Sep 6, 2019
All dogs go to heaven, but I had a very very good boy. I love you buddy. Rest easy now.
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All dogs go to heaven, but I had a very very good boy. I love you buddy. Rest easy now.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Interview Time
Hopefully gonna get a day job. Wish me luck!
Exvind Go Boom
So. The other night my computer's power supply burst into flame. Today I find out in its death throes it took my motherboard with it. So I am largely restricted to my phone- so I guess I am on a fucking all-game hiatus until I can scratch up the funds to basically rebuild a computer. (I dont have the means to test if my graphics card still works, my harddrive still spins so hopefully my data and logs is intact, but no more CPU and such.) Fuck me sideways. : /
How I Roommate:
Me: (discussing RPGs with Roommate 1 and Roommate 2 [a couple] while Roommate A and Roommate B [another couple] are out.
Me: Appreciate all the help I'm pretty sure that everyone will love this campaig--
Us: (hears Roommates A and B pulling into driveway)
Me: (is dressed in white wifebeater, black sweatpants, and has a claw hammer easily at hand) Guys I want to paint the worst fucking picture possible when they walk in.
Roommate 2: ON IT. (immediately crumples to ground and clutches at his head)
Roommate 1: (nods and covers her laughter with super fake crying noises)
Me As Roommates A and B Walk In Whilst POINTING hammer at Roommate 1: AND DONT YOU GO SASSING ME BOUT HOW BROTHERHOOD WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL-
Roommates A and B: HOLY FUCKING SHIT EXVIND!?!??!?!?!?!
Me, Roommate 1 and 2: (Collapse into terrible laughter)
Roommate A: You're all fucking monsters.
Roommate B: (shakes his head and goes straight to his bedroom)
Roommate A: I was about to fucking tackle him!
Roomate 2 While Still On Floor: Oh my god that would have made it so much better!
Me: Agreed.
(pause)
Me: You really thought I'd kill Roommate 2 over fucking anime?
I Have Incredible Luck - But It Goes Both Ways
Or: Why I’m fucking screaming at the damn sky.
In the course of one day, one single, solitary day, all of the above happened in this order:
I learned from my dentist that there’d been an oddity with my wisdom teeth being removed and that straight up if I’d come in any later I would have lost a molar. Surprise! ugh...
I arrive at work with face numb unable to enjoy the free employee buffet - but get a commendation for customer service from some guy outside my department - first time ever. Neat.
Pseudo Rumor starts at work about the new guy in my position like - first day not training - is slinging shade at me. Wat.
I enter the Employee Appreciation Raffle - win a bloody Xbox One. Holy hell, right? I’m practically skipping home.
Find a letter at home informing that despite assurances to the contrary by a professional, I have been permanently disqualified from military service thus throwing the last year of work and preparation down the goddamn drain and completely demolishing my plans for a career and future of stability and such. God. Fucking. Mother. Shit. Hell. Devastating. (note; I’m appealing this but.....it’s not looking good)
...And then happen on a ticket to the midnight release of Star Wars that night.
One day. One single day in the life of exvind.Â
can you say emotional whiplash?
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Moment of Truth Time
In just over an hour, I have my phone interview. If it goes well and my paperwork is properly delivered, in two weeks, I’ll be off to Officer Training School. Wish me luck, all!
Vegas Impressions Thus Far
It is hot. This is a desert. I underestimated the sun for the last time.
This entire city is really fond of Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood”
I am never the worst-dressed person anywhere.
My wallet is not big enough to fit all of the Players Club Membership Cards I’m being handed
THE SUN OH DEAR GOD THE SUN IT BURNS
Flamingos are majestic birbs.
Sharks are majestic feesh
Strip clubs are multinational meltingpots
Burlesque shows employ exceptionally talented performers.
I like both of those places. A lot.
THERE IS A MASSIVE REACTOR OF HYDROGEN AND DEATH IN THE SKY AND IT IS GOING TO CONSUME US ALL
No seriously I’m hearing “Bad Blood” like 17 times a day.
Free beer is best beer.
I really want to take a sip out of my trusty Vault 13 canteen.
These people give like zero fucks
there are too many people on this planet
Everything is so shiny and chrome is this Valhalla?
THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
IRL Exvind at Work: Prison Break
(I am rolling silverware behind a group of other servers)
Coworker 1: So like you guys have heard about the dudes who escaped from that Maximum Security place in New York right?
Coworker 2: Sorta? Isn't that place like fifteen miles from Canada?
Coworker 1: Yeah dude. I'm betting they're all like, over there now.
Coworker 3: They'll be dead in a week, or extradited. They're used to living in prison, not the wild.
Coworker 2: Yeah. I'll take guards over bears any time.
Coworker 3: What are they gonna do? Shiv a bear? Not happening.
Coworker 2: Man they'd bear-ly make a dent.
Me: HA!!!!
(they all turn, having forgotten I was there)
Me: ...Bear-ly? Stab a bear? ....It was a good pun....
Coworker 1: ..........Goddamn it Skippy.