#fitzgerald

Tomarang and roses 💐

I want to believe

Morning feeling at 5pm after spending the night reading txf fanfics, watching a beautiful sunrise at 5am and dragging myself to bed at almost 8am… I also tried to doodle a little bit (unsuccessfully, that’s what happens when you don’t draw for years because your full-time day job and being a single mother come in your way – but HELL; does he have a difficult face). I will try again.

Thinking about the sequitur (or perhaps premise? Now HERE we have an ouroboros 😊) of my reflection on Scully’s and Mulder’s absolute integrity. Uprightness can be mistaken for mental rigidity. But it’s not, I think, as long as it’s not self-righteousness. Because the intellectual, emotional essence of every thinking, intelligent person is to doubt. NEVER to doubt is self-righteousness. And doubt, in the shape of openness to new ideas, is also what characterises M&S’s relationship and their innate trust in each other. Yes, they believe in their beliefs, but they’re willing to entertain their partner’s theories and that’s what makes them work so well together. They both come to question more and more what is right, because truth is complicated, it's shades. Especially Mulder at times can come across as incredibly convinced of his ideas but what I REALLY love it what stands at the base of his convictions: his poster (and the sentence both he and Scully keep repeating, what essentially became the show’s motto) is I WANT TO BELIEVE. Not I believe, but I want to believe. That leaves so much room for openness, curiosity, readiness to be contradicted, willingness to learn.

Also. Of course there are universal truths like Nazis are fuckheads. No trace of a doubt here.