#firsttripout

It’s been a little over 2 years now that I have ventured out into a shop to browse its shelves. Everything just seemed to fall into place, over the bank holiday weekend,

So, armed with a mask and visor, I went into the shops for the first time, and I couldn’t have been prouder of myself. On walking into the shop in a busy retail park, my eyes caught the attention of another shopper like me who was also wearing a mask, but without the visor. I didn’t feel I was in any danger, I didn’t feel people’s eyes peering, it all feels normalised now.

I did go out for a walk a couple of hours later thinking this is great, how I love the freedom and I can do this, but that didn’t go according to plan, because half way into the walk, I started to feel really poorly. What I didn’t realise was, I was having a panic attack, I couldn’t breath, was bent double and had severe pain around my abdomen.

I managed to make my way back to the house slowly; but it took 6 hours for me to recover. The next day I felt sore. I need to remember it has to be small steps. Anything else for me, just doesn’t work.

With the virus, if more of us thought along the lines that restrictions are lifted, there is no cure presently, taking any precautionary measures has to be better than none, more people would stick with the measures, stay protected and cases would lessen. Although there are less deaths with Omicron, an everlasting cold without an expiry date isn’t great either, and you’re keeping you, your loved ones and vulnerable people safe.

My old life is gone. I can’t go to theatres, restaurants, coffee bars or pubs (public houses). I used to go to have a pedicure and manicure, but that’s gone. I can’t meet up with friends unless the meet up takes place outside. When the weather gets better, I can go out to parks masked up, and maybe blow caution to the wind and go to a coffee bar or restaurant, to sit outside continuing with the precautionary measures. The virus isn’t finished. The country behaving like it is, is making the virus more widespread.

Whilst none of it is ideal, I’m not keen on the idea of being a hermit forever. That’s causing my anxiety to get worse and is keeping me stuck.