#femphobia

Bipoc Butches + Studs: Hey so this is really fucked

I don't really revere elders unless I consider them my family. Most people older than me that I've met are so... I've had 7-yo students behaving better than them.

Older queer people are still human, and just like any humans, sometimes they suck and don't deserve respect. Sometimes they're bigoted, racist, most of them are also Femphobic (if it's a book that's not by BIPOC and/or trans persons, trust me you're gonna find a level of Femphobia in there).

One thing I learned, and this is my own experience, is that it doesn't matter to me. I have met people pushing and well past their 30s behaving very childish and no spine. The butches I keep talking about—who were microaggressive, petulant, femphobic, anti-black—some of them are well in their 30s and most (including the ones in their mid 20s) even have big platforms on tumblr. There's older femmes who kept leaving asks, insulting me and being very... emotional.

> five minutes later

Ever notice how some compliments and “advice” come with hidden rules—depending on your gender?

For girls:

“You’re pretty for a girl who codes.”

“You’re so strong… for a woman.”

“You’re not like other girls.”

For boys:

“Don’t cry—it’s not manly.”

“Be tough, don’t show weakness.”

“Real men don’t wear pink"

Stop. Just stop.

These aren’t compliments or advice, they’re cages. Tiny reminders that femininity and masculinity have limits, that some paths aren’t “really for you” depending on your gender.

Why is coding a “boy thing”? Why is strength a surprise in women? Why is gentleness a weakness in men? Why does society applaud anyone only when they fit a safe stereotype?

here's a repost from my private of smth i think is important now that the MLM flag is on the chopping block

here is some info on femphobia and it's history in the community for those of you who aren't familiar or don't think it exists ( xxx yyy zzz aaa )

here's a chart on the history of all the flags mentioned for those under false impressions