#fluff aus

idol!reader x idol!hoseok

au where the reader is an idol who secretly has a crush to hoseok and is a huge fan of bangtan and during voting seasons,,,she/he usually gets scold since she/he usually wakes up late from too much voting then when bts won artist of the year and she/he cried hard to the point his/her members are making fun of him/her

warweapon!reader x general!hoseok

I’ve actually been on a 3 person poly kick lately bc of one of my ocs so thank you

“Okay you know what? I’m the smallest I get to be in the middle of the bed”

yeah but you’re a blanket hog and so are they I get middle so I don’t FREEZE TO DEATH

two badasses protecting one squishy (bonus if the squishy is a tol)

one badass protecting two squishies (and then getting smothered in affection)

SINCE NONE OF US CAN DECIDE ON DINNER IM JUST GONNA ROLL A DIE FOR IT

we have a wheel spinner thing to decide where to go for dinner bc it’s a NIGHTMARE

sweetie I know you love to cook but I’d rather keep the apartment together thank you no no we don’t need the fire department YET put the phone down

two ChildrenTM with one poor Struggling AdultTM (aka glorified babysitter who always gets dragged into things bc they’re a stick in the mud)

“X NO” “X YES” “X ABSOLUTELY NOT” “...okay z”

2 people being together first and the awkwardness/possible angst of bringing the 3rd into a fully fledged relationship

trying to figure out rooming arrangements/where to hang out for the above

“Hey um, Y? I think X is cheating on you” “What????” “Yeah I saw them kissing Z-” “OMFG WAIT NO ITS OK”

i tried to do a few CEO aus but i also put some general office workplace aus in there as well :^)

we’re rival CEO’s and jeez is it hard to ram your business into the ground when you’re so attractive

how on earth did they get promoted to CEO and not me??? they haven’t even shown up to work this morning!!!

turns out the company’s going under so they put you as the CEO to put all the blame on you, ah shit i gotta help them haven’t i

you’re always at the photocopier when i am and we haven’t done anything except nod at each other in passing but my brain is determined that something else is happening

“i hate my job.”“but you’re the CEO of one of the must successful businesses in the world, how could you hate your job?”“exactly. that’s the reason! no one sees me as anything other than this successful CEO, sometimes i think i’d be happier working in a coffee shop.”

“secretary?”“well i could call you ‘glorified personal assistant’ if you’d like?”“okay fine. secretary it is then.”

you’re the CEO yet you act like a child, honestly i don’t get paid enough for this

“…you bought a bean bag… for your office”“i thought it made me look more approachable”“it makes you look like an idiot.”“close enough.”

it’s hard trying to keep your relationship a secret, especially when your significant other is the CEO at your company

“what are you two doing in the supply closet?!” (Person C)“i needed some…advice on office supplies..yeah, see i don’t know if i want to use a stapler. but how durable are paperclips when it comes to keeping stacks of very important papers together— okay they’re gone.” (Person A)“you know, this could go two ways. they could either be so freaked out they tell everyone in the office or they could be so traumatised that they don’t say anything and let it haunt them for the rest of their days.” (Person B)“i’m hoping for the later option.” (Person A)

so, let me get this straight: you’re telling me that my superior, the CEO might i add, the one who constantly sets me ridiculously huge projects with the shortest deadlines in history, the one who enjoys ridiculing me in front of my coworkers, the person who has trapped me in this terrible job for years and refuses to give me a promotion despite all my hard-work…is in love with me?!?

my new job is so weird, i barely do any work at all! my boss constantly insists that i sit back and relax, and then when i do do ‘work’ it normally just includes me running errands with them. it’s really strange, one time they even bought me lunch! man, i wonder if they treat all their employees like this?

“honey…they’re obviously in love with you.”“what makes you think tha—ah shit.”

“we’re both overly competitive to get the top job, i’ll admit, constantly trying to sabotage each other’s work and ruin each other’s reputation. i hate them!”“are you sure it’s not something else?”

“no offence, but i liked our last boss a lot more than you”“don’t worry, i do too.”

“yeah, hi, i randomly got promoted to CEO and i have no idea what i’m doing. i need some help but i don’t want anyone to know that i suck at my job??”

“you’re lucky i like you, otherwise you’d be screwed.”

okay, i’ve had enough of their bull. they treat their employees like shit, we barely get enough money to get by, they set us ridiculous deadlines while they sit on their ass all day! im gonna charge into their office and give them a piece of my mind!!

“yes, what is it?”“i - uh - we wanted to - um … say thanks! for being such a great boss, of course and uh - yeah! that’s all i had to say. bye!”

“so, did you give them a piece of your mind?”“what? oh.. yeah! i did! totally!”“…you got distracted again didn’t you.”“yeah. listen, i’d totally give them a piece of my mind if i didn’t find them attractive.”

“they’re totally dating their secretary.”“you think so?”“obviously they are! i mean, just look at them together! it’s fucking adorable!”

“do you even need a secretary”“i need the company and you’re about the only person in this building you can stand me”

“where’d you hear that from”“…”“i’M KIDDING”

hope these helped!!

- jess 

Because who doesn’t need some goofy aus once in a while? ((also staying true to the blog name lololol BD))

ot+: i swEAR TO FUCKING GOD I KNOW WE’RE POLY BUT IF YOU PLAY “we’re all in this together” ONE MORE TIME WHEN WE’RE DOING SOMETHING ILL KILL YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP

fantasy: a witch literally turned me into a turtle and then set me on my back. FOR GODS SAKE STOP LAUGHING AND HELP ME AT LEAST FLIP ME OVER

dude I swear to god, play “the boys are back” one more time whenever you pick me up from the airport, I’m gonna make you eat your own- “KEEP IT PG PLEASE”

“I’m cold” “well damn x, I can’t control the weather”

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD TO GET A NEW PHONE “I’m sorry I got mad and threw it” SO YOU HAVENT BEEN IGNORING ME??? YOU COULDVE T O L D ME MORON

“get off the internet, it’s 4AM, go to bed” make me, i’m not tired “fine” hello? hell-OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY DROVE HERE WAIT NO STOP DONT UNPLUG IT

I WAS ON A 30,000 WORD CRACKFIC ASSHOLE NOW WHAT

“get wrecked noob” YOU F O O L IVE BEEN PLAYING THIS MMO FOR TWELVE YEARS

you’re the vet lecturing me about giving my pet too many treats and now it has diabetes but I CANT SAY NO TO THAT FACE LOOK AT THEM

Hello again! How about some more poly prompts, huh? :D

I’ve never seen you before but we all live in the same apartment building apparently because we were the only ones who woke up when the fire alarm went off at 1 in the morning in a blizzard

fantasy: poly groups struggling because all of them are different monsters/creatures/beings and having wildly varying diets or habitats

soulmate: you can hear your soulmate’s extremely loud thoughts until you’re together and a poor poly person (whether they know or not) has days where it’s just so loud

secret agent/spy: wait, if YOU’RE a double agent, and I’M a double agent, and THEY’RE a double agent, who are we looking for???

plot twist: they’re all set up against each other to take the others out

we’re all squishies and none of us are bad-ass crap we just got into a baaaad situation

bonus if a badass intervened and becomes the next person in the group

we’re all pretty badass but we all accidentally watched a sad movie on our movie night and we’re all bawling

having to make a Schedule to figure out date nights/hanging out time around everyone’s work schedules

everyone getting home around the same time and fighting over who parks where in the driveway

fantasy: no one has to fight over who ends up with who in the adventuring party. we’re all together. I mean come on, we’ve all practically died on each other before

but that just makes doing reckless things 10000x harder and the consequences from others 327402397423907x more severe

we’re all exchange students at the same place, lets combine notes to figure out slang

we were all on a cruise ship/plane and it crashed and we’re all stranded together

annnnd that’s enough for now too! I hope these inspire some of you guys! :D

Yes!!!! these are my LIFE honestly

you just called me out of the blue to pick you up at the airport????? I mean I’m here but you fuck you just said it and hung up

you tapped me from behind and I screamed and now everyone’s looking at us oops

I didn’t recognize you at first until you smiled at me/said my name and then I tackled you

you didn’t recognize ME until after I tackled you as a sobbing mess

we’re both sobbing messes

whAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GREW A BEARD GROSS SHAVE IT OFF “that’s the first thing you say to me?” IT HAS TO GO

your hair????? is gone????? is it even you????

YOU GREW A BEARD ITS SO NICE “no hello first?” SO NICE

i honestly see this one with someone who left before or just starting t hormones and i think it’s just really cute??? ignore me

*cliche puberty hit like a train to one or both*

YOU ARE MISSING AN ARM “okay, shocking I know but nice to see you too-” AN. A R M.

we ended on a really bad note when you/I left but now we see each other and I’m/we’re both instantly sobbing messes and apologize

we ended on a really bad note when you/I left and you’re a sobbing mess and apologize but I’m still pissed

we literally spend all day catching up and now you’re late to your date O O P S

Yes!!!!

If I trade you fish, you give me trinkets and/or weird treats from land and we meet up every other tuesday

there’s this one sunbathing rock I love but it’s also your favourite perch?? no it’s mine get off

you help comb through my hair with your talons (and fingers depending on the harpy??) and I help you pick leaves and branches out of your feathers

you always chase off fisher’s boats from my area and I never noticed until now

You bring me pretty rocks and beads and I turn them into bracelets/necklaces for us