentice trials - I was concerned. For the first moon, I thought you might be cats trapping yourselves voluntarily here. But then I learned about your culture. Your history with other Clans that used to exist. Your - " Tree suppressed a cough, " - hgn, sorry. Just...long story short, you fought for your right to be here. And you've built incredible things - methods I've only seen out of Twolegs before - in that determination to stay. Even so," Tree's eyes flickered, "that doesn't mean we don't hope for a better future, one far away from here without fear."

Cloudthunder met their gaze evenly. "It's not just for my kits. It's for...for every kit. Daffodilpaw and Owlpaw. Shadepaw and Nectarpaw. Cats I care for," Cloudthunder meowed. "I just..." She looked away. "...I've buried enough mementos and empty graves. I've seen too many cats and apprentices die. I thought I was numb to it after Lakestar's leadership, but after Blackpaw..."

"...Do you want to leave?"

"No," Cloudthunder said immediately. "I...I couldn't. This is our home. I just...I wish I could...I don't know, grab the hypothetical 'safe place' from wherever it is, and drag it over here instead. Even if it has to be kicking and screaming, I want to make it free of whatever mockeries are out there."

"...Then, I'll fight it make it a place like that."

The resolution of that sentence surprised her. Cloudthunder met Tree's gaze, and found herself unable to tear away from the determination in their eyes.

"That's how we'll make it a better place. And we can do it. For as long as I still live, I will fight. I'll tear off Woodcrawler legs. I'll tear the limbs off Tendrils. I'll burn whatever Nature's Mockery and den entrance I find."

"Don't." Cloudthunder bristled, a surge of panic rushing through her. "Please don't."

"Why not?" Tree pressed.

The white and grey molly sputtered. "You'll get hurt. It's dangerous. I don't..."

She trailed off. Tree didn't prompt her for an answer, but as Cloudthunder stared into Tree's eyes, and she felt resounding terror at the idea of a patrol coming back and telling them that Tree had saved their lives, that they were brave, and courageous, and gone -

"I don't want to lose you too."

Speaking it made it reality. Heart thundering. Every joke, every time she made them laugh, every time they shared a meal and told a story, every time they explored the territory beyond its normal bounds, just for fun, just because they could. She would lose this. Lose them. And she couldn't do it. She loved them. She loved their friendship, their jabs and jokes, their passing flirts and the smiles they gave. She loved their intensity in the face of protecting those they loved, she...oh stars, she did love them, and every attempt to shove it down in a hole and pretend it didn't exist failed.

Tree kept their determined gaze, and then, a flicker of affection danced across their face. "You won't lose me."

Cloudthunder's ears folded back. "You can't promise that," she retorted.

"No, silly, not like that. I'm not immortal," Tree chuckled. Then, they slowly brushed their tail across Cloudthunder's back. "You won't lose me, because I'll do all those things with you, and with the Clan. We'll make it better for everyone together. You won't lose me, because I have you to come back alive for."

Her heart stopped and her face turned hot. Her fur bristled as she suddenly felt the urge to zoom out of camp and scream like a flock of common sparrows at dawn. Oh stars, what was she, eight moons old? She stuttered and looked away, embarrassed and too overtaken with feeling all at once. Tree made a raspy mrrow.

"Sorry. Too much?"

"No," Cloudthunder sputtered. She entwined her tail with theirs suddenly, afraid they'd pull back. "No. It's okay. I..." Despite the worries that still plagued her, a smile spread across her face. "...I just didn't think I meant that much to you."

"Now, hold on a second," Tree's throat rasped, but Cloudthunder knew it would be a loud protest if they could've managed it. "What do you think we've been doing for the past few moons? I thought my feelings were obvious."

"W-Wait, you weren't playing around?" Cloudthunder asked sheepishly, head bowed. Tree initially looked hurt, until they saw the wide-eyed pleading look in the molly's eyes, and they burst out laughing. Then devolved into a series of coughs that they turned away to sort out.

"Oh stars, sorry," Tree finally managed after clearing their throat. "I'm so sorry, that was adorable. Yes, of course I was serious, Cloud. Does ForestClan not understand how courting works at all?"

"Y-Yes, we understand courting! I just didn't know that's what we were doing," Cloudthunder admitted, looking away with embarrassment.

"Why?" There was a pause for a moment, until Tree's fur bristled and they looked away nervously. "...I, ah, I guess I'm not the best choice of a partner."

Cloudthunder's eyes widened to the size of plates. Her brain sputtered, "What?"

Tree hid their self-deprecation under the veneer of humor. "Well, I mean...if it wasn't obvious already, I can't sire anything. And if that was something that mattered to you, well, that's unfortunate."

Cloudthunder scowled. "Tree, do you think that matters to me at all?"

"...Does it?"

"No, mousebrain!" Cloudthunder shoved them playfully. "If hearing me talk for the past ten minutes wasn't clear enough, I'm already worrying about one litter. I don't want more. You're perfect. Please don't ever doubt that."

"You do understand that if I wasn't sick right now, I'd be pressing my head all over you, right?" Tree said with a smirk.

"Do you want me to bat you with snow again?"

"No thank you," Tree purred. "...But, I do mean it, Cloud. I keep you in my heart, like you keep your family and friends in yours. I dunno how ForestClan does it, for non-Clan cats it just kinda...happens," Tree shrugged, then meowed, "do I have to, uh, ask if you'd like to be my mate? Seems weirdly formal, but I mean..."

And for a brief moment, Cloudthunder's worries melted away. Whatever worry she had about the future, about others, about her kits - maybe, just maybe, things would be okay. Tree was by her side. Tree would fight to stay by her side. They promised to. And maybe tonight, until the light of rippling green waves in the sky, that was all they needed. Right now, things were okay. Right now, things were good. Right now, she was happy.

Cloudthunder squeezed her tail around Tree's tightly, then looked into their eyes, the green light from above bouncing off of their gaze gently. They were beautiful. She hoped they knew that they were beautiful, and she loved them.

"Of course I'll be your mate, Tree," she meowed softly. "I love you. I want you to know that above all else."

Tree's eyes narrowed with joy, their entire body purring. "I love you too, Cloud."

---