#feminitity

- Jonny Ox

What is masculinity and what is femininity? Let’s say I describe ‘seriousness’ as a masculine quality. Someone will be quick to point out women are very serious. Describe any quality as masculine or feminine and a version of that exchange will play out. In trying to get root of what cultural standards of masculinity and femininity consist of, I’ve found it useful to ask these questions: What is it about a butch lesbian (either an imagined stereotype or a real life example) that is masculine? What qualities mark that person as masculine? What is it about very femme gay men that marks them as feminine? What actions do they take, what words do they say, what is it about their embodied presence that we recognize as feminine? When black women athletes are described as masculine, what qualities in them are being assessed? When Asian men are described as not masculine, what qualities are they be judged to be lacking? People can have a range of qualities that is not individually limited by gender expression or gender identity, but the broad cultural conceptsmasculinity and femininity have fairly tight restrictions that are most easily seen when they are perceived to be lacking or adopted by someone who is not supposed to have them.

he most common form of romance that i see around me and in media has to do with a masculine person and feminine person being interested in each other. the masculine person tries to leave an impression on the feminine person, and the feminine person has to decide whether they’re into it and how fast things should proceed. then there is the ‘magic’ part of a happy romance: without explicitly communicating about what they want, both parties get what they want from the other person. this happens in stories all the time, and i believe it sometimes happens in the life of an individual. but what makes it seem special and magic is that events could have unfolded another way. there was an element of suspense and mystery before the moment where both parties got what they wanted. that made the moment where the desires are exposed and confirmed especially exciting. there had been risk of miscommunication and asynchronous desire up to that moment. so it’s a very dramatic moment and very gratifying when it ‘just works’. but that moment of magic romance only works when both parties ARE, by chance, on the same wavelength. If they’re not, that moment when desires are revealed may be awkward, it also may be the precursor to assault. masculine people tend to be socialized to press ahead with advances. feminine people tend to be socialized to cooperate with others. romance only works when the scenario is romantic from the point of view of both partners. if it is only romantic for one of the people involved, it’s a serious problem. but this risk is an inherent part of the way romance is performed and modeled. 

Can a woman be chivalrous? Sure, but guys are going to hate it

Imagine a woman who Embodies Spirituality. A woman who Honors her body as the Sacred Temple of the Spirit of Life. Who Breathes Deeply as a Prayer of Gratitude for Life itself. YOU ARE THAT WOMAN ❤️ — alaskadecade