#fapchett

Tucker never apologized to me, and he didn’t necessarily deny. The fact that I could see through him distressed him, so therefore I was hurting him by putting my foot down. He changed the subject of the conversation to my behavior, and in that twisted, searing, pathetic light, the person sticking up for themselves becomes the Abuser.

Problem was, I’m a person who takes fucking responsibility. He passed the buck on to me... and I’m where the buck stopped. When I should have given the buck back to him and said, no. You caused this, so YOU fix it.

Yikes yikes.

He used to… uhh… look through online fetish storefronts and show me there was a sale on nipple clamps? And little… sex suits, made of yarn? Suggestively?

Like…………???

Buddy…………………….????? Who in this great fuckin’ green world do you think you’re talking to…?..??……..?

OHHH MANNN I think it was the bara thing! He called a lady character “bara” or something and someone took offense to it and he came to me showing me anon messages he was getting like “you’re literally human garbage”. OF COURSE I had to come to the defense of such a sweet creature!

Of course we all know by now that he fakes that shit. Apparently there was another incident with Silvermender where he “received” anons telling him to step off and stop hoarding their friendship or something.

And you probably know about the time an “anon” told me they “shipped” me and him. That I confirmed was him.

So here’s a friendly reminder

MMMMMM. No shame, no shame. Seriously. It’s dizzying how convincing a straight face can be, even when you know the truth. I have his writing paraphrased for me whenever possible because I come distressingly fuckin’ close to “oh you poor dear..!” whenever I read more than a paragraph. I have to actively remind myself that “okay wait, but you have 3 testimonies that prove that that illness isn’t even real”. It happens over and over again. I am always gonna be super vulnerable to a good sob story.

I remember when he was talking mr about one person, I would go"oh, that sucks but I see why they said that" and you could see him just. Ramping up. Coming up with worse stuff. Until he finally hit my button, made me mad on his behalf, and dropped it because it Hurt So Much to think about them. They dispute the worst thing, natch.

These days, I hear he's more or less dropped the "transphobic" line. His big line now is that I was Mean. No shit, Sherlock, but what does that have to do with the price of tea in China. I can show you comments with me publicly calling my best friends names like "fatass" and exchanges where we tell each other to go die in a ditch. People are saying "he's just mad about the way you normally talk". A way that he encouraged. My nickname for him was "Worthless", one he specifically told me he wanted me to keep using and in return he called me "Boss". Because he was grooming me for a god damn BDSM relationship.

I dunno what people who support him think even went down. That he was some harmless disease-ridden puppy and that I knocked on his door and said "You. Me. Friends, now. Or else" and just made myself at home on his couch? I am a VERY hard lady to get to know. He sought me out. Every. Day. EVERY. Day. And worked his ass off keeping conversations going when I had lost interest. He wanted me, he eventually got me, and now he doesn't like that I don't like the way I was treated and lied to.

Ahawww! Also, bad choice of words.

Interestingly! Interestingly. I think that’s exactly what was used against me. Brosef told me he had a terminal illness (one we’re all pretty goddamn certain he doesn’t have at all) in our very first conversation, so I was never working on a level playing field. I was always working with an aggressive manipulator, trapped there by politeness, because while I kinda went “oh boy” the first few times, he was astute and rational on seemingly every other subject. Why would he lie? I guess he’s just really unlucky, and that’s why he says he knows all this stuff! He’s had a hard, interesting life! 

Like, he could always go “oh, I just don’t feel so good.... just thinkin’ ‘bout stuff.....” and I’d always say “what’s up” and he’d immediately volunteer the most amazing loads of bullshit. But it taught me that that was normal, to unload all your worries on someone, and we started always knowing each other’s exact mood. One time I admitted I’d been feeling Jealous and he ran with that for the rest of the relationship whenever he needed to tear me down. When I said stuff bothered me, he just found sneakier ways to mention it. He seriously just slowly drove me insane, probably literally convincing himself and a few others that I was horribly mistreating him, while from my perspective I was nicer and more accommodating to him than I was to anyone else, because I legitimately liked the person he presented to me. While never telling me what I was doing wrong when I asked. I asked what to fix and how. You know damn well I did.

And when he did tell me, it was silly shit? “You shoudn’t have answered that anon like that.” I recall one of his friends even said “Don’t make those jokes with me, I know that you use sex to manipulate people.” What the fuck was he saying to people? I don’t even DESIRE sexual relationships or interactions, he’s the one who constantly approaches people saying “what if your favorite character did your favorite thing... with his dick?” like a fucking creep. Like, and I took it as feedback every time! Maybe there is something wrong with me that I don’t know! Gosh, sorry guys, any ideas for how to work on it? No? Okay, I’ll figure it out myself, thanks for telling me! Oh, you have something else...? Ahah... this pile’s getting a little heavy, but sure, gimme another! I CAN TAKE IT.

Holy shit, this is fucking fascinating.