#ex conservative

You cannot claim to believe in human freedom and also claim that humans are morally obligated to adhere to norms that are arbitrary and harm no one to deviate from. There is no identifiable, objectively correct way to be human.

If you claim to believe in freedom, you don't get to be mad when responsible, consenting adults decide to have sex or get married because you don't think they're "supposed to".

If you claim to believe in freedom, you don't get to be mad when someone wears clothes, takes hormones, and/or uses a name or pronouns you don't think they are "supposed to".

Mom and Dad,

     When Trump got shot this summer, I remember you saying that this was all because the Left wouldn’t stop calling him Hitler. How we needed to “turn down the temperature” and stop “inciting violence.” I don’t think you understand that when people compare Trump to Hitler, it is not, in fact, just because they do not like him, but because he uses Hitlerian rhetoric on a regular basis. Obsessing over an imagined past version of a country that never truly existed. Saying that (insert frequently dehumanized other) is “poisoning the blood of the nation.” Before Hitler began the Final Solution against Jews, what did he say he planned to do? Deport them, until he realized it was too costly. I don’t think you understand that Hitler did not start putting people in death camps the second he came to power. Trump is currently in about the same position Hitler was in in the 1930s. Is it going to take him putting undocumented people in gas chambers for you to believe me? 

     You might think that I’ve only come to my current conclusions about Trump because of the lies of “the mainstream media”, which, as I’ve said numerous times, I don’t even watch. But it’s actually been largely due to the things Trump himself has said. I understand that you don’t like Biden calling Trump’s voters “garbage”, but the language Trump uses to describe his political opponents is at least as disturbing. He’s disparaged fallen soldiers as “suckers and losers.” He’s proudly boasted about being the president who got Roe V Wade appealed, regardless of the estimated thousands of women who are dying because the medical treatments they need fall too close to the legal definition of abortion. A massive portion of his campaign advertisements are explicitly anti-trans. He thinks Palestinians should be moved off their land because it would make “great beachfront property.” He regularly speaks positively of and rubs elbows with the most disturbing members of the alt-right, such as Laura Loomer and Nick Fuentes. He’s a bully. (you voted for a bully. Remember when I was bullied?) And if Kamala’s plans are incoherent, which admittedly some of them are, Trump’s are even more so. He doesn't have a plan. America is just another failed business to him. 

     I don’t think you’re bad people. But I do think your party is bad. This is far more than just one guy. My journey has been less one of changing any of my beliefs than realizing that the Republican Party never represented those beliefs to begin with. It is the party of the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, of stripping the oppressed of their means to succeed and then asking them to “pull themselves up by the bootstraps.” Your precious Reagan was a racist. There’s recorded evidence. His policies were racist. He enabled denial and misinformation about AIDS until it was too little too late and millions had died. And you proudly display his book on your shelf, right next to Rush Limbaugh and Pat fucking Buchanan. Your son is a gay man. How could you. 

     Being a conservative, whether you think so or not, is inherently about preserving the status quo, about making sure things stay the way they are, that the people who are down stay down, and crushing anyone who tries to make things better. I didn’t vote Democrat because I am one. I voted Democrat because it would be easier under one such administration to push this country in the direction of equity and liberty. Project 2025 was intended for the next conservative administration. Trump may deny involvement, but the foreword of one of the sections was written by none other than his own vice president. And with the House, Senate and Supreme Court all red now, it’s going to be easier than ever for him to pass any portions of it he likes. 

     I’m writing you this letter so that you know that if a nationwide abortion ban gets put in place, if schools and parents who support their children’s gender affirming care (which does NOT mean surgery) start getting investigated (which some already are), if Israel continues bombing Gaza until there’s nothing left, if billionaires continue to take up larger and larger percentages of the nation’s wealth, if immigrants who’ve lived and worked in this country for years start getting deported in droves because they couldn’t get the right paperwork, that it’s on you and people like you, even as you continue deny the very real damage done in Trump’s first presidency, the awful, awful people who felt empowered because of him. I tried for a while this summer to see if I could change your minds, but all it did was screw up my mental health and make me realize something truly painful: that you aren’t the people I thought you were. Not when your reaction to police shooting students the same age as your own daughter with rubber bullets because they don’t want their university to be complicit in a genocide is “well, what are they supposed to do? They’re the police.” Not when a man can say immigrants are poisoning the blood of the nation and you still vote for him. 

     It breaks my heart that you and so many people I love have been so deeply conditioned to vote against their own best interests, to think that a government that actually helps its people without actively harming others is a childish, fanciful expectation. I think I truly believed to the depths of my soul until last night that this wouldn’t happen. That we were better than this. That we wouldn’t reelect someone who objectively ran a terrible campaign, who conducts himself with boorishness and indignity, who genuinely, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, represents everything that made me scream "Fuck America" out Laura’s car window this summer. But why should I be surprised America likes fascists? My own parents certainly seem to.

     But I hope you’re happy with your lower grocery prices, I guess. Which we probably won’t be getting anyway, because that’s not actually what Trump’s policies are going to do. 

     You sold out my friends, and entire marginalized communities, for cheaper groceries. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for that.

"

Since the video went viral, Cynthia has used her platform to raise awareness about immigration issues. She has become increasingly active on TikTok and in media interviews, speaking openly about her efforts to understand and challenge systemic racism and anti-immigrant policies.

'I'm learning everything I unlearned,' she said. 'And I'm going to fight for people who don't have a voice.'

She has also started attending community events and partnering with local advocacy groups focused on immigrant rights.

'The guilt I carry is heavy, but I won't stay silent anymore,' she added."

This here? This is what actual accountability looks like.*

. Some More News- with Cody Johnston and Katy Stoll

. Last Week Tonight- with John Oliver

. The New Evangelicals- with Tim Whitaker and April Joy (note: Tim Whitaker has recently been accused of some anger management/hostile workplace issues. Take with a grain of salt)

. Belle of the Ranch- if you want shorter videos

. Legal Eagle

I was raised in a hardline GOP/Southern Baptist household. During my later teens, I deconstructed the beliefs I was taught, and I've spent my adult life as a bleeding-heart socialist.

I want to tell you the truth: you never stop learning.

I want to tell you the truth: you never stop deconstructing.

I was on Twitter back then. I followed every left-of-center person I could find. I was soaking up ideas like a sponge. I took every tweet as gospel, which turned out to be VERY unsustainable.

You see, progressives disagree with each other. A lot. About pretty much everything.

It's not possible to reconcile every idea. You can't please everybody. That's the biggest mistake I made when I was fresh out of the conservative bubble. It took me by surprise how much people who agreed on 95% of issues could turn on each other with such incredible venom. It's something you will have to accept.

You can't just sponge up everyone else's ideas. You have to take everything you read with a grain of salt. It's really okay to apply the same critical thinking you applied to your reactionary political and/or religious beliefs and apply that to what other progressives say. Test everything. Question everything. It really is okay.

On the other hand, you also want to avoid being an argumentative dick. People you agree with most of the time will sometimes express ideas you don't agree with.

If the ideas are genuinely odious (some form of bigotry) then just block them and move on. It's VERY rare to change somebody's mind online. For your own mental health, it's best not to engage unless you are doing so for the sake of others.

Yet what if the idea isn't absolutely odious? What if it's just a reasonable disagreement? In most cases, I'd still recommend not engaging. Instead, study what the other person is saying. See if it makes sense, or if you can at least learn from their perspective.

You can actually learn something from a bad idea. And you don't have to be 100% in alignment with someone to treat them with respect or learn from them.

In conclusion, my new ex-fundies and ex-reactionaries, remember two things. One, it's okay to think critically about the ideas other leftists have. None of us agree on everything! Two, it's better to block than to be an argumentative asshole. And, you can often learn something from folks you disagree with!