#fnb

As I hold Adder against my body, my eyes wander over their sleeping form. They might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I don’t entirely know what it is about them. Like okay, her hands are really smooth (because she’s never had to do manual labour a day in her life) and her hair is super soft (expensive ass hair products are to thank for that) and her face is just. Wow. Clear skin for days, good bone structure, beautiful eyes, it truly is unreal (because a lot of it isn’t real. How much of her is cyber implants?).

I start to sigh from my own thoughts, but quickly bite my lip. I relax seeing Adder’s still sound asleep. I didn’t even notice I tensed up at first, but I guess it’s such a knee-jerk reaction to literally everything that I don’t see it as something to take note of anymore. The others have probably noticed, it would be naive of me to think they didn’t. My unwillingness to share personal information, my modesty with clothing and what I know seems like an obsession with money, but really I just need to survive. Unsurprisingly my mind turns to Adder again. Even if he wasn’t pressed against me and I wasn’t listening to his breathing in case it changes, I’d still be thinking about him. I can imagine his snarky response to that, but only partially since he’d say something more creative than I could think up. I do wonder about them, and the life they led before… all this. Luxurious, as they’ve said, like everyday since meeting them. But, it’s boring. Was boring. Funnily enough, I get it. Having everything you’ve ever wanted handed to you without having to do anything but you can’t go anywhere. The unwanted duty you have to your family, a pre determined outcome for your life, wanting to escape. From what Adder said, sure, Night city is great and they like it, but leaving doesn’t seem like an actual option for them. I know they said that they’d… they’d leave with me after this is all over. Travel with me. The offer made me happy, I hesitate to say ecstatic because even in the moment I knew that was the alcohol talking. I don’t think she’d seriously say that to me sober, it’s wishful thinking really. Not even just from her, from anyone that doesn’t travel the way mercs do. Rhea was the last person who offered to follow me, and that clearly didn’t work out. Looking back on that relationship I can already see road bumps coming up in the relationship I have with Adder. Whatever relationship it is right now. The date was amazing, to say the least, and made me believe we’re more exclusive but I shouldn’t get my hopes up. Communication is one of the most important things in relationships along with trust and I’m not exactly great at either of those, and from the way Adder acts I wouldn’t be surprised if the same applied for them (likely for different reasons). But those are topics I can avoid, I’d rather not fight in the limited time we have together. Goes for everyone else as well but they’re not as invasive and don’t have a megacorp backing them if they wanted to look into me.

Why do I like this guy again? Oh right because they’re hot.

I think that, but I know it’s untrue. I like Adder because he is how I believe more people should be. Selfish. Sure he can take it to the extremes, but there’s an understanding that putting yourself first is important. It’s refreshing to be with someone who understands that. It’s not just that though, he’s funny, smart (when he chooses to be) and just has this sort of charisma to him that’s irresistible. You want to see what he does next. But tonight it felt like they were a little vulnerable and I would be lying if that didn’t endear me to them more. I wouldn’t tell them this. A lot of this. Not unprompted, not without reason. I can think of quite a few times in the past declaring my love for random traits of others but with Adder it’s not the same. I get this feeling that saying something like “I prefer your personality over your looks” isn’t going to be taken as the compliment I mean it as. Perhaps it will since I’m sure she’s told how hot she is all the time. But Adder is someone who takes pride in their appearance (not that they shouldn’t of course), though, from how they talk about themself… I don’t know. I’m not the best at reading people but I know there’s a line between vanity and thinking being wanted is your only asset. To me, Adder is doing a tightrope walk on that line almost as well as I do the same on the line between precaution and paranoia. 

Okay so, I am still kind of convinced we're actually all in a drug-coma on some blackwall-fiend cyberbullfuck. But basically, if everything is going properly. And by properly, oh, by properly I mean the gods themselves need us to solve their issues because they're so incompetent. Anyways. Lexi: The most fun person of the party and that's saying something. Thank god. Thank me. She does drugs, she drinks, she steals from people, she isn't scared of beating people up. Yk, I am really down for a bitch that doesn't bitch. She's not stupid or anything, but she's there for money and a good time and choom if that's not what I want to hear. She clearly has issues though, but so does everyone right. I also love her. A lot. A weird amount for me. I can remember her face, and thinking about her makes me feel things. Not new things, but I don't expect myself to hold onto someone in that way. She's earned it. She deserves it I think. Maybe when I think of the roof of Arasaka tower I'll think about something nice for a change. That or we'll just be another bad memory. Fang: P-A-T-H-E-T-I-T-S holyyy he's so lame. Unfortunately, alas, fuck me, he is kind of hot. I wont call it community service or anything, but like. Eugh. But also. He's disgustingly obedient and I kind of hate him for it, my job anyways, and he sucks at fighting so bad it hurts. He also has huge attachment issues like, crying screaming throwing up begging me to stay with him after one hookup and a couple of days of kissing like girl?? That part I can't get over cause like why the fuck am I responsible for your life now because I dared to get near you. I mean if I hadn't gotten near him on the subway maybe I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. If it wasn't obvious I like him btw. Seimei: Big giga nerd and kind of an endearing loser in a cute way. Not cute like lib-bitey, cute like a cute thing. Puppies and stuff or something. He likes cameras and photography and saying concerning things about freedom of information that no one else hears because we're all so pre-occupied with not being able to breathe that we don't notice this tiny robo-pigeon wants to dissolve the blackwall. He's nice though. I care about him. Koro: I could step on Koro and I wouldn't realize why I tripped until I looked down. Little robot kobold that plays with a robot spider double his size. He looks like he licks outlets, but he's useful. Big appetite too, slammed a stack of pancakes at Ihop. It was in the low 20s. Again, 3ft tall. Is it weird that I find that kind of??? Otherwise, he's cool. I think he plays games when I talk sometimes and that pisses me off like get the fuck off- who is Garry? Stop playing with him our lives are on the line. Rosalie: Stunning vampire lady, with the accent of a British orphan from a stage play. She was nice though, and she did her job as a healer. Cool overall, but she just didn't speak a lot. I think she was married to someone who was with them before. Alice: My "little sister" who's totally not an escapee robot from sakacorp labs that was engineered to be a little girl who can also lift a shipping crate for no reason. Yeah she's a little kid and its weird, why is she so strong. They could have built some big guy but nope they payed extra to compress all that tech into a girl who probably doesn't know what a hexagon is. I feel weirdly responsible for her. She is kind of technically my sister. I care about her. And that's weird. Really weird? I don't even know her, and it's not like I care about her just because she doesn't know anything. She doesn't deserve what's happening. Neither did I but at least I can handle it. Her though. She can take a beating better than me so I guess it's okay for now? Good thing the devil from the bible or whatever owes us and now I have Joseph.

I just stumbled upon this interview with John Ware of FNB fame.

Here are some rare FNB pics: