#fable i

My Hero, Druid, was actually, of all three of my heroes, the ONLY ONE who absolutely never fell in combat. Nope, nada. He used “Healing” EVERY chance he got, and a result, he had a SUPER good alignment, even when he was running away from screaming merchants while being chased by pixies while he was healing himself. (It happens.) 

He also picked up a TON of resurrection phials, not the least because, since competing in the Gauntlet in nothing but his skivvies and beating every level without falling, he was, frankly, absolutely filthy rich and could afford to buy whatever he wanted. 

So, the final battle with Jack of Blades comes. My friend, whose XBox I was leeching off of to play the game, warns me ahead of time: “Jack of Blades is REALLY hard.” And this girl has been gaming for years. Gaming is her Thing™, and when she talks about Jack of Blades, I see all the trauma of her ten year old self. 

Pretty much off the bat, Druid dies. Like, that light attack? Hits you hard the first time, and I was too busy hitting the son of a bitch I didn’t notice. 

But, I had a resurrection phial. 

As time goes on and I realize how this boss fight is set up, I start to duck behind the stones, using a combination of Will and archery to bring him down. 

All told, Druid dies around five times. But, at the end of the day, Jack dies, too. 

I have this mental image of Jack of Blades being like “Ah, so much for the so-called ‘Hero of Oakvale.’ If only his poor mother could have seen him.” 

Only for Druid to revive. 

Okay, this is all normal, all part of the plan, and, really, so much more entertaining that he’s still trying, poor, stupid thing. Well, what else would you expect from the son of Scarlet Robe?  

Then he does it again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Like, “WHY WON’T YOU *DIE*” 

you have no idea how much and how long my inner teenager screamed with joy when the opening credits started

I went to sleep at 4am on Saturday

I am stuck at a very basic level, but I aim to finish this game