#fic rant

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

Carcar on the brink of divorce when one of them switches places with their past self. Before they were married. The time when they were both newly in love yet hesitant to confess because of how much they meant to each other and how much they would be risking.

Maybe it's Carlos realising how difficult it was for Oscar to meet and win over his family. Realising how young Oscar was, how much he risked just to be with Carlos.

Maybe it's Oscar, seeing how Carlos fought with his family for Oscar's sake. How he left behind his old beliefs, changed so much of his life to make space for Oscar.

A young Carlos coming to the future, stunned at the prospect of having a husband. Of his family knowing and being happy for him.

Or a young Oscar seeing he is married to someone who understands his silence. Who would not ask him to change or compromise his principles. Someone who appreciates him for who he is.

as a girl i know in my youth i was expected to cook and clean and tend for the men in my life. as a girl, i looked at my girl body and the bodies of girls around me. I compared, analyzed, measured under the guise of jealousy at the same time i watched with desire soaked in shame. i loved, and hated myself for it. (so much so i’ve grown into the shape of shame and still to this day deny myself the human condition of being in love. )

i look at a female version of yoshiki and see myself in her. i look at a female version of hikaru(both) and see a manifestation of intangible desire and love.

a female yoshiki would still dream of tokyo. modern, far away, and so big she can stretch her limbs out and not feel suffocated. she could listen to girl groups without her family members scoffing at their frilly short skirts and girlish mannerisms. a female hikaru wouldn’t say much about tokyo, not when she was expected to marry out of highschool. but maybe she’d chat alongside her about it.

i imagine that hikaru would be the more popular of the two.(this is from the extras that show hikaru getting way more valentines than yoshiki) her sunny demeanor would be attractive to her male classmates, who think she’d be “super cute if she wore her hair down”. or “she stays careful not to be in the sun too long.”

she’s terrified of horror movies, which guys find cute. she’s a bit too outspoken, so maybe she just needs to grow up a bit first before she settles down to marry.

yoshiki would be the less attractive of the two. at first glance her dark hair, pale skin and quiet demeanor could be considered attractive until her stomach pains become well known as stemming from something else, and her timidity is seen for its awkwardness. by then, she’d be nagged by the older women in the village with medicines and charms that promote fertility and ovary health. she’d be told she’d be cuter if she was more sociable. she’d be encouraged to tend to her father and her little brother before indulging in her bug fixation. a girl version of yoshiki couldn’t have the time to hide in her room, because she’d be too busy cleaning the house or prepping dinner when her mom is out.

and of course, when hikaru and yoshiki would ditch school before hikaru went to the mountains— they’d stop by a nearby stream. hikaru would undress, comfortable with her fellow girl while yoshiki is weighed down with self-disgust when her eyes stray too close to dangerous territory. that creep, monster feeling would come back. it’d keep her awkward and stiff when hikaru would come in for a hug, because girls are naturally more touchy than guys . hikaru hugs other girls, too, but none as tightly as she hugs yoshiki.

she’s attached to yoshiki, sure.

// (au masterpost) || Fic rant(?) / rambles below the cut

Every fic, every fanart, every fanvid, fanpod, podfic, gifset, shitpost, meta post, essay, share and/or reblog holds exactly the same weight and value because they are all gifts. The creative gifts you their transformative work, and you respond in kind with your own gift—a like, a comment, a silent reblog, a reblog with tags, a bookmark, a kudos, a recommendation post, etc. etc. the list quite literally goes on and on. Sometimes the gift is a literal gift of a fic for a fic, art for a fic, fic for art, art for art, etc. but it doesn’t always have to be and that’s what’s brilliant about being in a fandom.

One-shots are not any less valuable than a multi-chapter fic, just as a multi-chapter fic with 1K words or less per chapter is not any less valuable than ones with 7-10K words. The fic last updated in 2013 and ended on a cliffhanger is just as important as the fic last updated today and posting on a consistent schedule.

If you’re skipping out on one-shots, or incomplete stories, because you want to only read long, finished works then frankly you are starving not only yourself of some incredible gifts but also your fandom’s economy. Fic authors do not owe you a 50/50 250,000K word fic if the story that they can tell wraps itself up nicely in a 5k short story format. In fact, the fic author who is dreaming up a 50 chapter fic doesn’t even owe you all 50 chapters!

We create gifts for other fans to enjoy because we love the media we create for and we want to share that love with others. I love writing one-shots because some of my favorite works of fiction are SF short stories/novellas. I will also always read a fic last updated in 2018 (and if I love it I’ll put it on my recommended fic list for other people to find and read it too) because the story that author made can be just as riveting as a story with a conclusion.

doesnt help that one piece, to me, is already really good and I feel like writing a crossover fic like this is a bit pointless, or that I've never written a crossover before... or that the concept, tho gripping my brain, isnt grabbing me like it should??? idk im trying to come up with a different way to go about this and its driving me a bit nuts rn.