Btw I need jon to have the most complicated feelings about Jonahs death you ever did see. I need him to hope he never sees him again and feel the hole where he's supposed to be and why isn't he HERE why is he just gone, how can he just be gone? He was ready to live with taking everyone down to save everyone else but he wasn't ready to just. Live a normal life. With a hole. A hole that's forever festering and growing and he cannot stop it. He doesn't even know if he misses him but he's supposed to be here. There's so much anger and longing and confusion and so so much and it has nowhere to go and it's going to burst out and he's terrified of when it will happen. Hello can anyone hear me. Basically I need somewhere else jonelias and I need it to be SO fucked up
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Author's note:
The bunnydoll p.o.v. for the events that followed Mirage. For the sake of closure to the oasis!bunnydoll fans. Short and sweet
Warnings: (?)Angst/comfort & (?hurt/comfort)
It's not that bad... fairly safe read. Just keep in mind: it's not what it looks like - I promise. It's safe!
The Ragdoll's regret
There was light.
Bright, piercing white beaming that felt overwhelming; like one’s head would split open and collapse in on itself. It drowned out the inky black she was surrounded with before, as the confines and restriction of the bounds that kept arms and limbs suspended, suddenly felt weightless.
She was falling.
The sensation of it left Ragatha into a rush of a cold shiver, that had her tense up. From relief to dread in a matter of seconds, the doll felt her body brace for the impact of landing on the hard, lifeless floor.
The light was suddenly clouded with red.
The memories came flooding back. The ribbons that came pooling in from the crack in her door. One scarlet paper flower left on her bed, drawing her in, leading her in a trance. Then sudden bounds that grabbed at her wrists and her vision oozing into an ebony pit of nothingness, where she was held captive in her own mind by Gangle who masked and possessed her.
It was all a blur from then on out; a blur caused by the sting of tears in the Ragdoll’s eyes as she tugged and resisted, adorned by the mask that melded itself to her face as she was blinded within her own mind.
There was pleading and there was pain.
Ragatha knew pain.
But her pleading fell upon deaf ears and that hurt her more than any blow ever could. She was failing. She was being forgotten. Her role was being smeared and tainted beyond recognition. She almost caved again – how she despised herself for that.
She almost caved again – her forgotten crimes erupted from the flames of the burning bridge behind her that crumble away and severed the way to the person she once was. It called out her name; the name she thought that she could bury in the dust. It always came back to taunt her, beckoning her back to the burning depths of her past self.
But she made a promise.
The red slowly bled clear from her vision as the doll managed to blink the image into focus.
Jax.
He was draped over her, glowing in a ringed red hue. She didn’t know what happened, or why everyone was surrounding them. There was pain from all over her body, battered and bruised until the next glitch would repair her agony into nothing but ghosts that dwell her dreams at night.
The rabbit’s pupils were blown wide, and his chest was heaving as he seemed to lock in on her. If she had the strength to move, she’d attempt to cradle his cheek, pausing to give him chance to back away if he wanted to, but nothing of the sort happened. The doll was limp and happy to spend her energy breathing by her tuition again. That, and to figure out who exactly was pounced onto her.
The snake, the rabbit or the man?
How she missed the man…
Would he ever, truly be the man he was before? The part of him that was taken all those years ago – did that rob him from ever fully being again?
Guilt pitted into Ragatha’s stomach.
She was to blame if that was the case; she would, by no means, deny it.
The monster dwelling beneath her skin.
The sin she subjected herself to.
The promise she made when it was all too late.
No, she deserved this pain. She deserved this broken and shattered body. She owed him everything, because it didn’t matter how many times he would assure her, she would always believe that it was a ruse – that it was due to her monstrous deeds rather than his explicit consent. She took too much from him.
And now he was a husk of the man he used to be.
But there was no time to dwell on those thoughts.
Jax’s jagged movements made it clear to the doll that the rabbit was fronting. He roughly shoved her to her stomach and mounted her, letting his teeth sink into the fabric of the back of her neck and flushly pressing his chest into her back before taking off. He sprinted over the expanse of checker tiles, only to turn into the hall where their respective rooms resided.
The world simply flew by the ragdoll; faster than she could comprehend – as Jax bolted to his room with the poor doll in tow – dragging her by the scruff she didn’t have. The searing pain made the corners of her vision blur into red, but she welcomed it.
She deserved it.
Getting into the rabbit’s room was a mission on its own, as his dumb claws struggled to grip the handle well enough for him to twist it, but he reigned his reeling mind in enough to manage; unceremoniously stumbling into his room with his dolly in tow (or in teeth).
Ragatha didn’t fight or protest as he dragged her limp body over onto the bed after kicking the door to slam shut and lock. He used his larger form to pin her chest to his mattress, using his toothy hold on the back of her neck to keep her head down. Both his hands were free to pin her wrists to the mattress, and he successfully mounted her again with a low rumble from the depths of his chest. Ragatha took a second to breathe, letting Jax have his inner rabbit satisfy its need for control and her complete submission.
She knew it would pass.
She knew it would go no further than that.
It was the rabbit that demanded control and safety.
It was the snake that desired chaos and disruption.
But how she longed to feel the man again…
“Jax?” she quietly called out to him – the voice muffled as her face was held down into the sheets.
“Doll…” came the gruff voice, warmly fanning his hot, ragged breath onto the back of her neck, “Make me forget.”
His words left a hollow pit in the ragdoll’s stomach as she let the words wash over her.
“Please… Please, dolly, please. Please…” she heard him beg, his voice cracking in a vulnerable display, unlatching he’s teeth from the fabric at the back of her neck only to tentatively nuzzle into it. His strong, tense body, dissolved into fits of trembling as the rabbit finally gave way to the man.
Speak of the devil…
“I can’t…” Ragatha whispered now, not wanting to let the tender moment die out too soon, despite the haunting voices of her past self, clawing at the back of her mind for her to cave again, “I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t. I just can’t… You know I can’t.”
Nothing more was said.
Nothing more was done.
It took several minutes, but he got off her; sitting at the edge of his bed – his elbows resting on his knees as he hung his head in reflection and meditation. It didn’t take long for his dolly to shift and sit by his side in silence.
Ohh I get it now...Wallace wants Scott but not forever just to fuck and cuddle but he loves him as a friend forever and Scott is unaware hes bi and pretends that Wallace isnt actually his best friend so its causing this unnecessary tension.
If they were already fucking, them not being together wouldnt be a problem. For most people at least. Cause theyd still be in love just not like that.
I understand....I do think they should have sex just once. For the people.
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