Pilot Mulder is so angry, so reactive and suspicious of everyone's motives. He's like a gentle-natured dog that's been beaten a few too many times, who thinks if he barks enough he can ward off any future pain that might come his way. He doesn't like it though, it's contrary to his nature, and so it's beautiful how quickly he softens towards Scully simply because she listens, she doesn't dismiss him right away. But what I think is key to their relationship is the fact that she doesn't back down when he snaps at her, when he accuses her of being a plant. She turns it back on him, she stands up for herself. It's glorious.
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One of the things I think The X-Files challenges (and we can debate all day how intentional it was) is the idea that stories have to be satisfying to be good, or that things have to āmake sense.ā A lot of times I see people come away from certain episodes baffled or frustrated. āItās convoluted! Itās confusing! Nothing was resolved!ā And like yes this is a byproduct of how TV used to be made but also itās part of the showās thesis. Sometimes you donāt find the answers. Sometimes you think youāre looking at something and it turns out to be something else. Sometimes you never get closure, or you take two steps forward and three steps back. Sometimes youāre actively obstructed in whatever mission youāre on, and you have to turn tail and go home. Rinse and repeat the next day. I know we look to stories to be satisfying where our lives arenāt, but The X-Files didnāt end up being one of those stories. And thatās okay. Itās good, actually. Itās okay to not have all the answers, because no one does.
One of the major changes between TXF early and later seasons was the attempt to write the considerable height difference between Mulder and Scully into non-existence. We see it very rarely later on. I know that the Scully box is a beloved topic of discussion, and I know it was used to avoid odd framing (and, I am sure, other technical issues). Still, I thought it was a loss in terms of their dynamics.
The way we perceive our bodies and ourselves in space ā and, how others perceive us ā is strictly related to how tall or petite we are. My best friend is 1.97 m tall (6.46 feet, an online calculator tells me) and he is always perceived as strong, self-confident, a person you rely on, someone you instinctively respect ā all the more since heās a man. But heās never seen as the vulnerable, very sensitive guy he is.
So, Mulder being so much taller than Scully would play a role in their relationship. I think it both increased his wish to protect her but also his respect for her ā the fact that a tiny person could be so much stronger, fiercer, quicker, more self-assured than her stature would suggest. Because sheād have had to fight for it, it wasnāt something others would acknowledge freely, without her having to prove it first. Especially as a woman.
Also, I simply find their height difference endearing, aesthetically beautiful. I wish the showās responsibles would have kept it apparent. She was mostly wearing high heels anyway. (And wouldnāt it have been heartbreakingly sweet to see them trying to find a way to kiss each other without it being completely awkward in the hallway scene or in the final scene of āExistenceā?)
hi! i saw your post about mulderās attachment style and was wondering what you think of scullyās attachment style and how these styles might interact in positive and negative aspects of the msr relationship dynamics?
omgggg what a fun question, thank you š„¹
okay, so this post is what the ask is referring to and also has my disclaimers about attachment style.
SO. Scully. My girl. The very picture of an avoidant attachment. But I think the second part of your question is what makes this so fun to answer, because as I said in the Mulder post, you can 1) have different attachment styles in different relationships and 2) develop over the years to become more secure (or insecure) in your attachments overall depending on what your relationships are like. And what I love about Scully and Mulder together is that they truly give each other the corrective emotional experience they need to eventually form a secure attachment with one another.
I can't speak to the research (I'm sure there's some, I just haven't read it), but in my personal experience as a therapist, avoidant attachments are particularly common in children who were parentified and/or neglected. and that makes senseāif you can't trust someone to meet your needs or you are given an age-inappropriate amount of authority, depending on or trusting other people is not going to feel safe or smart. and while Scully didn't experience an abusive level of neglect, I would argue that she grew up in a relatively neglectful household (at least emotionally) based on 1) what we know about her father and his role in the navy and 2) Maggie's behavior throughout the show.
there are a few examples that come to mind for me, but the key one is Maggie's response to Scully's cancer. I want to be clear that I understand the response and recognize that of course she would be hurt and upset; however, I also want to discuss what her response does from an attachment perspective. Although Scully is an adult now, this is an example of what parentification might have looked like as Scully grew up. Maggie is overtaken by her emotions (we also see this in Beyond the Sea) and Scully takes on the role of comforting Maggie, which leaves no room for Scully's feelings. This is an inappropriate role reversal; what should be happening is the adult/parent manages and regulates their emotions enough that the child does not feel responsible for those emotions. A secure attachment figure would have the capacity to act as a container for big emotions, helping the child make sense of their emotions without the emotions becoming too big or uncontrollable. if an adult can't manage their own emotions, it can undermine feelings of safety in the child, because what they are learning is that their adult isn't going to be capable of helping them, so they have to do it themselves and may even have to take on the role of comforting the adult.
of course this is very nuanced and not something i can adequately cover in a single tumblr post, but I do just want to be clear that I'm not saying adults can't have emotionsāit's important for kids to see adults experience their emotions so they can learn empathy, their own emotional regulation, and other skills. but what I am talking about is an adult whose emotions overtake them to the point that the child feels like they need to shut down their own emotions and/or need to take responsibility for their parent's emotions, which we see in Memento Mori (and Beyond the Sea, to a lesser extent).
so, while Maggie and Bill weren't abusive parents, the combination of Maggie's emotion regulation and Bill being in the Navy created an environment that could not or would not tolerate Scully's emotions. and in a sense, what we see in her and Mulder are two different responses to the same situation (emotionally unavailable parents).
now, here's something fun ā avoidant (Scully) and anxious (Mulder) is one of the hardest combinations to work with because what one person needs is the exact thing that the other person runs away from (anxious person wants reassurance -> gets more anxious and clingy -> avoidant person becomes more avoidant -> anxious person becomes more anxious because their person is being avoidant -> avoidant person becomes even more avoidant because of the anxiety -> on and on and on). but what's interesting is that I think Mulder in particular has enough awareness and emotional fluency that he is able to manage his own emotions well enough to at least keep Scully from running. I think part of that is what I spoke about in the Mulder post, about how his upbringing probably tempered some of his anxious attachment behaviors. so even though I do think Mulder is predisposed to an anxious attachment, he also has more emotional regulation skills than Scully and grew up in an environment that would have encouraged avoidance, and I think that's what allows him to withdraw when he needs to in order to keep Scully from shutting down.
and i think what's so beautiful about msr is that, as unlikely as it is, they eventually find their way to a secure attachment with one another. this happens with each corrective emotional experience where the negative assumption they have about the relationship is proven wrongāi.e., every time their attachment felt threatened but their relationship didn't end. i truly believe that they learn how to love each other over the course of the series. for example, Mulder calms down and settles into their love and life together and Scully becomes less skittish and learns to trust him with her emotions. their relationship is an example of how attachment styles can change over time or within relationships, and we see how hard that was for both of them during the show (we watch them try to figure it out for years). but their love for one another at every stage of their relationship (platonic or romantic) is the constant; it's the reason they don't bolt the first time their attachment styles clash. and it represents one of my own reasons whyāthe understanding of how powerful a single loving relationship can be in someone's life.
this could go on forever but hopefully that answers at least some of it... i'd love to know your thoughts!
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we talk a lot about āi may not believe in god but i believe in youā but not enough about ālet me curse god for a whileā because thatās mulderās way of saying heās there to unburden scully, to really listen to her, to share her pain, to learn about her worries and take them from her to himself, and, more importantly, to be the bearer of a shaken faith so she can keep hers intact š
The way Mulderās belief makes the other men in this show treat him like a āhystericalā woman. Because Scully is rational TO A FAULT. And her brother still has never taken her concerns, ESPECIALLY about her own body and health seriously. And when she is simply describing her experience he immediately puts her in the āspookyā category. This woman doing DNA analysis is basically the same as a man screaming about UFOs.
Which is one of the reasons why MSR is so great. They respect each other in this deep and profound way. They care about how the other one thinks. They can come to different conclusions but trust each other so deeply. And as an audience member is really seems like this is not a respect Scully has been afforded in her whole life!
The contrast between the way Mulder and Scully act whenever they have to rescue the other one from something is amazing.
Because Scully immediately goes into hyper-competent mode. Like she has A PLAN and she is going to do the plan and to hell with anyone who is going to stop her. Everything by the book about her goes away and sheās just like nope we are doing everything this way if you get in my way I will end you. I am very worried but I refuse to let my emotions influence my plan unless I am using them to scare the shit out of bad guys. I am short and full of rage and I am the only person with the smarts to pull this off. Do not stop me.
And then Mulder just likeā¦descends into pure chaos. He will either snap and nearly kill someone or he will descend into a puddle of tears on the floor. There is very little in between. He has not slept in a week. He has not had a coherent thought beyond the need to save her. There is no plan just him racing blindly into the darkness because there is nothing in him beyond the need to get her back. And yes to hell with everyone who tries to stop him but in a way thatās tinged with so much grief and unpredictability thatās itās just as terrifying to us as it is to the people around him.
