#ericxofc

We joked and laughed as we lugged my possessions across the compound. Being around Mae made me smile, I could relax in her company.

"It's been bugging me, so I have to ask," I began as we passed The Chasm, "Where did Jason get his wedding tattoo? I mean he doesn't have a left hand, let alone a ring finger."

Mae gave me a smug look before stating, "On his cock," as my eyebrows shot up.

"Seriously?" I asked in a hushed tone, looking at her wide-eyed.

"No! Of course not," Mae scoffed, throwing her head back with contagious laughter. I couldn't help but smile with her. I should've expected this, she had recently started teasing me for how gullible I could be at times.

"Phew," she finally said, still chuckling as she balanced the box on the railing, freeing a hand to wipe away a tear, "You will believe anything," she grinned at me, "but no, he just got it on his right hand."

"Drum roll please!" Mae buzzed as she punched the code into the keypad before swinging the door open, "Welcome to your brand new, though gently used, humble abode!"

I hummed and nodded as I looked around the small room, "I think I've got about four square feet of extra space over the old place," I joked looking back at her.

"And this sweet kitchenette," she added, pointing to the left side of the room with her thumb. There was a small half size fridge with a butcher block countertop above it, a two burner gas stove, and sink, "You don't have to rush to the mess hall for breakfast any more, talk about leisurely mornings. And check this out," she crossed the small space to a door, turning the knob, "This is why I moved out of the dorms, your own shower! No more of that communal co-ed washroom bullshit."

I poked my head past her looking in, "That's about all that's in there," I commented as I studied the closet with a toilet and shower. I stepped back as she closed the door and looked around the small room again and I liked it, I even had a window now.

"Thank you, Mae," I stated with a wide smile as I turned to face her.

"Don't worry," she replied waving her hands, but I could see she was pleased with my reaction, "Listen I got a spare TV, so I'll bring it over tonight after work and I'll show you all my favorite programs, ok?"

"Yeah that sounds awesome, I can't wait," I agreed as she walked to the exit.

"Alright, I'll see you then, just after dinner," she finalized before closing the door.

While toweling my hair, I stepped out of the shower humming, "Stamp and dance be nimble and merry," I mumbled to myself as I looked at my new room. I had spent all day arranging and rearranging the handful of furniture I had until it was perfect and I was exhausted.

"But watch the fire and try to be wary," I continued, as I closed my eyes, leaning forward, and wrapping my hair tight in the towel to dry. It was one of my favorite songs from Amity that was sung around the weekly bonfire, I could never forget it.

"For you must know I have no warm bed," I slid open the folding closet doors to reveal my dresser, I moved it in there to save floor space. Once it was tucked away I was able to arranged my bed and small futon back to back in the center of the room, the couch facing the door, and the bed set so I could see out the window as I laid down. I was very excited about the new bed, it was twice as wide as my last one so I had plenty of room to stretch out.

I dug through the dresser looking for underwear to pull on, "And when it's cold I need it instead," I sang as I pulled an oversized t-shirt above my head, letting it settle around my shoulders as there was a knock on the door. "One second," I called out as I quickly tugged up a pair of shorts.

I hurried over to the door at the second knock, "Sorry, I just got out of the-," I began as I looked up, expecting to see Mae with a monitor. Instead I was greeted by the tall, broad frame of Eric in my door way.

"Oh, hello," I stammered, thrown off balance by his sudden appearance, "Sorry, I was expecting someone else, a friend."

"I heard you were moving," Eric spoke, ignoring me as he pushed past into my apartment, "I brought you this," he handed me a bottle of liquor, "A house warming gift," he explained without making eye contact as he strode around my room inspecting the small space.

"Thanks, but I don't really like whiskey," I replied inspecting the bottle.

"That's fine, just save it for the next time I visit," he responded taking a seat on my mattress, "Not bad," he nodded before eyeing at me, "Need help breaking it in?"

I gave an exasperated sigh as I set the glass bottle on the coffee table and crossed over to him, "My friend Mae is going to be here any moment, you need to leave," I said as I grabbed and tugged at his arm, giving a futile attempt to dislodge him from his seat.

"But I don't want to," Eric shot as he jerked his arm back, leading me to stumble forward. He quickly wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me sideways onto his lap.

"Cut this out," I said as he gripped my waist, leaning forward to bite my throat. I pushed on his shoulders trying to back up, but he held me in place. I felt my resolve crack as he slowly ran his nose up along the column of my neck.

"Don't you want to spend time with me?" he questioned with a low voice into my ear. I whined as I wrapped an arm behind his neck, inching myself closer to him as his fingers danced around the hem of my shirt, acting as a catalyst to the fire under my belly. I brought my face forward, nipping at his top lip as he grinned, leaning backwards slightly.

"Hey Mott, I brought the TV," Mae called out, pushing the door open with her back. She paused in her tracks once she finally turned to fully face Eric and I, "Oh, uh, my bad," she stammered, averting her eyes to look at the wall.

"No," I started frantically, pushing myself away from Eric while his grip was slack, "Eric was just about to go," I looked at him quickly catching his furious glare, "He's leaving now."

Eric let a out a scoff as he stood up, pushing past me to the door, which he proceeded to slam behind himself.

"Sorry," I mumbled, avoiding Mae's eyes as I tugged on my fingers, "I was trying to tell him to leave, that I was expecting you, but he can be, uh, persuasive," I stammered as she set the screen onto the coffee table.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize to me," she joked in a light tone as she moved to hook the television up. I sighed and relaxed, letting my shoulders slump as I moved forward to help her.

"I do have to ask though," she started, looking up, "Does Eric know about Rachel?"

I gnawed on my lip, hesitant to answer, "No he doesn't, but it's not like it matters. I haven't heard from her in two and a half weeks," I explained, watching as Mae's face drooped with sympathy.

"I'm sorry," she added, resting a hand on my arm, "That really sucks. But hey, it's her loss," she added as she squeezed my shoulder. I tried to return her smile as we plugged in the last wires.

I blinked slowly in the morning sunlight, confused for a second at where I was. It took a moment for me to gain enough consciousness to gather my bearings but then I remembered, I was in my new apartment where I lived alone. I felt a long familiar pang in my chest at the reminder of my solitude and unconsciously let my thoughts drift back to the details of Layla.

I thought of how I'd idly wrap the spirals of her hair around my finger, laying with her in the grass when we were young and free from responsibility. Free to spend the day together doing as we pleased, even if that was nothing. I wished to look at her now, across the bed sheets from me, sharing my blankets. I could see in my mind how her curls would spill across the pillow, like the vines of ivy snaked across the decayed concrete overpass in Amity. I reached out slowly, running my fingers through the air where her cheek would be, imagining there was something to touch.

How different would my life in Dauntless have been if Layla had joined me? Part of me swore I could have helped her, kept her from being discovered, but she never even gave me that chance.

With a deep sighed I closed my eyes and rolled over, pushing myself up from under the bedding. I sat on the edge of the mattress, trying to prepare myself for the day ahead as I avoided looking over my shoulder to the empty bed that I occupied alone.

I spent most of my time perched on the floor, resorting all the scattered files. It turned out to be an extensive process, first having to return the loose leafs to their proper folder, then organizing said folders. I spent day in and day out flipping through pages and sorting through files on the floor of Eric's office.

I grew stiff spending the long hours curled up on the hard tiles. I swore that I'd go to the gym today, I even brought my gym pack with me so I could head there straight away. I heard my joints pop as I stood up and stretched. Checking the clock I noted it was dinner time. Most everyone would be in the mess hall so the gym will likely be empty as I preferred. That's what I hoped for, but unfortunately things didn't go according to plan.

I hadn't taken two steps in to the rec room when I found myself face to face with Eric. I groaned, annoyed that I could never seem to keep away from him.

"Surprising seeing you here," he smirked, about to exit the door I had just entered, "Don't want to get too flabby, people might start to question if you're actually a soldier," he chided as he walked pass. I stood there fuming for a minute before I turned on my heel and stormed into the men's locker room, following him.

"I'd be able to work out more if I didn't have to spend countless hours sorting out the mess you made!" I shouted, catching him by surprise as he pulled his shirt off.

"You mean the mess we made?" Eric challenged, quirking an eyebrow as he emphasized the word 'we'.

"No way, you were the one who knocked everything over," I returned pointing my finger at him as he rested his hands on his hips.

"Really?" he replied taking a step closer to me, "You really think you weren't complicit in the act? It was entirely your fault," he pressed as he looked down at me, I stood my ground, refusing to step away, "After all, you were the one who kissed me.

"It almost makes me wonder why you followed me in here," Eric continued as he studied me with his eyes.

"I came in here to call you an idiot," I spat at him as he moved in closer.

"Is that all you came in here for?" Eric asked, lowering his head toward my ear, "There was nothing else that you wanted from me?" he shifted his legs, pushing one foot between mine as his lips ghosted across the edge of my ear. I swallowed hard before answering, hoping to stifle the tremor in my voice that he caused.

"No?" I stammered, my tone unsure. Part of me wanted to run away but then he began to nip and kiss my jawbone and I couldn't help but rest my hands on his bare chest as he grabbed my middle. He pulled back, sitting down on the bench behind him as his fingers trailed along the sides of my legs, encouraging me forward. I bit my lip as I followed his lead, resting my knees on either side of him while avoiding his smug expression. I shivered at his touch as his fingers trailed up my spine underneath the cotton of my shirt.

"There's nothing you want from me?" he questioned again his lips dangerously close to mine as he pushed my hips down against his semi hard bulge. I closed my eyes, whining at the sensation of him under me before I choked out a response.

"I want you to say my name."

"Now why would I do that?" he smirked, teasing at the skin of my neck.

"Because I want you to," I stated, pushing back slightly to catch his gaze.

"Hmm," he hummed, narrowing his eyes as if considering my request, "No."

I acted on impulse and unabashedly slid one hand down his abdomen, snaking my fingers between our hips to cup his erection through his gym shorts, "I want you to say my name," I reiterated, pushing against him.

"No," he maintained as his trademark crooked smirk grew into a grin. It was obvious he was enjoying this game. I felt hypnotized by his hungry stare as I cautiously slid my palm upwards, letting my fingers dip under his waistband while leaning forward.

"Say my name," I whispered in his ear trying a new tactic, allowing my warm breath dance across his skin and cartilage. I could hear Eric let out a low growl as his hands drifted north from my thighs, gripping the soft flesh of my bottom. I stalled my hand, allowing my fingertips to just barely tease his lower wisps of hair, "I just want you to say my name."

Before Eric could reply the locker room door swung open with the laughter of three men echoing off the tiles. I snapped back to reality in an instant as the clouds that fogged my mind quickly dispersed. Without hesitation I climbed off of Eric's lap. Grabbing my bag, I bolted towards the exit, bustling past the group of intruders.

I couldn't believe that I'd fallen into his trap again. I cursed myself for being caught with him as I stopped in the hall just outside the doors, trying to catch my breath. I knew what kind of rumors this behavior would inspire. I turned my head to the side, hearing the nondescript sound of Eric yelling profanities at the others. I couldn't imagine that he was happy with this turn of events.

Once back at my place I clamped my fists over my eyes and dropped to the floor, slumped against the inside of my apartment door. I don't know why I continued to let this happen and I hated myself for it. I could swear that I despised him a hundred times over, but then once Eric put his hands on me I immediately turned into putty, eager to bend to his will. I cursed myself with an exasperated sigh.

Dropping my hands I looked up and my eyes came to rest upon the glass bottle of amber liquid on the coffee table. I had forgotten about it, leaving it out to eventually collect dust days ago. Shifting my legs, I knelt forward and wrapped my fingers around the neck of the bottle. Twisting open the cap there was a satisfying crack as the seal broke before I lifted it to my lips, taking a hefty drink. I was quick to pull away, coughing and sputtering at first in response to the bitter taste before I brought the bottle back for another gulp.

After another drink or two I managed to stand up and stumble three feet over to the couch. I grabbed the remote clicking on the television as I took another drink, still grimacing at the taste. The screen blinked to life pulling up the last channel I had been watching with Mae. She had a thing for cartoons and now there were five animated women singing, "Face it like a grown up, when you gunna own up that you got-," I cut them off changing the channel. I continued to press the button, absently scanning through the different programs without really processing what they were as I sipped absently at the bottle.

The next thing I know, I'm blinking at the morning sun as it shines in my face. I groaned as I rolled over, twisting my bed sheets tighter around my legs. Eventually I sat up, stretching as a I yawned. Moving to throw my legs over the edge of the bed I noticed the half empty bottle on the side table with a piece of paper taped to it. I tugged the note loose and immediately recognized the neat handwriting, everything in caps. The note simply read, 'I thought you didn't like whiskey' without a signature.

I kept my head down all day, too embarrassed to even look at Eric. I tried my hardest to just focus on my work, plowing forward like Sisyphus with this mound of paperwork. I could feel the note in my pocket every time I shifted, hyper aware of it's presence. All day I wanted to say something to him, but each time I tried to get my nerves up I hesitated. I'm not quite sure why, I knew for a fact that was his handwriting. But maybe it could've been someone else. Though who else would would've taken the time to tuck me into bed? At the end of the day I stood to leave, gathering my things before I headed out.

"Mott," Eric barked, causing me to jump before stopping in my steps. He stood and rounded the corner of his desk so he stood in front of me, "Go have a quick dinner and wash up, I expect to meet you in The Pit at six o'clock sharp. We're going out." I was confused for a second not sure if he was giving me orders or asking me on a date.

"Yes, sir," I nodded as I dipped my hand into my pocket to grab the note, "Did you leave this?" I asked, holding it out to him.

"Of course, and you're lucky I came to check up on you," he smirked as he took the small piece of paper, "I found you face first in the rug with Bob Ross playing." I had a quick flash of a hazy memory, watching a show about painting trees and adoring every second.

"Well, thanks," I replied avoiding his eye contact. He moved his arm, resting his fingers under my chin, guiding me to face him as he leaned in to place a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Wear something nice," he added, moving his mouth close to my ear before stepping away and returning to his seat.

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 7 - PART 8 - PART 9 - PART 10 - PART 11

the lyrics at the beginning are from The Recluse by Cursive

The pleasure was almost too much to process, it was taking all I could do to lay there and absorb it all, I looked around and everyone was still asleep. His tongue lavished at my nub and my eyes rolled back and my hips started to shift. Then I saw a bright light, I thought it was my orgasm but in fact, it was someone turning the lights on, I opened my eyes to see everyone standing around me laughing as Eric rose up and wiped his mouth then he started laughing, the t-shirt was gone from my body so I covered my chest with my arms and curled my knees up.

"I told you it was gonna be fun to break you" Eric growled, before producing a riding crop, I screamed and then Jade appeared at my side began to shake me.

"NO!" I scream bolting right in bed, I looked around to see the lights on and the other initiates staring at me in worry. I started to hyperventilate. I looked down and I was still in my pajamas. Jade sat down and put her hands on my cheeks.

"Shade" she spoke softly

"No, I-" I started my voice breaking,

"I'm fine," I said my voice shaky

"What's going on here?" The voice of my least favorite person boomed

"She had a nightmare," Jade said

"Perhaps we should get her a bottle of warm milk"  Peter joked, I gave him a deadly glare to he smirked.

"You got 5 minutes to be down at the cafeteria" Four announced before he and Eric left.

I took a deep breath and shakily got ready. Jade asked me questions about my dream but I told her I wasn't ready to talk about it.

We were sparring with each other, I was chosen to spar with Peter.

"You look tired" he teased before he swept my leg causing me to fall, I slammed my hands on the ground growing more and more frustrated.

"Yeah, what can I say, your snoring is getting kind of loud" I punched him in the face.

"You know, you seemed to be enjoying your dream," he said with a smug expression

"What do you mean?" I eyed him suspiciously before kicking him in the head.

"You were moaning like someone was showing you a good time" he chuckled darkly

My gaze quickly flicked to Eric who was instructing Jade and Will with an annoyed expression, and when I turned back around I was given a backhand to the face that sent me to the ground. I glared as I touched my lip, I ran my tongue along it and looked up at him with a smirk.

"What are we, two girls in a fight...if you're gonna hit me....hit me....initiate" I growled using Eric's word, this caught his attention, he walked over to us.

"Problem?" Eric asked his eyebrows up but still a bored expression.

"No, just giving your mini-me some advice" I wiped my hand across my mouth and went back to position.

"Excuse me?" Eric said his brows now furrowed

"You heard me," I told him point blank

"Outside...now" Eric commanded me

Peter smiled at me before going to spar with someone else.

Eric shoved me against the wall, I've honestly lost track of how many times he's done this. But this time it felt different, there was an electric charge in the air that gave me goosebumps.

"Careful Eric, someone might think you're trying to corrupt me" I purr to him, he stiffens but relaxes for a moment.

"You wish initiate," he said gripping my chin forcefully looking at my lips

"I know what you're going to say" I told him "Respect me as your leader" I adopted a deep tone before snickering, he brought his face to mine, I can feel his hot breath on my mouth and I shiver as it travels to my neck before he presses an open mouth kiss to my neck. I gripped my fists to keep from burying my fingers through his hair. He meets my eyes once again.

"By the time this is over, you're gonna wish I killed you" he smiled sweetly before shoving me towards the infirmary.

"So, how are you feeling?" Mag said as she treated my busted lip.

"I'm fine," I say

"I heard you had a nightmare," she said

"News travels fast" I mutter

"You know I'm here if you need to talk," she said in a motherly tone

"I know," I say looking down to the ground.

"Alright kiddo, you're good to go" she patted my leg.

"I'm sorry about earlier" Peter muttered

"It's fine," I tell him before gingerly biting into my hamburger.

"Did I do any damage?" I ask him

"Yeah," he said and I finally looked at him, I had given him a bruised cheek, I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm glad you find my pain funny" he laughed humorlessly.

"Did you make Eric mad?" Jade asked

"I may have, I've lost track...why?" I ask her

"Because he's staring at you," she told me.

I turn my head and sure enough he is, he licks his lips then smirks, feeling a little brave I slowly licked mine, this causes his smirk to falter, and I smile before turning back to my friends.

The next few days went by just like always, we had reached the end of the first stage, we would be called to fight one more time. This time it would affect our ranking. I scanned the board and couldn't help but smirk when I saw who I was fighting, I would be fighting Peter again.

We approached each other in the ring.

"Fight" Eric called.

We slowly circled each other, Peter landed a punch to my forehead, I shook my head to clear my vision, I looked to his feet, he always stepped before he attacked. I looked back to his face, he swung at but I blocked him tripping his foot causing him slam to the ground. I kicked him in the ribs. I went to kick him again, he caught my ankle and twisted and I buckled, he climbed on top of me and repeatedly punched me before leaning down and whispering something that caused my blood to boil

"You're weak...like your Mother" he grins evilly.

I grabbed his head and head butted him, and with a snarl, I threw him off of me, I stood up and clenched my teeth. He took a stance holding his forehead for a moment. I saw my opportunity and landed a right hook to his temple knocking him out cold.

"That's pretty straight forward," Eric said while some people drug him off the mat.

I walked to the bench and grab some water and lean my head back.

"The winners will be announced at the Pit before dinner, and for those of you who are still around there will be a celebration in your honor," Eric said.

"You look absolutely gorgeous," I tell Jade as she emerges in a beautiful dress with Will by her side. He smiled down at her adoringly.

"You guys look so cute together" I pout my lips and pinch their cheeks.

"I think this is the first time, I've seen you in something without sleeves or a t-shirt" she chuckles.

"I thought I would change it up," I told her smoothing the dress down.

It was the dress Eric had insisted I buy. I also bought a pair of fishnets and black velvet platforms. I had french braided one side of hair so it looked like I shaved it, then put some dark red lipstick on, a coat of mascara and I was ready to go.

"I'm a lucky guy, two hot gorgeous girls on my arm" Will joked before Jade and I smirked.

A deep hypnotic rhythm filled the pit, the bass of the song seem to vibrate from the rocks, Will pulled Jade and me towards the area where people were dancing. The seductive rhythm caused me to sway to the music, a body pressed itself up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist, I smirked and turned around and saw it was Peter, I jerked away.

"Expecting someone else?" he quirked his eyebrow

"No," I say a little too quickly

"Sure, here I brought you a drink," he said handing me a metal cup with a black liquid in it.

"What is it?" I scrunch my nose

"It's Dauntless brewed beer, only for special occasions," he told me holding his cup.

"Alright listen up, the results of the first stage are in, for those of you who didn't make it, you must go back to the dorm grab your stuff and get out, and to make sure you understand a few guards will help to make sure you don't get lost" Max said before pressing a button, a huge screen descends from the ceiling.

I wake up from another dreamless sleep, I look up at the ceiling and for the first time in a long time I feel a tiny bit of excitement, today was the day I leave, a beam of sunlight hits my face illuminating the fresh black eye and bruised cheek, but I smile despite the pain. I'm free...

I stand up and walk to my bathroom wash my face tenderly and access the damage. My blue eyes were dull but were emphasized by the redness and circles under my eyes. After the beatings, I had become an expert at concealing the damage. I start to brush my hair and am reminded of the tenderness still remaining...

~Flashback~

"Now Emma" Allistair my father began as he sat on the side of the kitchen table, he took his hands and placed them over mine and gave them a firm squeeze. "You understand that I'm a man of position, people look to up to me, I'm under a lot of pressure from the other leaders. So, your answer to this question is very important" he said his grip getting tighter.

"Ok," I said quietly

"What were your test results?" his brown eyes bore into me. "D-dauntless" you stutter out.

His grip tightens as he lets out a vicious growl before he turns the table over and lunges for me, he wraps his hand around my neck and throws me to the floor, my vision grows bleary for a moment and the focuses on the sight of his feral face staring down at me. His fist drew back and I feel the impact through my head. I whimper before he grabs my hair and drags I across the floor into I room.

"You are going to stay here inCandor, you're not going anywhere," he says before he slams the door.

I pull myself into bed and began to cry. At that moment, I knew in order to survive I had to leave. I wasn't going to be the victim anymore. I was going to choose Dauntless so that I could protect other girls from being done this way.

~End of Flashback~

That had been one of the less severe beatings I received from your father, but the times I made him furious, he would take a riding crop and give me lashes. I remove my shirt and look at my back. I count at least 10 scars, but I knew there would be no more after today.

Today was Choosing Day. I had taken all the hurt, angry and fear and put it in a bubble in the pit of my stomach, I let it fester there until this day. My new life starts today, and that includes standing up to my father.

I slip my black and white dress on, it had a mixture of black and white lace paired with floral designs, I slipped my feet into black flats, I pinned half of my hair up and began to apply makeup to my face to cover the bruises, after finished my eyeliner and mascara, I found the one thing that I wanted to take with me. My mother's ring, it was given to her by her mother and she gave it to me shortly before she died, it was a gold band with a white moonstone set on it. I took one last look in the mirror and the room that served as my prison cell and walked downstairs.

He was sitting at the table in his leader uniform with his hands crossed in front of him a grim expression upon his face.

"Are you going to disappoint me today?" he asked simply "No Father, I won't disappoint you today" I smile sweetly "God, I'm glad that you see things my way" he grinned before standing up and guided me out the door.

"Johnson, Emma" my name was called Jeanine Matthews the leader of Erudite.

I slowly walk up to the 5 bowls, I grabbed the dagger and slid it across my hand and brought it over to the hot coals, my lips curling into a smirk when the blood sizzled.

"Dauntless," the announcer said and the sea of black erupted into cheers, I slowly turned back around and met my father's gaze head on, his eyes burned with fury, I met his fury with my own and took my place in my new faction.

After the ceremony was dismissed, I followed everyone out to the streets where we began to run, I gasp as I saw several members begin to crawl up the beam leading to the train tracks. I began my climb second thinking the dress I was in, but I climbed anyway.

I grasped my knees training to regain my breath when I heard the horn of train and saw several people running along side it and jumping in.I didn't hesitate one second before I sprinted after the train, I reached for a hand grab when a strong arm reached out and hauled me in just as the platform ended.

"Thanks" I gasp looking at the owner of the arm.

"No problem," a voice said, I immediately recognize the voice it was Peter, he smiled but it didn't reach his eyDid my

" Did my father send you?" I cross my arms and narrowed my eyes "No, I'm not one of your father's play things" he spat "Well, we'll see about that" I mutter before turning to look out the open door.

"Get ready" I hear a voice say, followed by whoops and cheers.

"They're jumping" I state "Together?" he asks

I nod and he and I run and jump and go flying through the air. He lands a bit more gracefully than I do, my hands and knees caught the brunt of the impact. I could feel the pain already beginning. I stand up and pick gravels out of the skin of my hands and knees. I brush myself off. I see the other initiates gathered in a group and hear a voice talking, it's deep in timbre and rough, it sends a small shiver down my spine. I walk up to join them.

"You,"the voice says.

The crowd parts and everyone is looking at me. I look around and see that all eyes are on me.

"Yes" I stutter "Come here now"the voice commanded.

I gulp and walk up to him, the first thing that I see is a steel blue pair of eyes, next to a piercing at his right temple. I also see two huge tattoos on each side of his neck in a block pattern and the very last thing I notice is the stone cold expression he's giving me.

"You've just volunteered" he smiles showing his perfect teeth. "Volunteered?" I squeak out.

"Yes, you see INITIATE  in order to get into Dauntless, you have to jump off the ledge" he sneered the word initiate.

My heart shutters and I can feel my hands start to sweat. I remember the bubble of anger in my stomach.

"Fine,"I say sternly, more sternly than I felt.

He jumps down from his perch and scowls before he walks to join the others.

I hope up onto the ledge and look down at the gaping whole. I took a deep breath and jump.

I feel my stomach drop, my heart beats loudly like a drum in your ears, I brace myself for the inevitable impact.

WHOOSH!

My back hits somethings springy, and I'm back up in the air only to fall back down, I finally stop bouncing and I take a breath to register what happen. A net, I hit a net. I breathlessly giggle, I feel the net move as I roll to the side, I meet a pair of chocolate brown eyes, the man had tanned skin and beautiful lips.

"You get pushed?" he asked "No," I say

He picks me up and sets me on the ground.

"Name?" he asks me I begin to say Emma but take a moment to think. "It a hard one?" he asked smirking "No, Shade my name is Shade," I say finally.

"First jumper...Shade, Welcome to Dauntless" he says

Once all the initiates had jumped, one last figure is seen falling from the open hole in the sky. It was the man who had volunteered to jump first. He expertly rolled out of the net and lowered himself to the ground. His biceps practically ripping the fabric as he did so. I couldn't help but admire them. He really was handsome. He slowly turns around and smirks at me before he walks to join brown eyes.

We were instructed to follow the one called Four, I had snicker internally at his name, he gave us a tour and showed us where our dorms were. I started to follow the rest of them when I was stopped by Four.

"Initiate you're going to the infirmary," he says "Why?" I ask "Because you're bleeding," he says

I look down at my knees and he was right blood began to drip down my legs and my hands were pretty roughed up too.

"This way, " he says before walking ahead. I reluctantly follow him.

"Hey, Mag" Four he calls out to the middle-aged woman wearing a black lab coat along wither her uniform a stethoscope hanging from her neck.She looks in his direction and a smile blooms. "Four," she says and then her eyes follow me and her smile falters a little.

"She needs her knees and hands looked at" he informs her. "Alright, just sit right here," she said as she patted the black stretcher.

Everything was black or red here. The infirmary looked more like a military hospital, one big open room with cots lined on each wall along with a few lines in the middle. Even the sheets were black.

I hop up and show her my hands.

"It's not that bad, some gravel got embedded in my hands and knees, but  I managed to get the ones out of my knees, the ones in my hands, however, are proving a bit more difficult. One they're out we can wash them out with some saline, then some antibiotic cream and some gauze, I'll be good as new" I told them looking at my hands. I was greeted with silence.

I looked up and they both stared at me in amusement.

"You heard her....The nurse can we get some saline, antibiotic cream, some gauze and tape" Mag called out with a grin.

"You seem to know about wound care" Four states his brow quirked. "I was a clumsy kid" I answer automatically, his look said he didn't believe me. "Right, well once you're finished here, change into your Dauntless clothes and go to the cafeteria" he nodded before leaving.

I sat in silence while the nurses tended to my wounds Mag supervised.

"Mag,"I say "Yes?" she replied "Do you have anything for bruises?" I ask

"Yes, we have a cream from Erudite that makes them fade away almost overnight, why are you asking initiate?" she asked her eyebrows furrowing. "Never mind" I shake my hand "You wouldn't have asked without a reason, you're gonna learn to speak up here initiate" she crossed her arms.

"I was coming down the stairs yesterday and fell face first, I've got some bruising," I say "Well, I need to see them to make sure you didn't break anything," she says I nod, she hands me a wet wipe and I begin to wipe my makeup off, and she gasped, taking my chin and tilting my head, she presses gently. "Nothing is broken, I'll get you some cream," she said before disappearing.

The nurses continued with my hands when the door shot open and there he stood, his blue eyes scanning the beds and he caught my gaze and he had sneer on his face, before scanning my face and his look relaxed as his met mine something flashed in his eyes before he slipped on his emotionless face back on. He made his way to the bed.

"What happened?" he barked "She hit the gravel too hard" the nurses inform him. "The gravel give her a black eye too?" he sneered "I fell down the steps yesterday," I tell him "Right" he sarcastically said "Oh Eric, to what do we owe the pleasure," Mag said "I'm here to check on why my initiate isn't with the other recruits," he said stoically

"Four sent her here, she had a little scrape and needed some tending to," she said before she opened the tube had in her hand and I titled my head and winced a little when she massaged the cream in. "I'm sending the tub with you, you'll need it during initiation" Mag gives a hard look to Eric before leaving us.

Eric crossed his arms and his biceps bulged. I met his eyes straight on, his eyes were cold and lifeless.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?" he says taking a step closer to me, his scent is intoxicating. "I told you," I said jumping off the stretcher and turning to walk the door when Eric grabbed my arm forcefully and made me face him. "You will show me respect," he said through clenched teeth, I look at him and nod quickly and I felt his fingers tighten more painfully, I was sure I'd have bruises. "Now, leave" he ordered before releasing me and walking out the door.

My mind raced with possibilities, I was brought out of my thoughts by a hand slapping me on the back, I turned to see Peter sitting next to me,

“Hello Outsider” he sneered.

My stomach was already in knots, but the word “outsider” twisted my gut, even more, I took a deep steadying breath and slipped on my mask of control.

“Hello, Peter” I reply through my clenched teeth.

“You alright? You look a little anxious, afraid everyone will find out your deep little secret?” He inquired.

A brief flash of panic filled me before I reigned in my emotions.

“What secret would that be? That I hate you?” I quip back at him with a scowl

“You know exactly what secret I’m talking about...Outsider” he whispered

I pinch my nose trying my best to fend off an oncoming headache.

“You know what Peter I’ve been through a lot over the past few days, so save your petty threats for someone who is afraid of you” I mutter through clenched teeth.

Before he has a chance to respond I’m called back into the simulation room, I wasn’t surprised to see Eric standing there, anxiety already churned in my gut as I once again pondered the horrors that await me.

Eric gestures for me to take a seat, I sat and lied down staring up at the bright fluorescent light.

“We are going to inject you with a serum that will put you under simulation, you will experience your worst fears in the sims” he said as he swabbed my neck, Eric’s eyes quickly scan my face and a brief flicker of emotion passes through him before his mask of control slips back into place.

The cold steel pressing into my warm skin reminding me that this was all real and I was about to experience my worst fear, the worst part about it was that I couldn’t use the trick that Tris uses otherwise they would suspect me of being Divergent and that would put an even larger target on my back.

I feel a pinch and I look at Eric who traced the injection side lightly with his finger before speaking the familiar lines “Be Brave”.

Everything around me faded into black as my eyes fluttered shut and I was drawn into the abyss of unconsciousness.

My heavy eyes lifted and I am back in the simulation room I slowly stand to my feet and walk towards the door, I hesitantly take hold of the handle and turn it slowly, I take a deep breath trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever may be on the other side of this door.

I found myself in the Pit, I immediately noticed all of the members staring at the wall, they were mumbling, the sounds echoed off the wall creating a buzzing sound, a sound that seemed to prick at my back and cause chills to run up my spine, I cautiously approached the people only to have them turn in one swift move to face me, my hand coming up to my mouth as I took in the sight before me, their faces were blank, where eyes, noses, and mouths should have been now only flat skin remained. They were faceless zombies.

I was so struck by the sight in front of me I hadn’t noticed them forming a circle around me, the humming seemed to grow in intensity and they slowly walked towards me, I was quickly surrounded, they began to claw at me, tearing at my clothes, I screamed fighting back as hard as I could, two of them held me down on each side while another one approached me with what looked like a needle and thread, and my stomach twisted at what it could possibly be for.

Two hands held my mouth closed as the one holding the needle pressed the tip into my skin, tears welling up in my eyes as I struggle tirelessly against my faceless captors, with each poke of the needle going in my skin I could hear the buzzing grow louder as if they were enjoying the show. I felt the warm trickle of blood slide down my neck, once they had finished they began to tear at my clothes once again this time not stopping until I stood before them completely naked shivering with fear, I try my best to cover my modesty and push my way through the crowd, sparing only a glance to see if I’m being followed and sure enough the crowd was coming after me.

I stopped when I reached the Chasm, the cold air adding to my trembling form, I looked down at the roaring waters unsure of what to do.

“You’re going to have to jump,the cliffs surface” a deep voice said.

I look to my right and see Eric emerging from the shadows with a grim expression.

I shake my head.

“They’ll tear you limb from limb if they catch you, at least this way you’ll be in control of how you go out” he smiles his eyes cold inside before his features melt away those of the faceless army and him come barreling towards me and in that moment I make the decision to jump.

I feel my bones crack as I hit the surface of the cliff before I plunge into the dark frozen murky water.

My eyes flutter open and I’m back in the simulation room, I lift my head only for a moment take in my surroundings, I open my mouth to say something but am unable to because my mouth is still sewn shut.

Eric once again appeared at my side, a look of mock sympathy on his face, a cold hand strokes my forehead, I try and shift away but can no longer move my limbs.

“I know you must be in a lot of pain” he pouted his lips. “Don’t worry though, the good doctor here will have you patched up in no time”  he assured me before a man in doctors scrubs stepped up beside him.

“Your injuries require immediate treatment,” the Doctor said before he snapped his glove into place, he held up a scalpel and rotated it as he inspected it.

“Now this won’t hurt at all,” he said before lowering his scalpel to my skin.

He slices a neat line down the front of my thighs all the way to my ankle, then from my shoulder to my wrist, blood seeping from the wounds, I was helpless, while I couldn’t move my limbs I can still feel each pass of the blade and tears ran freely down my face.

“These little beauties are from Amity” both the Doctor and Eric hold up large jars full of insects, I shake my head this only causes them to grin evilly.

They unscrew the lid from the jars and pouring the bugs onto my naked body, they immediately began to burrow under my skin and into my wounds, I thrash my head around trying to will my body to move, I can feel them nibbling away at my insides, I scrunch my eyes closed as I feel them eating away at me, I work my mouth back and forth hoping to loosen the stitches, I managed, the pain no longer mattered, “Get them off me” I mumbled loudly

And with one more determined tug, the stitches tore through the flesh of my lips taking chunks out as they went.

“Get them off me” I screeched, a slight tickling sensation formed between my eyes as they began to eat my eyeballs.

“GET THEM OFF ME” I screamed.

The feeling returned to my limbs and I cover my eyes with my hands and scratch at the bugs trying to remove them, when two hands grabbed my wrists.

“Aeryn!” a voice barked,

“Get them off me” I pleaded trying to free my hands only for the grip to tighten,

“Four get in here now!” the deep voice ordered.

I keep screaming for them to get off me, I felt thumbs press themselves against my eye lids prying them open, and I see a faceless Eric.

“Let go of me” I snarled. “We need to sedate her” Four came through the door with a syringe. “NO!” I fought against Eric’s hold only for him to grab my head and tilt it to right.

Those days seem like such a long time ago now, since the attack on Abnegation, I, along with the other initiates, remained in the city and sought refuge in Candor. Eric, along with Max, had been in league with Jeanine to wage a full scale war with Abenegation and the Divergents.

I lie on my bed, staring up at the ceiling while consumed with my thoughts and memories.So consumed, that I didn’t hear Christina come into my room.

“Tris and Four are back” she told me with a small smile.

I sat up slowly and took a measured breathe before I responded.

“That’s good, was Will with them?” I asked her, knowing her fear that he might have been hurt.

“No, Tris said she hadn’t seen him” she explained, a sad expression on her face.

“Any news of Eric?” I asked quietly, pretending not to see the hardness in her eyes. “He was last seen chasing after Tris and Four” she stated simply before turning and walking away.

Everyone gathered around Four and Tris as they told of Jeanine's plan and how Eric and Max had been in on it the whole time. After he finished, I caught Four’s gaze and his eyes softened briefly.

“Eric’s a monster” someone next to me snarled.

“He needs to be caught and executed” another voice chimed in.

When my chest tightened I broke away from the crowd to go to the roof, a place I often went when I needed silence. The cool air hit my face and I felt like I could breathe again. Eric had done bad things that was true, but they never saw Eric behind closed doors, a subtle change would come over him. He was a little less tense and more tender with me, and I wish other people could see that.

Tris and Four stood trial for their accusations against Jeanine and they turned out to be true, and Jack had offered Candor’s full support and cooperation against Jeanine, but in the process Christina found out that Tris had killed Will. Once the serum had worn off, Tris ran away and Four went to find her, while outside the trial room, I embraced Christina as she cried. I felt her stiffen as Tris came near us, Christina clenched her jaw and walked away before Tris could apologize.

Tris looked at me but I looked away, and Four wrapped his arm around Tris and kissed her temple as they walked away. I tried to embrace her again but she shook her head and disappeared into the crowd. I once again sought solace on the roof.

Night had fallen and as I looked out into the city I hear the creak of the door being opened and I turned to see Tris.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, turning back to the horizon.

“Just needed a place to think” she sighed heavily.

“Things seem smaller from here” I confided.

“Addie, you need to forget about Eric” Tris blurted. “Don’t you think I’ve tried Tris? That I haven’t tried to tell myself not to love him?” I snapped at her.

“He’s responsible for the death of innocent people, he’s a murderer” Tris argued.

“I know that, but do you think Four is innocent? He was a Leader too Tris, do you think he’s killed? Do you really think he tells you everything?” I barked. She opened her mouth to speak when the windows around us started to shatter as zip lines were shot into them from the opposite buildings.

“It’s Erudite” Tris yelled.

We both ran towards the stairs, and the sound of gunfire filled the stairwell as we made our way down. I heard bodies hit the ground and looked back just in time to see Tris fall. I quickly open the door, deflecting any shots towards me, finding myself back in the living room and spinning around, only to feel a sharp pinch to the back of my neck causing my knees to crumple and lose consciousness.

“You think she’s safe now?” a deep familiar voice taunts.

“You’re wrong” it continues,

“Jeanine’s never gonna stop looking for you” it states.

“Why? What does she want with her?” another voice asks.

“Tell me” the other voice insisted. I will my heavy lids to open, my visions blurred as my eyes slowly obey. I blink back against the harsh lights and see Eric on his knees with his hands behind his back, Four standing in front of him and Tris standing with her back to me.

“Look, all I know is that she’s exactly what Jeanine needs, she’s the perfect subject” Eric told Four, who briefly looked at Tris then returned his gaze to Eric and cocked the gun in his hand.

The sound of the barrel being primed brought me to full attention. I knew what Four was going to do and I couldn’t let him I couldn’t live in a world without Eric, no matter what he did.

Eric smirked “What, is that supposed to scare me?”

“You are responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, you know the punishment for that” Four reminded him.

“Listen, I’ve found a way to live with the blood on my hands...can you?” he asks, his blue eyes staring up at him in a silent challenge.

Four started to raise his gun. “NO!” I scream.

They turned, shocked to see me standing there.

“Don’t shoot, Four” I told him, slowly walking towards him.

“I have to, he’s a murderer” Four insisted.

Tris tried to restrain me but I jerked free.

I came to stand beside Eric.

“While you were a Leader at Dauntless...how many people did you kill Four?” I asked, looking him directly in the eye.

“What about you Tris? You killed Will, your friend” I reminded her.

“Get out of the way Addie” Four barked.

I shook my head slowly.

Tris wrapped her arms around my waist and once again tried to pull me away as Four raised his gun I struck her against her temple with my elbow and she immediately released me, and I turned, wrapping my arms around Eric’s neck shielding him from the bullet. I felt as it hit my side, falling limp against Eric who shuddered in horror.

“Addie!” he yelled. I held onto Eric to keep myself upright,feeling his heart thundering against mine as he struggled against his restraints. He managed to free himself and lay me down, pressing his now free hands against the wound to staunch the bleeding. “Addie, why did you do that?” he gruffly asked, his voice trembling. “Eric, I love you” I choke out.

“You shouldn’t” he sneered.

“I know” I chuckled, which turned into a cough, blood staining my lips.

“I shouldn’t love you back” he stated.

“But I do…” he brokenly whispered.

I raised a hand to Eric’s face

“Please do something for me” I asked

“Save the Divergents, go against Jeanine and fight with all that you have in you” I whispered, my voice growing weak.

“I will” he vowed.

I smiled as he lowered his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, my eyes growing heavy once more, this time closing for the last time.

"Oh," I mumbled feeling the blood rush from my ears across my cheeks, "No, no, uh, not really," my eyes drifted downwards to study the glass in my hand.

"That's not what I heard," Kelly chimed in, "Jay said he overheard Eric saying you were a thing."

"You really think Eric would go steady with someone?" Mae countered, coming to my defense.

"That's why everyone's talking," Nike explained, "This is the longest Eric's ever been with only one girl," I felt miniscule under the girls' scrutiny. I could feel them watching me, waiting for me to finally tell them every rumor is true.

"Last I heard was that you're knocked up and going to get hitched," Kelly added with a shrug as she took a drink.

"That's ridiculous," I finally stated lifting my head to return their stares, "We haven't even done that much, how could I be pregnant?"

There was a pause after I spoke, "So you have done something with him?" Kelly smirked.

"I mean," my face felt like it was on fire as I nervously reached up to scratch the back of my neck, "Yeah, but nothing much."

"Come on guys, give Mott a break," Mae tried to deter the conversation but her friends merely leaned in closer, excited.

"So how big is he?" Nike asked, my eyes going wide at the question. "I bet Eric's got a giant dick."

"Are you kidding me?" Kelly scoffed, "With his ego? I'm sure he's tiny and over compensating," she held up her pinky as an example. Mae shook her head taking another drink, "So come on, dish."

"I, uh," I stammered, "I don't really have a frame of reference."

"Wait he's your first?" Mae asked, surprised, "By you were Amity."

"Yeah well, I had a girlfriend then," I muttered before taking another giant swig of my drink.

"But you've seen it right?" Nike asked, I nodded in responce as she set down her glass. "Was it like this long?" She began holding her hand close together, "Or like this?" she moved her hands further apart slowly, but I just shrugged.

"I mean it was kind of big," I mumbled, curling the fingers on my free hand, trying to remember what it had been like when I held him, "Like that, I guess?" I lifted my hand up to show them, "And he hit the back of my throat," I was embarrassed talking in detail about this with people I'd just met, but I had the feeling they weren't going to judge me for it. The two nodded looking to at each other then back to me.

"You know I'm kinda jealous," Kelly mentioned as she leaned forward, resting her elbow on the kitchen island, with her chin in her palm, "If you did marry Eric, no one would fuck with you."

"Yeah," Nike agreed pointing at Kelly, "You could get away with anything you wanted just 'cus everyone's so scared of him."

"So Mott, you got a new tattoo, right?" Mae interjected looking at me, "I noticed the ink on the back of your neck. Is it big?"

"Oh yeah," I smiled slightly glad to have the subject changed. I set down my glass and turned so my back faced the others, as I bunched up my shirt, "I got it almost two weeks ago, my friend Rachel took me."

"Ohh very nice," I could hear Nike admiring the work as I looked back over my shoulder.

"Rachel Dios?" Kelly asked, making a sour face without even looking at the tattoo.

"Yeah, she has full sleeves," I confirmed, gesturing to my arms, "I was nervous to go alone, so she took me. Do you know her?"

"You could say that," Kelly took a sip from her drink as she stood up, "She went with my friend Anise for a while."

"Wait she did? I thought that wasn't, like 'official', that they just hooked up," Nike asked making air quotes with her fingers.

"Well Anise thought it was official but then Rachel just dropped her like a bag of bricks without warning. She just stopped talking to her one day and when Anise got a chance to ask Rachel after hunting her down, she said she was bored and that it hadn't been serious," Kelly elaborated with a skeptical tone, "You watch out for her, she's two-faced," she added looking back at me.

"Yeah ok," I nodded distractedly. All that was on my mind was that I hadn't spoken with Rachel since I got the tattoo.

The next morning I watched over my shoulder as Alexander and Rodney left the office. I was once again delegated to sorting files. Dropping my arms, I sighing as I crossed the office to my makeshift fort.

"Is something wrong, Mott?" Eric asked in response to my exasperation, much to my surprise.

I hesitated knowing I should say nothing, but I had been so anxious recently I couldn't help but ask, "When can I go back to working on the fence?"

"Never," He stated without lifting his eyes from the papers on his desk.

"What?" I questioned, stepping forward, "Why not?"

Eric looked bored as he lifted his face to my gaze, "Because it was requested that I send someone else," he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone as my expression fell.

"That can't be right," I stammered, "I thought I was doing well." Eric sighed as he turned to look at his computer, clicking on something with his mouse. I leaned forward trying to see his screen as he pulled up an archive of messages.

"Here," he stated pulling up the scan of a watch log's notes, turning the monitor towards me.

I looked over the page reading the words. My stomach dropped as I saw what it said, highlighting my insufficiency as a guard monitor and suggesting I be delegated to data collection and synthesis, or monitoring something other than actual people.

"Ok," I finally mumbled with a hard swallow. I struggled to keep my expression neutral as Eric turned his monitor back and I shuffled to hide behind my manila wall to work on sorting files.

I sat cross legged on the floor brooding as I looked over the pages of reports. I could barely pay attention as I flipped through the ppapers, moving the folders to the appropriate pile. I was thinking about a hundred things at once, everything from what Kelly and Nike had said about Rachel all the way back to when I'd last spoken with Johanna.

"Mott," Eric barked suddenly, wrenching me from my thoughts, "Where's my stapler?"

"Did you look to the right corner next to to the pens, where I put it every time I clean your desk?" I shot back without even having to look up.

"Hand it to me," he ordered, finally drawing my attention up.

"Why?" I countered, finally glaringing at him past the stack of folders.

"Because I'd like to watch you do it," he stated with a blank face.

I let out a large sigh as I stood up, taking a single step to his desk. Leaning forward, I grabbed the stapler and moved it about six inches closer to his hand before I asked, "There? Enjoy that?" Eric's hand shot forward to mine.

"Listen I don't know what's stuck up your ass today, and I don't care," he snarled as his fist wrapped tighter over mine, "So lose the attitude or you'll have hell to pay." I stood there silently for a moment not breaking eye contact as his fingers dug into my knuckles.

"Yes, sir," I finally spat, letting the words drop from my mouth onto his desk. I yanked my hand away once his grip slackened and turned on my heel with a huff.

"Get me the logs and records for the end of September, specifically the twenty-first," Eric ordered once I had sat back down.

"Are you serious?" I groaned as I threw my head back, annoyed with his timing.

"I told you to watch it," he shot as I stood up shuffling across the room while sneering at him. I pulled open the drawer and dug through the files, taking out the exact one he requested.

"Here you go, sir," I said in a saccharin tone as I handed the folder to Eric, "Is there anything else that you need me to do?" I gave him the sweetest smile I could manage as I wished for his immolation with my eyes.

"Got quite the mouth on you. Maybe you should make it useful," he replied, smirking as he yanked the folder from my grasp.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," I countered with a deadpan expression as I flopped back onto the hard tile floor behind the wall of my fort. I had returned to my sorting for less than a minute when Eric cleared his throat.

"Mott," he barked, "get me the file for September ninth."

"You gotta be kidding me," I groaned as I stood back up, crossing the room again to the filing cabinet. "Here," I threw the folder down in front of him, before again turning around to my previous work.

"Wait." I let out another audible sigh as I spun around to face him, "This is the wrong file, I asked for the eighth."

"No you asked for the ninth, and I gave you the folder for the ninth, so it is the correct folder," I challenged, resting my hands on my hips, "You're the one who was wrong."

"That doesn't matter. This is not the file I need, so it is the wrong file," Eric elaborated through clenched teeth, tossing the folder over the desk, causing the loose leaf pages from within it to fly out across the floor as it spun in the air. "Clean that up then get me the correct folder."

I stood there, my fists balled at my sided, trying to keep my breathing even as I exhaled through my nose, "Yes, sir."

I crouched on the floor over the mess, leaning forward onto my knees to gather the scattered sheets of paper. I tried my hardest to ignore the feeling of his eyes on me for as long as I could, but I had little to no patience left.

"What are you leering at?" I snapped over my shoulder as I straightened the pages in my hand.

"Your ass," he replied in matter of fact tone.

"You're an ass," I mumbled under my breath as I tucked the papers into the flooder and stood up.

"What was that?" he asked as I crossed back towards the filing cabinet. I stopped mid step to turn and face him.

"I said, you. are. an. ass." I spoke slowly, punctuating the pauses between words to ensure he heard me clearly. I had barely finished speaking when he crossed the room in three long strides.

"I warned you," his voice dropped an octave as he leaned over me. My stomach jumped at his tone as I stood frozen in his gaze. We stayed still like that for an eternity, our eyes locked in an mutually angry glare.

I don't really have an explanation for what happened next, it kind of just happened. I moved without thinking, acting only on how I felt. I was sick of feeling rejected by Rachel, I missed being with someone who wanted me like Layla, and I was sick of this moment of silent tension. So I reached up, curling my fingers around Eric's shirt collar and yanking him towards me. Our teeth gnashed as I brought my lips up to his, wrapping an arm around his neck to hold him close.

Eric was quick to catch on. Pulling my hips in, he returned my affections with equal fervor as I sucked and bit his lips. I pushed myself hard against his chest as he ran his hands across my bottom to the back of my thighs. Just the feeling of his fingers through my clothes made my skin tingle. I clung to his neck as he stood up, lifting my legs to envelope waist.

I could tell without looking that he was carrying me to the empty spare desk in the corner. I had moved it against the wall to open up some floor space for the construction of Fort Manila. Eric stumbled forward, much more interested in biting the skin under my ear and the sounds I made in response than paying attention to where he was going.

As Eric moved, blind to his surroundings, he walked directly into one of my fort's outer turrets. I wrenched my face away from his as the hundreds of folders and pages spilled out, scattering across the floor. I tried to lower my legs but Eric's fingers dug into my skin keeping me in place.

"You can pick it up later, I'm not done," He growled into my ear before recapturing my lips. He broke apart for a breath as he swung his foot to the side, knocking over another stack. I grabbed his shoulders trying to see the damage done as he pushed me onto the desk. He pulled my face forward, biting my lip as his other thumb ran slowly up my inner thigh and I was lost again. Spurred on by the persuasive fire in my belly, I balled the cloth over his shoulders in my fists and pulled myself against him, trying to ignore the feeling of his smirk against my lips.

I whined as Eric bit my pulse point and ran his hand up abdomen. His fingers were cold against my skin as they slipped under the band of my bra. He twisted my hips so I fell to the side, lying across the top of the desk as he pushed my shirt up. Diving forward he rolled my nipple between his teeth as my hands flew up covering my mouth to stifle the noises I was making. With one hand he deftly undid the zipper to my pants before sliding his fingertip just past the waistband, teasingly rubbing against the unexposed skin.

"Please," I pined as he moved, leaving wet kisses on my sternum.

"Please what?" he questioned slowly quirking an eyebrow, obviously revelling that he had me such a position of duress.

"Please touch me," I elaborated, looking up him through my eyelashes, but I could tell he wasn't satisfied with my response. "Touch me the way you did the other night," I pouted.

"Like this?" he hummed, slowly moving his hand, dragging his finger ever so slightly across my clit. I bit my lip as he held my gaze with a hungry stare.

"Please," I continued to plead, watching as his tongue darted out across his bottom lip. I threw my head back as he finally pressed down giving me the fiction and stimuli I wished for. I grabbed at his head pulling his lips to mine as his hand continued to move. I tried to kiss him as I gasped in response to his fingers. I could feel as he slid his middle finger down past my clit towards my center. I groaned as his digit moved inside of me.

"Ow," I mumbled pulling away, "No, that hurts," I whined as he continued.

"Just relax," he hummed against my throat as he to pumped his hand back and forth, simultaneously rubbing his thumb against my clit. Slowly but surely, I began to enjoy it. I unconsciously rolled my hips with the rhythm of his hand as I clawed at his shoulders, his teeth scraping along my collarbone. I moaned as the new tension inside of me built closer to it's collapsing point.

He stopped suddenly, drawing his hand back as his lips ghosted over my jaw bone, "Say you're mine."

"But-," I protested as he taunted me, moving the calloused pad of his thumb slowly around my sensitive nerves.

"Say it," he ordered, his breath hot against my skin.

"Fine, I'm your's, please, just let me come," I cried before he pushed his lips on mine, kissing me hard as he rocked his hand faster than before. I shook as the orgasm washed over me, arching my back into him as he grinned against my mouth.

Eric rested his hand on the table next to my head, holding himself above me while studying my form as I caught my breath. I blushed under his scrutiny, turning away from his gaze as I reached to pull my top down. He batted my hands away, adjusting my bra and lowering my shirt for me.

"You should probably get started sorting that," he suggested, jerking his head toward the mess on the floor before leaning forward and pecking my lips. He stood up, straightening his clothes before returning to his seat as I laid on the desk trying to steady my breathing and gather my thoughts.

I pulled my knees closer to my chest as I sat, curled up on a boulder along the edge of The Chasm. I wiped away a stray tear as I watched the current good-will boxing match. I sat alone at the edge of the crowd barely paying attention the punches thrown. I sighed as I rested my chin on my knees, still utterly confused by this morning. Did I like Eric or did I just like what he did to me?

"Mott! I've been looking all over for you!" a familiar voice called, their hands resting on my shins as I looked up at Mae.

"Hey what's up?" I asked quickly wiping at my eyes as I forced a smile.

"Check it out!" she exclaimed holding up the back of her left hand to me, so I could see the large tattoo on her ring finger.

"You got married?" I questioned, my eyes going wide.

"Yup!" she bounced on the balls of her feet, obviously still elated by the fact, "Jason and I eloped last night!"

"I'm so happy for you," I replied giving a genuine smile as I slid forward from my seat on the rock to give her a hug. She stiffened slightly under my embrace but still reached up to pat my shoulder in response.

"So anyway," Mae continued pushing me back by my shoulders, "I'm moving in with Jason now, right? And housing said my apartment would go off to someone via lottery, unless I knew somebody who wanted it, and of course I first thought of you," she explained, squeezing my shoulders.

"What?" I stuttered, amazed by her offer.

"You'd get my old apartment, which is one room really but also all the furniture since I don't need it," I couldn't believe the offer at first, I was more than sick of the dorms and then suddenly this chance fell into my lap.

"Yes, of course! I'll take it!" I grinned at Mae as she returned my expression, "Thank you so much."

"It's nothing!" she replied with a wave of her hand, "I'm glad it's going to someone I know."

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 6 - PART 7 - PART 8 - PART 9 - PART 10 - PART 11

The lyrics at the begining are form the song Camouflage, Camouflage by The Blood Brothers

The only thing I missed from Amity was being outside in the sun. Playing in the fields where there were no walls and I could run free. Here at Dauntless I felt like a mole, constantly scurrying through damp underground tunnels, barely ever seeing the sky. Though over years I'd grown accustomed to the darkness. It had become familiar and running in the grass was now only a memory of childhood folly, something I did only in my dreams.

It wasn't until I started to move, yawning as I sat on the edge of the bed, that I noticed the clock. The glowing red letters flashed, reading '12:00'. The power must have gone out in the night and so, not only had my alarm not gone off, I had no idea how late I was. The one thing I did know, was that Eric was going to kill me.

Ten minutes later I stood outside his office door, trying to catch my breath after sprinting across the compound before I went in.

"Mott. You're late," a stern male voice rang out the instant I opened the door. Eric stood over his desk, leaning forward on his knuckles, illuminated from behind by a fluorescent lamp. He looked as imposing as ever. Across the desk stood three other men. All were at ease with their hands behind their backs as they collectively looked over their shoulders at me.

"I know sir," I began, closing the door behind me. I stood still and straight with my hands to my side as I finished, "The power went out in my dormitory during the night. My alarm never went off, sir." I could see the muscles in his cheeks as his jaw tensed, contemplating my excuse. He studied me through squinted eyes for an uncomfortably long amount of time before he stood up straight.

"Fall in," he commanded with a wave, turning to look back to the other underlings. I hurried over, standing in line and mimicking their stance, keeping my hands clasped behind me.

"As I was saying. Jason will be working on arranging the details of the rotation schedule of the fence for next month. Alexander and Rodney will be acting as my proxy for a meeting with Johanna about her request for an the increase of guards for the food convoys to the city." He looked to each as he spoke, and they all responded with a curt nod, showing they understood. Then he turned his eyes to me, "And you will be the stenographer for my meetings today." I tried to ignore his smirk and focused on keeping my face still, not letting him see my disappointment.

I applied for the leadership training program on a whim, surprised that I actually qualified. I had done well in initiation only because I was stronger than everyone else. Most of the transfer class had been from Erudite and spent their lives reading and studying. While across the city I had grown up doing manual labor on the farm. I prefered it though, I could never sit still long enough to read a book. And I never would've thought that having to lug around bags of feed all day would help me survive the hazing in Dauntless.

Being accepted to train under the leaders is supposed to be a great honor, one people have literally killed for, but I wish I had never been selected. I'd rather be out on the wall doing patrol than having to stand here without moving, obeying the every command of a sadistic asshole.

The jobs he delegated to us were supposed to be on rotation, so we'd all spend equal time learning the different skills needed for a leader of Dauntless, but he did not do that. I never got to be a proxy, or even leave the compound. I would either be stuck with menial tasks or forced to act as a glorified secretary.

I had to stand there still, waiting as he explained the specific details of their tasks to each of the boys. With a wave of his hand he dismissed the others before turning to me.

"We're going to Erudite," he stated with a grin.

I hurried behind Eric trying to keep up as he took long strides across the concrete towards the entrance to the compound. I kept my head down, trying to avoid looking at the newest addition to their courtyard. Just the thought of it made me shudder. At first glance it looks to be a stage. A simple platform held up by two neon orange beams that arch above with closer inspection, you can see the series of noises that hang from the brightly colored joists as the ropes sway in the wind.

The public executions of the Divergent and their sympathisers was a regular occurrence now. It was used as a way to shame and vilify those who were different, while also bringing the city closer through a shared hatred. I despised the noise of the the crowd cheering for the death of the wrongdoer and avoided it when I could, always offering to work long hours on those days.

Once inside the conference room, I was seated to Eric's right at the large meeting table. There were about five other people around the table, each accompanied by their own assistants. Once Jenean started talking I began to type on the small tablet, mindlessly taking notes of everything said. This continued for hours as they reviewed plans and discussed future changes.

"Today's execution will be at seven o'clock," one of the men eventually stated. I could tell by his black suit and white lapels that he was Candor, where all the trials are held. "Four factionless caught trying to steal food, and two of them tested positive for divergence," he explained before handing around papers that listed the details for the event later today.

Eric tossed the sheet to me without looking at it. I scanned the page quickly, moving to tuck it in with the other notes when something caught my eye.

There in black ink at the bottom of the list was her name.

4. Baker, Layla

I froze with the sheet of paper in my hands as my mind was thrown back to the last time we were together under the willow.

She was wearing the yellow jumper I had made her as we laid against the trunk in the early summer shade of the tree, our heads resting together while idly playing with each others fingers. The light of the setting sun filtered through the leaves, blanketing us in a warm speckled glow.

"Inconclusive? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked quietly as I rubbed my thumb across her knuckles. It was the day after our placement tests, I got Dauntless and I was sure she would too. I thought we were going to be together forever.

I could remember looking up at her, watching the way the sunlight danced across her face making her dark skin glow. Everyone would say that her eyes were black like oil, but in moments like this when we were alone, I could see the warm brown of her irises as they glinted in the sun.

"It means I don't belong here," she whispered, water welling in her eyes.

"You belong with me," I pressed unable to imagine where she would go. There was only the city. There was only the factions.

"I'm running away," she stated, looking at me as a tear ran down her cheek, "I'm leaving tomorrow, I found a way out."

I was speechless as she took my hand and held it to her chest, "Come with me," she pleaded.

"I- I can't," I stuttered. I felt like my world was collapsing around me. Suddenly all my hopes for the future now sat under foot in jagged broken shards.

"You can't or you won't?" she replied in a biting tone.

"I- I'm going to Dauntless, and you are too. You're going with me," I said, hoping she'd agree.

"Don't you understand?" she pressed, begging with her eyes for me to comprehend, "I can't live in the city, Mott, I'm not like everyone else. I don't fit in. Please, just come with me," a million different possibilities raced through my mind at once. How could someone survive without the city? Did she plan to live in the wastes beyond the fence?

"I'm leaving tomorrow, I'll be waiting here under the tree at sundown. Don't come if you aren't going to join me."

I was brought back to reality by Eric's fingers snapping in front of my face. I had zoned out for the entire end of the meeting. I hurried, pushing everything in my bag before briskly walking to catch up with him as he crossed the room to leave.

Once we had returned to Eric's office he grabbed the folder from my hands. Thumbing through the leaves, he pulled out a single sheet as he sat in the chair behind his desk. I stood in a resting position waiting for him to speak. He leaned back as he laid a finger on his chin reviewing the page.

"So which of them do you know?" he asked abruptly, keeping his eyes trained on the page.

"Excuse me?" I asked nervous about what he meant. The last thing I wanted was for Eric to know about my personal life and past, I couldn't begin to imagine all the ways he'd be able to use it against me.

"Don't play dumb," he snapped looking up, "What name on this list did you recognize."

I fought the urge to look towards him, trying to keep my expression neutral as I focused on the blank stone wall in front of me. I swallowed hard before responding, "The fourth one, sir."

He hummed as he looked back over the list, "Layla, you mean?" he asked with a general tone, "That would make sense, she's also from Amity. Where you close?" Though I kept my face forward I could tell from the corner of my eye that he was studying me, watching for my reaction.

"No sir, not very. Just classmates in school," I replied in a flat tone.

"Did you know she was factionless?" he questioned, continuing to press the subject.

"No sir," I forced myself to reply, using every last bit of self control to remain still as I stood in front of him, "I did not know she was factionless."

He sat in his chair again contemplating my answer as I stood rigid in front of him, waiting for him to ask the next apparent question; 'Did you know she was divergent?'

"Very well," he finally spoke, "You're dismissed for now, go have an early dinner and meet me in The Pit at six o'clock sharp," he stated as I began to nod, showing I understood the orders before he continued, "We have an execution to see tonight."

I couldn't help as my head whipped to the side, looking at him. He sat with a content expression, obviously excited for what would happen this evening.

I couldn't eat. I sat in the cafeteria, staring at my hamburger, trying not to cry. Crying was frowned upon in Dauntless. There was barely anyone around since no one really ate this early, but even still I did not want them to see. I knew how the rumor mill worked here, and there was nothing more disgraceful upon than sobbing in public. I gnawed on my lip trying to fight back the tears.

I fought to keep down my thoughts of Layla, finally lifting up my burger and taking a bite. The food felt like plastic in my mouth as I chewed and swallowed.

I didn't know why Eric was doing this to me. When I first started working under him I just assumed he didn't think I was as capable as the other boys. That's how it'd always felt during initiation.

After I had won my first sparring match I stood over the lanky boy from Erudite as he laid on the floor of the ring, hoping I had impressed my instructor. That was what I thought of Eric at the time, before I had gotten to know him better.

"Really?" He called out, staring daggers at the boy on the mat, "You're going to tapout in a fight with some little girl from Amity? All they're good at is picking flower, terrible singing and hugging everyone," He looked disgusted as he spoke, "And you lose a boxing match to her?" he jerked his thumb towards me as Four interrupted calling out the next pair to spar.

I had taken two bites of my food before I had to put it down, resting my elbows on the table, and pressing my hands over my eyes. Eric and Layla couldn't be two more different people. She was so open and warm. When you spoke with her it really felt like she was listening and cared about what you had to say. She was honest but not like biting honest in Candor, she was kind and cared about others' happiness.

Eric was the polar opposite. He was cold, manipulative, and egotistical. He was a textbook sociopath who never got personal and cared for nothing but himself. The only time he had actually asked me a question about myself, he was piss drunk.

It had been another execution that day, so I had offered to work overtime. I was in his office late at night when he burst through the door. He didn't stumble as he walked, remaining well composed as he crossed the tile floor to where I knelt by the filing cabinet. I could tell by his bloodshot eyes he had been indulgent at the afterparty.

"Uhm, shouldn't you go home, sir?" I suggested in a careful voice as he stopped, standing over me while I crouched besides the files I had been sorting on the floor.

"I knew you'd be here," he replied, as I stood up in front him.

"Excuse me?" I was used to being at Eric's beck and call, and the idea that he would come looking for me seemed backwards.

"I knew you'd be here and I wanted to talk to you." This made me nervous. I was almost certain I hadn't done anything wrong but I'm sure he had a long list of everything I'd ever fucked up.

"What did you need to speak with me about, sir?" I asked as I avoided eye contact, trying to not let him see who on edge I was.

"Do you miss Amity?" his question surprised me, he had never wanted to know anything about me beyond my name and even still I'm pretty sure he didn't care much about that.

"Sometimes," I replied, focusing my eyes on his chin, "I miss being outside, sir."

"Are the people in Amity really as nice to each other as they say?" I was completely flabbergast as to why he suddenly wanted to know so much about my original faction. I tried not to flinch as he gently rested his finger under my chin. Squeezing my fists, I kept my arms to my sides, trying to say still as he tilted my head up, forcing me to look into his eyes. "All the girls I've ever known from Amity have always be quite accommodating." The emphasis he used on the last word set off a light in my head and suddenly I understood what he was asking.

"Yes, sir, everyone is very nice in Amity," I swallowed hard, wishing I was anywhere else in the city but here. He squinted his eyes as he studied my face.

"Have you ever been kissed," He inquired with a slightly amused tone. A brief memory of Layla flashed through my mind. Just the quick mental image of her leaning in as I turned away, embarrassed.

"N-no, sir," I stuttered, feeling the warmth creepy across the sink of my ears and cheeks. He clicked his tongue as he smirked, leaning in. I acted on impulse and dropped down, pushing him away as I dove under his arm and bolted out the door. I was about halfway back to the dorms when I realized I had left my bag and the key to my room behind. Thankfully when I returned to the office he was no longer there.

I sighed as I leaned back from the table. Looking to the big clock on the wall, I saw it was time for me to leave. I left my food almost completely untouched as I stood. I didn't want to go but I knew Eric well enough to realize I had no choice.

The walk to the Erudite square was long and arduous. I kept my head down, staring at my boots as I stayed in pace just behind him.

"I was considering sending you as proxy to Amity today. Too bad you were late" He spoke suddenly, keeping his face forward and hands in his pockets as I looked to his shoulder, "I think you'd actually be good as a proxy. But I prefer having you around as an assistant," I could see the piercing on his brow move as he looked to me out of the corner of his eye.

I merely nodded in response, looking back towards my boots as we walked among the other Dauntless heading to the event. There was an excited energy in the air. Executions had become a celebration, with most people staying up all night after drinking and partying afterwords. Apart from the Deciding ceremony this was the only time all the factions gathered together.

I kept my arms crossed, clutching at my elbow to keep from shaking. My feet felt like bricks with each step I took. The gathered crowd was massive by the time we arrived. Eric skirted around the edge of the mass of people, walking to a small section in the front that was designated for leaders and officials. First he walked up to Jenean who stood near the stage. She wore a long dark blue cape with her hair in a tight bun. I assumed he was shaking her hand both in greeting and as a sign of respect before falling back towards the crowd. I moved to stand just behind him as I would any other time but he caught me as I went to pass. He pulled me to stand directly in front of him, keeping me in place with both of his hands resting on my shoulders.

I studied the ground, refusing to even look at the empty gallows. The crowd behind us milled about in anticipation before the bells from the clock tower began. Everyone grew silent as they rang out seven times. During the quiet Jenean climbed the stairs behind four Dauntless soldiers as they lead the convicts onto the stage.

I tried to keep my eyes down. The silence around of the crowd felt oppressive as I thought of their joy in viewing this spectacle.

"You have been tried in found guilty for theft along with being Divergent or Divergent sympathizers, for which you will be hanged to death," Jenean spoke, projecting her voice through the air.

One of Eric's hands lifted from my shoulder and reached forward, grabbing at my jaw as he wrenched my face forward. He continued to hold my head in place, forcefully resting his arm across my shoulder as the back of my skull rested on his chest.

"Any last words?" Jenean asked. Her blue cape looked brilliant against the neon orange pillar. Across the stage I could see the four prosecuted. There was a woman and two men, all wearing similar disheveled clothes, each with their hands tied behind their backs. The three of them looked to Jenean as she spoke, but at the very end stood Layla. She looked forwards, eyes trained somewhere above the crowd. She wore the same firm expression of defiance as she did when we were scolded as children. She looked beautiful, the baby fat from her teen years long gone, leaving her cheekbones now well pronounced. She stood with a more confident air about her, keeping her shoulders back and her head up straight. I tried to keep my composure, sure that Eric could feel me shaking as he held me.

I could taste the coppery blood in my mouth as I bit my cheeks. I stood there watching her under the gray clouds of the sky. I don't know if I'd have noticed had I not been in the front of the crowd, but as a gust of wind blew half of her jacket was thrown open. I could see underneath her jacket she wore an old raggedy yellow sweater. I knew instantly that it was the one I had made for her 16th birthday.

I let out a sob as my legs gave way. I slumped forward against Eric's grip as I shamelessly cried every tear I had been holding in.

"Just one more minute," Eric whispered in my ear as he held me closer, up right against his chest, his hand still keeping my chin forward. Through my tears I looked to Layla as she turned her head. Her stern blank expression dropped for a second as her eyes landed on me before a black bag was roughly pulled over her head.

"Very well," said Jenean as she turned and descended the stairs while the soldiers tightened the noose around their necks. A Candor man dressed in black and white hood, wrapped his hands around a lever. It groaned as he pulled it back before the mechanisms below release the panels under the convicted.

The cheers of the crowd were deafening as I watched their legs kick violently through the air.

It wasn't long before all four hung motionless.

I made no effort to stand as Eric held me close to him. The cheering crowd drowned out the noise of my weeping as I hung there weak and defeated in his arms. I felt completely empty knowing I'd never her see her under the willow tree again. She was gone forever. The image of her standing there was burned into my eyelids. It was all I could see as I gasped for air.

He wrenched my shoulders around, turning me to face him. I merely slumped forward, whimpering against his chest as he wrapped one arm tightly around my waist. Reaching down, he ran his finger gently along my jaw bone, again pushing my face up to see him. The moment felt all too familiar as he leaned forward. This time I was to weak to run away as his lips touched mine. He took my bottom lip between his, sucking on it before he lifted his head back up. His hand cupped my cheek while his other arm was wrapped around me.

"Don't worry," spoke in a quiet voice as I shook, wiping away a tear with his thumb, "You still have me."

[[[this was a one shot, and then i was talked into continuing it, so here’s part two]]]  PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6 - PART 7 - PART 8 - PART 9 - PART 10 - PART 11

please please please tell me what you think i was kinda branching out of my comfort zone with this, both diff fandom and genre so I’d love to hear your opinions and what you thought of it!

This fic was directly inspired by this song: