#enwoso

"ok." was the most response your mummy got this morning as you stirred a little more, leah lying across from you scrolling aimlessly through her phone.

"and don't give mama a hard time." alessia added on the end her expression a bit more firm even though you didn't see it you could hear it

you moved to sit up slightly as you shot your mummy an offended look. "i never do. i mama's angel!"

leah had laughed so hard she'd nearly spilled her coffee on the white sheets of the bed, before muttering, "my angel devil"

several hours later and leah would come to regret not checking the wardrobe before casually mentioning the england shirt.

she's been so confident, too confident of everything going smoothly.

alessia had laid everything out before leaving for matchday. your tiny england shirt. navy shorts. white frilly socks. even your favourite little trainers sat neatly by the bedroom door.

simple and easy. there was absolutely no reason this should become difficult.

"angel," leah called from the bottom of the stairs as she slipped her own jacket on, having been ready for ages now. "are you nearly ready?"

"nearly!" you callled back your voice travelling down the stairs.

leah smiled to herself. "good girl!" she checked the time on her phone, you both were running perfectly on time.

five minutes passed and leah packed snacks into your little backpack, knowing majority would more than likely be gone before you even made it to wembley.

another five minutes disappeared. still no small footsteps. still no excited five-year-old charging down the stairs announcing that you were ready.

leah frowned as she placed her keys back on the table that was next to the door, "angel?"

"still getting dressed!" you called back, sounding hurried.

"...how are you still getting dressed?" leah called back but you probably hadn't heard her as there was no response just the unmistakable sound of wardrobe doors opening and closing and drawers sliding

something falling onto the floor and a tiny voice saying, "oops."

leah laughed quietly to herself but that should've been her warning.

she climbed the stairs, already rehearsing a gentle reminder that they needed to leave soon. "angel?" she knocked lightly before pushing open the bedroom door.

"...absolutely not." leah gasps as she stood mouth wide open at the door

you stood proudly in front of the full-length mirror, one hand on your hip, the other smoothing down the front of your shirt with enormous satisfaction.

not the england shirt alessia had carefully folded onto your bed. not even one of your many arsenal tops.

instead... you were wearing a tiny barcelona shirt that reached just below your shorts. the blue and garnet stripes looked almost comically bright against the rest of the room.

leah slowly walked around until she could see the back, her shoulders dropped.

across it, in bold white letters... ALEXIA.. 11

you spun around with the biggest grin imaginable. "i look pretty."

leah pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to think of a way that was going to slowly let you down, "angel..."

"what?" you glanced at your mama through the mirror, slightly confused you were ready so why weren't you leaving yet?

"...you do look pretty." leah began, her bottom lip being bit by her top lip at she tried desperately to find the words,  "you also look.... very spanish-"

you giggled, the type that would make anyone melt, you definitely not understanding what leah was getting at, " i match alexia!"

"...you certainly do." leah sighed as you twirled twirled once in front of the mirror before holding your arms out dramatically.

"so we're ready!"

"no." leah said quickly as you stopped still.

you blinked, confused. "...no?"

"no." leah echoed as she walked over to the bed and picked up the untouched england shirt. it still had the tiny fold lines from where alessia had laid it out that morning.

leah held it up. "what happened to this one?"

you shrugged with complete innocence. "i changed my mind."

"i can see that." leah said as the england top stayed in her hands, there was no ways she could let you watch england in a barcelona shirt.. "we're watching england."

"i know."

"so..."

"so." you shrugged, you didn't get what the problem was, mama had asked you to get ready so you did.

"...why are you dressed like barcelona?" leah asked as maybe there was a compromise the two of you could make and you would wear the england shirt to the england game.

"'cause alexia plays there." you smiled, pointing to the shirt you were wearing as leah nodded, "and she's my favourite."

"i know she is."

"so..." you looked at her as though that explained absolutely everything which, in your mind, it did.

leah stared back as the silence stretched. eventually leah crouched so you both were at eye level. "sweetheart..."

"yeah?" you smiled at leah.

"you can wear this another day." leah tried slowly it hurting slightly that she was going to have to hurt your feelings slightly.

"but i want it today." you frowned, as your brow furrowed.

"but england are playing spain" leah tried again to explain, as you nodded along "alexia plays for spain... so don't you think.."

leah paused, mentally trying to solve a puzzle that had currently had no solution. "...maybe today we wear england?"

"i am supporting england." you told leah as she blinked losing your point of argument straight away.

"...you're wearing spain's captain on your back." leah pointed to your barcelona shirt.

"it's barcelona."

"i know it's barcelona."

"so not spain." you quipped back with a smile as leah was stunned slightly by your quickness.

leah opened her mouth then closed it again. technically... "that is not the point."

"but mummy knows i love alexia." you pouted, as leah held you closer rubbing a hand up and down your back as she hummed.

"she love alexia too..." you continued your ramble, as leah's face turned a little, "and alexia is mummy's friend"

"...they are?" leah asked more thinking aloud, not being totally in the loop on that apparent friendship.

"so it's nice." you finished your ramble as you looked a leah with a small smile, as she rubbed a hand over her face.

somehow every answer only made the conversation harder, "you're making this incredibly difficult for someone who's only five." leah mumbled as she looked back at you.

"i'm nearly six."

"that doesn't help."

you folded your tiny arms, deciding you weren't taking the shirt off. "i'm wearing this one."

"no.”

twenty minutes later, the england shirt had been offered and rejected. an arsenal shirt had been suggested as a compromise and again rejected.

even a plain white t-shirt had somehow been dismissed because... "it doesn't have football on it."

leah was rapidly running out of ideas.

"angel."

"no."

"angel."

"no."

"you have approximately three minutes before we absolutely have to leave." leah spoke seriously looking at the time on her phone before sliding it back in her pocket.

"i'm ready." you said with a hint of sass as you stood hand on the stair railing coming down the stairs painfully slow.

"in the wrong shirt." leah mumbled turning to grab her keys as you heard her, "in the right shirt."

leah turned back to you as you managed to come down a stair, "what if mummy feels sad?"

your eyes widened as you pressed both hands dramatically to your cheeks taking a seat on the stairs, "mummy would never be sad."

"she might." leah raised an eyebrow, this was her last gamble.

"no." you huffed.

"she could think you aren't cheering for england."

you frowned, really frowned and for a whole five seconds leah thought she'd finally won.

then your little face lit up. "i'll cheer really loud."

"...in a spain shirt."

"a barcelona shirt."

"that's... somehow worse."

"i'll shout..." you took the deepest breath you could manage. "COME ON MUMMY!"

the shout echoed around the hallway so loudly it probably reached the neighbours that leah actually flinched.

leah rubbed a hand over her face before looking back at you who was standing in front of her with all the determination of someone three times her size.

"...thank you for the demonstration," leah said dryly.

you folded your arms across your little barcelona shirt and lifted your chin triumphantly. "see?" you declared. "i told you i can shout really loud."

"i heard you," leah replied, trying not to laugh despite herself.

"so mummy will hear me too." there was absolutely no flaw in your logic, at least not in your own mind.

leah pinched the bridge of her nose. the two of you had been having the same conversation for the better part of half an hour.

england shirt? "no."

arsenal shirt. "no."

anything that didn't have alexia putellas' name on the back was apparently a "definite no." in your eyes

every suggestion had been met with the exact same answer, so with no ideas left...

leah reached for her phone. if anyone was going to convince you...it would be alessia. leah opened their messages and quickly typed.

le | we have a situation.

the typing bubble appeared almost instantly.

less | ??

leah glanced over at you, who immediately posed the second you realised a photo was being taken.

you planted your feet proudly on the third step up from the bottom, backpack already on. barcelona shirt neatly tucked into your shorts. alexia's name stretched proudly across the back.

then, just to make absolutely sure alessia understood how pleased you were with yourself. you gave the camera two enthusiastic thumbs up and the biggest grin imaginable.

leah sighed dramatically before sending the photo. three little dots appeared almost immediately. another message popped up.

less | 😂😂😂

a second later...

less | that's the one gio bought her

leah slowly lowered her phone and looked back at you. the shirt. the suspiciously smug smile and the complete lack of guilt.

"...of course he did," she muttered to herself.

leah typed another message.

le | THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

the reply came before she'd even locked her phone.

less | little bit funny.

leah rolled her eyes so hard they practically reached the ceiling.

leah | she has refused for THIRTY MINUTES.

another typing bubble.

less | gotta pick your battles sometimes babe 😂

leah stared at the message in complete disbelief.

le | you're unbelievable.

the was a pause this time before another reply appeared.

less | she's still coming to support englnad.

less | just... in a very lovie way.

leah looked over at the little girl again.

you were quietly spinning in circles now, making the barcelona shirt flare out around you as though you'd already won the argument.

which, judging by alessia's response... you probably had.

leah sighed cause as frustrating as it was...alessia wasn't entirely wrong. you weren't refusing to support england.

you were just insisting on doing it while proudly wearing the shirt of the footballer you adored most in the world.

another message appeared.

less | tell her i love her.

leah smiled despite herself, of course that was alessia's priority.

she typed one final reply.

le | she'll use that against me.

less | yeah probably 😂

leah laughed quietly under her breath before slipping her phone back into her pocket then she turned around.

you were already standing by the front door, bouncing impatiently on the balls of your feet. the second leah looked at you, those bright eyes widened hopefully. "mummy says she loves me?"

"...yes."

your smile grew even wider. "and she didn't say i have to change my shirt?"

leah hesitated, only for the tiniest fraction of a second. just enough for the guilt to settle in. "...no."

you gasped dramatically before throwing both fists into the air. "i win!"

you celebrated as though you'd just scored the winning goal at wembley, bouncing twice on the spot before rushing over and grabbing leah's hand.

"come on!" you said excitedly, already tugging her towards the front door. "we don't want to miss mummy!" leah allowed herself to be pulled along, laughing softly as she followed.

halfway down the hallway she glanced at the little barcelona shirt beside her. at the bright navy and garnet stripes. at PUTELLAS 11 stretched proudly across the back. then at the tiny hand wrapped so trustingly around her own. her heart softened despite every ounce of exasperation she'd felt over the last thirty minutes.

she let out the long, weary sigh of someone who had accepted defeat long before the final whistle. "i hope your mother appreciates how many grey hairs you've just given me."

you immediately looked up at her, studying leah's hair with complete seriousness. and after several seconds of careful inspection you shook your head. "you don't have grey hairs."

leah smiled. "...i will by kick-off."

you burst into a fit of giggles that echoed through the hallway then you tilted your head. "i still look pretty though?"

leah's entire expression melted. she crouched just enough to press a gentle kiss against the top of your head before smoothing down one of the little curls that had escaped your ponytail.

"you do." her smile grew. "you also happen to be the most stubborn child in england."

you beamed proudly, taking that as the highest compliment imaginable. "i get it from mummy."

leah laughed properly this time, she couldn't even deny it.

"...unfortunately," she said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as you both stepped outside together, "you really, really do."

⸻

the atmosphere at wembley swallowed up almost everything else.

flags, songs, england shirts everywhere. except... one very small barcelona shirt.

several staff members smiled as you walked past hand in hand with leah

one laughed. "brave choice today."

you nodded confidently. "i know."

leah muttered under her breath. "tell me about it." as you took your seats not far from the england dugout

england won and as the final whistle blew the stadium erupted.

you were already bouncing on the balls of your feet, practically tugging leah's arm out of its socket every few seconds.

"mummy!" you squealed, already pointing towards the pitch even though alessia was still surrounded by teammates, staff and cameras.

leah laughed quietly, shaking her head. you bounced again, unable to stand still for more than half a second.

"can we go?" you asked, your voice high with excitement. "please mama? can we go now?"

"as soon as they let families through," leah said patiently, smoothing down a curl that had escaped your ponytail. "they'll open the barrier in a minute."

"but it's been ages." you dragged out the word in frustration.

"it hasn't." leah smiled knowingly.

"it feels like ages." you let out an exaggerated sigh, your shoulders slumping dramatically before you immediately started bouncing again.

every few seconds you stretched onto your tiptoes, trying to see over the crowd of waiting families. "can you see mummy?"

"not yet."

"what about now?"

"nope."

"now?”

leah couldn't help laughing. "no, sweetheart."

the wait felt endless. for you, every second seemed to last a whole minute. you practically vibrated with excitement, clutching your esme the elephant

the second the barrier finally open, you didn't even wait for leah to finish saying, "careful..." you were already off.

tiny trainers flying across the grass.

"slow down!" leah called after her, laughing despite herself. across the pitch, alessia turned at the sound of a familiar voice.

"lovie?"

there you were. tiny, curly hair bouncing behind you with every step. the bright barcelona shirt stood out amongst a sea of white england shirts like a beacon.

alessia couldn't stop herself laughing. of course, only her daughter would wear a barcelona shirt to an england match.

alessia opened both arms wide. "lovie!" she called, her face breaking into the biggest smile she'd worn all day.

"mummy!" you squealed back, your little legs somehow moving even faster. you launched yourself the final few steps.

alessia caught you effortlessly, lifting you straight off the ground with a soft grunt before spinning you around once.

"there she is," alessia laughed warmly, pulling you into a tight hug. "there's my girl."

you wrapped both arms around her neck so tightly it was almost impossible to breathe. "i missed you," you mumbled into alessia's shoulder.

"i missed you too," alessia replied softly, rubbing gentle circles across your back.

you leaned back just enough to beam at her. "i saw you score!" you announced proudly, your eyes impossibly bright.

alessia gasped dramatically, "you did?" she asked, widening her eyes in mock surprise.

you nodded so enthusiastically your curls bounced. "i shouted really, really loud."

"you did?"

"mhm!"

alessia tapped the end of your nose. "i heard you."

you narrowed your eyes suspiciously before dissolving into a giggle. "you didn't," you declared confidently.

"i definitely did," alessia insisted with a grin

"no you didn't."

"i've got super hearing."

"you haven't."

"i have."

"you were all the way over there," you argued, pointing towards the corner flag on the opposite side to where you'd been sitting.

"i still heard you."

"nuh-uh.”

"yep."

you laughed so hard you nearly slipped from alessia's arms "you being silly, mummy"

"i might be, just a little bit" alessia brushed a curl away from your face before finally taking a proper look at what you were wearing.

her eyes dropped to the navy and garnet shirt, she tilted her head dramatically. "...hang on," she said, pretending to sound confused as if she hadn't seen the photo of you before you'd left the house with leah. "where's your england shirt?"

you blinked then looked down at yourself as though you'd genuinely forgotten what you'd put on that morning. "oh."

you shrugged one shoulder without a hint of guilt. "i wanted alexia."

alessia pressed her lips together, trying very hard not to laugh. "i can see that," she chuckled.

you searched her face carefully. "you don't mind?" you asked quietly.

alessia's expression softened immediately as she shook her head. "no, baby,," she said gently. "i don't mind."

"really?"

"really."

you smiled with obvious relief. "you still know i wanted england to win," you explained earnestly.

"i know," alessia replied, nodding.

"and i cheered when you scored."

"i know you did."

"i shouted, 'go mummy!'"

"you did."

"and..." you hesitated for a second before admitting with complete honesty, "...i shouted for alexia too."

alessia laughed again, unable to help herself. "i figured that might've happened."

"i like both of you." you admitted as alessia nodded she knew this, "but you're my favourite.”

alessia raised an eyebrow playfully. "...by a lot?"

you leaned in conspiratorially. "by this much," you whispered, holding your fingers barely an inch apart.

alessia laughed loudly. "only that much?"

you burst into giggles. "no." and you threw both arms as wide as they would go. "THIS much."

"that's better," alessia said, pulling you into another hug and kissing the top of your head.

a little later and you had somehow vanished. alessia frowned, immediately scanning the pitch.

"where's..."

"there!" leah laughed, pointing towards the opposite side of the grass.

ella was sprinting away with exaggerated panic plastered across her face. "no!" ella cried dramatically, glancing over her shoulder. "she's too fast!"

behind her, you chased after her with determined little legs. "i'm gonna get you!" you squealed between giggles.

"you'll never catch me!" ella called, deliberately slowing down just enough for you to think you were gaining.

"i will!"

"no chance!"

"I'M REALLY FAST!"

"you are!" ella laughed. "that's the problem!"

a second later ella pretended to trip over absolutely nothing.

"oh no!" she stumbled dramatically before collapsing onto the grass with an exaggerated groan. "i've been caught!"

you launched herself onto ella's back, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"i win!" you declared triumphantly, throwing your arms in the air.

"you always win, kiddo" ella sighed theatrically, throwing one arm over her eyes. "i never stood a chance."

"you didn't," you agreed very seriously.

leah and alessia smiled as they watched the pair rolling around on the grass as alessia slipped an arm around leah's waist, "you look tired."

"i argued with a five year old for thirty seven minutes," leah said with a dramatic sigh, folding her arms across her chest.

alessia glanced over at her, a smile already tugging at her lips. "only thirty-seven?" she teased. "i'm impressed."

leah let out a quiet laugh and shook her head. "thirty-nine if we're being precise," she corrected.

alessia laughed, the sound bright and unrestrained. "you could've just let her," she pointed out, bumping leah's shoulder lightly.

"i know," leah admitted with an exaggerated groan. she looked across the pitch to where you were currently chasing ella around with determined little legs before turning back to alessia.

"but it's england!" she exclaimed, throwing one hand into the air.

"i know," alessia replied, still smiling.

"and she's wearing spain's captain on her back," leah continued in disbelief.

alessia chuckled, trying not to laugh too hard at how genuinely offended leah still sounded. "it's barcelona," alessia corrected gently.

leah gave her an unimpressed look. "it's practically the same thing today," she argued.

alessia couldn't help herself. she stepped closer and pressed a soft kiss to leah's cheek. "thank you," she murmured.

leah blinked, her teasing expression immediately melting into something much softer. "for what?" she asked quietly.

alessia glanced over to where you were now triumphantly declaring yourself the winner of yet another game you'd definitely been allowed to win.

"for looking after her," alessia said, her voice warm with gratitude. "for putting up with thirty-nine minutes of negotiations over a football shirt... and everything else while I've been away."

leah smiled, reaching for alessia's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "always" she replied without an ounce of hesitation.

the final whistles of conversations echoed around the pitch as staff began gently ushering players towards the tunnel.

"come on, girls!" someone from england's staff called. "inside, please!"

one by one, players started saying their goodbyes to family members.

ella dramatically complained that she'd "definitely pulled a hamstring" after losing six games of tag to a five-year-old before jogging away, making you giggle as you waved your auntie ella goodbye.

leah reached for your hand. "come on, angel. mummy has to head in, we'll see her afterwards"

you nodded, though your eyes wandered around the pitch one last time, trying to soak everything in.

then you stopped. "...mama." leah followed her gaze.

a small group of spanish players were making their way towards the same tunnel from the opposite side of the pitch, chatting amongst themselves and signing the odd shirt and taking a few photos with fans.

one of them looked up, mariona. the arsenal forward paused mid-conversation her eyes immediately landed on the tiny barcelona shirt.

a grin spread across her face. she nudged the player walking beside her, saying something quietly in spanish. laia looked over too before laughing softly.

mariona gave the group a quick wave to say she'd catch them up before changing direction completely. instead of heading for the tunnel...

she walked straight towards them.

"lovie," alessia laughed quietly beside leah. "i think you've been spotted."

your eyes widened. "super mario!"

you let go of leah's hand and hurried over, stopping just in front of the arsenal teammate you'd seen dozens of times at your mummy's training.

mariona's smile softened immediately, she crouched down so she was eye level with you, "hola, pequeña," she greeted warmly.

you gave a shy little wave. "...hiya."

"its good to see you again," mariona said, her english carrying its familiar spanish accent.

you nodded. "you too.”

mariona's eyes drifted down to the shirt as she laughed quietly. "i had a feeling you'd be wearing barcelona."

you looked down proudly, smoothing a hand over the front. "my uncle gio got it for me," you explained. "when he was in spain"

"its beautiful," mariona told you sincerely.

you beamed. "i love barca."

"i can tell," mariona replied with a grin.

laia had wandered over by now, folding her arms as she smiled at the little girl. "even today?" she asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

you nodded without a second's hesitation. "i wanted england to win," you said earnestly. both spanish's players smiled.

"nut..." you continued, glancing down at the shirt again with obvious pride, "...i also like alexia."

mariona laughed, exchanging an amused look with laia. "i think someone would quite like to hear that."

you frowned in confusion. "...what?"

mariona held out her hand with an encouraging smile. "venir."

you instinctively looked back over your shoulder towards your mummy and mama, "can i?"

alessia smiled immediately. "go on."

leah chuckled, giving you a gentle nudge forward. "just don't forget who feeds you, yeah!"

"i won't!" you promised quickly before slipping your tiny hand into mariona's.

mariona smiled to herself as she led you towards the tunnel where the remaining spanish players were waiting and across the pitch the a few players drifting between groups of supporters.

they were signing shirts, posing for photos, stopping for small conversations that were never quite as quick as security wanted them to be.

meat the advertising boards, alexia was doing exactly that. a barcelona shirt then a spain one, a programme and then another shirt.

she thanked each supporter with a smile, chatting in spanish before moving onto the next person. then she looked up.

mariona was walking towards her and beside her a tiny little girl with bouncy curls and a barcelona shirt that looked just a touch too big.

alexia’s eyes immediately landed on the back of it.

PUTELLAS. 11.

her own name and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “hola.”

you stopped, instantly. every ounce of confidence you’d somehow found talking to mariona and laia completely disappeared.

you simply stared, wide-eyed. mouth slightly open.

mariona chuckled quietly beside you. “i think you’ve made someone very nervous.”

your trainers stayed rooted to the grass, mariona gave your shoulder the gentlest little nudge. “it’s okay.”

alexia laughed softly, already lowering herself into a crouch so she wasn’t towering over the little girl. “hola.” her voice was gentle as she waved slightly, patient and warm, “you don’t have to be scared.”

you swallowed, you couldn’t quite believe the alexia putellas was in front of you, “…hi.”

alexia glanced back at mariona with an amused smile “you’ve found a Barcelona supporter at wembley?”

mariona grinned. “not just any supporter.” she rested a hand lightly against your shoulder. “this little one has spent all afternoon proudly wearing your shirt.”

alexia looked back at you. “you wore my shirt?” a tiny nod came from you,

“you came to watch england…” another nod. “…and you still chose barcelona?”

you finally found enough courage to speak, very quietly. “so everyone knew.”

alexia tilted her head. “knew what?”

“…that you’re my favourite.” it was barely above a whisper. the kind of confession only someone standing inches away could hear.

for a second, alexia’s smile softened into something almost emotional. “well…” she placed a hand gently against her own chest. “thank you.”

she glanced back at mariona again, curiosity dancing across her face. “whose little girl is she?”

mariona smiled knowingly. “you haven’t recognised her?”

alexia looked between them once more then shook her head with a small laugh. “no…”

mariona nodded towards the england players still scattered across the pitch. “she’s baby russo.”

alexia blinked. “…russo?”

“alessia’s daughter.”

recognition immediately washed over her face as her eyebrows lifted. “no…”

mariona laughed. “si.”

alexia looked back at you in complete disbelief before glancing across the pitch. and sure enough standing a little further away: alessia and leah were both watching.

alessia had one hand over her mouth, already smiling before anything had even happened. leah folded her arms with a grin.

as alexia looked back to you. “so…” a playful smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “your mummy plays against me…”

you nodded. “…but today you wore my shirt.” another tiny nod as alexia laughed. “i think that’s very brave.”

nearby, laia had spotted the entire exchange unfolding and saying a word she pulled her phone from her pocket, “this needs recording,” she muttered with a smile.

the camera quietly captured everything.

alexia turned her full attention back to you. “so…”

“how old are you?”

“five .”

“five?”

you nodded. “i turned five.”

alexia smiled. “a big age.” she pointed gently towards the football still tucked under one of the advertising boards. “do you play football?”

“a little bit.” you nodded as mariona spoke for you saying you were football mad.

“a defender?”

you immediately looked horrified. “no.”

alexia laughed. “no?”

“i like passing.” you told alexia imitating one of your passing moves that you had learnt.

mariona snorted, “already a midfielder.”

alexia nodded approvingly. “a very important job.” she looked down at the barcelona shirt again. “and who bought you this?”

“my uncle gio.” you grinned proudly, “he knows barcelona is one of my favourite.”

“and he chose very well.” alexia nodded approvingly as you smiled shyly at the compliment. every answer came in tiny sentences, barely louder than a whisper.

nothing like the confident little chatterbox who had spent the afternoon proudly explaining to anyone who would listen why you couldn’t possibly wear an england shirt because “mummy already wears england.”

alexia found it endlessly adorable. another another minute of chatting and she reached into the pocket of a staff member standing nearby and borrowed a marker.

then she held it up. “may i sign your shirt for you?”

your eyes became enormous. “the… the shirt?”

alexia nodded with a smile “if that’s okay with you.”

for a second you simply stared as though you couldn’t quite believe you’d heard correctly then your entire face lit up. “yes please!”

alexia carefully turned the fabric so it stayed flat. slowly and neatly she signed her name beneath the number eleven. making sure not to smudge the ink before handing the pen back.

“there.”

you immediately looked down you reached out with one tiny finger and very carefully touched the fresh signature then looked back up.

your eyes were sparkling. “…thank you.”

“it was lovely meeting you, y/n.” alexia smiled before gently ruffling your curls. “i hope you keep enjoying football.”

“i will.”

“and maybe…” alexia winked. “…one day i’ll see you playing.”

you looked as though you’d stopped breathing altogether. “i’ll try.”

mariona smiled. “i think someone will remember today forever.”

“i think so too,” alexia replied warmly as she waved goodbye, a media officer ushering her away.

mariona held out her hand. “come on, pequeña.”

you slipped your tiny hand into mariona’s as you started walking back and laia’s phone was still recording and caught the exact second you spotted alessia standing not too far in the tunnel.

“mummy!”

you broke into a run. alessia barely had time to open her arms before the little girl launched herself forwards.

“oof!” she laughed, catching you effortlessly. “you met her!”

“I MET HER!” you squealed, practically bouncing in alessia’s arms.

alessia laughed, unable to stop smiling. “i know!”

“she talked to me!” you continued breathlessly, your words tumbling over one another in your excitement.

“i know she did,” alessia replied warmly, smoothing a curl back from your forehead.

“she knew my name!”

alessia’s eyes widened in exaggerated surprise as she gasped dramatically. “did she?”

you nodded so enthusiastically your curls bounced. “yeah! mariona told her i was little russo, and then she said, ‘it was lovely meeting you, y/n!’”

alessia couldn’t help laughing. “well… she was right.it was lovely meeting you.”

“and she touched my shirt!” you added, looking down at the signed barcelona top as though it had suddenly become the most precious thing in the world.

alessia grinned, glancing at the signature beneath the number eleven. “i noticed.”

“and she said uncle gio picked a good one!”

alessia smiled fondly, already imagining giorgio’s reaction when he heard the story. “i’m sure he’ll be very pleased to hear that.”

you hugged the front of your shirt protectively before looking back up at your mum, still beaming from ear to ear. “he’ll never believe me.”

“and…” you leaned in close, lowering her voice as though sharing the world’s biggest secret. “…she signed it.”

alessia looked down at the shirt, there it was. alexia putellas’ unmistakable signature beneath the eleven.

she couldn’t stop laughing. actual tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “i think…” she kissed the top of your curls. “…she liked you.”

you looked down at the signature one more time carefully smoothing the shirt with both hands then you looked back at her mum.

your voice was barely a whisper. “i think…” a tiny smile spread across your face. “…this is the best day ever.”

⸻

for the next three weeks, everyone suffered. every conversation somehow found its way back to alexia.

one morning over breakfast, you took a bite of your toast before announcing very matter-of-factly, “did you know alexia said my shirt was beautiful?”

alessia didn’t even look up from making coffee, used to this now. “yes” she replied with an amused smile.

a few hours later, as leah walked past the living room, “mama,” you called after her, “did you know alexia signed it?”

leah paused dramatically and rested a hand against her forehead. “only because you’ve told me fourteen times today.”

you frowned thoughtfully before holding up one finger. “it was fifteen,” you corrected proudly.

leah looked towards alessia. “…we’re raising a statistician.”

at breakfast the next day, you poked at your pancakes before looking up. “i think alexia likes pancakes probably.”

alessia smiled over the rim of her mug. “probably.”

leah snorted into her tea. “what makes you think that?”

you shrugged. “because everyone likes pancakes.”

“…can’t argue with that logic,” leah admitted.

in the car on the way to training, you gazed out of the window for a few moments before wondering aloud, “i wonder what Alexia’s favourite colour is.”

from the driver’s seat, alessia laughed. “i’ve absolutely no idea, baby.”

“you should ask her.”

leah burst out laughing from the passenger seat. “oh, just send her a quick text, less. ‘morning, by the way, what’s your favourite colour?’”

alessia shook her head, laughing. “i don’t think that’s happening.”

that evening, after stories had been read and the bedroom lights were dimmed, you hugged esme the elephant tightly.

“mummy?”

“mh?” alessia hummed, tucking the duvet around you.

“do you think alexia remembers me?”

alessia’s expression softened instantly. she brushed a curl away from your face. “i think she probably does.”

“you do?”

“i do.”

you smiled to herself. “good.”

even facetiming nonno and nonna became impossible. the second mario answered, “hi, tesoro!” he greeted with a grin.

“look!” you exclaimed, already scrambling to hold the barcelona shirt up to the camera.

mario chuckled patiently. “i’ve seen it, tesoro.”

“but have you seen the signature today?” you asked very seriously, tilting the shirt to make sure he had the perfect view.

carol laughed from somewhere behind him. “i don’t think signatures move, sweetheart.”

“they don’t,” you agreed with complete confidence. “…but it’s still nice to look at.”

eventually, leah found alessia laughing in the kitchen one evening while you carefully folded the signed shirt for the night.

"this," leah said, leaning against the counter, "is your fault."

"my fault?" alessia gasped with such dramatic effect as she was still trying to compose herself.

"you laughed instead of backing me up." leah pointed out with a smirk as she nicked one of alessia’s biscuits

"i did." alessia agreed quietly.

"and now our daughter thinks she's best friends with alexia putellas."

from the living room, you called proudly, "i am!"

leah closed her eyes. "there it is." alessia couldn't help herself. she laughed, wrapping an arm around leah before looking towards the living room where you were already telling esme the elephant, in great detail, exactly how alexia had smiled at her.

"you know," alessia said with a grin, "it could be worse."

leah raised an eyebrow, alessia smiled. "at least she still wanted england to win."

leah considered it. "...i’ll allow it."

from the living room came one final announcement. "when i grow up..." a dramatic pause. "...i’m going to play with mummy." another pause. "...and then with alexia.”

Your flat is too quiet, you notice far too quickly for comfort as your days blend into monotony.

You notice the hum of the fridge, the tick of the heating pipes, the soft buzz of your phone on the counter. You notice that you don’t check it. You notice that you already know it isn’t her.

You move through the rooms like you’re underwater, slow and heavy. The evening light slants through the blinds in thin, pale stripes, dust drifting lazily through the beams. You watch it for too long, as if staring at something still might steady you.

It doesn’t, why would it?

You sit on the edge of your bed, elbows on your knees, phone in your hands. The screen lights your face in a cold, bluish glow. You scroll up through your messages with her, the voice notes, the half‑jokes, the late‑night confessions that weren’t really confessions but felt like they could’ve been.

You stop on the last one she sent.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

You close your eyes. You shouldn’t have believed her. But you did. You always do.

Work becomes your refuge, you notice.

The media office at Arsenal is cramped, cluttered, and always slightly too warm, but it’s alive, thrumming with people moving, talking, editing, planning. It gives you something to anchor yourself to.

You bury yourself in tasks: clipping footage, organising files, prepping equipment for training. You keep your head down, your headphones in, your expression neutral.

It's painful in the fact that it almost works. That it almost works day in and day out until training, at least.

You’re setting up cameras by the pitch when the squad walks out. Boots thud against the concrete tunnel, voices echoing, laughter bouncing off the walls. You keep your eyes on your equipment, pretending you’re absorbed in adjusting the tripod.

But you feel her before you see her.

Emily.

Her presence hits you like a shift in air pressure, subtle but unmistakable. You look up despite yourself.

She jogs out with the defenders, hair pulled back, cheeks flushed from the cold. She looks bright, alive, entirely unburdened. She laughs at something Katie says, head tipping back, and the sound slices through you with surgical precision.

She doesn’t look your way. Not even once.

You swallow hard and tighten a screw on the camera that doesn’t need tightening.

You tell yourself you don’t care. You’re lying.

You avoid her for the rest of the morning. It’s easier than you expect which tugs and the dried tears in your eyes, you notice that she doesn’t drift anywhere near you. She doesn’t hover at the edges of your space like she used to. She doesn’t send a glance, a nod, a half‑smile.

She’s a stranger wearing a familiar face.

By the time training ends, your chest feels hollowed out.

You’re coiling cables when Leah approaches, her footsteps soft on the turf. “You alright?” she asks, voice low, steady.

You nod without looking up. “Yeah. Just tired.”

She doesn’t believe you, you can feel it, but she doesn’t push. She just rests a hand on your shoulder for a moment, warm and grounding, before heading inside.

You breathe out slowly and you wish the exhale took the ache with it.

Matchday arrives like a storm.

The Emirates glows under the floodlights, the air buzzing with anticipation. You’re filming tunnel content, the kind that captures the heartbeat of the moment, boots tapping, shirts rustling, players adjusting tape and gloves.

You hold the camera steady as the squad lines up. Then she appears.

Emily steps into frame, focused, composed, jaw set with pre‑match intensity. She looks powerful in the way athletes do with all their coiled energy and quiet purpose.

She walks past you without hesitation. Without recognition. Without even the flicker of awareness she used to give you, the tiny nod, the soft “hey,” the brief brush of her hand against your arm.

Nothing.

You lower the camera for a second, letting the noise of the stadium wash over you, the roar of the crowd, the thrum of drums, the electric hum of thousands of voices, and yet you feel small, and stupid, and tired. So tired that its crashes over you whole, like a wave engulfing the shore.

After the match, the stadium empties slowly, people trickling out like ants out of an ant hill on a sweltering summers day. You stay behind to pack equipment, the concrete corridors echoing with the last remnants of celebration.

You’re crouched beside a case, winding a cable, when you hear footsteps behind you.

“Hey.”

Your stomach drops as you turn.

Emily stands there, hands shoved into her jacket pockets, hair damp from the match, eyes flicking everywhere except your face.

“You’ve been… hard to catch lately,” she says.

You almost laugh at the irony. “I’ve been working.”

She nods, jaw tightening. “Right.”

Silence stretches like pulled taffy, long, taut, uncomfortable.

She shifts her weight. “I know I disappeared. I’m sorry.”

You wait. You don’t rescue her from the discomfort this time.

“I just-” She exhales sharply. “I get overwhelmed. And I pull back. And I know it hurts people. I know it hurt you.”

Her voice cracks on the last word.

You look at her, really look at her, and something inside you clicks into place. A quiet, steady truth.

“I cared about you,” you say softly. “But I can’t keep being the person you drop and pick up whenever you feel like it.”

Her eyes widen, like she didn’t expect you to say it out loud.

“I’m not angry,” you continue. “I’m just over it. Over you.”

The words settle between you like dust in sunlight, soft, inevitable, and final.

Emily swallows hard. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” you say. “But you did.”

She looks like she wants to reach for you. She doesn’t.

You pick up your bag, the weight of it grounding you. “Take care of yourself, Emily.” You walk past her, footsteps steady, heart strangely calm. You don’t look back, you don't ever want to look back and remember Emily Fox again.

Outside, the night air is cold and sharp, the kind that wakes you up from the inside out. The stadium lights fade behind you as you cross the car park, each step lighter than the last.

And as you were leaving, it felt as if you fell through the ice and had ended up breathing.

not unusual clingy. not the kind where you needed help finding your shoes or wanted leah to fix your wonky ponytail. this was different.

every time leah moved, you seemed to appear beside her. when leah wandered into the kitchen to make breakfast, you climbed onto a stool at the island and watched her crack eggs into a bowl.

when leah crossed the room to grab something from the fridge, you hopped down and followed. by the time breakfast was ready, you were practically leaning against leah's leg.

leah glanced down as she stirred the eggs. "morning, shadow."

you wrapped both arms around her knee without hesitation. "mornin'."

"what're you doing down there?" leah asked with a small laugh.

"huggin'."

"clearly."

"'cause i wanted to." you said quietly, the answer was simple enough, but it made leah smile.

normally you would have been chatting non-stop by now, telling your mama about a dream you'd had or asking a hundred random questions before nine in the morning.

instead you seemed perfectly content just being close.

the pattern continued throughout the morning. leah disappeared upstairs to get dressed and heard little footsteps following her a few seconds later.

by the time she'd reached her bedroom, you were standing in the doorway watching her pull clothes from her wardrobe.

"you okay, angel?" leah asked, tugging a jumper over her head.

"yep." you answered in the same quiet tone as you leant against the doorway.

"you're staring at me."

"no i'm not."

"you definitely are."

a tiny smile tugged at your lips before disappearing almost as quickly as it arrived. leah noticed it. she also noticed how quickly the smile faded.

usually once you started giggling it snowballed into full-blown chaos. today, though, you simply stayed where you were, lingering quietly in the doorway.

even when leah brushed her teeth, she caught sight of your little blonde head in the mirror. you sat cross-legged on the bathroom floor, chin resting on her knees as you swung esme the elephant around in circles.

leah pulled the toothbrush from her mouth. "you know this is weird, right?"

"a little bit." you said quietly, continuing throwing your esme the elephant in the air.

"a little bit?" leah echoed as you hummed.

"maybe a lot." that earned a proper laugh from both of you, but once again the moment passed quickly. the giggle faded and you settled back into silence, still hovering nearby as though you couldn't quite bear being in another room.

the thing was, you had seemed absolutely fine all weekend. alessia had left on friday morning just before you were going to school, for ella's hen.

after many hugs, kisses, many promises to facetime, one dramatic declaration from you that's you'd miss your mummy forever and not to forgot alessia's ramble of do's and don'ts for the weekend - alessia finally made it on her way for her weekend away.

since then there had been movie nights, pancakes, facetime's before bed and enough sweets to make alessia question leah's parenting choices when she got home.

but despite all of that, something felt different today.

but by the time they were getting ready to leave for sunday dinner at leah's parents' house, you had managed to remain within arm's reach for almost the entire morning.

leah was sitting on the sofa pulling on her trainers when she felt a familiar weight press against her side. looking down, she found you once again attached to her arm.

"what am i going to do with you?" leah asked fondly, pressing a kiss to your hair which had spent her too long doing

you just shrugged. "keep me."

"oh, is that the plan?" leah laughed lightly at your innocent response.

"yep."

"just keep you?"

"yep, forever."

leah laughed and crouched down in front of her, brushing a stray loose strand of blonde hair back into place. "sounds expensive."

that finally earned a proper grin.

"you excited for your sunday dinner?" leah asked, knowing you quite like the odd sunday when football games didn't fall on those days where you'd just be surrounded by family, a trait which you definitely got from your mummy.

you nodded immediately. "yeah!"

"see grandma and grandad?"

another nod.

"the cousins?"

"yep."

leah smiled. "going to see henry."

the reaction was tiny. so small most people would have missed it entirely. the smile faltered for a split second, you shoulders drooping before you quickly straightened again. "yeah."

leah frowned slightly. "everything okay, angel?"

you nodded so quickly it was almost suspicious. "yep."

"you sure? you can tell mama if somethings wrong"

"i sure."

this time you wouldn't meet leah's eyes, focusing instead on the zip of your jacket. leah had the distinct feeling she was missing something important, but before she could ask again, you reached out and grabbed her hand.

"we go now?"

leah looked down at the little fingers wrapped tightly around hers and squeezed gently.

"come on then angel"

you immediately brightened and followed her out to the car, still holding onto leah's hand. neither of you realised that by the end of the day, leah would finally understand why her little shadow hadn't wanted to let her out of sight all morning.

—

sunday dinners with the williamson's were rarely quiet.

the house was already buzzing by the time leah pulled onto the driveway. even from outside she could see movement through the windows and hear the faint sound of voices carrying out every time the front door opened.

it was the same every sunday; loud, chaotic and completely impossible to escape a conversation for more than five minutes.

the moment leah opened the front door, the familiar warmth hit her. the smell of roast potatoes, gravy and freshly baked yorkshire puddings drifted from the kitchen, mixing with the sounds of laughter coming from what seemed like every room in the house.

her dad was carrying a stack of plates towards the dining room while attempting to have a conversation over his shoulder. amanda was standing in the kitchen doorway directing people around despite nobody actually listening to her instructions.

leah's grandmother was settled comfortably in her favourite armchair, issuing orders from afar with the confidence of somebody who knew everyone would eventually do what she wanted anyway.

you stepped inside beside leah, your hand still tucked securely in leah's. usually you'd already be halfway through the house by now with alessia calling ahead for you to slow down as you would race off to find someone to play with or investigating whatever snacks were sitting unattended on the kitchen counter.

today you lingered close, letting leah hang her coat up before slowly following her further inside.

"there's my girls!" amanda appeared almost instantly, pulling leah into a quick hug before crouching down to greet you properly.

"hello, sweetheart."

"hi, nana." you said quietly as you hugged her, the smell of home cooking surrounding you.

amanda smiled immediately but even she seemed to notice the quieter-than-usual greeting, but before she could comment, a familiar voice echoed from somewhere deeper in the house.

"leah!"

the next thing leah knew, her five-year-old cousin henry came hurtling around the corner at alarming speed.

"woah buddy!" leah barely had time to brace herself before he crashed into her legs. she laughed, steadying him with both hands before he sent himself sprawling onto the floor. "there he is."

henry grinned up at her proudly. "guess what le!"

"should i be worried?" leah asked as you sat quietly on the floor taking your shoes off, pulling lightly at the laces.

"no!" the answer came far too quickly.

leah narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "that wasn't convincing." as an excited giggle came from henry.

but then, finally, he spotted you sat not far from leah. his face lit up immediately. "y/n!"

usually that was all it took. usually the two children would disappear before any adult could stop the two of you. you'd both spend the afternoon building dens, making up games or getting yourselves into enough mischief that somebody inevitably ended up apologising for the two of you later.

today, though, you didn't run forward. didn't throw your arms around him. didn't immediately start asking questions.

instead you offered a small smile. "hi, henry" henry just blinked. the greeting wasn't rude. just... quiet. different an even leah noticed it.

for a second henry seemed unsure what to do with that response then his excitement took over again. "come see my lego!"

before leah could answer, henry had already grabbed her hand. "made loads of new stuff."

"oh yeah?" leah laughed lightly as henry rambled on about his lego creations, you hanging by leah quietly.

henry simply laughed and started tugging her towards the living room. "come on!"

and because leah hadn't seen him properly in weeks, leah allowed herself to be dragged along. family gatherings were one of the few places she got to see some of her younger cousins and extended family regularly, and henry had always had a habit of making sure she saw every single one of his latest creations.

"alright, alright," leah laughed. "show me then." henry took off immediately and leah followed behind him and a few steps behind leah came you, quiet. silent almost as if you wouldn't know you were there unless you seen her.

your small trainers padded softly against the floorboards as you trailed after them while henry excitedly chattered away about dinosaurs and spaceships you simple listened.

watching henry cling to leah's arm. watching leah laugh at whatever story he was telling. watching him pull her attention away over and over again.

at first nobody noticed: not henry, not leah, not any of the adults who were busy preparing dinner.

but you noticed and you followed them into the living room, something uncomfortable settled quietly in her chest. a feeling you didn't quite understand yet.

only that every time henry made leah smile, you seemed to feel it a little bit more. at first nobody noticed, not really.

there were too many people in the house and too much noise for anyone to pay attention to the fact that one little girl wasn't quite herself.

the living room was full of overlapping conversations, the kitchen even louder as people drifted in and out stealing roast potatoes before dinner was ready.

every surface seemed occupied by a family member, and somewhere in the middle of it all henry was enthusiastically showing leah every single lego creation he'd built since she'd last visited.

to everyone else, it probably looked completely normal. henry was excited, leah was catching up with family.

the house was loud, busy and full of people who all wanted a piece of her attention. so nobody thought twice about it. you tried not to either.

you followed them into the living room and sat quietly while henry launched into an explanation about a complicated lego spaceship. leah listened with a smile, asking questions and making the appropriate impressed noises whenever he pointed out a feature he was particularly proud of.

you sat nearby on the sofa, eyes drifting between leah and henry and the programme on the tv which you couldn't really understand as it wasn't your usual cartoon watch.

every now and then you'd think about joining the conversation, opening you mouth only to close it again when henry immediately started talking over the top of whatever leah had been about to say.

it happened once, then twice and then again. eventually you stopped trying.

when henry proudly placed the spaceship in leah's hands, leah gasped dramatically. "that's actually brilliant."

"i know." he smiled proudly as leah inspected the small lego creation.

"you built all this yourself?" henry nodded so enthusiastically leah thought his head might fall off. you watched the exchange from your seat on the sofa.

normally you'd be climbing all over leah by now. normally you'd be sitting pressed against her side, helping examine the lego or proudly showing off whatever you’d built too.

instead you remained where you were. quiet and almost invisible as you held your esme the elephant just that little bit tighter.

as the afternoon continued, the feeling sitting inside your chest started growing. not enough to make you cry. not enough to make a fuss.

just enough to make everything feel a little bit wrong.

when henry climbed onto the sofa beside leah, you settled herself on the other side of the sofa, still close enough to be near her. not close enough to compete

you pulled at the sleeve of your jumper while listening to henry chatter away beside you. every few minutes he'd grab leah's arm to show her something else, and every single time leah's attention immediately shifted back to him.

not because she was doing anything wrong. not because she was ignoring you.

but because henry was four years old and excited and desperate to show somebody all the things he'd been waiting weeks to share.

still, you noticed. you noticed every time.

when henry made leah laugh, you found yourself staring at the carpet. when henry leaned against her shoulder, you shuffled slightly further away. when henry demanded her attention again, you looked down at her hands.

nobody noticed; not henry, not leah. not even you fully understood why you felt the way you did. you just knew there was a strange ache sitting beneath her ribs.

but because it wasn't really about henry. not entirely anyways. henry was your friend, your cousin. most days you adored him and most times you saw him the two of you were inseparable.

this ache feeling had started before you left your house with your mama. it had started when you'd woken up that morning and realised your mummy still wasn't home two days ago.

to most people that wasn't very long but to a five year old it was enormous. the house had felt different without alessia there. bedtime was different, breakfast had felt different.

even facetiming your mummy hadn't quite fixed the problem because every call ended the same way, with alessia saying goodbye and promising she'd be home soon as you sat with a pout and sad eyes.

soon felt like forever when you were five. you'd tried to be brave about it, you smiled during the facetime calls. you'd tell mummy about your day, you'd laugh when your mummy showed the ridiculous costumes she'd convinced ella to wear.

but every time the call ended, you felt that little empty space all over again. the place where your mummy should have been. and now, sitting in a crowded living room full of people, that feeling seemed even bigger.

because usually when you missed your mummy, your mama was there. leah would be the person you curled up beside, the person you followed around the house, the person who always seemed to know when something was wrong.

but only leah was busy, not on purpose and definitely not because she didn't care. just because henry wanted her attention too.

and for the first time all weekend, you found yourself wondering whether there was enough of leah to go around and that thought made your stomach twist.

so instead of saying anything, you simply sat quietly now with a colouring book and some pencils glancing over every time henry made leah laugh again. the ache in your chest growing just a little heavier each time.

by lunchtime, leah's mum, amanda had started to notice something was off. not enough to say anything at first. just the little things.

the way you weren't running around causing chaos with henry like you usually would be, the way you sat quietly colouring in longer than you usually would be. the way you seemed to be watching leah more than participating in whatever was going on around her.

amanda had spent enough years raising children to know when one was carrying around feelings they didn't quite know how to explain. still, she kept an eye on things and waited.

by dinner, leah's grandma had noticed too. the entire family was squeezed around the dining table, conversations overlapping from one end to the other.

plates were being passed around, somebody was arguing about football, and amanda was trying unsuccessfully to stop people stealing roast potatoes before everyone had been served.

through all of it, leah's granmda sat quietly observing. she'd always been good at that. while everyone else got caught up in the noise, she noticed the things people missed.

and right now, she was watching two children sitting at opposite ends of the table or more specifically, she was watching one child and one very distracted adult.

henry was halfway through explaining something incredibly important about dinosaurs. at least, incredibly important according to him. "and then the t-rex bites him," he announced dramatically.

leah nodded with complete seriousness. "seems a bit rude."

"it wasn't rude." henry said as he pushed more food onto his fork.

"no?" leah asked as henry shook his head finished what was in his mouth before speaking.

"he was hungry."

"fair enough."

henry grinned triumphantly before immediately launching into another explanation. leah listened patiently, occasionally asking questions or pretending to be shocked by whatever twist the story took next.

the entire exchange was harmless. sweet, even but sitting three seats away was you and leah's grandma could see exactly what nobody else could.

every time henry spoke, you looked towards your mama. every time leah laughed, your eyes followed. every time henry tugged on leah's sleeve to get her attention, you seemed to sink a little further into her chair.

you weren’t throwing a tantrum, wasn't sulking. wasn't demanding attention. that was what made it so obvious. you were trying very hard not to let anyone know you were upset.

leah's grandma's heart immediately softened. she glanced across the table towards amanda. "you seeing what i'm seeing?"

amanda followed her gaze and at first she looked confused. but then her eyes landed on you and suddenly she saw it too. "oh."

"exactly." for a moment neither woman spoke, they simply watched.

watched as you pushed a pea around your plate without eating it. watched you force polite little smiles whenever someone spoke to you. watched you glance towards leah every few seconds without even seeming to realise she was doing it.

most importantly, they watched what happened whenever henry got leah's attention. because every single time, your shoulders seemed to droop, just a little. just enough.

enough for two mothers to spot it immediately. "bless her," amanda murmured quietly as leah's grandma hummed in agreement.

thea older woman took a sip of tea before speaking again. "she's jealous."

amanda considered it for a second and normally she would've laughed at the idea. you adored henry. the two children spent most family gatherings joined at the hip.

but looking at you now...

watching the way you kept staring towards leah...

watching the way you looked so much smaller than usual...

amanda slowly nodded. "yeah maybe." leah's grandma continued watching. "not really of henry"

"no."

"just what he has." amanda's expression softened. because she understood exactly what the other women meant.

henry had leah's attention, not all of it. as leah had continuously tried to involve you but you just seemed so sullen.

but henry had enough of leah's attention and today, that mattered. especially for a little girl who'd spent the entire weekend missing her mummy.

amanda glanced towards the empty chair alessia usually occupied whenever they came for dinner then back towards you. the pieces clicked together almost instantly. "and she's missing her mum."

that made leah's grandma sigh because of course she was.

alessia had only been gone a couple of days, but to a five-year-old those couple of days probably felt enormous. the facetime calls helped, the reassurances helped.

but they weren't the same as having your mum there to cuddle into at bedtime. they weren't the same as hearing her laugh from the next room.

amanda looked back at you again. you were now staring down at her yorkshire pudding, absentmindedly poking at it with your fork. not eating. not joining the conversation. not asking your usual questions. not being herself.

the contrast was impossible to miss once you saw it.

"both," amanda agreed quietly and for a few moments they simply watching you. neither of them liking the sadness they saw there.

because underneath the jealousy and the clinginess and the quietness was something much simpler. you weren't angry. you weren't being difficult. you were just a little girl who missed her mummy.

and who, for the first time all day, was starting to wonder if you might be losing some of leah's attention too.

amanda's gaze shifted towards her daughter. completely oblivious. still listening to henry explain dinosaurs as though it was the most fascinating conversation she'd ever had.

amanda shook her head affectionately. "that girl hasn't got a clue, has she?"

leah's grandma snorted into her tea. "not a single clue."

"think we should mention it?"

leah's grandma looked back towards you. the little girl chose that exact moment to glance towards leah again. a tiny, hopeful look crossing your face before henry immediately demanded her attention once more.the hope disappeared just as quickly.

leah's grandma expression softened. "oh i think we'd better."

—

leah was helping clear plates when amanda finally decided enough was enough.

dinner had mostly finished, people beginning to drift back towards the living room with cups of tea and half-finished conversations. you were back colouring in, concentrating on staying perfectly in the line.

leah was standing at the kitchen counter stacking plates when she felt her mum appear beside her. amanda didn't say anything at first. just nodded towards the doorway. "you need to go talk to tiny."

leah blinked. "what?"

amanda simply gave her a look and tilted her head towards the living room again. leah followed her gaze automatically and immediately her stomach dropped.

you lying by yourself in the far corner, colouring but not talking, not following henry around, not doing much of anything really. instead just a shell of yourself sitting there small and quiet

the sight hit leah harder than she expected. "what's wrong?"

amanda folded her arms. "you tell me."

leah frowned and looked again. really looked this time and suddenly she saw everything she'd somehow managed to miss all day.

the way your shoulders seemed permanently slumped. the way you'd barely spoken throughout dinner. the way your eyes kept drifting towards leah every few minutes before quickly looking away again. the way you'd spent the entire afternoon hovering nearby without ever actually joining in.

waiting and watching.

leah groaned softly and scrubbed a hand across her face. "oh no." amanda just nodded knowingly.

"i've been an idiot." leah whispered a wave of guilt spreading across her immediately.

amanda's expression softened immediately. "no, you've been distracted."

leah still looked guilty. "same thing."

amanda squeezed her arm. "then fix it." and leah she didn't need telling twice.

she found you exactly where she'd been left. lying in the corner with your colouring but you were colouring slow as if your mind was not really in it.

the television was on in the background, everyone was talking around you moving in and out to go and get dessert but somehow you seemed completely separate from all of it.

lost in your own little world, leah's chest tightened. "hey angel"

you looked up immediately. the sad expression disappeared so quickly leah almost thought she'd imagined it.

"hi." you said quietly dropping the blue pencil that was previously in your hand on the page and sitting up.

leah sat beside you. close enough that her shoulders touched yours. neither of you spoke for a moment. leah simply sat there quietly, letting you settle into her presence.

eventually she nudged you gently with her shoulder. "you alright?" you just shrugged, the kind of shrug that wasn't actually an answer.

leah smiled softly. "wanna tell me what's going on?"

for a few moments you simply stared at the carpet and leah waited patiently. she'd learned a long time ago that rushing children rarely got you anywhere.

eventually, in a voice so quiet leah almost missed it;

"when's mummy coming home?"

the question caught her completely off guard but for a second all the pieces clicked together. the clinginess that morning. the quietness all afternoon. the sadness. the jealousy.

it wasn't just henry. it had never just been henry.

leah's expression immediately softened. "oh, angel." you kept your eyes fixed firmly on the floor as though you were embarrassed you'd even asked.

"tonight."

the reaction was instant, your head snapped up. "as in tonight, tonight?"

leah couldn't help smiling. "yeah."

"what time?"

"i'm not actually sure."

you frowned immediately. "that's not a time."

leah laughed, as she held you just that little bit tighter,  "no, i suppose it isn't."

you considered leah's answer carefully, "will it be dark?"

"probably."

"really dark?"

"probably really dark."

you let out the most dramatic sigh leah had ever heard. the kind of sigh only a five-year-old could manage. leah reached over and smoothed a hand through your blonde hair. "you miss her?"

a tiny nod.

"i just wanted mummy."

the words shattered leah's heart. not because they were dramatic. not because you were crying but because of how simple they were. honest and raw. the kind of truth children delivered without even trying.

leah immediately opened her arms. "c'mere angel." you practically climbed into her lap as though you'd been waiting for permission all day.

leah wrapped both arms around you and immediately felt the little girl melt against her chest. there it was. the thing you'd been looking for all afternoon.

comfort and safety.

the place you always ended up whenever something felt too big. leah rested her cheek against soft blonde hair. "you know she misses you too, right?"

"yeah."

"she probably talked about you every five minutes." leah said as she rubbed a hand against your back a tiny smile appeared on your face, "really?"

"oh definitely."

"even with auntie ella?"

leah laughed quietly. "especially with auntie ella."

that finally earned a proper giggle. small but real. the first one leah heard in hours. for a moment she thought that might be the end of it.

then she looked down and noticed something still lingering behind your eyes. a hesitation, a worry. something you hadn't quite said out loud yet and suddenly leah understood.

"angel." you looked up. "did you think i was spending more time with henry than you today?"

the silence answered before you did. you immediately looked away chewing slightly on your bottom lip.

"oh angel." leah cooed, she felt awful, absolutely awful. because now she could see it from your perspective.

missing your mum all weekend. coming somewhere familiar looking for comfort then watching henry monopolise leah's attention for most of the day. of course you'd felt pushed aside.

"you know i love henry, don't you?" leah spoke quietly but with a sense of rawness. you gave a small nod. "he's family."

you nodded again and leah gently lifted your chin until those familiar blue eyes met hers. "but so are you."

you blinked and leah smiled softly. "actually." she brushed a piece of blonde hair behind your ear. "you're my girl, my angel."

instantly your lip wobbled and leah felt her own chest ache because somehow those five words always seemed to mean everything.

a tear threatened to spill from the corner of your eye. leah your her forehead immediately. "you don't have to compete with henry." another kiss. "you don't have to compete with anybody."

and another. "i've got enough love for all of you."

that was all it took. you buried your face in leah's shoulder and wrapped both arms tightly around her waist. leah held you just as tightly back.

holding you close. holding you safely. holding you exactly where you should have been all day.

—

the difference afterwards was immediate. the heaviness seemed to disappear from you almost entirely.

you smiled more. talked more.even joined in when henry came over to show everyone another dinosaur fact he'd apparently learned.

most importantly, you stopped watching leah from across the room because now she was right beside you. where she wanted to be.

when the family migrated back into the living room, you followed. when leah sat down, you immediately tucked herself against her side.

when henry wandered over carrying another toy dinosaur, you simply leaned into leah's shoulder and listened rather than retreating into yourself.

much happier, much lighter.

to his credit, even henry eventually noticed. "tiny tired."

leah looked down at the young practically draped across her side. "aren't we all buddy?"

by eight o'clock, you were barely functioning. your eyes kept drifting shut mid-conversation. every few minutes your head would slowly droop onto leah's shoulder before jerking awake again.

the entire family found it endlessly entertaining. "she's fighting for her life over there," holly, leah's cousin whispered.

leah laughed quietly, you glared at them all then yawned so hard your eyes watered but five minutes later you'd lost the battle completely.

curled underneath a blanket against leah's side. one tiny hand wrapped firmly around the sleeve of leah's jumper as though you needed physical proof that leah wasn't going anywhere.

leah glanced down, you were already asleep. long eyelashes resting against flushed cheeks. mouth slightly open, breathing slow and steady. completely out cold.

across the room amanda smiled knowingly. "there she is."

leah looked up. "what?" amanda nodded towards the sleeping child. "our tiny."

leah followed her gaze back down. at you who trusted her enough to fall asleep wrapped around her side. you who had spent the entire weekend missing your mum. you who had worried there wasn't enough room for you in leah’s heart.

and you who had finally fallen asleep feeling safe again. something warm settled in leah's chest.

leah leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "always has been."

almost as if you'd heard her, you made a sleepy little noise and immediately snuggled even closer. the entire room laughed softly, leah just smiled then settled deeper into the sofa.

because there was absolutely no chance she was moving now, she'd think about how to get you in the car later on. but she wasn't moving, not right now. not when a sleepy little girl had chosen her as the safest place in the room.

your girlfriend, alessia, name on the back of your shirt and then the next the people were recognising you before they even recognised the players walking past,

it was subtle at first. a double take here. a whisper there.

then-

"y/n? oh my god, hi.. can i get a photo please?"

you blinked at the young girl, startled, instinctively glancing over your shoulder like they must be talking to someone else. but no, the young girls' phones was already halfway raised with a hopeful smile waiting.

"yeah.. yeah, of course," you said, a little shy as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, stepping forwards a little. you were kind of unsure what to do. you'd watched alessia have hundred of times be stopped by people for photos but never yourself.

it should've felt strange and it did the first couple of times it happened. but the thing was, people weren't treating you like a celebrity. they were treating you like... part of it. like you belonged.

—

match days were sacred. they always had been.

you had your routine down to muscle memory at this point: same coffee order, same walk toward the stadium, same seat as you sat in the box with alessia's family with the same quiet buzz settling in your chest as the floodlights came into view.

but there was always a moment, the moment, that made everything else fade.

warm-ups. because that's when alessia would come out.

and without fail, without hesitation, her eyes would lift straight to the stands. straight to you.

it didn't matter how many people were there. whether she was playing in wembley or meadow park, how loud it was, how chaotic, how overwhelming. alessia always found you.

and every single time, you felt it. that tiny, invisible thread pulling between the two of you.

sometimes alessia would give a little wave, subtle and quick. sometimes it was just a look, soft and grounding but enough to say 'i see you'.

and you would smile back, heart already full before the match had even started.

—

the internet, however, had other ideas. it started with edits. then tweets. then entire compilations.

you reacting to goals. you clapping from the stands. you wrapped in an oversized jacket which people knew deep down would be alessia's, cheeks pink from the cold, eyes never leaning the pitch.

people noticed the way you watched alessia. watched her like nothing else existed.

'the way y/n looks at alessia... yeah, that's love.'

'i don't even watch football anymore, i just watch y/n watching football.'

and then, the joke. the one that refused to die and was commented on every one of alessia's posts.

'alessia russo? oh you mean y/n's girlfriend?"

'y/n's girlfriend is playing good atm!'

you discovered that one lying across alessia's chest one evening. alessia sprawled across the couch half watching the tv, half watching you scroll through your phone as you sat between her legs.

you let out a soft snort, reading all the different versions of the comment. alessia glanced down immediately, fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of your sleeve, "what?"

you tilted the phone slightly so alessia could see a little better. then there was a pause, she was reading them. "..that's rude-"

you grinned, shifting so your chin rested properly against alessia's shoulder, "i think it's quite accurate, personally."

"of course you do," alessia huffed, while trying and failing to not smile, "i'm the one who scores the goals for a living."

"and yet," you say start teasingly, eyes sparkling before kissing the corner of her mouth, "you're still only just my girlfriend."

alessia shook her head, but her hand slip up, fingers curling gently at the back of your neck, tugging you just a little closer.

"unbelievable," she murmured but her voice had softened, fond in a way that gave her away completely.

you just tilted your head, brushing a slow kiss along her jaw. "jealous?"

alessia didn't even hesitate. "mhm a little bit."that earned you a quiet laugh, warm and soft, the kind that lingered between them. "you're ridiculous," you whispered.

"yeah, maybe," alessia said, turning her head just enough to catch your lips lightly. "but i'm your ridiculous."

the words barely had time to settle before you kissed her properly this time. deeper, slower. it wasn't rushed or teasing anymore, but something steadier, more certain.

alessia leaned into it instantly, her grip tightening at the back of your neck as she pulled you closer, like she couldn't quite get enough.

you hummed softly against her lips, one hand sliding to alessia's waist, anchoring her there as the kiss lingered—unhurried, warm, familiar in the way only they were.

when the two of you finally pulled back, it wasn't by much. your foreheads brushed, breaths mingling, both of them smiling in that quiet, content way.

"still only just your girlfriend, yeah?" alessia murmured, voice softer now.

you smiled, nudging your nose gently against hers. "for now."

—

after matches, you never rushed off. you waited. always. no matter the weather, rain or shine. you'd wait. even as fans started to recognise you more, gathering near the barriers with hopeful smiles, you'd still wait.

'y/n! could we—just one picture? please!'

'y/n, you looked so nervous during that last corner—'

"oh i wasn't nervous," you'd laugh, even though you absolutely had been. you never said no.

even when it got overwhelming. even when there were more people than you expected. you stayed soft, patient, present—like you couldn't quite believe anyone wanted a piece of your time in the first place.

but the whole time, your eyes flicked back to the tunnel. waiting. looking.

alessia noticed that too. of course she did. she noticed everything about you.

the way you shifted your weight when you were tired. the way you smiled a little too politely when you didn't want to disappoint anyone. the way your fingers curled into the sleeves of whatever you were wearing when the crowd got a little too loud.

so she made it a habit.

no matter what; win, lose, exhausted, buzzing.. she went to you first.

the first time it properly clicked for everyone was after a late winner.

the stadium was still roaring, teammates pulling alessia in every direction but she broke away, scanning the stands with a kind of urgency that didn't go unnoticed.

and then. there. you. hands over her mouth, eyes shining, already halfway leaning over the barrier of meadow park.

alessia didn't slow down. didn't hesitate. she jogged straight over, grin breaking across her face in a way that cameras definitely caught, reaching up to take your hands for just a second.

just long enough.

"you saw that?" alessia laughed, breathless. you shook your head, smiling like you couldn't quite believe it either. "such a show off."

alessia squeezed your fingers. "only for you love."

and then she was gone again pulled back into the chaos but the moment stuck. online, it exploded.

'she scored and immediately went to y/n... yeah i'm unwell.'

'no because why is that so intimate???'

'y/n isn't just a WAG, that's her PERSON.'

'alessia russo: professional footballer, part-time y/n enthusiast.'

later that night, you were curled into alessia's side again, legs tangled, the quiet of your flat wrapping around the two of you.

alessia was scrolling, frowning slightly. you peeked over slightly. "what now?"

"...they've made another edit."

"let me guess," you said, already smiling, ready to joke on. "i'm the main character again."

alessia turned the phone toward you. it was a compilation—you in the stands, you laughing, you reaching out for alessia, all set to soft music.

and right at the end: alessia, looking up at you like you hung the stars. your smile faded into something softer.

"oh."

alessia locked her phone and tossed it aside like it suddenly didn't matter anymore."they don't get it," alessia said quietly.

you frowned slightly. "get what?"

alessia shifted, propping herself up on her elbow, her free hand brushing gently along your cheek. slow, deliberate, like she was memorising you all over again.

"that it's not..." alessia hesitated, searching for the right words. "it's not just you supporting me." your expression softened as you listened to the way she spoke.

"it's you," alessia continued, voice low, steady. "it's always been you. before the noise, before any of this. you show up every single time like it's the most important thing in the world."

you swallowed slightly, her hand coming up to rest over alessia's wrist. "because it is," you said softly.

something in alessia's expression cracked. just a little, just enough to let the affection spill through completely unguarded.

"no one," alessia murmured, leaning in until their foreheads touched, "no one takes top fan from me, yeah?"

you smiled, breath warm where it mingled with hers. "bit possessive, no?"

"very," alessia admitted with a slight smirk. and then she kissed you. not rushed. not playful. just slow, warm, certain like something steady and unshakeable.

you melted into it almost instantly, your hand coming up to rest lightly against alessia's jaw, thumb brushing there in a soft, absent rhythm.

alessia leaned closer without thinking, deepening it just slightly, her other hand sliding from your neck to your shoulder, holding you there like she didn't plan on letting go any time soon.

it was the kind of kiss that lingered. no urgency, no need to prove anything. just the quiet reassurance, built in the way your lips moved together, familiar and easy. you tilted your head, chasing it when alessia shifted slightly, a quiet hum slipping between you both as you smiled into the kiss.

alessia felt it, of course. she always did and it made her soften even more, if that was possible. her thumb traced small, absent patterns against your hip, grounding herself in the moment, in you.

when you both finally pulled back, it was barely an inch close enough that your noses brushed, breaths still shared.

alessia didn't say anything straight away. she just looked at you, eyes softer than before, like the kiss had said everything she'd meant to.

you smiled first, quieter now. “i love you” alessia huffed a small laugh, nudging their noses together again. “i love you so much more."

—

the next match, same routine. same glance up to the stands. same smile. but this time, when alessia scored. she didn’t do her usual jump in the air and then run straight to her teammates.

she tapped the badge on her chest, then pointed straight at you.

clear and intentional. yours.

obviously later on, post match, the internet went wild again.

"y/n’s girlfriend strikes again." plastered across the caption of fan page posting about alessia’s goal

alessia reposted it to her main story, this time with a small photo in the corner which no one else but her had, a sweet photo of you mid-laugh, slightly blurred but completely perfect.

writing a small note underneath it, ‘always her person’

•

yourusername

liked by bethmead and 291,387 others

yourusername don’t mind me just doing my wag duties x

—

user stop guys mother has posted.

user god i wish i could be like y/n’s girlfriend

user but she’s only famous because she’s alessia’s girlfriend?

user who is alessia? i only know y/n’s girlfriend?

alessia love you my girl🩷

yourusername my one and only x

user ugh my parents fr

user ok but like her match fits are to die for

kyracooneycross yeah our little wag😝

you| you would look fit in a city shirt btw x

alessia started at her phone from where is buzzed against her chest, half asleep on the sofa with some terrible reality show playing quietly in the background.

lessi<3| traitor.

the typing bubbles appeared instantly.

you| not traitor champion

then another message.

you| i have medal

you| *one attachment*

the photo which followed immediately after was blurry beyond belief. alessia could just about make out your medal pressed directly against the camera lens and half your forehead.

alessia laughed to herself before replying, shifting slightly on the sofa to a comfier position.

lessi<3| very proud of you baby ❤️

the response took nearly two minutes.

you| call me

and because alessia was weak when it came to you, she did.

the second facetime connected, all alessia saw was flashing lights, blurry movement, and your face way too close to the camera.

"HELLOOOOOO." you shouted, your arms in the air and a dopey smile across your face.

alessia winced dramatically, not expecting the loudness of it all. "jesus christ."

you gasped, stopping your jumping a second and slouching down onto the a seat in a booth . "don't say his full name like that.

"what?" alessia questioned, confused.

"i don't know." you frowned. "that just felt disrespectful."

alessia burst out laughing. your grin widened instantly at the sound. there was music pounding somewhere behind you, teammates yelling over one another, glasses clinking constantly.

you were sat in a booth, man city blue on and a champions 26' in shiny gold writing on the shirt and your medal still proudly on display around your neck.

"you're drunk." alessia giggled watching you having seen this demeanour of yours more than once when you'd had a few drinks.

"no," you said confidently. a beat. "i'm celebratory."

"right." alessia nodded along seriously as a small smile was appearing in her lips watching you take in this moment.

"i've had like..." you squinted in concentration, lips pouting slightly. "...a normal amount."

"and how much is normal?" alessia questioned as you pulled once again the same concentration face before holding up your hand to count but immediately was distracted by the rings which were around your own fingers.

"ooo these are pretty."

"baby."

"sorry. um..." you looked genuinely deep in thought. "i erm.. i don't know."

"that's reassuring." alessia hummed as she watched you turn your rings around before looking back up at the screen with that same drunk but dopey smile.

you smiled lazily. "but i do know that i love you" alessia physically softened. drunk you was dangerous because every thought in your head came out completely unfiltered.

"you're cute," alessia mumbled.

"no, you're cute." your eyes narrowed suspiciously. "wait."

"what?"

"why aren't you here?"

"i had training this morning and unlike you, some of us didn't win the league today." alessia smiled softly at you as your brows furrowed.

before you gasped loudly enough that somebody beside you turned around. "that's so bitter."

"mhm so is." alessia hummed as you nodded along thinking of your next cheeky comment.

"i'd still buy you a drink." you shrugged, before mumbling along to the words of the song which was blasting over the speakers.

"and you'd spill it on me." alessia corrected, knowing there wasn't a night out where you hadn't spilt a drink whether that be on yourself, someone else or the floor.

"and that's just part of the experience baby." alessia smiled helplessly as you leaned further into the booth.

in the background, she could spot a few of your city teammates dancing terribly near the bar. someone had climbed onto a seat already. as someone else blurred in the background was waving a napkin around like a victory flag.

"you still wearing the medal?" alessia asked as you had just gone mute grinning at her on the phone.

but that drew your attention as you looked offended at her that she even had to ask. "obviously." as you proudly lifted it again. "i earned this."

"you did."

your expression softened instantly at how genuine she sounded. for a second, the chaos around you disappeared. "i wish you were here," you admitted quietly as alessia's heart squeezed.

"i know, baby." she whispered as you sat with a sad smile on your face

"i would've kissed you when they gave me the medal." you rambled out taking another sip of the drink in your hand.

"baby you probably can't stand straight."

"i absolutely can."

and as if on cue, somebody bumped into you from behind and you nearly slid straight off the booth. alessia barked out a laugh. "perfect balance there."

"i was attacked." you gasped as alessia hummed knowingly.

you narrowed your eyes at the phone before suddenly perking up. "WAIT."

alessia immediately sighed, pinching the top of her nose, "that never ends well."

you stood abruptly, nearly dropping your phone, and started weaving through the packed bar.

"where are you going?" alessia voice could barely be heard by anyone else in the bar over the music but you were zoned in on her voice only.

"an important mission." you clarified as you wandered through the crowd of your teammates and their family.

"what mission?" alessia asked again but you just grinned back at her, before hugging of your your teammates, grace.

"you'll see."

alessia then watched the ceiling for a solid ten seconds while you stopped and said hello to some friends you hadn't seen since the start of the night as you stumbled around one of london's trendiest bars with absolutely no coordination whatsoever.

you eventually propped your phone against a pillar at the end of the bar, leaning on the front of the bar with a dramtic groan as your arms had basically stuck to the wooden frame.

your cheeks were flushed warm from the alcohol and excitement and your hair messy from the hours of celebrating. your winners medals till hanging proudly around your neck as you kept absentmindedly touching it like you couldn't quite believe it was real.

the music in the private bar was deafening now bass vibrating through the floor, lights flashing across the room while your teammates shouted over one another nearby.

and through all of it, your attention stayed fixed on the tiny image of alessia on your phone screen.

"less?" you asked softly, head now leaning on your arms as the smell of beer filled your nose.

"hm?" her voice came warm through the speaker, quieter and sleepier compared to the chaos around you.

your expression softened immediately. "i won the league." there it was again. that tiny little crack in your voice underneath the drunken happiness. the disbelief. the emotion.

alessia felt her chest ache a little at the sight of you. she could tell this meant everything to you. "yeah," she said gently, smiling properly now. "you really did."

you stared at her for a second with glassy eyes before ruining the emotional moment entirely. "and," you added seriously, lifting a finger for emphasis, "i looked really fit doing it."

alessia snorted. "there she is. that's my girl" your grin spread instantly, all sleepy and smug.

a waitress suddenly appeared beside you as she was carrying another tray of shots and your eyes lit up immediately. but before your hand could even reach for one, alessia narrowed her eyes through the screen. "no."

you blinked slowly. "no what?"

"no more shots."

your mouth dropped open in genuine offence. "but—"

"nope."

"it's literally a title celebration."

"you can celebrate with water."

you recoiled like she'd personally insulted you. "that's actually evil behaviour."

"drink. water."

"you sound exactly like my physio right now." you said as you scowled at your phone, moving the shot that was left by your teammate closer.

"and yet your physio is probably correct too." alessia sassed back with a small grin.

but still muttering complaints under your breath, you grabbed the water glass dramatically, glaring at it like it had personally wronged you before taking the tiniest sip imaginable.

then you held it up proudly toward the camera. "there." before turning your head off camera and downing the shot in one.

alessia laughed softly, shaking her head. "wow. incredible effort. gold star for you."

"i deserve praise."

"you deserve supervision."

your smile turned all soft and lazy at that. "mhm," you hummed, sinking lower into your arms at the bar. "maybe."

the flashing lights caught against the medal around your neck and you looked down at it again, fingertips brushing over the silver absentmindedly.

alessia watched the way your entire expression changed every time you looked at it. still emotional. still processing it.

"come over after?" you asked quietly, eyes lifting back toward the screen.

alessia glanced at the time on her bedside clock. 12:56am. "you're still gonna be out for hours."

"probably."

"and you're drunk."

you smiled faintly. "mhm.”

"and you smell like tequila through the phone."

you let out a surprised laugh, shoulders shaking slightly. "that feels scientifically impossible."

"and yet somehow true."

you laughed properly then head falling back while the sound disappeared slightly beneath the music around you. god, alessia loved hearing you laugh.

when you looked back at the phone your expression had gone soft again. completely unguarded. "you know you're my favourite person, right?"

the sincerity in your voice hit alessia immediately. her entire face softened. "even when i'm annoying?"

you frowned like the answer was obvious. "especially when you're annoying."

a tiny smile tugged at alessia's mouth. you looked so ridiculously fond of her it almost hurt.

then, after a long thoughtful pause, your eyebrows furrowed slightly. "i'm keeping the medal on during sex later."

alessia nearly inhaled her own tongue. "OH MY GOD."

you burst into helpless giggles immediately, shoulders shaking while you hid your face briefly behind one hand. "what?" you laughed. "it's earned jewellery."

"you are actually unbelievable."

"but you love me."

alessia just shook her head, laughing quietly to herself before she really looked at you again.

at the happiness written all over your face. at how relaxed you seemed for the first time in weeks.

and suddenly she felt a little guilty for keeping you on facetime so long when tonight should've been about celebrating with your team.

"baby?"

"hm?" you looked up instantly.

"you should go enjoy your night properly."

your face fell immediately. "i am enjoying my night."

"i know," alessia said gently. "but properly. go be with your teammates."

"but i can do both."

"you've been on facetime to me for over forty-five minutes."

"that's because i like you." the words came out so matter-of-fact that alessia laughed softly.

"i know you do baby"

you slumped further down dramatically until your cheek was squashed against your arm.

"don't make me hang up." the pout on your face was genuinely ridiculous.

"you literally just won the league," alessia smiled. "go celebrate it."

"but i miss you."

"and i'll still be here tomorrow."

you stared at her quietly for a few seconds, visibly torn. then one of your grace suddenly appeared behind you, dropping an arm over your shoulders. "come dance, loser."

you frowned immediately. "i'm busy right now grace."

"with your girlfriend?" grace teased knowingly as she waved to alessia in the background

"yes."

grace then leaned down toward the phone. "she's refusing to socialise, less!"

alessia pointed instantly. "see?"

you groaned dramatically. "you all gang up on me."

"no, we're encouraging fun," alessia corrected quickly as another groan came from your lips.

"i'm already having fun."

"go have more fun."

you sighed heavily, fingers tapping against your medal while you thought about it. then quietly: "will you answer if i call later?"

the softness in your voice made alessia melt all over again. "of course i will."

"promise?"

"i promise."

you looked slightly more reassured at that, shoulders relaxing a little. then your expression turned fond again. "love you."

alessia smiled immediately. "love you too, my champion."

grace grabbed your wrist suddenly, trying to physically drag you away from your set up at the bar. "come ON."

"i'm going!" you complained, laughing breathlessly as you nearly dropped your phone. before hanging up, you pointed lazily at the screen. "you better still fancy me tomorrow."

alessia laughed. "goodnight, baby."

then the call ended.

—

at 2:06am, alessia's phone buzzed violently against her bedside table. she blinked awake sleepily, squinting at the bright screen in the dark room.

y/n❤️ calling...

a smile tugged at her lips instantly. alessia answered immediately.

this time your face appeared much blurrier on screen. you were very obviously more drunk now. hair completely ruined. medal completely on the wrong way as your shirt was slightly ruffled up. eyes glossy and heavy-lidded. you looked overall exhausted.

"hi," you whispered.

alessia laughed quietly, voice rough with sleep. "oh, baby. you are gone."

"no," you argued weakly, blinking slowly at the camera. "i'm fine." you were swaying slightly despite sitting down. definitely not fine.

the music behind you was louder now, more chaotic somehow, while the city girls shouted drunkenly somewhere in the background.

"did you have fun?" alessia asked softly, rubbing her eyes.

you nodded immediately. "mhm."

"good."

a pause. alessia waiting to find out if there was a reason you called or just more drunken ramble.

but then your face crumpled just slightly. "can you come get me." there it was.

alessia's expression softened instantly. "baby..."

"i know," you mumbled tiredly, rubbing one hand over your face as you mascara smudged just that little bit more under your eyes. "i know i said i'd celebrate."

"you did."

"but now i just..." your voice got quieter. "i just want my girlfriend."

the words hit alessia right in the chest. because the adrenaline had worn off now. the excitement had started fading into exhaustion.and after hours of noise and people and drinks and celebrating, you just wanted comfort.

you just wanted her.

"where are the girls?" alessia asked gently.

"dancing." you mumbled flipping the camera around to show the girls dancing and singing along to some club classic.

"and you?"

you looked down at the table for a second before glancing back at the screen. "thinking about you."

alessia smiled helplessly. "that's concerning at two in the morning."

you gave her a sleepy little grin. "please come get me."

"you alright?"

"mhm." you nodded slowly. "just miss you."

alessia sighed softly, already pushing the duvet back and reaching for the hoodie hanging over her chair. "you're lucky you're cute."

you whole face brightened instantly. "so you'll come?"

"yes," alessia smiled. "i'll come get you."

the relief on your face was immediate and obvious. "hurry though."

"why?"

your voice dropped quieter again. "because i want cuddles."

england versus spain always carried that edge now. history. rivalry. a match where nobody could really tell who was gonna be the winner until the 90 minutes were up. the match something a little more personal for some.

alessia stood with her hands on her hips, chest rising and falling, trying to slow her breathing. england had won. hard fought. frustrating in places, a scrappy goal, good chances in other areas.

but her eyes, predictably weren't on the scoreboard. they were on you. spain's number 3.

the two of you had always sort of known each other, mutual friends on social media before the two of you had ever properly met. youth camps, international tournaments, campaigns and passing mentions from teammates.

alessia with england, you with spain. the kind of familiarity where a name rings a bell, a face feels vaguely recognisable but you've never actually shared a conversation. just two players orbiting the same world, crossing paths without ever colliding.

until the one night in london, a mutual friend by the name of niamh charles finally closed the distance and you were introduced to the blonde properly. it was meant to be casual but the music was loud and the people milling everywhere.

but alessia barely noticed any of it once you started talking. there was something disarming about you, the easy confidence and the spanish twang of your accent when you spoke even though you've been in england for the past five years, that and the way you held eye contact just a second too long.

alessia had laughed more than she meant to, stayed closer than she planned to and by the end of the night, when you leaned in with that same quiet charm and said something in spanish that alessia didn't understand but somehow could feel, alessia then knew she was in trouble.

the rest, as it turned out, didn't take long at all. now nearly two years later your both happily living together and still in the same little love bubble.

but now across the pitch though you were still in spain red, hair slightly damp and pushed back in a bun, laughing at something one of your teammates had said. you looked annoyingly unaffected like you hadn't just played ninety minutes under wembley lights.

alessia huffed quietly to herself as she watched from afar walking along the pitch with lotte and georgia. but before she could make her move though she watched as you wandered towards a couple of the england girl more specifically some of the chelsea girls.

alessia's brows pulled together slightly, watching as you effortlessly spoke with aggie, lauren and lucy.

aggie of all people grinned when she saw you wandering over, already tugging at the hem of her shirt. there was a quick exchange, words which alessia couldn't hear and then just like that they swapped.

you handed over your spain shirt, aggie handed over england's. and while alessia shouldn't really be this upset about a silly spain shirt which she knew there was a draw filled of your spanish shirts back at home there was still something underlying in her chest as she watched the interaction.

—

"alessia.”

her name had barely settled in the tunnel before aggie appeared at her side, all bright-eyed mischief and barely-contained excitement, like she’d been waiting for this exact moment.

there was something slung over her shoulder.

red. spanish red. your shirt.

alessia’s gaze dropped immediately. no hesitation, no pretending this time, just instinct. the familiar number, the name she knew by heart even without seeing it properly… yeah. that one stung a bit.

aggie noticed. of course she did. her grin widened, sharp and playful. “you look like you’ve just lost something.”

alessia blinked, straightening slightly, forcing her expression into something neutral. casual. completely unaffected. “no i haven’t,” alessia said quickly. too quickly.

aggie hummed, unconvinced, shifting the shirt so it hung a little more obviously between them. she smoothed a hand over the fabric like she was handling something precious, which, to be fair, she probably thought she was.

“shame, though,” aggie said lightly. “thought you might’ve wanted it.”

alessia let out a scoff, turning away with a dismissive shake of her head, like it didn’t matter in the slightest. like she hadn’t clocked it immediately. like her chest hadn’t done that annoying little thing the second she saw it.

“you swapped,” alessia shrugged. “that’s your problem.”

behind her, aggie let out a soft laugh fond, not mocking. there was no real bite to it, just the kind of teasing that came from knowing exactly what buttons to press.

“yeah, i did,” aggie said, stepping around so she was back in alessia’s line of sight again, still holding the shirt.

“cause she’s,, well… her.” she shrugged, a little sheepish but still grinning, alessia knew how much she appreciated your game as a footballer even if you didn’t play in the same position. “but of a full-circle moment, innit? chelsea and all that.”

that softened it. just slightly.

alessia’s eyes flicked back to the shirt despite herself, then up to aggie. “you’re such a fan.”

“massive,” aggie said, not even pretending otherwise. “always have been. she’s cool”

there was a beat. then her grin turned wicked again. pest mode was back. “but also,” she added, tilting her head, “thought it’d be funny.”

alessia narrowed her eyes immediately. “funny how?”

aggie lifted the shirt again, giving it a little swing. “dunno… just… taking my teammate’s girlfriend’s shirt right in front of her.

alessia couldn’t help it she let out a short laugh, shaking her head. “you’re a nightmare.”

“and you’re jealous,” aggie shot back, far too quickly.

“i am not.”

“you are a bit.”

“i’m not,” alessia repeated, though there was less conviction in it now, her eyes betraying her as they flicked back to the shirt again.

aggie’s expression softened just a touch still teasing, still playful, but warmer now. she bumped her shoulder lightly against alessia.

“y/n was asking about you, by the way,” aggie said, almost as an afterthought.

that landed. alessia’s head turned back sharply. “what?”

aggie grinned again, clearly pleased with herself. “relax. not in a ‘i’m stealing your girlfriend’ way,” she added quickly, laughing. “more like… making sure you weren’t sulking somewhere.”

alessia rolled her eyes, but there was a small, involuntary smile tugging at her lips now. “i don’t sulk.”

“course you don’t,” aggie said, completely unconvinced.

she patted alessia shoulder, already starting to back away down the tunnel. “don’t worry, i’ll look after it.”

alessia watched her go, arms folding across her chest, jaw tightening just slightly.

because yeah she got it. aggie admired you. looked up to you. same club, same badge, same dressing room most weeks. of course she’d want your shirt.

didn’t mean alessia had to like it.

she exhaled sharply through her nose, glancing down the tunnel again.

two steps. three.

—

the tunnel had settled into that strange in-between state. no longer the chaos of full-time, but not quiet enough to disappear into.

staff from both teams drifted past with a post match buzz and headsets, a few players lingered in clusters still chatting on, laughter echoing faintly off the concrete. somewhere further down, cameras were being set and the low hum of media chatter building again.

and yet alessia spotted you instantly. like her eyes had been looking for you before she’d even realised it.

you were leaning back against the wall, one shoulder pressed to the cool concrete, mid-conversation with one of the spanish staff. relaxed. focused. completely at ease in a way that made something in Alessia’s chest tug.

you hadn’t seen her yet.

alessia slowed without meaning to completely forgetting what she had left the england changing room for.

she could go over. she should go over.

but instead, alessia hovered off to the side, thumb dragging aimlessly over her phone screen, not actually reading anything. every few seconds, her gaze flicked back up quick, almost guilty glances, like she might get caught staring.

waiting. and it took longer than she liked.

long enough for her to start overthinking it. long enough for alessia to consider just leaving it, catching you later on a blurry screen and sleep eyes, pretending she hadn’t been—

then you shifted. conversation done, body turning slightly as if to head further down the tunnel back to the away end of wembley.

alessia didn’t think. she just moved. fast.

closing the distance in a few quick strides, alessia reached you before you’d taken more than a step her hand slipping instinctively around your waist, fingers pressing in just enough to anchor you as she tugged you sideways.

out of the flow of people. into a quieter pocket between stacked equipment cases and a wide concrete pillar, tucked just enough out of sight.

you startled, just for a second, your body tensing under her touch before recognition settled. “what on—oh, lessi.”

“hi,” alessia said, a little breathless from the sudden movement, a little pout still lingering in her tone.

her arms stayed where they were. wrapped loosely but deliberately around your waist, hands resting warm against your sides, thumbs absentmindedly brushing small, slow arcs through the fabric of your under shirt.

you blinked at her, then smiled soft, immediate, like it was automatic whenever you looked at her. “hi.”

there was a beat.

neither of you moved away.

alessia didn’t loosen her hold instead, if anything, her grip shifted slightly, fingertips pressing a fraction firmer, like she was grounding herself in you.

“…you swapped shirts,” alessia said, attempting casual and missing it entirely.

your lips twitched. “i did.”

“with aggie.”

“mhm.”

alessia’s eyes narrowed just a touch, trying to look annoyed but the way she leaned in closer, the way her fingers curled slightly into your sides, gave her away completely.

“didn’t even look for me.”

“i did look for you,” you said gently, tilting your head, your hands coming up instinctively to rest at her hips. not grabbing just settling there, familiar, like they belonged.

“you were busy.”

“i was not.”

“you were talking with Lotte.”

“i wasn’t for—” alessia cut herself off, exhaling sharply, her grip tightening for a second before easing again. “that’s not the point.”

your smile widened, fond and just a little bit teasing. “no?”

“no.” alessia muttered, stepping that tiny bit closer without thinking, until there was barely any space left between you. “i wanted it.”

“what? the shirt?”

“yes, the shirt.”

you hummed, like you were considering it deeply, even as your thumbs started to move slow, absent strokes along the sides of her hips, tracing the fabric there, grounding and warm.

“un poco posesivo de tu parte…” you murmured softly. (“a little possessive of you”)

alessia blinked, immediately suspicious. “what?”

you just smiled, all innocence, your fingers slipping a fraction further under the hem of her shirt barely there, just enough for your fingertips to brush warm skin.

“nothing, te amo.”

her frown deepened, though she didn’t move your hands away. “no.. what did you just say?”

“mhm?” you tilted your head, feigning confusion. “i said it’s unfortunate.”

“you did not say that,” alessia shot back instantly. you bit back a grin. “maybe you should learn spanish.”

“or maybe you should speak english.”

“¿dónde está la diversión en eso?” you teased, your voice softer now, your hands settling more securely at her waist, thumbs pressing gentle, rhythmic circles against her skin. (“where’s the fun in that?”)

alessia stared at you blankly for a second, then sighed, her forehead tipping briefly toward yours. “…i don’t know what that means either.”

“that sounds like a you problem,” you said lightly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her lips.

quick. but warm.

your hands tightened slightly at her waist as you did, anchoring her there, like you didn’t want her slipping away anytime soon.

alessia rolled her eyes, but there was a smile tugging at her mouth now, her hands shifting one sliding from your side up along your back, fingers curling lightly into your shirt.

“you’re annoying.”

“y todavía me amas,” you murmured, leaning in closer, your nose brushing hers. (“and you still love me,”)

alessia squinted at you, suspicious. “that better not be something cocky.” your grin gave you away instantly. “y/n.”

“what?” you laughed quietly. “you don’t even know what i said.”

“that’s the problem!” your expression softened just a touch at that something gentler slipping in. you leaned in again, this time slower. a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

then another proper kiss this time, lingering just long enough for her to melt into it slightly, her grip on you tightening in response.

her thumb brushed unconsciously along your side as she pulled you a fraction closer.

“…that doesn’t replace it,” alessia murmured when you pulled back, though her voice had lost all bite it previously had.

“mh,” you hummed, lips trailing lightly along her jaw, just beneath her ear. “no?”

“no.”

“qué pena…” you whispered against her skin. (“what a shame…”)

alessia let out a quiet, frustrated sound, her head tipping back just slightly before she caught herself. “stop doing that.”

“doing what?”

“speaking spanish when you know i don’t understand.” you pulled back just enough to look at her, your hands still steady on her waist, thumbs brushing slow, absent patterns.

“i can translate, my love.”

“then translate.”

you considered her for a moment, eyes flicking between hers, then shook your head slightly, a teasing smile returning.

“mhm… just that i love my girlfriend.”

alessia let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking her head, her hand pressing lightly against your shoulder. “you’re unbelievable.”

“and you’re still pouting.”

“i am not.”

you lifted a hand, thumb brushing gently over her lower lip, soft and deliberate. “you are.”

alessia huffed but didn’t pull away. her fingers tightened slightly in your shirt instead. “…i still wanted your shirt,” she admitted quietly.

that softened you completely. “okay,” you said, voice gentler now. “next time, in the reverse fixture. your the first person i find.”

alessia searched your face for a second, like she was weighing it. “…promise?”

“pinky promise.”

there was a small pause.then your smile shifted mischief creeping back in.

“but…”

alessia narrowed her eyes immediately. “what.”

“we can swap something else.”

alessia blinked, still a little dazed. “like what?”

you shrugged lightly, like it was obvious, your hands giving her waist a small, playful squeeze. “shorts?”

alessia froze. “…what?”

“my shorts,” you repeated casually. “you can have them.” she stared at you, completely thrown.

“in the tunnel?” alessia hissed, glancing instinctively over her shoulder, her hand flattening briefly against your side like she might physically keep you in place. “are you serious?”

you grinned. “what? it’s efficient.”

“there are people here.”

“they’re busy.”

“and there are cameras here.”

“not right here,” you murmured, leaning in again, your lips brushing just beneath her ear, your fingers pressing a little firmer into her waist as you held her there.

“and besides…”

your voice dropped, softer now. “en casa puedes verme sin nada cuando quieras…” (“at home you can see me without anything whenever you want...")

alessia went completely still. her hands stilled on you, grip tightening just slightly. “…i don’t—” she started, then stopped, she didn’t know what you had said but she had a feeling it wasn’t exactly family friendly as her eyes widened a fraction. “wait.”

you pulled back just enough to see her face, clearly enjoying yourself far too much.

“that sounded suspicious.”

“you think?”

“yeah,” alessia said immediately. “translate it.” you just smiled. “y/n.”

“hmm?”

“translate it.”

“no.”

alessia gasped quietly, shoving at your shoulder, though she didn’t actually create any distance. “you’re actually the worst.”

you laughed under your breath. “you’ll survive.”

alessia glanced around again, lowering her voice, but her hands had crept higher now one settling more firmly at your back, pulling you just that little bit closer again. “you cannot just say things like that when there are people around.”

“why?” you said lightly. “you don’t even know what I said.”

“i know you and i know that tone.”

you grinned. “ok fair.”

alessia shook her head, but she didn’t let go if anything, she leaned in closer, her forehead brushing yours for a second.

“…later,” you muttered. your expression softened again, all teasing slipping away just for her.

“later,” she agreed.

then, quieter, right against her lips “te lo traduzco después.” (“I'll translate it for you later.")

alessia exhaled softly, something between exasperation and a smile.“you’re unbelievable.”

“and you love it when i in talk spanish.”

alessia didn’t even try to argue cause it was true even if she had no idea what it was you were saying the accent, the confidence that radiated you when you spoke in spanish made her melt.

so instead, alessia pulled you in properly this time one hand firm at your back, the other still at your side as she kissed you again.

quick. warm. familiar in a way that made the rest of the tunnel fade out for just a second.

the kiss lingered just a second longer than it probably should have soft, warm, grounding in a way that made everything else blur out for a moment.

alessia’s hand stayed firm at your back, fingers curled slightly into the fabric like she didn’t quite want to let go yet. your thumb brushed once more along her side, slow and absent, before you finally pulled back just enough to breathe, just enough to look at her.

alessia was smiling now. not the pouty, jealous one from before something softer, a little quieter, like she’d settled again.

“you’re trouble,” alessia murmured, though there was no real complaint behind it.

“and you love it,” you replied easily.

alessia huffed a small laugh, eyes flicking down briefly to your lips before back up again, like she was considering going back in.

and she probably would have—

“LESS!” the shout echoed down the tunnel, cutting straight through the moment. taylor.

alessia froze. you didn’t even try to hide your grin.

a second voice followed, louder, more dramatic. the one and only ella toone. “i swear to god, if you’re still loitering! you’re literally the last one left!”

alessia squeezed her eyes shut for half a second, her forehead dropping lightly against yours in defeat. “..unbelievable,” alessia muttered.

you laughed softly, your hands sliding from her waist but not completely letting go fingers still hooked loosely at her sides like you were reluctant too.

“go,” you said gently, nudging her slightly. “before they come looking.”

“they already are,” alessia mumbled, though she didn’t move straight away. her hands lingered one brushing down your arm, slow and absent, like she was memorising the feeling. the other gave your waist one last small squeeze.

another shout from down the tunnel— “LESS!”

this one followed by a chorus of exaggerated groans.

“COMING!” alessia called back, finally pulling away but only just.

she took a step back, then another… then paused, looking at you again like she’d forgotten something important. “you better keep that promise,” alessia said, pointing lightly at you.

you tilted your head, all innocence. “what one?”

alessia narrowed her eyes, though her smile gave her away. “don’t start.”

you laughed, stepping back yourself now. “go shower, lessi.”

alessia rolled her eyes, but there was that softness again as she leaned in quickly stealing one last kiss, fast and fleeting, like a secret. “…later,” alessia murmured against your lips.

“later,” you echoed.

then she was gone jogging back into the noise of the tunnel, getting an immediate round of teasing the second she rejoined her teammates.

you watched her for a second longer than necessary, a quiet smile settling in.

alessia was sitting beside you on a blanket which was spread across the sand, her legs tucked under neath her as she leans comfortably against your shoulder.

somewhere behind the two of you, a couple of people are laughing. a dog runs across the beach chasing a tennis ball. the scent of salt hangs in the evening air.

it's perfect.

you swallow hard. "you're quiet," alessia says, nudging your shoulder.

you glance down to find her bright blue eyes already looking at you. "i'm always quiet."

"not this quiet." alessia smiles before turning her attention back to the horizon.

the two of you had been together for nearly four years now.

four years of busy schedules. four years of late-night phone calls. four years of celebrating victories and surviving disappointments. four years of finding home in each other.

"i've been thinking lately," alessia says softly, as the a crisp breeze blows across you both as your stomach immediately twists. dangerous words.

"oh yeah?" you hum, your arm which was wrapped around her moving slightly closer to her. your mind going a hundred to one as you were unsure as to what she was going to come out with. 

"yeah." alessia begins to draws patterns into the sand with her fingertip. "about life."

you nearly let a laugh slip. of course. of all days. of all conversations alessia chooses this one.

"what about it?"

alessia just shrugs as the wind catches a few strands of her hair, "do you ever think about where you'll be in ten years time, like where we'll be?"

you feel the question settle in your chest. because you had thought about it. more than you'd ever admitted out loud.

⸻

three months earlier.

you had known before you admitted it to yourself. it wasn't some huge revelation or dramatic moment or lightning bolt. it was just a hundred tiny moments piling up until the answer became obvious.

moments like watching alessia fall asleep on the sofa after a match. like hearing her talk excitedly about absolutely nothing. like listening to her complain about some joke her teammates pulled on her that day whilst deep down secretly loving every second of it or like every single time you caught yourself thinking about the future and realising alessia was in all of it.

every version, plan and dream. alessia was there, at the forefront of it.

the realisation hit you properly at ella's wedding. not during the ceremony or the speeches. it happened later, when most people had moved onto the dance floor.

alessia had kicked off her heels and was laughing so hard she could barely stand upright. the fairy lights hanging above them reflected in her eyes and you had looked at her and thought- ‘there she is, my person.’

the thought had arrived with such certainty that it startled you. no 'i think'. no 'maybe someday'. no 'what if'. just certainty.

you wanted were going to marry her.

but planning a proposal had turned out to be significantly less romantic than you had imagined. mostly because you'd never realised how many decisions actually went into asking someone to marry you.

the ring, location, date, weather, photographer, travel, excuses. backup plans and then backup plans for the backup plans.

every time you thought you'd finally figured everything out, another detail appeared and there was something else to organise and something else which could potentially go wrong.

at one point you'd spent nearly forty-five minutes researching average sunset times before realising you'd completely forgotten to book the restaurant you'd already decided they were going to afterwards.

then the ring alone had nearly driven you insane.

you'd spent weeks researching. looking at hundreds of different styles, saving photos, deleting them again, second-guessing every decision you made.

some were too flashy, other too trendy or too complicated and some just weren't alessia. nothing felt quite right until the moment you seen it. a ring which was simple but so elegant in its own timeless sort of way and exactly like her.

the day you picked it up, you had sat alone in your car for almost twenty minutes with the tiny velvet box resting in your palm.

staring at it and turning it over while trying not to panic because suddenly it wasn't some distant idea you'd been carrying around since ella's wedding. it wasn't a maybe anymore, it was real.

you were actually going to ask alessia russo to marry you and hopefully, hopefully, alessia russo was going to say yes.

but before you could even think about proposal locations or photographers, though, there was one thing you knew you wanted to do first; ask for her parents' blessing.

it wasn't something you felt obligated to do. alessia wasn't anyone's possession, the decision belonged entirely to her.

but you loved her family almost as much as you loved alessia, and you wanted them to know how serious this was before anyone else did.

the nerves you'd felt that day as you sat in the car rehearsing over and over on the drive over of what to say just to forget it the moment you got to the doorstep.

maybe worse. the house is quieter than you had expected. a kettle clicks somewhere in the kitchen. a tv murmurs low in the background. it's normal. ordinary. safe. which somehow makes you more nervous.

alessia's dad, mario was in the living room. he looks up from his seat, then straightens when he sees you properly.

"you're making me think you've done something you shouldn't have?" mario had laughed when you appeared at their front door looking unusually serious.

"i haven't but i need to ask you both something."

"should we be worried?" carol had asked.

you had swallowed hard, then harder. then somehow managed to force the words out. "no. well. hopefully not."

both of them were looking at you now. waiting, nervous to what you were going to say. you suddenly felt about sixteen years old. you opened your mouth to say the words but then paused.

a very long pause. then finally— "i want to marry your daughter."

the silence that followed lasted approximately three seconds but it felt like three years. then carol hand flew straight to her mouth. mario just blinked, twice before breaking into the biggest smile you had ever seen.

"oh thank god," mario said a big sigh coming from him.

you frowned, unsure if their reaction was good or not, "what?"

"we thought somebody was dying." he joked, carol immediately smacked his arm.

"what he means," carol said, already tearing up slightly, "is yes. of course yes."

you laughed despite yourself. relief flooding through you so quickly you thought your knees might actually give out.

"you make her happy," mario continued, his voice softer now as he moved to take a sip of his tea. "and that's all we've ever wanted for her."

"and you've loved her from day one, it was obvious and alessia, well she's head over heels for you," carol added, as she sent you a loving smile.

"you're already family, y/n."

and that, that line nearly finished you off. by the time you left their house that afternoon, your cheeks hurt from smiling.

the blessing wasn't permission. it wasn't an approval you needed but hearing the people who knew alessia best tell you you belonged in their family made something settle inside you chest. made everything feel even more real.

but once that was over then came keeping secrets. which turned out to be almost impossible especially around alessia russo.

because alessia seemed to noticed everything. everything.

the first near-disaster happened when you accidentally left a jewellery website open on your laptop. you'd practically launched herself across the room to close it.

alessia had looked suspicious for approximately three days afterwards.

the second happened when you received a phone call from the photographer whilst standing right next to alessia. you'd somehow managed to convince her it was a work call.

a terrible lie, if you'd ever heard one and one alessia definitely hadn't believed but somehow she'd let it go.

the third near-disaster involved ella which was honestly inevitable and you were surprised at how far down the line you had planned before ella sussed anything.

"you look stressed." ella looked right through your eyes as you were out for coffee with her and alessia, alessia up at the counter ordering for the three of you.

"maybe because i am stressed." you quipped back fast, not meaning for the tone of your voice to come across the way it did.

"proposal stressed?"

you had nearly choked on your words and ella's grin had been infuriating. "you are terrible at hiding things."

after that the weeks passed painfully slowly.

you checked the ring approximately twelve times a day. changed the proposal locations three times. panicked over the weather forecasts. then panicked because you were panicking.

the closer it got, the more nervous you became. not because you thought alessia would say no. you knew she wouldn't at least you hoped she wouldn't. ninety-nine point nine percent sure.

the nerves came from wanting it to be perfect because alessia deserved perfect. deserved every good thing in the world and you wanted this moment to feel like the two of you.

not grand. not over-the-top.

just real, honestly and just pure love.

⸻

you hum, thinking about alessia's question, "yeah i do think about the future definitely"

alessia nods her head in response, the conversation clearly not going any further as you both look out at the beach in front of you. maybe not talking but enjoying each others company,

the holiday you both were on had been nice, a time to really appreciate one another. alessia enjoying herself after a busy season, fully relaxing and letting her hair down while you knew in the back of your head this would be a holiday alessia wouldn't want to forget any time soon.

the beach however, was quieter than before. the sun beginning to disappear beneath the horizon, reflecting all sorts of orange tones onto the water.

your pulse is so loud your convinced alessia can hear it. as she beside you is resting her head against your shoulder. comfortable and completely unaware.

you take a shaky breath, soon, this is it. no more planning, waiting or rehearsing speeches while looking at the ceiling tiles while trying to fall asleep.

"i don't know," alessia says quietly. "i just think about it sometimes."

you smiles softly, knowing she's going back to what you were just talking about, "yeah?"

"yeah." alessia shrugs. "when we're old."

you lets out a laugh, your fingers playing the the end of her ponytail, "we're only twenty six, less-"

"i know."

"but you're already planning retirement?"

alessia nudges you shoulder, you still laughing. "babe, i'm being serious."

you raise your hands in surrender, "sorry, love" and then for a moment, neither of you speak. the sea fills the silence, the waves crashes against one another.

then alessia smiles. "i think you'll be one of those people who refuses to admit they're old."

you scoff. "excuse me?"

"you will."

"will not."

"you absolutely will."

you rolls her eyes as alessia laughs the vision seemingly playing out in her imagination. "you'll be complaining about your knees."

"i do not complain about my knees." you whine, wondering when this conversation became just taking the mick out of you.

"you literally complained about your knee yesterday." alessia deadpanned, turning slightly to look at you.

"that's because i hit it off the side of the bed." you frowned, a small pout lining your lips.

"oh my poor baby" alessia cooed, her hand reaching out to your cheek as you tried to keep your deep frown however the smile on alessia's face was enough to make you melt and you let out a laugh as did she.

the sound gets carried away by the wind. beside you, alessia smiles. the kind of smile you could spend a lifetime looking at. the kind that still makes you stomach flip, even now.

especially now.

"i think we'll still be like this."

you glance across. "like what?"

alessia looks down at your intertwined hands, shrugging like it was nothing, "us."

the simple answer makes your chest ache, good ache. the kind that only comes from loving someone this much.

"i think we'll still annoy each other."

you snorts, agreeing knowing that sometimes all you both did was wind the other one up, "oh definitely."

"and you'll still steal all the blankets." alessia continued her ramble as your brows furrowed slightly.

"i do not."

"you absolutely do."

you decide not to argue, mostly because alessia is right. she taking your silence as that she won that case, laughing slightly as her expression softens.

"i don't really care where we are." alessia admits, the confession is quiet but honest. your breath catching slightly as alessia squeezes your hand, "i just want you there"

the words hit harder than they should because alessia has no idea. no idea what's about to happen or that you've spend months planning this. no idea that the future she's talking about is sitting in your back pocket.

you stare at her, at the women you've built a life with and the women you want beside you forever.

you stand suddenly, a small gasp coming from alessia at the sudden movement before a frown appears on her life, "what are you doing?"

you hold out a hand, a small smile on your lips "come for a walk with me,"

alessia smiles immediately, smoothing out her skirt as she stands, "okay," as she takes your hand without hesitation, like she always does.

the sand shifts beneath your feet as you both wander slowly along the shoreline. the water occasionally brushes your ankles before retreating again. neither of you lets go.

you both don't need to fill the silence. you never have. eventually you stop and the beach stretches around them.

the sea sparkles beneath the fading sunlight. everything feels still and peaceful.

alessia turns towards you wind catches her blonde hair as her cheeks are pink from the cool evening air and for a moment she looks exactly like every future you have ever imagined.

every birthday. every holiday. every ordinary tuesday. every version. just her.

alessia smiles, looking into your eyes, "what?" you shake your head, you were just admiring her.

it was nothing but everything. how were you supposed to explain that your looking at the love of your life? that your looking at home?

so instead you steps closer, pressing a kiss against alessia's forehead which alessia immediately melts into it. a content sigh escaping her.

when you pulls back, alessia's eyes are shining. "i love you, you know."

you smiles, "i know and i love you,, so much"

alessia rises onto her toes and kisses you. slow, warm and familiar. the kind of kiss that feels like every day you've both already shared and every day still to come. when you finally part, neither moves far away.

forehead touching as your hands are interlinked and the world narrowing until it's just them.

and that's when you suddenly know you can't wait any longer. not when the future you've been dreaming about is standing right in front of you. not when every single thing you want is already here.

you looks at her, really look at her. the women who has become your home, the women you want beside you for every version of the future.

and then you reach into your pocket.

alessia frowns, not unhappy by confused like it’s not. clicked in her head what’s happening yet, "y/n?"

your hands are shaking and the small velvet box feels impossibly heavy.

alessia's eyes drop to it almost immediately, then widen and somehow widen again. "oh my god."

you laugh nervously, all the words you wanted to tell her suddenly disappearing, "yeah" is all you manage to squeak out before your voice cracks. a brilliant start.

alessia's hand flies to her mouth, "no, baby”

you laugh again, "unfortunately, yes."

tears are already gathering in alessia's eyes as you take a shaky breath before slowly lowers yourself onto one knee in the sand and the world seems to stop. alessia stares at you, lovingly but completely frozen in place. "oh my god."

you open the box and the ring catches the last golden light of the sunset and suddenly every speech you'd prepared disappears. every carefully rehearsed sentence, every plan.

gone meaning it only left the truth.

"alessia, my lessi." you start with as your own eyes are burning now. "i could stand here and tell you every reason i love you."

a wet laugh escapes alessia, a cute pout appearing on her lips, "y/n..."

"but we'd be here all night."

alessia laughs through her tears as you smile before continues.

"you make every ordinary day better and you make every difficult day easier." your voice trembles as you spoke with nothing but pure love for her. "and every good day unforgettable."

alessia is crying openly now and so are you, "

"i don't know what the future looks like." you take a breath, wiping your face, "and i don't know where football will take us"

"i don't know where we'll be in ten years." you slip in as alessia's face crumples remember the conversation you both just had. the question, the future.

"but i do know one thing." your grip tightens slightly around the ring box. "i know i want every part of it with you."

a sob escapes alessia, the kind that nearly makes you cry harder as you smile through it. then finally asks the question you'd carried around for months. "so alessia russo will you marry me?"

for a moment alessia just stares, letting the whole moment sink in. she's crying, laughing, in pure disbelief. feeling every emotion as it hits her. thinking for a moment that she can't belief this is happening.

then suddenly she drops to her knees in the sand. "y/n."

you start laughing through her tears, you whisper nervously, "you're taking a really long time to answer."

that earns a watery laugh as alessia grabs your face with both hands. your foreheads touching as your tears mix.

"you idiot."

you grin, "that's not a yes."

alessia laughs again the. whispers the easiest answer she's ever given. "yes."

your breath catches and every nerve you felt disappeared as alessia smiles bright and beautiful and completely overwhelmed, "of course it's a yes"

the relief hit you all at once, powerful enough to steal the air from your lungs. alessia laughs as you pull her into a hug. the two of you nearly topple into the sand but neither of you cares.

"yes?" you asks again, just to make sure.

alessia cups your face. "yes."

a kiss. "yes"

another kiss. "yes, yes yes!"

you laugh helplessly as the ring is still sitting forgotten in the box between the two of you, "should probably put this on you then"

alessia looks down, "oh”

you both laugh as you carefully slide the ring into her finger. perfect as alessia stares at it then back at you and suddenly she's crying again. "oh no"

you kiss her anyway. the moment your lips meet, everything falls away. the sound of a slight cheer in the distance from passer-by's, the wind brushing past, the tears still clinging to her lashes. it all disappears.

alessia kisses you back with the same overwhelming certainty she'd said yes with, one hand sliding up to cradle your jaw while the other curls tightly into the front of your shirt as though she's afraid that, if she lets go, she'll wake up and discover this was all a dream.

the kiss is slow, unhurried, filled with soft smiles that brush against each other's lips every few seconds, both of you unable to stop grinning.

you deepen it only slightly, your thumb stroking gently along her cheek, catching the dampness left behind by happy tears. she melts into you with a quiet, contented sigh, her forehead bumping yours for the briefest moment before she closes the distance again, stealing another kiss, then another.

every touch is tender, every movement full of years of love finally leading to this single moment. when you eventually part, it's only by a fraction, your noses still touching, your breaths mingling, both of you smiling so widely it almost makes kissing impossible.

yet neither of you can stop leaning back in, as if one kiss could never be enough now that you know you'll have forever.

when you both finally pull apart, the sun has almost disappeared completely. alessia rests her head against your shoulder and for a while they simply stand there.

listening to the waves and holding each other. watching as the sky fade from gold to pink. then alessia lifts your joined hands and the ring catches the last of the light. "ten years."

you smile "hm?"

"you never answered me."

"what?"

alessia looks at her, a small smile in between her lips, "where do you think we'll be in ten years?"

you stare at her. at the woman you loves, at your fiancée and then you smile. slow and certain. "i don't know"

alessia laughs. "great answer babe"

you squeeze her hand, "but i do know you'll be there" the smile that spreads across alessia's face could rival the sunset. "yeah?"

"yeah."

alessia steps closer. close enough that there isn't any space left between them. good."

you wrap your arms around her, holding her tightly. holding her like you plan to for the rest of your life and as the final sliver of sunlight disappears beyond the horizon, you both stand together on the beach.

no longer wondering about the future. no longer dreaming about it. instead living it, together.

mummy pickups were rare. only really reserved for off days or off season. they were special ones.

so on a random tuesday, the clouds grey and unpleasant as you lined up with other kids in your class, all wrapped up in warm coats and your backpack hanging off your shoulder shuffling towards the playground.

you were already lined up with the other kids, a slower step in your walk as the day had tired you out. you were already half-turned ready to spot familiar faces or a familiar laugh.

but then you saw.

saw the familiar blonde hair. your mummy. sunglasses on, hoddie pulled up and trying very hard to blend in and failing completely.

you stopped dead as your teacher called your name to help you spot who was collecting you. "MUMMY?" you spiralled, voice going an octave higher than usual.

alessia barely had time to open her arms before you launched yourself forward, backpack bouncing wildly as you ran. the teacher looking up with a warm smile as you ran towards your mummy.

"mummy! you're here!"

"i'm here, baby," alessia laughed, dropping into a crouch just in time to catch you, "i said i'd try, didn't i?"

you wrapped yourself around her like an octopus, legs squeezing tight as your face buried in your mummy's neck. to anyone else they'd think she'd been gone on a week long trip when in reality she kissed you goodbye as your nonna picked you up to take you to school this morning.

"i thought nonna was pickin' me up. she said dat this mornin'" you said, muffled. "i was gonna tell her about my book that we are learnin' bout!"

"well, you can still tell me," alessia said softly, lifting you properly as you settled on her hip like it was the most natural thing in the world and it was. "i'd love to hear all about it!"

you pulled back, eyes shining, "it bout a this big monster..." you began trailing off in big amounts of detail. your arms flying around as you spoke. alessia listening with a smile.

"wow, that sounds like quite the story" alessia smiled, her heart warm in her chest.

you waved some of your friends and your teacher goodbye as you still clung to your mummy like she might disappear if you let go.

once the two of you were through the gate and heading down the pavement, alessia set you down gently but you kept hold of her hand with both of yours.

"are you really taking me home?” you asked, suspiciously as sometimes your mummy would pick you up but then have to rush off somewhere else and do boring ‘adult things’ as she would tell you.

"i really am." alessia smiled as you looked up at your mummy your brow relaxing slightly but still not fully convinced

"all the way?" you asked just making sure as you both walked down the street and closer to your home.

"all the way." alessia echoed as that seemed to do it as you let out a content hum, you swinging your hand back and forth with your mummy’s

"what about your football?” you asked, cause the usual reason mummy couldn’t pick you up everyday from school was because her training finished at the same time you would finish school.

"we finished early today” alessia smiled, knowing it was the first thing that sprung to mind when wondering what to do with her early finish.

you gasped dramatically. "so this is a surprise pick-up."

"it sure is, lovie”

you beamed, wide. you liked when your mummy picked you up. "the best kind."

you skipped alongside alessia, excitement spilling out of her in bursts. "nonna picks me up slow," you explained, hopping over a crack in the pavement. "cause she talks to everyone. and nonno always brings me snacks and uncle gio lets me sit on his shoulders cause he walks too fast."

“uncle gio does walk like a giant doesn’t he?” alessia said drawing a string of laugher from you before asking “and me?"

you thought carefully. "you are the best, duh." alessia laughed, shaking her head. "high praise that is lovie!”

you walked past the small park which wasn’t far from your house and a one you often spent time in with your uncles after school. you tugged at your mummy’s sleeve. "we go later? cause i wanna show you where i scored against uncle luca the other day!”

"we can," alessia smiled, moving a bit of your hair out of your face, as your walking was starting to slow. "if you've got the energy."

"i do," you said confidently even though the two of you were definitely walking slower than when you came out the school gates. but then, quieter, "but i like just walking with you."

that did something to alessia. she squeezed your hand, thumb brushing over your small knuckles. "me too, lovie."

as they turned onto their street, you leaned into your mummy’s side, excitement finally settling into something softer, calmer.

"mummy?" you asked.

"yeah?"

"can you pick me up again tomorrow?"