you're a spark in the dark;
summary: in which you have a (not so much) secret crush on the law consultant for the publishing house you work for without even realizing that it could be mutual.
pairing: lawyer!zuko x editor!reader.
word count: 13,4k.
tags: workplace au, mutual pining, no use of y/n, drunken confessions, reader is an overthinker, jealous!reader. title from olivia rodrigo's stupid song, enjoy!
He always had that sort of vacant stare when his attention was stolen by the egregiousness of his thoughts. It was not something that he felt like he could control, it just took him by surprise at any point in the day and only a moment after his expression would contort on itself with some kind of surprise or disgust, it was emptied, leaving behind only a mask impossible to read, as if the surface was never even disturbed to start with. In that moment, he would choose to indulge in whatever he was thinking about and the world around him would seem to vanish. It stayed like that for a while, as if there was nothing else worthy of his eyes, locked in a point blank, vulnerable to the others around to witness. Some days, he would look at you. It was brief, just like that initial expression, and you would recoil with shame, of course, because long before he reciprocated, your gaze was already turned to him. He never said a thing and then, with a slight blush, his eyes found another point in the room to direct his focus. You were not a stalker, were you? If not a stalker, then why were you looking? How could you notice such a thing? How could you not?
âYouâre doing that again.â The sudden interruption in your self reasoning makes your blood freeze. Your breath caught on your throat, as if you suddenly took consciousness of the process of breathing and couldnât keep doing it anymore. Your eyes turn away from the guy in the other table when you start to cough nervously, capturing the face of your friends watching you with interest.
âIâm not doing anything.â It takes a little while, but you are finally able to muster a defense. It only makes her laugh.
âNo? Was she not looking at the guy with the scar again?â She cannot see. She cannot see, but she was always very observant and could make educated guesses that were almost never wrong. It's not wrong now, for sure.
âLeave her alone, Toph. She can use the distraction, you know, the dudeâs not a bad thing to look at.â The whistle that let his lips in your defense made you laugh a little, feeling your face get a little hot with the realization that you were not even a little discrete.
âIt's not like I couldâve known.â Tophâs lips curled in a little smile when she shook her hand in front of her eyes. They were green under the layer that covered them and it was always a little enchanting to look at. That was a problem you had, apparently, the incapacity to simply look away. âI know it's hard to believe, but Iâm not trying to be mean. It's just that you were a little quieter all of a sudden. You always look away when this guy is in the room and I thought that maybe it could be him again, so⊠was I right?â
You looked at Sokka, shaking your head. It would be easy for him to understand that you wanted him to deny, deny, deny, no?
âYou were.â He confirmed, rolling his eyes at the idea of lying to Toph for such a banal thing as your obvious liking of this stranger. She smiled brightly at the confirmation.
âWhatâs so interesting about him? Sokka said heâs not bad. Is he pretty?â You don't answer at first, ashamed of the fact that you could give her a good reason for it without even touching on the obvious matter. The scar.
It was true, the dude, as Sokka had called him, was a very handsome man. Everything about him seemed to work out perfectly fine on its own, and the whole set? Frustratingly breathtaking. He had broad shoulders, long hair, a good bone structure, well-built muscles and⊠well, the scar. A burn mark around his eye that blended on his face in a way that told everyone who gave it five seconds of thought that he had it for a long time, which urged the next question, and the next, and the next. How long? How did this happen? Who did this to him? Was it an accident? Had it been provoked? Imposed? You felt bad for the curiosity because really, it was none of your business, but there was no way of denying it anymore: he spiked your interest, and you didn't think your curiosity would simply go away without being fed first.
This time around, when Sokka opened his mouth to answer, you just cut him off by saying it before he could.
âHe is handsome,â you started, as it sounded in your head when you rationalized it, but something about the question made your own lips curl when your shoulders shrunk. She cannot see for herself, so even though it makes you feel shy to say it out loud, you have to be the one to say that, yes, he is a handsome man in all the ways that made one, but also⊠he had a sort of delicacy to his face that made him more than that. âHe has a burn mark right here,â you continue, lowering the tone of your voice so that you couldnât be heard by the bystanders as your fingers rose to reach her face, your touch resting just below her left eye. âIt doesn't make him any less pretty.â
âOh, wow.â Her brows shot up, amused and surprised.
âWhat?â
âYou would think heâs a muse and not a work crush hearing this. Calm down, Shakespeare.â
You roll your eyes at the comment and laugh it off, but canât avoid noticing how the skin under your fingers turns hot. Tophâs pale skin is painted by a light blush; you refrain your touch when Sokka clears his throat, earning a new shrug out of you.
âHeâs not a work crush. And you make it sound like I just said something crazy, but it's true, he is handsome and pretty and whatever. Sokka, tell her!â Your exasperation only earned a laugh from both of them.
âI already said it, he's not bad. You sound a little more romantic saying it, though.â
âI do not.â
âOh, you do. Heâs just so pretty.â He imitates your voice, making Toph laugh.
âI do not sound like that!â Even with the emphasis, Sokka continues to insist and at any point in the whole exchange you consider for only a brief moment to just give up in your denial and admit. You deny again and again, and again, and you could keep denying for a whole long time if your lunch break wasnât about to end, a fact reminded by your colleagues, who got here fifteen minutes before you and had to go right now.
âHit us up if you need anything, okay?â Even with the teasing, he could sound a little fraternal. It was obvious in the way he would not intervene in Tophâs moves but existed around her ready to help if she needed anything at any time.
âGood luck with your people watching, stalker.â She blows you a kiss when standing up, her hand brushing past your hair in a temptative caress before opening the retractable cane. Her comment makes you blush and you canât really avoid asking yourself if that was what she wanted as revenge for daring to touch her.
You try not to delve into that line of thinking. Not allowing yourself to think about questions you knew that wouldn't be answered and daring to feel curious about people who would not be around you for too long. There was a lot about Toph you didn't understand. You knew she was the daughter of your boss and that she was pleasant to be around, with her dynamic duo attached to the hip, but there was a lot more you would like to know that you accepted was probably for the best to not indulge, even then, the curiosity remained. There was always a voice in your head reminding you that even though she is one of your best friends here, this was still a workplace and you were not exactly the best person at keeping a job and being her friend would not protect you. Could you even say it assuredly? That she was your friend? Who could say what was genuine in a place like this? What kept being genuine after you were fired? Keeping things at a distance was the best way to protect yourself and your feelings when things did not work out in the end. Even though you really liked the job and felt comfortable for the first time in a while, it was not like this one was going to last. None of the ones before did.
Thinking about the briefness of relationships built in the workplace did not exactly make you feel better about the sudden interruption of your daily dosage of company. Instead, it makes their absence very noticeable when they're gone and youâre reminded that you still have some minutes you don't know how to use. Having a good look at your food that sat there barely touched, it's clear that the last minutes were too distracting and you did not want to eat anymore. You close the lids on the containers and put it back on the lunch box, the hunger as absent as the presence around you, even now that the distraction is over. Is it, though?
Itâs sudden, a mere suggestion that makes your face contort on itself in a grimace. It's a thought that taunts your peace, because youâre trying. You're trying not to look at him, now that you know youâre not the most discrete and if Toph knew, it was certainly because someone had told her and you know exactly who had done it, because he was not even a little ashamed of it. Toph could be as smart and perceptive as she was and not be able to simply guess the scar on his face, but if Sokka out of all people had been able to realize your new obsession⊠well, it was not going to be a secret for long. Everyone would hear about it and if you were not aware of it yet, you would be soon enough. The possibility makes your insides turn.
You were curious about him, not only about the scar or about what he did at work or how he could be so beautiful and seem to not be aware of it, no, it was all of it but not only that, it all could be boiled down to that specific moment. You were curious about what was that sudden thought that made him absent for a little while, and why would he look in your general direction sometimes and if maybe, just maybe, he remembered your name like you remembered his?
You could not admit it in front of your friends. That you had his name engraved in your mind since the day that you smiled at him in the coffee shop after a mistake on which card to use to pay for your coffee made him step up and get it for you. It was so embarrassing that you were only capable of smiling and thanking him before fleeing away as fast as you could. You could not admit that he tried to introduce himself and all you could retain was his first name and nothing else. It's Zuko, he said, when you thanked him with a thank you, kind stranger empathizing the stranger where his name was supposed to be. You didn't tell him yours, not that day at least. You were already in a hurry to come back to work and you just⊠zapped away. Which was a terrible decision, because the embarrassment that pushed you to run only made everything even more awkward in your head and in the subsequent days, when you met him by accident, that same scene replayed in your head and your first instinct was to avoid him. There was no reason for that, really, but you always hid, tried to walk faster, to seem like you were interested in anything but him. It did not work out. When you started avoiding him, he also started to be everywhere: the coffee shop, the canteen, the damn corridors, for fucks sake! You were sure he did not work in the same office as you, but somehow that had happened, as if the universe had a particular way of laughing in your face.
Eventually, you found peace at being at the same places at the same time, by telling yourself that that random act of kindness seemed like something he would do for anyone and you should not worry that he would remember you forever. The thought comforted you in that moment and everything went downhill ever since.
You told him your name a few weeks later, when the lack of avoidance made you weirdly comfortable to give it a try. The power supply in the whole building had gone out and everyone was dismissed for the rest of the day. It would be a dream to have the whole day for yourself and do something fun with the extra time, if the rain wasn't starting to get really nasty out there, of course. The only option you had was to get home as soon as possible before any possible means of transport got crowded and useless; you dreaded the idea of taking the subway under these conditions, but if you tried a cab or a bus, it would take forever to get home with the awful traffic, so the subway it would be. It was by the exit, when you finally decided what to do, that you saw him, looking like a lost puppy in the hall.
âI thought everyone in your office was gone already.â Your comment attracted his eyes and he gave you a soft smile. At that moment, rather than wanting to run away, you felt at ease. âWhat kept you here? Afraid of melting in the rain?â
âKind of. I don't have an umbrella.â His voice was not exactly deep, but now that you could hear it in a whole sentence, it was not bad on the ears either.
âAre you going to the station? I can take you with me.â You lifted the umbrella. Seemed spacious enough for the two of you.
âThe station?â He looked at you, looking genuinely confused for a moment. Maybe by the fact that you said more than two words and had just proposed to stand in his vicinity for the next ten minutes.
âThe subway station.â The clarification made his expression brighten.
âOh, yes. Yes, of course. Can I go with you?â The question was his way of asking for an educated confirmation, but even before you answered, Zuko was already walking up to you.
âThat's what I said.â
It was as simple as that. You laughed, he laughed. It was easy to keep talking to him for some reason, like there was not a way of the talk going wrong now that you had no way of running in the opposite direction. In the ten minutes of conversation you discovered the possibility of keeping him on your mind as more than the guy you're trying to run away since he paid you a favor without asking for anything in return. It sounded a little crazy, when you thought about it, that you were so nervous that everything seemed like the absolute wrong thing to say and to avoid the crippling anxiety the idea of being unpleasant gave you, you just avoided being anything at all.
At some point in the walk he offered himself to hold the umbrella and you let him, thinking about how it was easier that way, no? Being taller, it was probably better to protect himself from the rain and you were being a little clumsy trying to shield you both. By the time you arrived at the station, you had managed to be almost completely dry but the side of his clothes were wet. It was a large umbrella, enough for the both of you, but still to this day, you cannot bring yourself to stop thinking about the way he made sure you were guarded. He was aware that you noticed it, but none of you said a thing about it.
âYou never told me your name.â And just before your train arrived, you finally gave it to him. âI like it. Better than stranger danger, I think.â That same soft smile indicates that the nature of the comment was lighthearted, but you were taken aback by the comment and your whole expression freezes with surprise.
You told yourself it was a joke about the kind stranger comment you made the other day, but it reminded you of the self-consciousness that you had ignored up until that point. All you could do was laugh awkwardly, when the guilt of avoiding him and then starting to watch the guy almost obsessively finally caught up to you. He knew? Was he scared? He thought you were insane? You didn't know what to say and you could swear that he did not expect you to be out of words, so it was easier to believe in the joke alternative, but the way that his eyes analyzed you in that moment did not lie; seeing you like that up close had an effect on him and he did not apologize. Zuko seemed⊠amazed. When you entered the wagon, he did not make a move that indicated that he was going anywhere. Until your face was out of sight, he stayed on the platform, watching you through the window and waving you goodbye. You two have not talked since.
This happened a few weeks ago and you didn't think you would stop revisiting that whole exchange anytime soon, as long as you kept seeing him. Which happened a lot lately because you both always ended up in the same lunch break and you not only saw the guy, but kept watching him like a crazy stalker, to the point of noticing the smallest details and only feeding into the future accusations he could possibly throw in your direction. You really were a stranger danger, after all. That was the reason why the comment made you so anxious, wasnât it? Because the familiarity between the two of you was artificial, and all the information you had about the guy had been given to you by any means that were not⊠him. You were not a criminal, but what if Zuko thought that meant you were insane? And that what your friends called a work crush to him seemed as an absurd obsession?
You feel nauseous. You feel nauseous and can only thank when your phone rings and the call disturbs your thoughts, dragging you back to this moment only to remember that even though your mind was in another place, your body is still in the canteen, alone, thinking about a guy whoâs sitting across the room, while not even eating, which could make you seem even more weird. Tophâs name and a picture of you two light the phone screen along a sequence of messages with your new tasks for the rest of the day. You take that as the sign that your lunch time is over and finish packing your stuff, drinking the whole soda before throwing the can on your way out.
You try not to check up on him before leaving for good, because you are doing oh so well when only thinking about him, but your eyes betray you. A chill runs down your spine and pushes you to hurry yourself out even faster, because when you look at him, he is already looking at you.
*
He wonders if you thought that he wouldn't notice. Everytime you looked at him and stayed looking at him for an awfully long time, turning your gaze elsewhere only when someone snapped your attention away, or even before, when you would simply refuse to stay in the same room with him and would always find the most creative hiding spots just to make sure he wouldn't see you. It was a waste of time, you know, the idea of trying to hide. Zuko was very aware of you, since the day in the coffee shop, maybe even before; he was just more composed about it. He wonders if you thought that he wouldn't notice, because he knows for sure that you didn't.
At first, he thought it was cute. The whole thing, you, it felt very lighthearted and it would make him smile all of a sudden when thinking about the pretty girl in the publishing office upstairs, for which he would sometimes offer his services as a law consultant in intellectual property. Then, he started to revisit the idea of you more frequently than it would be considered healthy to think about someone he didn't even know the name of. He was not the most lazy lawyer that the firm had, nor the most brilliant, but it was clear to everyone he was a damn competent one, and somehow, not even that protected him of being observed by his colleagues, who noticed how his work started to get done at an astounding speed, especially when the contractor was the publishing house. Someone joked about the girlfriend he must have there, to be so anxious to keep visiting the other office, but he just rolled his eyes and kept working, because he could not admit they were right. He wanted to see you.
He had an umbrella, on the day he walked with you in the rain. He had left it in the office and was about to get back to pick it up when he saw you in the hall, and you said something for the first time since the other encounter. He doubted for a moment that you were talking to him, but the lie he answered you with was so automatic that there was no turning back from that. Walking with you was nice, even though he was not really someone to take the subway, it was just a good opportunity to know more about you before the awkwardness and embarrassment made you close to an advance again. The talk went well and right before he could ruin it all with a comment he thought was going to make you laugh, the realization that you were pretty, cute and funny made him mortified. Now that you were more than an idea in his head and he liked what he saw of you, Zuko immediately felt sick to his stomach. It was going to get so much worse.
The thought of becoming obsessed with you probably sounded a lot worse in his head than it really was, and he felt bad for it, because he could not bring himself to just cut the distance between the two of you and stop just lurking around like an idiot and a creep. He was lucky you were a little clueless and that your friends were more focused on the fact that you were making a fool of yourself to notice that he was not any better. Not only was he not better, but he could also be very much more pathetic. The only thing protecting him from the teasing by his closest colleagues was the fact that he knew about their secret dates that the HR would not appreciate, and that they thought he really needed someone new. More than a year had passed since his last breakup and Aang and Katara were already losing their hopes that Zuko would ever be interested in another girl apart from Mai. It was mutually beneficial to the three of them that they let him just⊠feel that.
A part of him liked the fact that he had your undivided attention without any talk being needed, that you surely thought of him and that you had so many questions that he would love to answer, but what would happen after answering your questions? Would your interest vanish? What did you know about him? How much more could you know before you got tired and bored? Zuko knew your name, your schedule, where in the office you worked, who your friends were. He knew the coffee you liked and when to go for his lunch break just to see you every day, but what about you? Despite the constant watching, what else was there in the image you constructed of him in your head? Would the real Zuko be a complete disappointment in comparison? Could he be able to make up for it?
He doesn't know exactly when simply existing in your vicinity ceased to fulfill his initial need of proximity. Zuko knew the day would come, of course, but it felt too soon, didn't it? Or was it too late? This thing between you two could be dragged along forever if it depended on the capacity of any of you to take the lead; at the end of the day, he _was_ shy. And you⊠well, you were you. If making the wrong comment was able to put you in such an embarrassed state, anxious how the others would react to it and feeling the need to hide to not face that it was really not that serious, he could not even imagine how that translated into your love life. He was not one to judge, though.
It was hard for him to have enough interest in anyone to muster the courage needed to actively talk to the person and for the first time in a really long time, it seemed like he had finally met that one specific requirement, in an amount far greater than expected. Now that Zuko had enough interest, the only thing missing was courage, of course. It was not an easy feat to achieve and you could very much not reciprocate the feeling and feel obligated to say yes if he asked you out so⊠that locked the both of you in an impasse where no one dared to make a move while waiting for the other one to move, which ultimately just left you two exactly in the same initial spot. It was eating him up on the insides. He needed something to be done soon; he needed to do something soon.
Zuko did not show up in the canteen for a whole week after you saw him looking at you. He imagined you were talking about him to your friends, even after you lowered your voice, because you were watching him just before touching Tophâs face exactly where his burn mark sat. It was a little upsetting to think about how that was the thing everyone noticed upfront, but to see your eyes lost when your mind wandered had stolen his attention much more vigorously than anything absurd he could ever think and Zuko decided he could forgive you for not seeing much beyond; he had not given you the opportunity yet. And after thinking extensively about how you were not good at disguising the way you looked at him, he just⊠did that. He sat there and watched you until your phone rang and you went away. Not before looking at him for the last time, though, which meant your eyes had locked with his eyes and the way you seemed mortified about it just wasn't funnier because he too was mortified with the idea of getting caught red-handed. Suddenly, he became very conscious of how odd it may have been, and decided he could not show up in front of you again without being prepared to make the first move.
The restlessness about when, where and how to ask you out drove him crazy in a way that ended up taking him three steps back on the productivity he had been displaying in the whole period of trying to get a glimpse of you when frequently visiting the publisher for the consultation they hired him for. When his appearances decreased in frequency again, his absence was not weird to Poppy Beifong, who trusted immensely in his capableness and even with the wonky deadlines, his ability to get the job done right; she knew it could take a while, but the matter was in good hands, so there was nothing to worry about. Even though your boss trusted him, she did not let him go easy with the delayed delivery of work, making a snarky comment for everyone to hear about how hard it was to make him get out of his office and how she had forgotten what a pretty face Zuko had. He wished for a place to bury his head and hide, so that he could not get caught blushing and trying to explain himself before the woman erupted in laughter. His reaction to the teasing was enough to pay off the delay in Beifongâs eyes. Zuko could not thank the gods and spirits enough for deciding to go up to the publisher at the time he knew you would be on your lunch break.
âI wish whatever was taking your sleep a few weeks ago would make a comeback as soon as possible.â This time, she said it lower, closing the doors before accommodating herself behind the desk and starting to revise the papers you had delivered. âIâm almost snatching you for good from Irohâs hands just so that I can control how many hours a day you spend working instead of daydreaming.â She sighed, but her tone was far from a reprimand.
âYou can always hire another one, you know. Iâm sorry to be delaying your deadlines, but the firm has other professionals that can keep up with the demand.â The answer was calm, even if the comment made his ears red hot. There was no need for a comeback. You were just a few meters away.
âThe worst part is that youâre not delaying anything. Even doing it at a healthy rhythm, you are still capable of doing everything right on time. Frustrating for me, of course, who would simply love to overload you with all the work I want to be done. So lame of you, Zuko.â Poppy shrugged, rolling her eyes and curling her lips in the same jokingly manner of her daughter. He was not very familiar with the girl who was going to inherit the company, aside from the fact that she always accompanied you, but he imagined she could not be much different. Fun, but cutthroat.
âSorry for not being the best to exploit, Mrs. Beifong.â The comment earned him a soft laugh. She was never serious, but with the almost four years of business partnership between them and the proximity of their families since he was little, she could not stop herself of picking on him, as if someone would to a very dear child; Poppy would only do it when he showed around, though, which was not often, so she had to take the opportunities laid to her!
âWell, for the record, we have this new girl that's been around for a few months and she is very good at that.â She says, and he knows immediately that itâs about you. Zukoâs expression freezes for a moment, momentarily mad at the idea before he realizes she's joking again. âShe can do surprisingly good work with contract management for someone whoâs not a lawyer or studied business, it relieved a lot of our demand. She probably deserves a raise, poor thing.â Her eyes never left the papers, so she canât notice that his interest spiked at your mention. âI can never really talk to her about it. I think she's afraid of being fired if she stays next to me for more than five minutes. Donât you think that's insane? I havenât fired you!â
âShe seems like a very anxious person.â The instant the words fell out of his mouth, Zuko knew he had taken the bait. Her eyes come up when the last page is finished reading and thereâs a wicked grin spreading in her lips.
âOh, wow.â Her brows shot up, amused.
âWhat?â
âWhen Iroh told me about it, I couldnât really believe it.â
âTold you about what?â His brows furrow in genuine confusion.
âThat you were looking for someone in here! Oh, I even thought we were going to finally introduce you to Toph!â Poppy put the papers aside, more interested in the gossip displayed than in the idea of keeping working.
âYou were not the only one thinking it.â
âShe asked about you one day, did you know? If Irohâs nephew wasnât the guy with a scar right here?â She pointed to the left eye. âI think that settles it, uh? If she was asking, maybe it was because someone else wanted to know.â
âI think that's an HR infringement.â That makes her laugh. It is very much clear how Zuko wants to disguise the fact that that one piece of information had made him all excited, blushing and everything just with the confirmation of something he only suspected but could not prove and therefore, felt insane to think about so surely. You were talking about him to Toph. Even her mom knew!
âWe work two separate offices, as far as I know, Iâm just talking to a friend now. Besides, I wonât tell them if you don't.â She winked.
âIt's not a big deal. We talked once and Iâm thinking about asking her out, that's it.â The confession is simple, but makes him feel like a weight is lifted off his shoulders.
âWell, I canât tell by myself because she's afraid of me, but Tophâs not a bad judge of character and they are always together, soâŠâ
âYeah, I thought so too. She does not look like a bad person at all. Are you going to give her a raise for being Tophâs friend?â Zuko cannot avoid poking fun at the thought, trying to dodge the attention away from him.
âOh, never. Sokkaâs been trying this one with me since day one. She is, in fact, just really good at what she does.â Poppy realizes what heâs doing, but decides to not point it out. âCould use a little more confidence and some rest and relaxation, though.â
âEveryone in your team needs a little rest and relaxation, Mrs. Beifong. I doubt a lot of them have my luck in having a really lovely lady to talk to instead of working.â He starts to stand up when a brief look at his wrist watch tells Zuko that if he doesn't get out of here soon enough, you are going to get back to the office. The look at the time and the girl by the door, also. Toph.
âHey! You're here!â Tophâs voice met him with a surprising warmth. Zuko looked from Toph to Poppy, from Poppy to Toph, confused if the woman was talking to him. Her eyes were never a good indicator of that. âYouâre Irohâs nephew, arenât you?â
âGood afternoon, Toph. Do you need anything?â It's her mother who answers, making Toph smile brightly in the fashion of the shameless daughter reputation she had.
âYes! Thank you for asking.â She felt the ground wiggling the cane around when entering the office. âYour name is Zuko, right? Iâm Toph.â The woman stretched out her arm, making Zuko move to meet her hand right where it was in the air.
âNice to finally meet you, Toph. I was just leaving. Iâll go so that you two can talk.â He shook her hand and was about to go when she grabbed him with force, keeping him right where he was.
âOh, no, I want to talk to you.â She clarified, which surprised him. âIt's nothing serious, really, I was thinking about just asking Sokka to send the message to Katara, but now that youâre here, that makes it easier, right?â
âHm⊠I think so?â
âCould you please tell her and Aang we're going to meet at the hall for the happy hour later? You're invited too.â Sheâs still smiling and holding his hand the whole time it takes for him to answer, which is a little unsettling. Poppy clears her throat and Toph finally lets him go.
âIâll give them the message.â Zuko nods out of habit, embarrassed when he reminds himself that she is blind. âIt was a pleasure to meet you again, Mrs. Beifong, and really nice to be introduced to you, Toph.â
âYeah, Iâm sure. Weâll be waiting for you guys at the hall!â She has a mischievous grin when he walks out as if running away for dear life, not even stopping to hear her mother say goodbye.
He doesn't look around for you when crossing the office to the exit, hoping that you would still be at your lunch. Of course, his calculations were only slightly wrong; if Zuko had left before Toph got to him, he couldâve avoided you, but with the distraction⊠that only resulted in him walking right up to you at the entrance. It must make a funny scene to watch from the outside, how the both of you freeze and just stand there looking mutually stupid while facing each other. It was awkward, to say the least, but very endearing also.
âHm⊠hi. Can IâŠ?â You say, pointing to the office as if to ask him to get out of your way in the softest of voices.
âOh, shit, sure. Sorry, Iâm sorry.â He excuses himself with a nervous smile, taking a step back in the frame of the doors to give you space to enter.
âDonât worry, Zuko. I don't bite.â The statement is a little bolder than heâs used to coming from you, but seems to be what his nervousness needs to dissipate. You finally walk past him and give him a bright smile. The absence of your usual anxiousness puts him at ease.
âThat's a waste of some good teeth you have there.â The words fall out of his mouth before he can think about it and the absurdity of that phrase makes his eyes widen. You try to hold your laughter, but it's impossible. His ears and neck get all red when his face canât contain just how much embarrassment he feels.
âI think no one has ever said a good thing about my teeth, so⊠thank you?â He nods, not knowing what to say after and prepares to retreat back to his work in order to avoid saying anything awkward again. âIs it true that you work with Sokkaâs sister?â
âKatara, yes.â Zuko stopped on his tracks, his attention caught again, snatched away from the need to escape.
âIs she nice? I think Iâm going to meet her later.â
âYouâll love her, itâs impossible not to.â He can swear your brows furrowed for a slight moment, but Zuko does not give it a second thought when the details given align on his head. âAre you going to the happy hour?â
âAbsolutely. Tophâs paying, so who am I to refuse?â You nodded, your own eyes widening when everything clicks to you too. âAre you coming with us?â
âOh, yes. Sure.â Well, he was not intending to, but your presence was certainly an effective encouragement.
âI guess it's a date, then.â Now your face is the one getting all flushed once you realize what you just said. The nervous laugh leaves your lips when you get really conscious about where you are now, with who, being watched by who. âSee you later, Zuko.â Is the last thing you can say before rushing off to your desk. He waves before parting on his own way, even if you don't see it. It's a little dumb, but heâs smiling when letting Aang and Katara know about what the three of them were going to be up to later.
*
As the day goes by, it becomes very much clear that Toph set you up in this. The whole interaction with Zuko by the door had not gone unnoticed by anyone present in the office and you could only thank the fact that most of your colleagues were on their own lunch breaks when yours finished and you got back, but you did not come out unscathed from Sokkaâs gossiping. He was right there beside Toph when you sat at your desk and the thumbs up she gave you when informed that you were looking at them told you everything you needed to know about what was the subject of their talking. When she invited you to the happy hour yesterday, it was mentioned that Sokkaâs sister was disgustingly in love with one of her coworkers in the law firm and that Sokka was going to introduce his new girlfriend to his friends, so that made her the only one single and unaccompanied in the group and that you simply had to go if you didn't hate her and wanted to make sure she had a pair in the third wheeling. Well, you were not a bad friend at all, so with an invite like that added to the proposition of paying for everything, you couldnât find a reason to decline the invitation and was actually happy to be considered for a meeting that seemed almost intimate; until, of course, hearing that Zuko was also going to be there.
The way he answered earlier when asked about Katara made you momentarily nauseous and suddenly aware of the fact that you didn't know who was the coworker Sokkaâs sister was disgustingly in love with. You told yourself it would be insane to believe Toph would make you go out drinking with them only to let you know that your hypothetical work crush was taken by someone much closer to them after both spent the last days joking about your obsession. It was not even a reasonable thought to have, that she was doing it on purpose, but every time the measly chance of that being the case passed through your head, you felt like throwing up.
You had not seen Zuko in a whole week after you caught him staring at you in the cafeteria, which was slightly disappointing because when you got over the awkward feeling that exchange of glances hit you with, you were excited by the idea that it could happen again. That you could look at him and he could look at you at the same time and⊠you didn't know what to expect next, after one of you won the staring contest, but there was a hope that in the meantime of looking into his eyes from across the room, you would finally learn the right thing to say. Unfortunately, your hopes of ever learning were crushed by his absence and now, you could only ask yourself if there was a reason for his presence fading and if that was his interest for another woman. One that he could talk with, for sure, and it was impossible not to love.
At the end of the day, you didn't know much about Zuko beyond his name, what he worked with and what services he offered to Poppy Beifong, only because she had once mentioned that the talented lawyer downstairs was a little lazy and that she was grateful for you being able to organize everything in a way that made it easier for the law consultant to work faster when he was needed and that was how you clicked what exactly was he doing up here when you bumped into him in the corridors. You also knew the law firm he worked for was owned by his uncle, but that was not much, and even the fact that you were sure his lunch break always aligned with yours could not be supported anymore by a whole week of vanishing completely. The options were that you were wrong about his schedule, a possible sickness, or he was out in very expensive restaurants trying to impress his coworker to the point of her being head over heels. None of which sounded pleasant to think about.
The possibility that you were about to be faced with a heartbreak without even shooting your shot made you ill. You thought about cancelling, but Toph looked so excited about it that you didnât have the heart to frustrate her plans even though your own expectations for tonight had been busted. This night was going to be the first time you were going out with them in the entirety of your four months here, finally yielding under the pressure of the invites you thought were made only out of politeness. Now that you accepted, changing your mind midday was a guarantee that you were probably never going to be invited out again, so you just tried to not focus on the idea of seeing Zuko with another woman and looking at her with something in his eyes that was more than the awkwardness and embarrassment you earned or that blank stare when he was fixated on something. It was not fair. It did not feel fair. But of course, what couldâve you done? They worked together and the oh so lovely Katara probably was capable of sustaining a whole conversation without running away or overthinking everything she said and then killing the conversation by saying something really odd, despite thinking too hard on what she should say. You were pathetic. You were sure of it now, if all that came before was not enough to indicate that, but instead of doing something about it, you decided that you should just accept it for today and be pathetic on your own, without making it everyoneâs problem. The happy hour was going to happen and you were going to watch Zuko and Katara together, laughing and looking at each other, despite having called the encounter a date between the two of you earlier.
After telling yourself you were not going to think too hard about it and then proceeding to spend the whole day thinking too hard about it, you reached the very obvious conclusion that you absolutely dreaded the thought of having to face him after saying that, but as if the gods and spirits were in your favour, by the time all of you had to meet at the hall, none of the lovey dovey employees of the law firm were there. You sighed, letting go of the breath you didnât even realize you were holding in the way down.
âKatara told us to get going so that we can find ourselves a good spot in the bar. They had something urgent come up.â Sokka warned, already waiting for you and Toph outside with the girlfriend he was intending to introduce to his sister. Suki, who was very pretty and pleasant at the first sight, introduced herself as an Aikido instructor, right before adding that it was how she and Sokka had met, when he complained about being placed in a low level in the classes and challenged the strongest one in the dojo to knock him down. âShe kicked my ass in less than five seconds. It was humbling, to say the least.â He added, with a tone that indicated that he had made peace with the humiliation to the point of finding it endearing to revisit.
The four of you decided to squish up in an Uber to the bar, and while Sokka assumed his designated passenger princess seat, you, Toph and Suki found a way to fit in comfortably in the backseat. You held Tophâs hand, listening attentively when Suki talked about her work, rather than talking extensively about how the relationship had started out. There would be time for that later, when you should hear all about how Katara fell in love with her coworker too. You inhaled deeply to soothe yourself and when the Uber dropped you off at the bar, instead of breathing slowly and counting five things you see to calm down, you resorted to distracting yourself of that already familiar line of thinking by becoming the waiterâs best friend and trying the most you could out of the drinkâs menu before the other ones arrived, so that you wouldnât be sober to deal with that.
The talk went smoothly with Suki, with Tophâs snarky comments and occasional remarks of how loud the place was and the need to talk even louder. It was probably by smelling your breath when you talked how she realized that not even an hour in, you were already drunk. She decided on not commenting on that, directing her mean spirited jokes at the couple all while still holding your hand. You two were a pair of third wheels after all, it was for obligation that she had to team up with you to crush the spirit of those in love. You wished she kept that energy until Zuko and Katara arrived.
When you tried ordering another drink after downing the last, she asked for water instead, pushing it on your hands when you tried giving it to her. You took it without a word, feeling your face get hot when you realized you had gone overboard. Your friends seemed to be too absorbed in each other's presence to notice that brief exchange, making you loosen up a bit instead of simply closing in on yourself. It was okay. Everything was going to be okay. Just another hour and you could think of a good excuse to leave without raising suspicion about your true motives.
âOh, finally. Look who it is!â Sokka pointed to the entrance, and you looked at your half empty cup of water, drinking the rest of it before taking a look. âI was almost convinced that one of the two colleagues you talked about only existed in your head.â Two? Your brows furrow in genuine confusion and your eyes shoot up at an astounding speed.
When you looked at the couple that had just arrived, your gaze was met with three people instead of the two you expected. You realized a few things when observing the newcomers: for starters, Katara was absolutely beautiful. You were fixated on her face and the sweet smile on her lips, right before your attention was snatched by her hand intertwined with the one of a complete stranger. A tall, bald and muscular handsome stranger. Zuko was right behind them, with that look of a lost puppy you had only seen before when it rained. Then, the second realization kicked right in: if the hand holding meant a thing, the mysterious coworker Katara was in love with was that stranger and not Zuko. You got it all wrong.
âYou can be so dramatic sometimes, Sokka. Itâs a special occasion, of course he wanted to be here for it.â She laughs, and lets go of the stranger to greet everyone with hugs and kisses, even you. She smelled great too. âHi! Nice to meet you! Iâm Katara!â Your eyes widened with the sudden warmth and as she walked past you to Toph, leaving you behind stunned, the sheepish smile was everything you felt capable of offering alongside your name. âDonât give him a hard time over it or heâs not accepting any of our invites anymore.â
âPlease, do not comment on Zuko never going out with us. Heâs going to leave.â The stranger's smile widened when complementing Kataraâs phrase as he also greeted everyone with a hug and a kiss before sitting in a chair and starting to look at the menu. âIt's a pleasure to meet all of you. Iâm Aang, by the way.â
âDo you guys realize Iâm right here?â It was the first time you heard his voice since earlier this day. Zukoâs face looks so hot and the expression so mortified, that it almost matched the lighter tone of the burn mark.
âIâm sorry. We didn't even know you knew Toph and itâs not like you were interested in spending the rest of your Friday with us before.â Katara shrugged, unapologetic, already finding a seat by Aangâs side. The only place there was for Zuko was⊠beside you. He realized that and seemed even more agitated before taking his seat.
âZuko actually just met me earlier today. My mom likes the guy and talks to him lots and lots, what can I do? I thought it would be nice to finally introduce myself to him and ask him to come. Not my fault Iâm more convincing than any of you losers.â Toph laughed. Your shoulders touch his and the room feels a little too crowded suddenly. Or was it the alcohol catching up to you? You felt hot. Like you could use another cup of water, actually. Or maybe washing up your face would suffice?
âExcuse me.â You ask, getting up too suddenly, by the surprised looks on everyoneâs faces. You laugh nervously while not offering any explanation, before heading up to the bathroom, crushed under the weight of his gaze following you. You couldnât even be sure if someone had tried talking to you, not like you were listening anyway.
For a bar like that, loud and busy, the bathroom was surprisingly empty. There were other girls around still, but not a lot of them, which made it easier to slide in there, wash up your face and look in the mirror for an unsettling amount of time without disrupting some kind of queue. Staring at your image reflected in the mirror, you could only look slightly better than a few minutes earlier, now that you realized the thought that consumed you the whole day was all a misunderstanding. Now, instead of feeling just pathetic, you felt pathetic and stupid. Pathetic, stupid and very drunk, after making that much ado about nothing. You canât even bring yourself to return immediately to the table, going to the bar counter to ask for another cup of water. You needed to sober up and try to not keep making a fool of yourself.
âYou should probably eat something.â It's sudden and you jump in the stool, a hand over your heart with the scare. Zukoâs voice disturbs the noise and the fact that itâs him contributes to leaving you even more petrified. He sits in the stool by your side, asking for a drink. âAang accused me of scaring you off.â You almost miss that, his voice sounding a little too low for such a place. âI can go if me being here is a problem for you.â
âWhat? No!â Youâre too stunned to form a coherent thought, taken aback with the idea that he could really think that. Well, yes, you needed some time to deal with the fact that you went a little insane earlier and now you would have to bear the consequences while sitting beside him, but that was not his fault. If someone was guilty, it was you. Your wide eyes go up to his face and he tries so hard not to look at you, but ultimately, he just stares back.
âI don't think the others heard, but Toph said you may have drunk a lot. I just⊠wanted to ask if youâre okay.â His drink and your water are placed in front of you both, but it takes a few seconds to notice, still looking at him.
âI am, yes. It was just⊠well, I had this awful thing on my head the whole day and ended up realizing that I was being a little stupid about it. It's not a problem with you.â Your shoulders shrunk when you shrugged, drinking the water and laughing nervously.
âOh, yeah? Can you tell me what it was?â The soft tone of his voice makes you feel comfortable. You probably shouldnât do it, but you nod almost obediently, the alcohol messing up with your notion of what was acceptable.
âI thought you and Katara were dating.â He coughs immediately, resting his cup at the counter to clear his throat. His face told you everything you needed to know: he could not fucking believe it. The cough turns into a mixture between a cough and a laugh and when he wonât stop, your eyes go even wider and your face even redder, fearing that you could be the very first one to kill someone by saying something absurd. You offer your water and he takes it, already asking for another to replace the one he took.
âMe. And Katara.â Eventually, the cough laugh moment ceases, and there is again this familiar silence while he downs the rest of the drink right after the water, as if to soak up a little liquid courage. âAside from the obvious, that she's dating my best friend and is a dear friend also, why was that awful?â
There is a kind of expectation in his eyes when you finally manage to lock your gaze into his again. You had never been so close before. It was clear at this distance that the left side of his face, the one where the burn mark was, would always be stilled and couldnât contribute much to the expression, but somehow, he managed to put such intensity in only his right eye, that you felt almost crushed under it.
âDo you like her?â Instead of answering his question, that's the best you can come up with.
âSheâs my friend, of course I like her. If you want to know if I like her romantically, though, that is a different matter.â Another drink for him. It does not seem like any of your fancy drinks from earlier, but he just took them without giving it much thought. Without even making a face. âAnd the answer would be no, in that case. Weâre not dating and Iâm not sad she's with Aang because Iâm secretly in love with her.â His need to be very specific probably intended to kill your possible reasoning before it took place.
âThat's⊠great, I guess. That your friends are happy and youâre happy for them.â You nodded to yourself, stretching up your hand to call the bartender. Maybe it was automatic or intentional, but he rested his hand on your forearm for a moment, lowering your arm. Your skin burned under your clothes.
âThey serve espresso martinis here.â He mentions and when you open your mouth to say that you shouldnât drink anymore, he shakes his head in agreement. âWeâll get just a regular espresso. Is there something you want to eat?â You reached out for the menu and started analyzing your options, pointing out to him, without even thinking of telling him he didn't have to do that. To guarantee that you were hydrated and fed and the most sobered up possible. He didn't have to do that, but you liked that he did and the attention made you feel happy, erupting in sudden giggles and low laughs when you thought he wasnât looking.
When you finished eating and drinking the strong coffee alongside another cup of water, you went to the bathroom one more time before you two returned to the table. The fact that both of you had passed the last hour at the counter was not pointed out or that he was helping you walk back without falling with your unstable stance. No one said a thing, but when you sat by his side for the rest of the night and actually managed to take part in the group conversation, it was noticeable how much more used to each other the two of you seemed.
*
Zuko still couldnât fully wrap his head around your unintended confession. He didn't think that you yourself could. The drunkenness probably protected you from realizing you told him that the idea of him and Katara had disturbed you the whole day to the point of drinking more than you should before he even arrived. He understood the feeling, of course, because after spending the whole day all smiles with the idea of seeing you out of the work place, Zuko felt his blood freeze for a brief moment when Katara mentioned Sokka was going to bring his new girlfriend to the hang out. They were already on their way and he could not just ask her to stop the car so that he could get off and not step foot in a bar to see you with her brother, the idea tormenting him for almost the whole ride, before she could keep talking about this girl who not only had a name that was not yours, but her description went on to sound less and less like you, until he was completely convinced that was not the case right before they got there; what he couldnât quite understand yet was why would you tell him that and not answer directly when asked about it. It messed him up.
At the bar counter, you looked at him with watery eyes and a mouth half-open when thinking about the next best thing to say and the only thing he could think about was asking himself if it was bad that he wished to kiss you. It was a whole moment filled with silence, despite the loud music around you; you couldnât hear it, neither could him. All that could be heard and felt was what one shared look, in which none of you said a thing and yet, the nervousness soon dissipated because it was simply too comfortable to just look at each other without feeling the need to fill in the lack of words because your eyes were doing all the talking. Maybe the messages couldnât quite fly across without being lost in translation, but if you kept just like this for long enough, soon there would be a shared language between the ones the both of you spoke.
When you two got back, the rest of the night went easy. After a few drinks, everything sounded a little funny and despite the combined efforts of Katara and Aang in messing with him, instead of embarrassment, he shared a few laughs more than they thought he would. Zuko couldnât stop himself from noticing how the Beifong girl clung to your hand and sometimes, despite being the loudest at the table, she would say something in your ear low enough for no one else to hear and only to make you laugh. He couldnât decide if he was jealous or curious, but reminding himself that you were friends with her long before he even set sight on you was enough for him to accept that at the end of the day it was only natural that she knew best what to say. At some point, he would be able to lean in and whisper something in your ear without it seeming weird for everyone else. For now, the smiles he earned from you would suffice.
For someone who was not into social gatherings at all, Zuko feels weirdly disappointed as soon as people start to leave and the bar starts to empty itself, which means that soon all of you are going home too. It's late at night now and everyone at the table with the sole exception of Aang had enough alcohol for today. At some point in the night, you even got back to sipping an alcoholic drink without feeling the need to empty the cup as soon as it got on your hands, which meant that even if you were hydrated, youâre still far from sober.
âIâm headed to the West Side, any of you want to go with me to the subway?â That same unstable stance when you walked back from the bar was very noticeable now with you standing up again. Zuko held your elbow in order to help you balance yourself.
âYouâre not taking the subway in these conditions, I can drive you.â He offered with a slight slurring.
âYou are not driving in these conditions. Your car is not even here.â Aang intervened, asking for a last round of water for everyone at the table and thrusting each of them a bottle to their hands before paying for everything consumed. Toph was not even given a chance. Zuko rolled his eyes at the comment when taking his card back from Aangâs hands.
âIt's not the end of the world to take an Uber, you know, you guys should try it.â Toph also talked with a slur to her words, which made you giggle. She was already asking for her car on the phone.
âAll of you had a drink, so do as Toph said and call an Uber, okay? It's safer, since I canât fit the five of you in my backseat.â Aang agreed, lowering his voice to sweet talk Katara into drinking her water and offering his own bottle when she asked for more. Your eyes fixated on them and Zuko let his eyes rest on the way you looked when soaking up all the interesting details in the environment. He was still supporting your elbow.
âAs your girlfriendâs brother, Iâm going to call dibs on the backseat with Suki. Weâre almost neighbors anyway.â Sokka put his coat on, helping Suki to dress her own before saying goodbye and heading out without even giving Aang a slight chance of denial.
âThat settles it, then. Suki and Sokka come with us and we trust that our very responsible friends are not doing anything stupid when we turn our backs?â The three of you just shrugged. After the two bottles of water, Katara sounded almost sober and equally nice, saying goodbye with another round of hugs and kisses before clinging to Aang.
âHey, if you two are going West, weâre all going in the same direction. We can add stops and take the same Uber.â Toph suggested, before confirming the Uber ride. Zuko and you agreed.
âAlright. Let me know if you guys got home safe, please.â Aang passes an arm over Kataraâs shoulders as they leave.
âOkay, Dad.â You retort when heâs already at a distance, with a chuckle, making him turn his head to offer you a smile and a wave goodbye. Zuko waved at them, taking his things and offering to hold the bags you two brought.
Now that they were gone and the Uber was close, you three headed out last to wait by the sidewalk. There is a silence and now that heâs not keeping your arm close, youâre back at the handholding with Toph.
âSo⊠Iâm back to third wheeling?â The girl finally asks, that same mischievous grin from earlier spread across her lips.
âShut up, Toph.â You censored her, rolling your eyes before reading the car plate from the vehicle approaching. âNo such thing as third wheeling when there's not a couple around.â
Zuko didn't say a thing, waiting for the car to stop before occupying the passenger seat, not wanting to be squished in the back with them and taking the risk of things getting awkward.
âYou two are pathetic.â She murmured, the slurring even more pronounced with her voice lowered. Zuko tried to distract himself by talking to the driver, but he seemed more interested in whatever was going on with the strangers in his car and decided to not endorse the avoidance. âSokka and Katara are very nosy people who compare notes about their friends all the time and the fact that I can notice whatâs going on and you two are incapable of admitting is revolting. Iâm fucking blind!â In the rearview mirror, Zuko can see that your lips are pressed together and your gaze is directed to your feet, avoiding his eyes.
âDonât do that.â He warns, noticing that not even the drunkenness can make it easy on you. It removed some of his own shame, but he perceived that the same could not be said of you.
âOr what? Iâll have to be around you all the time while the couples are together, as if you two are capable of paying attention to anything that is not each other?â Her own face is red, and Zuko canât say if it's genuine anger or pure exasperation. Her stop would be the first in a few minutes, but it seemed like the two of you had pissed Toph to a point that she could not take it even for a quick ride home. âI thought that making you two finally sit together close enough to be obligated to talk could solve this, but thereâs no difference! You didn't even exchange numbers! It's fucking maddening.â
âWe talked.â You murmured, defending yourself with such a quiet voice he almost couldnât hear you. That prevented Zuko from asking more about what she meant by making them sit together and if that was why she had made a point to invite him herself.
âYeah, you talked while at the bar and then got back and decided to not keep doing it in front of us.â Toph laughed, as if she couldnât even believe it to start with. âWhat are you guys so afraid of? It's not like you work at the same place or one of you is dating someone else. You worked with us for four months and three of those were spent obsessing with some guy you don't even know!â
âI wasâI was not obsessing.â The denial may come easy to you, but the stutter betrayed the truth in the accusation.
âDonât bother. Zukoâs not going to judge you because heâs not any better, eh?â His jaw becomes tense, still watching the scene back there in the rearview mirror. Toph had a sardonic smile, as if she could say that she had his attention. âHe started coming up to our office in person to deliver work only so that he could see you.â That makes you look at him, finally. Your eyes are in the mirror looking for him, surprisingly, he does not avert your gaze.
âWhat?â Tophâs smile widened and so did your eyes when he didn't even try to deny. âIs this true?â
âI had never talked to him before today, even though our families are very close, because not only does he almost never leave his office, he's also never out in public for long after work and never bothered to be introduced to anyone.â It's the final blow to convince you and while you are still appalled, your mind is thrown out of the attempts of guarding yourself from the exposition when Zuko becomes the focus.
So, there it was. Zuko canât even get mad at Toph or try to argue, because he then understands exactly how he got caught. There was no care in the world that could have protected him; Zuko could try all that he could to hide or disguise his interest, but it was the simple fact that he was interested in something that was surprising in the first place. That had gotten their attention and eventually, with all the information provided, his friends connected the dots leading to you. Understanding floods through him, as the car stops at Tophâs. Nothing is said after that beyond the goodbyes and Zuko takes advantage of the fact that thereâs an empty seat next to you to change seats before the Uber takes off.
âYou don't have to say anything if you don't want to.â It's the first thing he offers you and the low laugh that comes from you actually does all the answering before your words can try to. You never want to say anything.
âI was afraid you would think Iâm insane. You know, for watching you all the time? I don't understand how you⊠how could youâŠâ You press your lips, disturbed.
âWatch you and go unnoticed?â He completes the sentence and you nod. âThereâs this funny thing you do after a while. You look away when you think Iâll see you.â
âAnd you knew?â He shakes his head, confirming. Zuko sighs, running a hand over his face. âWhy have you never said a thing?â
âI was afraid you would think Iâm insane.â The parroting makes you roll your eyes, biting your lip. The idea that he was perfectly aware, instead of scaring you off, demystified a part of him in your mind that made him look so unattainable. Along, of course, with feeling a little more ridiculous for being an idiot so openly. Well, at least you were doing it together. âI was planning on asking you out. At some point this week.â
âWas? As in not anymore?â Your need for reassurance gets his eyes on you. He was a little obsessive, and in some way, you could be so much worse. Zuko smiled softly, reaching out with his hand.
âGive me your phone.â Thereâs no need to ask for more than once and when you put the phone in his hand, he also offered you his with the contact list already open. âI am still planning on asking you out if you want to. Can I consider that having your number means you want to hang out with me more?â
âWell, yes. But Toph and your friends⊠they said youâre not⊠you know, you don't like going out. Wouldn't it be⊠boring, or even annoying? Iâm sure I canât sustain a whole conversation for more than five minutes.â Zuko gives your phone back after writing down his number, looking at you and not saying a thing until you write down yours.
âI think you missed the part they also implied that Iâm making an effort for a very specific reason.â The statement shuts you up. He puts the phone away when you give it back.
Itâs only in that brief moment, after everything comes clear and the feelings of both of you are out in the open, that he considers the idea that maybe, just maybe, you really are a little crazy. Not for watching him or being awkward or easily embarrassed, but because, even after learning that youâre mutually obsessed with each other, you still made an effort to think of reasons to discourage him. Zukoâs not sure if he finds it endearing or a little worrying or if, at the end of the day, you only liked the idea of him and now that he was too close, it was time to find the next best thing around. Maybe Toph. You sure seemed to be more comfortable around her.
He writes something on his phone and your screen lights up with the notification of a new message. He covers the screen, so that you canât read right now.
âAnswer me tomorrow. The headache will be a pain in the ass but youâll be sobered up and clear-headed.â You nod, putting your phone away to not even glance at the text.
The backseat of the car is dark and even though three people could normally fit there, it doesn't seem like enough space for the two of you. Probably because you were afraid of letting your skin be provoked with the idea of touching him; you tried it at the bar and not only felt like a shock, it also made you feel like you were burning up a fever all over. He had tensed up earlier when you came close, but he could only pray that your drunkenness at the time had let that go unnoticed. While you burned, he was the one about to start a fire with how his blood boiled under the skin. The lack of lighting helped to disguise how flushed he was, but it didn't help much more, because now that there was no talking to distract him, Zuko felt very conscious of the fact that despite the driver being right there, he still wanted to kiss you.
He wanted to kiss you earlier at the bar counter, when you looked at him as if expecting him to do it and he didn't have the heart to simply lean in and realize he actually had gotten it all wrong and confirming you were not interested. He wanted to kiss you and had not stopped thinking about it even after returning to the table, when you hardly looked back at him. He heard you talking to the others and Toph and clung onto the few words you two exchanged, wondering if your words were everything he was going to get out of you, or maybe if he wished for it hard enough, he could be clinging to your lips eventually.
It was not on purpose. Zuko said to himself, at least, that it was not on purpose that you outstretched your hand and leaned over him to open the window instead of simply asking him. He didn't care if it was calculated to push him around the edge or not, because one way or another, it was exactly what he needed to take the first step. The way you moved, as if not caring that he was on your way, seemed so automatic that when you noticed what you did, your body froze and you looked at him. There was the silence filled with all those things you couldnât say out loud and that look, the one that he thought to have misread earlier but told him to just take what he wanted because you wanted it too. That look on your wide and watery eyes, as if you were about to cry at any moment if he let you go without finally closing the distance between the two of you and pressing his lips to yours. You don't move away. It takes a while and you don't move away, so how exactly can he? He doesn't. He doesn't want to.
Thereâs a hunger on his lips that is to die for when his hand finds the side of your face before leaning in and letting himself go. Your arm falls briefly before you can get over the initial startle to reciprocate the kiss, letting your fingers run up to the burn mark, your thumb caressing the skin there when you pressed yourself against him even harder; for a moment he thought you would end the kiss, but the sudden touch along with your lips parting so that he could slide his tongue into your mouth was a nice surprise. Zuko realizes three things when he kisses you: first, he is fucked if you wake up tomorrow and changes your mind; second, youâre still in the backseat of a car and the noise he just heard you make is borderline indecent; and third, not only he doesn't want to stop, but he wants to do it again. He wants to kiss you till youâre out of it. He wants you all to himself and when the car stops at your house and he knows that itâs over for today, the frustrated groan you hear tells you that your arrival home is not disappointing only to you.
When the driver clears his throat to remind you to leave, you chuckle awkwardly before kissing Zuko on the cheek and leaving in a hurry, once you overcome the difficulty of moving away at first. There is a type of hunger that never goes out and that one kiss revealed it to you, passed like a contagious disease through his lips; the hunger that could never be satisfied even when fed was one that kept growing until no amount was ever enough to make it go away. You felt it now. You were going to feel it forever.
Tonight, you were going to lay down on your bed and think about what couldâve happened if you just asked him to go home with you. You were going to close your eyes and dread the idea that it was all a dream, because you felt like walking on clouds right now. You were going to feel the ghost of his lips pressed up to yours and wait for your sleep, because when you woke up the other day, you would be able to answer his message and be sure of it. That you wanted him in the same way and that you would love to go out with him any day now.
Come to the movies with me. I promise we don't have to talk until it ends.
















