#feeling so normal.

Maybe she’d fall asleep on their couch and he’d carry her to her room, much like he did with Sarah that night, and says I love you when she can’t hear him. Because the love is unspoken between them, but he says it anyway. To hear himself say the words again. To be able to experience saying those words again and knowing he means them with every ounce of who he is. The one thing that makes him up is his love for her.

Maybe it’s in a more serious context. Maybe they argue over the hospital. Maybe it’s about patrol. Maybe it’s about who they’ve lost. Maybe Joel opens up about his fear for her and tells her he loves her too much. It almost scares her in a way, because she’s never been told that before. Not genuinely, like she knows this is.

Maybe it’s in a soft setting. Maybe they’re camping outside jackson together and she makes him laugh. Maybe he’s making them dinner at the house and the setting just tugs at him to say it. To let her know. Where they’re living, how they’re living, it’s just so easy to say. Maybe they’re watching a movie together and she’s tucked against his side, much like that night. And it reminds him so much of Sarah and how he didn’t say it to her then, so he does now. For Sarah, to let her know because he knows she’s there with them, but also for Ellie as her own person. For what they’ve become. For what she means to him now, without a trace of Sarah.