They’re a ~cultural reset, cause if a ship:

doesn’t time travel to find each other,

and they don’t cheat death itself,

and they don’t save each other,

and they don’t pretend to be engaged while undercover,

and they don’t kiss for the first time while time looping,

and they don’t steal a quinjet to go to space,

and they’re not comicbook worthy,

(This is mostly character description, sorry. Go check out @write-it-motherfuckers, it’s their prompts that are responsible for me making the characters!)

The storm continued to rage outside. I tried not to stare at my characters.

How the fuck were they real?

Malum and Haley were sat on the floor, wrapped up in my old comforter. All our other blankets were too small for the both of them to be wrapped in at once, so for the first time in months my trusty comforter got some use. 

Malum was huge. I imagined him a being so, of course, but to actually see it...he was very intimidating. He was well over six feet tall, and though he didn’t have crazy muscles he just gave off an aura of ‘I could crush you with one pat on the head if I liked,” kind of strength. But his eyes, dark brown with some orange peeking through, were soft with love when he looked at Haley. 

My love of the gentle giant trope definitely showed with him.

Haley had her head resting on his shoulder. Her light brown hair fell into her face. She kept brushing it behind her ears, but it kept escaping. I grabbed a ponytail holder and leaned over from my spot on the couch. “Here. I know how annoying long hair can be.”

She smiled and, after managing to get her arm out of the sea of comforter, took it. “Thank you.” Her eyes were brown too, a nice warm brown. She put her hair up and snuggled closer to Malum. “It’s so cold in here.”

I tugged my own blanket tighter around me. “I know. I freeze in seventy degree weather, this is a nightmare.”

She laughed. “Me too. I hate the cold.”

“It isn’t that cold,” Evelyn said. She didn’t have a blanket. 

‘The forest you and your mom are from is literally freezing cold. There’s no sun. No shit you don’t think it’s cold,’ I thought. 

Huh. When did I decide that the forest was freezing?

Her hair was all black, except for a faint blue tint at the ends. Was that because of her magic? Probably. Her eyes were a very bright blue. Almost glowing. But she was in human form, so they weren’t actually glowing. She arched her eyebrow. “Uh, you’re staring.”

Crap. “Sorry. I just like your hair,” I covered. “I dyed mine purple a couple times.”

“Huh? Oh! The blue! Uh, thanks.”

“I wanted to dye my hair once. Then I read Anne of Green Gables and the part where she accidentally dyed her hair green made me decide not to,” Ashlyn said from the kitchen. She and Carter were making themselves some hot chocolate. 

“I like your hair,” I said. It was a natural bright red. She had it in a ponytail, a very messy one. Bits and strands had escaped and were now pushed behind her ears, while other strands simply floated around her head enjoying their freedom. “It kinda reminds me of Anne’s.”

She poured some peppermint creamer into her coco. “Thanks! Wait, Anne hated her hair.”

“Yeah, but I thought it looked nice on the cover of my copy.”

Carter sprinkled some cinnamon on his hot coco with a flourish. He somehow didn’t get it all over the counter while doing so. The perks of being a god, I guess. “Her hair fits perfectly with her personality, I think.” He smirked. “Messy and in your face. Or rather, her face.” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and Carter sipped his drink.

His outfit was by far the most...unusual. 

Ashlyn wore a simple gray hoodie, a pale pink shirt, and jeans. Evelyn wore black ripped jeans (which I was slightly jealous of) and a leather jacket over a dark purple shirt, with a silver-chain necklace that had a small sapphire pendant. Malum just had a long-sleeved red t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Haley had a plain light green shirt and blue jeans.

But Carter.

Carter wasn’t just wearing clothes. He was trying to put on a show.

Carter wore a suit, but not a normal suit. The jacket and pants were a soft yellow, almost pastel. His tie was a similarly pastel orange, the undershirt just plain white. He even had a hat, same color as his jacket and pants. It was like a...like a short top hat. He was trying to look classy, that was clear, though his hair didn’t seem to know that. His black hair was just a little bit too long to coincide with the attempt at class, reaching just below his ears in a slightly unkempt way. His eyes were golden brown and just shined with mischief. 

I would have found all the pastel off-putting. But his skin was a shade similar to milk chocolate and a nice contrast. Somehow he made the outfit work very well. He looked inside the fridge. “No whipped cream?”

“No, sorry.”

“A shame. Hot chocolate is always better with whipped cream.”

For a moment no-one talked. Then Evelyn stood up. “Hey, is there somewhere where me and my uh...group, can talk privately?”

I shrugged. “The bathroom? This isn’t a super big place.”

“Good enough. Come on...guys.” She seemed uncomfortable addressing the others so casually. Come to think of it, how did they even end up in a group together? I never wrote them knowing each other.

They all went to the bathroom on the “far” side of the apartment and shut the door. And they started talking.

And somehow, I knew what they were saying.

User Thaddeus_Rules_Germany said:

Hey guys? The news is saying that I should “bow down to the ringleader” and instead of the president they showed what looks like a stock image of a circus ringleader? Did this actually happen or am I just going insane?

User Olive_Oyl_Sux replied:

No, I saw it too. It came on right after the announcement that Japan became an oligopoly ruled by the most attractive individuals. It’s apparently been a weird night.

User yellow_anonymous replied:

yeah, i didn’t believe it either. turns out it actually happened. d’ya think the ringleader had something to do with that whole scandal about the FBI running that brothel full of aliens from Triton?

User Thaddeus_Rules_Germany replied: