#eset

Tonight is the night I think I'll try to stop my obsessive habits. I've been obsessing over my mistakes a lot lately, and rather than thinking if says to improve of simply letting it go, I've been dragging myself down into a pool of endless self-loathing. It isn't doing me any good. So, while it's going to be hard, I'm going to try stopping my bad habits and overcome my mental issues. And perhaps I'll start this by simply not acknowledging whatever mistake I'm thinking of anytime it pops into my brain, opening up when I start to feel guilty, or reminding myself that I can change and be a better person rather than sit around and hate myself for things that were in the past. I'm going to try healing from this mindset, because it clearly isn't doing me any good, and is just stressing me out. And I think my deities and Lady Isis for pointing it out to me.

I'm going to also try stopping myself from fearing the judgement of others too, especially with how much of an outcast I feel like for my different ways of worship compared to other Pagans online. I keep fearing whether or not I'm doing the right thing, or if I should keep doing this, or if my deities are even around or even like the casual relationship we have. When I should really be letting myself know that my relationship with my deities is my own relationship, and something that others can't change just because they don't understand or see it as something different from their own experiences with paganism. I need to become more comfortable in my own skin. And I think I'll do that by asking Queen Lillith for advice on how to feel more comfortable with myself tomorrow. Or I'll at least ask her if she'd like to do an advice tarot spread.