#fdtd thoughts

Most of what we see in Season 1 is him desperately trying to hang on to the life he’s always known. He’s a thief, not a flat out killer and while Richie’s always had his back - something is really wrong with him and Seth doesn’t know what to do about it.

A lot of what we see him do in Season 1, including his protection of Kate is really him clinging to the last bit of his code that he can. 

He’s really a mess trying to wrap his black-and-white mind around world that has a ton of gray in it now.

Seth’s in fight or flight mode the entire time during Season 1 and I think until the end when he loses Richie - He doesn’t even stop to really process everything that he’s seen/heard experienced. He doesn’t handle this new world information or the loss of his brother very well, to put it lightly.

I think in Season 2 when we see him with Kate, he’s not really capable of loving at at that point. The loss of Richie and his whole world as he understood it is simply too much for him to handle, hence the escape into drugs. I think that Seth spent his whole life with someone to take care of and with that element gone he had to face his own mental issues/demons and he was not ready or capable. 

If Kate had been weaker I don’t think he would have crashed as hard (this is not me pointing the finger at Kate in any way. She didn’t drive him to drugs; it was his choice) 

However I think it Seth would have had to take care of her, instead of her acting like his equal, I think he could have maintained himself longer. He has a paternal instinct (an angry one that swears a lot, but always has your back)       - Most of his violence is reactive to those around him being hurt. He’s also possessive of Kate (hello Rafa - who the H’ are you?) but he doesn’t want her actually close.

I’ve heard a lot of back and forth about Seth’s mental condition and I’ve heard BPD, which I think is a possibility with his moodiness (I love the boy - but damn).

But the other thing is is could be PTSD from an abusive father, an absent mother, to watching his father burn, to taking care of Richie - it’s a lot and that affects how you see and handle the world. I’m way off track sorry…

I think he felt the loss of Kate, like the loss of the only light he still saw in himself. In his mind, I think he imagined her going home and having a good life. Hearing about her death meant he failed her and this is right on the heels of losing his Uncle.

I definitely think that he cried when he was alone in that space, just the loss of her in general. I think he probably lost it when she wasn’t at the Bloodwell - because the only way he could atone for her dying would be to bury her and he couldn’t even do that.

In my opinion I don’t think he understood that he loved her until Season three - I think that seeing her the first time threw him completely off and brought up a lot of emotions that he simply wasn’t ready for. When Kate begged him to kill her - that was another moment that affected him, Honestly if Kate hadn’t called out, I’m not so sure he wouldn’t have shot. It was her voice that stopped him.

“I don’t forgive you.” - This is moment I think he really felt it. His heart broke right there…..

and he knew that he had to save her whichever way that was going to happen. He wanted to save her and it went beyond romantic love and to an all compassing love that I don’t think he understood. 

Her acceptance was what I think ultimately makes her end up with him in the end. If she didn’t step into his space I think his own self hatred would have kept him walking without looking back. 

His face, man. He knew he had to let her go and that deeper then romantic love is what let him do that. Not that I don’t think he loves her like that, but I think it’s more than just butterflies in the stomach.

Sorry this went way long… Sorry the pics are all over the place. I’m limited in my creativity beyond the words thing. 

Be cool ;)