#femmephobia

being bisexual

being attracted to fem(me)s

not being attracted to butches and mascs

being trans, nonbinary or genderqueer

not identifying as a woman

being multigender/genderfluid and/or identifying as a man/achillean

not presenting your gender in a certain way (there is no one way to be femme!)

being a domme, top, switch or vers

things that do undermine your femme identity:

butchphobia

not supporting fat, BIPOC and disabled butches

being misoginystic towards fem peers (unhealthily projecting internalised femmephobia)

believing all lesbians* must identify as women

believing all lesbians* must be cis women

believing all lesbians* must be fem

believing all lesbians must be exclusively attracted to the above archetypes (fem, cis, woman-identifying)

declaring butches are universally unattractive (this is abbhorent mean girl behaviour)

believing queer men and achilleans can’t perform butchfemme (this is racist as butchfemme was coined by mixed-gender BIPOC ballroom culture)

phobia towards he/him lesbians*, transmasc lesbians*, lesbian* boyfriends/husbands

phobia towards nonbinary and genderqueer lesbians* or seeing them as “women lite”

claiming butches or masc lesbians* can’t be trans men or multigender/genderfluid

by extension, claiming lesbians can’t be bisexual (ie spreading ahistorical disinformation about bi/mspec lesbian identities and how instrumental they are to butchfemme)

forcing the butch label onto trans men who don’t wish to identify that way anymore

believing trans men who are attracted to women are just confused/brainwashed cis lesbians (this is wildly transphobic)

phobia against transfemme peers

phobia against transfem butches/mascs

unsolicitedly lamenting how you feel “oppressed” (you’re not) due to your genital preference or the mere existence of transfem lesbians* (ie thinly veiled transphobia)

phobia against bi butches and femmes

believing that anyone with some capacity for attraction to men is automatically “men centered” and can’t perform queer femininity like a true femme (this is femmephobia based in slut shaming)

believing that butchness is invalidated by any capacity of attraction to men (again, bimisoginystic purity culture—you don’t get to “own” a butch’s sexuality just because you’re a femme)

gatekeeping the term “dyke” from other sapphics that you don’t think are lesbian enough

believing other sapphics are less queer than exclusive lesbians, or having stricter standards (*cough* gatekeeping) for mythical “exclusive lesbian spaces”, who gets to identify as a lesbian, and whom lesbians are attracted to

believing real lesbians are only the people who look like you and people you’re attracted to

having strict standards for how all butches and femmes should present (this is easily racist)

not accepting that many ethnic cultures may have different queer gender dynamics that don’t equate to butchfemme even if they look similar (don’t be racist and xenophobic!)

believing butchfemme is only a western phenomenon that is only “mimicked” in other (especially non English speaking) countries (western queer people aren’t uniquely enlightened, they do not own queer gender dynamics and butchfemme was created by BIPOC in the first place—gatekeeping from the rest of the world is colonial)

believing only femme4butch is valid, or that all butches and femmes must have at least some attraction for the other group (this is ahistorical as well as plain intrusive)

believing in universal strict butchfemme gender and/or intimacy roles

dismissing pillow princesses, high femmes and stone bottoms as “lazy” or not really sapphic

believing a bi pillow princess, high femme or stone bottom is actually just straight, and only wants to use other sapphics to get off (straight women aren’t necessarily naturally bottoms anyway! this is so misogynistic and bioessentialist)

dismissing stone tops and butches as “broken”

believing sapphics on the asexual/aromantic spectrums don’t feel actual queer attraction and that queerplatonic couples actually just want to be friends

Judging and policing sexual, romantic and partnership preferences, period

believing all bi sapphics want to treat butches like they’re cis men (this sort of bad behaviour is far from exclusive to bisexuals; those of us with healthy relationship habits are actually affectionate and validating towards our cis men partners as well and it’s no different when we date non cis men but that’s another conversation)

believing all butches must want to be treated like “princesses” or “babygirls” (rather than emphasizing personal preference)

alternatively, treating butches and mascs like “men lite” when they don’t welcome that

treating butches badly (in relationships or socially) based on their butchness

believing butchfemme is heteronormative and not true lesbianism*

conversely, romanticising butchfemme to the point of not bothering to engage with critique about how the culture may mirror and enforce heteropatriarchal gender dynamics if we’re not careful to remember it should be about embracing authentic identities and desires rather than fitting into boxes

not caring about or being completely uninvolved in diverse queer culture, intersectional coalition, or sociopolitical activism

Femmes are meant to be protectors for the rest of the community—especially towards peers who don’t share our privileges. Hope this helps and have fun living your best femme life! 🌸 🎀

Keng can stay right were he is and those people can go and stay mad. No one is forcing them to watch things they don't like.

I got nothing else to add since this whole thread already says enough

This post was created after reading this. It's not an attack to OP obviously, but I think we need to change—maybe revolutionize how we see and talk about femmeness.

We definitely need to move past the "femme as in lover and protector of butches". This is not to say that we shouldn't help or be in community with butches—we should. But it's about time we center ourselves in our identity, and curate femmeness around what it means to us—not just our usefulness and accessibility to butches, studs and MoC.

We are not secondary, we are not just here for butches. We are here because we have shared history, but that doesn't mean that our femmeness revolves around them. It's not—and if a lot of you read femme history, it was never supposed to be.

A friend of mine wrote a post on High Femme and how historically, it was related to the self more than relationships dynamic. You can read it here.

Especially as BIPOC femmes, our BIPOC "virtues" are often determined by how useful we are in the community. It's tiring. It's overused—frankly, it's unsustainable on the self. When you curate your identity around external parties, it loses its significance.

And something was scary and hit me like a truck😭

For the record, I’m a girl that loves all things femininity, I struggle with hyperfemininity because I’m (at times) naturally so (overly) empathetic and it sucks as it makes me feel so goddamn terrible.

This is why I feel so bad for People with BBD (who look at things about themselves, regardless of body part and practically suffer with it) and those with gender disphoria or identify as Trans (those who feel incongruent with their gender)

I think I completely missed over the part. Where imma be honest,

I relate to is more is (her) his Femmephobia In a Sense because regardless if (s)he’s trans or not,

Femmephobia is such a sad thing to have (which can affect all genders)

I think I forget why it’s important to really address the big elephant in the room. Which is this terrifying concept. Because does only does it affect everyone. But it’s a frigtning reminder of how much people downplay how powerful and scary femininity can be.

And I don’t mean that in a positive way.

You understand why mother nature is ruthless and that’s why I’m like “doesn’t matter what the fuck someone is. Everyone is connected to Mother Nature and if you fuck around and find out, then God bless you, you’ll need it”

It’s the personal belief of mine, that Toxic femininity is the most scary part out there because you never know when that narcissist will break down on you and she hunts you down.

Many people overlook women in crime anyway simply because it’s a sexist idea that a women couldn’t do anything as scary or abhorrent as a man. Same bloodshed, same treatment, same crime and yet less time in prison.

I love my girls. I love anyone.

But Not to mention, I always had a Fear of BBD and because of my perfectionism, I feel so bad when girls constantly have to put on make up just to feel good. Always asking if their beautiful on the outside when my heart screams that their beautiful in the inside. Guys go through this too, constantly checking themselves and assuring that this part of themselves that they feel inferior is just extremely sad. I believe it’s important to talk about this, Because then it helps so many people to come and accept many things. To see things differently.

Femininity and Masculinity are interconnected and a blessing. A gift. Don’t hide it, don’t suppress neither part. You need them for your soul.

I mourn with this fact and I probably always will.

It’s all I can do because I believe it important for us to talk about it, and show it in media. Regardless if someone is LGBTQ+ or Not.

Do you think Jax (regardless if [s]he is trans or not) has suffered from this?? Do you think Jax has these beliefs??

Is that why you guys are confused?? Because of the stories ties to Femmephobia and my goodness, does that make me sick in the gut.

buckle up. this one's personal and it's long and I need you to read the whole thing.

trigger warnings: transphobia, transandrophobia, medical discrimination, femmephobia, discussion of violence against trans people, misgendering, erasure, suicide statistics

I'm transmasc. Transmasc non-binary, specifically. And one of the most consistent experiences of my life has been the particular exhaustion of existing in a world that has decided, mostly without consulting me, that I either don't exist or don't count.

Not in the way that trans women face violence and hypervisibility and constant public hatred—I want to be clear that I'm not making a competition out of this, and transmisogyny is real and brutal and a separate conversation. But there is a specific, grinding, well-documented form of erasure that transmasculine people experience that doesn't get talked about with the same seriousness, and I want to lay it out properly.

the visibility gap: what the data actually says

Trans discourse—in media, in activism, in public conversation—centers transfeminine people. That centering has real reasons behind it: trans women, especially trans women of color, face catastrophic rates of violence and murder and are targeted by an enormous amount of political and cultural hostility. That's real and it matters.

But the effect is that transmasculine people—trans men, transmasc nonbinary people, gender nonconforming AFAB people—become functionally invisible in the very spaces that are supposed to represent us.

A 2021 study published in Participations: Journal of Audience and Reception Studies examined how transmasculine people engage with screen representation and found that transmasculine characters, when they exist at all, are overwhelmingly secondary. The study's framework draws on George Gerbner's concept of symbolic annihilation—the idea that when a group is consistently absent, underrepresented, or trivialized in media, the cultural message is that they don't exist, or that their existence doesn't matter. [¹] One participant summed it up precisely: "I tell people I'm trans, and their impression of me is... like... you're still a woman. It's a dis-acknowledgement of me because it's not a real thing." [¹]

Another participant in the same study noted that while Laverne Cox is a prominent trans character in Orange is the New Black, every transmasculine character the groups were shown was secondary—background, supporting, a detail in someone else's story. [¹] The study concluded that transmasculine individuals consistently practice disidentification with media characters because the representations that exist don't reflect them, and the absence of representations that do has real effects on how they understand their own masculinities and gender identities outside of media contexts. [¹]

A 2019 review of transgender representation in media published in PMC found that media representation of trans people operates on "a binary logic" that includes the systematic erasure of trans men as a category. [²] The representation that does exist skews heavily toward a medicalized, transition-focused narrative that erases trans people who don't follow a specific binary trajectory—and since transmasculine people are already less represented, the transmasculine people who *are* represented are overwhelmingly the ones who fit the most legible, hypermasculine, medically-transitioning template. [²]

femmephobia and the hypermasculinity trap

Here's one of the specific mechanisms driving transmasc invisibility that doesn't get discussed enough: femmephobia.

Femmephobia—the cultural devaluation and hostility toward femininity as an expression and identity—was named by Julia Serano in her 2007 book Whipping Girl. [³] When it fuses with transphobia in transmasculine spaces and in broader culture, it creates a specific trap: transmasculine people are only legible as "real" if they perform a sufficiently masculine gender presentation. Transmasc people who are femme, androgynous, soft, or who don't conform to a hypermasculine presentation get told—by cisgender people, by other trans people—that they're not really trans, that they're "transtrenders," that they're "just cis women pretending." [⁴]

A CUNY thesis examining femmephobia's impact on transmasculine people found that femme and androgynous transmasc people face a double bind: they don't "pass" in the way a hypermasculine trans man might, so they're not "clocked" as trans by cisgender people—meaning their transness becomes invisible in mainstream contexts—but within trans spaces, their femininity makes them targets of policing. [⁴] One subject described being attacked online, accused of making a "mockery" of transmasculine people, and told by another trans person: "We're just cis women pretending to be trans for fun." [⁴]

Trans men are also held, as the same research notes, to a higher standard of masculinity than even cisgender men. [⁴] A transmasculine person who wears nail polish or makeup is read as less authentically trans than one who doesn't—a standard that no cisgender man is subjected to. The implicit message is that transmasc identity is only real when it produces a specific kind of masculinity, which is both a transphobic and a deeply misogynist position.

This also operates within activist and community spaces. There's a persistent narrative—sometimes stated outright, sometimes just structural—that transmasculine people are "safe" in a way that transfeminine people aren't, and that therefore their needs can be addressed later, after the people who are really at risk. This "more vulnerable group first" logic, as one Medium piece on anti-transmasc erasure put it, "contributes to the system that has bound thousands of transmasculine people to subsistence or survival sex work, with no recourse and little to no resources, while the general understanding says that people like them are included within groups of people who are drowning in resource and privilege." [⁵]

healthcare: where invisibility kills

Transmasculine invisibility is not just a cultural annoyance. It has measurable consequences in healthcare settings, and those consequences are serious.

The 2015 US Transgender Survey—the largest survey of transgender people in US history, with 27,715 respondents—found that one-third of transgender respondents who had seen a healthcare provider in the previous year reported at least one negative experience related to their gender identity. [⁶] That includes being refused care, being misgendered, being subjected to harsh or abusive language, and being physically rough or abusive treatment. By 2022, that number had risen: the 2022 USTS found that nearly half (48%) of trans people who saw a provider in the past year reported at least one such negative experience. [⁷]

But here's the part specific to transmasculine people: a 2020 study using USTS data found that transgender men had significantly higher odds of avoiding healthcare due to anticipated discrimination than transgender women (AOR = 1.32). [⁸] This is the invisibility problem made concrete—transmasculine people are less represented in public trans discourse, less visible in cultural conversation, and as a result healthcare providers are less prepared for them, less aware of their specific needs, and more likely to misgender or mishandle them. The result is that transmasc people avoid care at higher rates, which produces worse health outcomes.

A 2021 study in PMC specifically examining the healthcare experiences of transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people assigned female at birth found that 70.1% reported at least one negative interaction with a healthcare provider in the past year. [⁹] Those who had pursued gender-affirming care had 8.1 times the odds of reporting a negative interaction. Misgendering, inappropriate questions about gender identity, and being referred to non-affirming specialists were among the most commonly reported experiences. [⁹]

Research in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that the conflation of sex and gender in health research—using "female" to mean cisgender woman, using binary categories that erase transmasculine experiences—produces systemic erasure at the data level, meaning transmasculine health needs aren't being adequately researched, counted, or addressed in the first place. [¹⁰] If you don't collect data on a population, you can't identify their health disparities, which means you can't address them. The erasure in cultural representation maps directly onto erasure in research, which maps directly onto erasure in care.

There's also a specific healthcare nightmare that's uniquely transmasculine: the intersection of transmasculinity and reproductive healthcare. A 2022 study published in the International Journal of Transgender Health documented how transmasculine gestational parents in healthcare settings experienced what researchers called "total erasure"—having their gender denied outright by providers, being called out by incorrect names and pronouns, in some cases being told by medical professionals that they couldn't be trans because of their pregnancy. [¹¹] One participant described going to hospital during a pregnancy complication and being called by their name—only to have staff say "no you're not," denying their identity at a moment of medical vulnerability. [¹¹]

erasure within the community

I want to name this directly because it's uncomfortable: some of the most consistent sources of transmasc erasure come from within queer and trans spaces.

There's a tendency in some trans discourse to position transmasculine people as benefiting from male privilege once they pass—which both erases people who don't pass or don't want to, and misunderstands how male privilege works for someone who is also visibly trans, or who isn't visibly trans and therefore has their transness erased entirely. There's a tendency to treat AFAB nonbinary people as "basically women" or to question whether transmasculine nonbinary people are "trans enough" to belong in trans spaces. There's the "transtrender" accusation, disproportionately directed at young transmasculine people and femme transmasc people. There's the dynamic S.L. Void described in their essay on anti-transmasc erasure: the "deliberate erasure of the actual majority of trans men and transmasculine people" that "exists primarily so that violence can continue to be enacted against them behind closed doors." [⁵]

This is not a claim that transmasculine people are more oppressed than transfeminine people. It is a claim that the erasure is real, that it has real consequences, and that it is happening partly inside communities that should know better.

transandrophobia: naming what's happening

So there's a term for the specific discrimination transmasculine people face: transandrophobia. And before I explain what it means, I want to get ahead of the discourse around it, because the second you use this word in public someone will crawl out of the woodwork to tell you it's not real.

The term was coined as a deliberate alternative to "transmisandry," and that choice matters. The people who created and use it have been explicit from the start: transandrophobia is not a claim that misandry exists, that cis men are oppressed, or that trans men have it worse than trans women. Nothorses, one of the primary writers to develop the term's framework, put it plainly: "It does not imply that trans women oppress us, only that we have different experiences." [¹²] The "andro" in transandrophobia doesn't mean men-in-general the way "misandry" invokes a systemic hatred of men—it refers specifically to transmasculine people and the way cissexist society responds to us: not as women, not as men, but as something it doesn't have a category for and is uncomfortable with. [¹²]

The critique of the term—that it's an "unpaired word" because androphobia isn't a real axis of oppression—is an argument that nothorses addressed directly, and I find the response convincing: compound words don't always inherit the full meaning of their components. As one Tumblr respondent in the same thread put it, you can't break down "disaster" into "dis" and "aster" and conclude disasters aren't real. [¹³] The whole point of the compound is that you can't fully separate the "trans" from the "andro"—the discrimination transmasc people face is inseparable from our masculinity and how our masculinity reads to a cissexist world.

So what does transandrophobia actually describe? The specific, overlapping ways that transphobia, bioessentialism, and misogyny combine to produce discrimination that is uniquely targeted at transmasculine people. Some examples drawn from nothorses' primer: [¹²]

Stereotyping transmasc people as "soft" or "men lite"—as lesser men, not quite real. Treating our masculinity as performed or adopted rather than inherent. Refusing to use gendered language that actually credits our manhood—the "boi" instead of "boy" phenomenon, the softening of language around us that nobody applies to cis men. Scare resources or nonexistent resources for abuse inflicted on us, because domestic violence and sexual assault resources are built around a framework that functionally excludes trans men. Medical professionals refusing to believe we are who we say we are, leading to unnecessary procedures, miscommunication, and misdiagnosis. Mistreatment at women's clinics for looking like an "intruder" while simultaneously being excluded from men's healthcare spaces. Being perceived as a "gender traitor" for transitioning—framed as "choosing the easier side" or abandoning feminism and womanhood, as if our identity is a political statement rather than a fact about who we are.

The transandrophobia-explained resource (drawing on the work of none-gender-left-man and nothorses) maps this further into the specific double-bind transmasc people occupy: [¹⁴] we are simultaneously told that we have "male privilege" (ignoring that being read as a trans man in a cissexist world does not function the same way as being a cis man) and told that we are "just women" who have internalized misogyny. These two positions are mutually exclusive, they're both deployed against us, and they both function to erase transmasculine identity from different directions.

The data backs up that the underlying phenomenon is real, whatever terminology you prefer for it. From the 2015 USTS, trans men reported being denied hormone coverage at higher rates (32%) than trans women (18%). [⁶] Trans men were more likely to be denied surgery coverage (57%) than trans women (54%). [⁶] Trans men had the highest lifetime suicide attempt rates in the survey at 45%, compared to 40% for trans women and 39% for nonbinary respondents. [⁶] A 2023 PMC study on transphobia as a "social disease" in the lives of trans men found that transphobia experienced specifically in healthcare institutions produced a cycle of self-exclusion—participants described being discouraged from seeking care not just because of individual bad experiences but because institutional transphobia had eroded their sense that care was for them at all. [¹⁵]

The debate over whether "transandrophobia" is the right word for all of this is a real debate within the trans community and I'm not here to declare it settled. What I'm not willing to accept is the move from "this terminology is contested" to "this phenomenon doesn't exist." The phenomenon exists. It's documented. It has a body count. We can argue about what to call it.

what this costs

The 2022 USTS found that 78% of trans respondents reported lifetime suicidal thoughts and 40% reported lifetime attempts. [⁷] These numbers are not reducible to any single cause, but the research consistently shows that discrimination and harassment are associated with worse mental health outcomes and that support and visibility are associated with better ones. [⁷] Invisibility is not a neutral condition. It does not make people safer. It makes people more isolated, less likely to seek care, less able to find community, and less likely to encounter the reflection of themselves in culture that research shows contributes to psychological wellbeing.

When transmasculine people are erased from media, from healthcare research, from trans discourse, from activist spaces—when we're told we're not controversial enough to depict, not vulnerable enough to center, not masculine enough to be real, or not feminine enough to be women so we must be confused—the cost is not abstract. It lands on real people navigating real lives without adequate care, community, or representation.

I'm one of them. And I'm tired of making this argument in a vacuum.

sources

[¹] Banks, B. (2021). "A visible absence: Transmasculine people on the screen." Participations: Journal of Audience and Reception Studies, 18(1). https://www.participations.org/18-01-04-banks.pdf

[²] Capuzza, J. & Spencer, L. (2019). "The Rise of Transgender and Gender Diverse Representation in the Media: Impacts on the Population." PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6824534/

[³] Serano, J. (2007). Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity. Seal Press. Via Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipping_Girl

[⁴] Belderiver, L. (2020). "Femmephobia's Stinging Impact on the Transmasculine Community." CUNY Academic Works (Graduate Journalism thesis). https://academicworks.cuny.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1404&context=gj_etds

[⁵] Void, S.L. (2025). "Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure: Antitransmasculinity as erasure." Medium. https://medium.com/@thewarmvoid/not-transmasc-invisibility-but-erasure-148bea710483

[⁶] James, S.E. et al. (2016). The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey. National Center for Transgender Equality. https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/usts/USTS-Full-Report-Dec17.pdf | via AMA Journal of Ethics summary: https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/how-cisgender-clinicians-can-help-prevent-harm-during-encounters-transgender-patients/2022-08

[⁷] National Center for Transgender Equality. 2022 U.S. Transgender Survey: Health. https://ustranssurvey.org/report/health/

[⁸] Kcomt, L. et al. (2020). "Healthcare avoidance due to anticipated discrimination among transgender people." SSM—Population Health. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7276492/

[⁹] Moseson, H. et al. (2023). "Reports of Negative Interactions with Healthcare Providers among Transgender, Nonbinary, and Gender-Expansive People Assigned Female at Birth." PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10252942/

[¹⁰] Morrison, T., Dinno, A., & Salmon, T. (2021). "The Erasure of Intersex, Transgender, Nonbinary, and Agender Experiences Through Misuse of Sex and Gender in Health Research." American Journal of Epidemiology, 190(12). https://academic.oup.com/aje/article/190/12/2712/6354680

[¹¹] Kerppola, A. et al. (2022). "'It's Total Erasure': Trans and Nonbinary Peoples' Experiences of Cisnormativity Within Perinatal Care Services in Aotearoa New Zealand." International Journal of Transgender Health. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/23293691.2022.2155496

[¹²] nothorses. (2021). "'Transandrophobia' Primer." Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/nothorses/684908105774104576/transandrophobia-primer | nothorses. (2022). "A crucial part of the conversation around transandrophobia..." Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/nothorses/703648872719958016

[¹³] vaspider et al. (2024). "transandrophobia isnt real the way transmisogyny is..." Tumblr (thread). https://vaspider.tumblr.com/post/770232511674597376/transandrophobia-isnt-real-the-way-transmisogyny

[¹⁴] transandrophobia-explained.carrd.co — "Transandrophobic Fundamentals and the Intersections of Trans Masc Marginalization." Drawing on none-gender-left-man and nothorses: https://transandrophobia-explained.carrd.co/

Haven't gotten to watch it in full yet but I'm really glad Love Upon a Time will reiterate the fact that Jom's hesitation about being seen showing "too much" affection for Kaew is in some way protective because the one most likely to be punished by society is the overtly feminine presenting man.

Like even ignoring idk all of history, canonically the show has been like "The Oracle was beaten half to death for her gnc identity" and "random jerks can and will bully Kaew for his feminine presentation."

In general it is way more likely that Jom would suffer far fewer consequences just by being perceived to be both masc and a top. Maybe not none but there'd be a much greater chance people would either shrug it off as an "unseemly habit" or flat out blame Kaew for seducing him.

Yep and here we are again. After we had the same discussion last November someone made a tiktok (with the caption a fierce guy enters Domundi as a girl). Now that tiktok crossed over to x with over 800k views and people of course being femmephobic again.

Someone also mentioned about how the actors clearly stated how it was their own choice and we got people like this

They deliberately choose the photos where they look more hetero-passing serious lollll

This person is being right here. Because for example for the Nunew pic he also posted a less "manly" picture in the same post.

This is even more stupid because we have more then enough ships where both actors are still muscline. Just look at GMMTV for example (and their fave ships is even from GMMTV aka JD). And also saying people can't accept a ship where both are masculine when we still have enough femmephobia?

If we look at the most populair BL ships we actually have a mix of masculine x femme and masculine x masculine

Now this was based on engagements on social media last September. But for that month I would even argue there's more masculine x masculine ships then masculine x femme.