#grumpy universe asks

"ok." was the most response your mummy got this morning as you stirred a little more, leah lying across from you scrolling aimlessly through her phone.

"and don't give mama a hard time." alessia added on the end her expression a bit more firm even though you didn't see it you could hear it

you moved to sit up slightly as you shot your mummy an offended look. "i never do. i mama's angel!"

leah had laughed so hard she'd nearly spilled her coffee on the white sheets of the bed, before muttering, "my angel devil"

several hours later and leah would come to regret not checking the wardrobe before casually mentioning the england shirt.

she's been so confident, too confident of everything going smoothly.

alessia had laid everything out before leaving for matchday. your tiny england shirt. navy shorts. white frilly socks. even your favourite little trainers sat neatly by the bedroom door.

simple and easy. there was absolutely no reason this should become difficult.

"angel," leah called from the bottom of the stairs as she slipped her own jacket on, having been ready for ages now. "are you nearly ready?"

"nearly!" you callled back your voice travelling down the stairs.

leah smiled to herself. "good girl!" she checked the time on her phone, you both were running perfectly on time.

five minutes passed and leah packed snacks into your little backpack, knowing majority would more than likely be gone before you even made it to wembley.

another five minutes disappeared. still no small footsteps. still no excited five-year-old charging down the stairs announcing that you were ready.

leah frowned as she placed her keys back on the table that was next to the door, "angel?"

"still getting dressed!" you called back, sounding hurried.

"...how are you still getting dressed?" leah called back but you probably hadn't heard her as there was no response just the unmistakable sound of wardrobe doors opening and closing and drawers sliding

something falling onto the floor and a tiny voice saying, "oops."

leah laughed quietly to herself but that should've been her warning.

she climbed the stairs, already rehearsing a gentle reminder that they needed to leave soon. "angel?" she knocked lightly before pushing open the bedroom door.

"...absolutely not." leah gasps as she stood mouth wide open at the door

you stood proudly in front of the full-length mirror, one hand on your hip, the other smoothing down the front of your shirt with enormous satisfaction.

not the england shirt alessia had carefully folded onto your bed. not even one of your many arsenal tops.

instead... you were wearing a tiny barcelona shirt that reached just below your shorts. the blue and garnet stripes looked almost comically bright against the rest of the room.

leah slowly walked around until she could see the back, her shoulders dropped.

across it, in bold white letters... ALEXIA.. 11

you spun around with the biggest grin imaginable. "i look pretty."

leah pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to think of a way that was going to slowly let you down, "angel..."

"what?" you glanced at your mama through the mirror, slightly confused you were ready so why weren't you leaving yet?

"...you do look pretty." leah began, her bottom lip being bit by her top lip at she tried desperately to find the words,  "you also look.... very spanish-"

you giggled, the type that would make anyone melt, you definitely not understanding what leah was getting at, " i match alexia!"

"...you certainly do." leah sighed as you twirled twirled once in front of the mirror before holding your arms out dramatically.

"so we're ready!"

"no." leah said quickly as you stopped still.

you blinked, confused. "...no?"

"no." leah echoed as she walked over to the bed and picked up the untouched england shirt. it still had the tiny fold lines from where alessia had laid it out that morning.

leah held it up. "what happened to this one?"

you shrugged with complete innocence. "i changed my mind."

"i can see that." leah said as the england top stayed in her hands, there was no ways she could let you watch england in a barcelona shirt.. "we're watching england."

"i know."

"so..."

"so." you shrugged, you didn't get what the problem was, mama had asked you to get ready so you did.

"...why are you dressed like barcelona?" leah asked as maybe there was a compromise the two of you could make and you would wear the england shirt to the england game.

"'cause alexia plays there." you smiled, pointing to the shirt you were wearing as leah nodded, "and she's my favourite."

"i know she is."

"so..." you looked at her as though that explained absolutely everything which, in your mind, it did.

leah stared back as the silence stretched. eventually leah crouched so you both were at eye level. "sweetheart..."

"yeah?" you smiled at leah.

"you can wear this another day." leah tried slowly it hurting slightly that she was going to have to hurt your feelings slightly.

"but i want it today." you frowned, as your brow furrowed.

"but england are playing spain" leah tried again to explain, as you nodded along "alexia plays for spain... so don't you think.."

leah paused, mentally trying to solve a puzzle that had currently had no solution. "...maybe today we wear england?"

"i am supporting england." you told leah as she blinked losing your point of argument straight away.

"...you're wearing spain's captain on your back." leah pointed to your barcelona shirt.

"it's barcelona."

"i know it's barcelona."

"so not spain." you quipped back with a smile as leah was stunned slightly by your quickness.

leah opened her mouth then closed it again. technically... "that is not the point."

"but mummy knows i love alexia." you pouted, as leah held you closer rubbing a hand up and down your back as she hummed.

"she love alexia too..." you continued your ramble, as leah's face turned a little, "and alexia is mummy's friend"

"...they are?" leah asked more thinking aloud, not being totally in the loop on that apparent friendship.

"so it's nice." you finished your ramble as you looked a leah with a small smile, as she rubbed a hand over her face.

somehow every answer only made the conversation harder, "you're making this incredibly difficult for someone who's only five." leah mumbled as she looked back at you.

"i'm nearly six."

"that doesn't help."

you folded your tiny arms, deciding you weren't taking the shirt off. "i'm wearing this one."

"no.”

twenty minutes later, the england shirt had been offered and rejected. an arsenal shirt had been suggested as a compromise and again rejected.

even a plain white t-shirt had somehow been dismissed because... "it doesn't have football on it."

leah was rapidly running out of ideas.

"angel."

"no."

"angel."

"no."

"you have approximately three minutes before we absolutely have to leave." leah spoke seriously looking at the time on her phone before sliding it back in her pocket.

"i'm ready." you said with a hint of sass as you stood hand on the stair railing coming down the stairs painfully slow.

"in the wrong shirt." leah mumbled turning to grab her keys as you heard her, "in the right shirt."

leah turned back to you as you managed to come down a stair, "what if mummy feels sad?"

your eyes widened as you pressed both hands dramatically to your cheeks taking a seat on the stairs, "mummy would never be sad."

"she might." leah raised an eyebrow, this was her last gamble.

"no." you huffed.

"she could think you aren't cheering for england."

you frowned, really frowned and for a whole five seconds leah thought she'd finally won.

then your little face lit up. "i'll cheer really loud."

"...in a spain shirt."

"a barcelona shirt."

"that's... somehow worse."

"i'll shout..." you took the deepest breath you could manage. "COME ON MUMMY!"

the shout echoed around the hallway so loudly it probably reached the neighbours that leah actually flinched.

leah rubbed a hand over her face before looking back at you who was standing in front of her with all the determination of someone three times her size.

"...thank you for the demonstration," leah said dryly.

you folded your arms across your little barcelona shirt and lifted your chin triumphantly. "see?" you declared. "i told you i can shout really loud."

"i heard you," leah replied, trying not to laugh despite herself.

"so mummy will hear me too." there was absolutely no flaw in your logic, at least not in your own mind.

leah pinched the bridge of her nose. the two of you had been having the same conversation for the better part of half an hour.

england shirt? "no."

arsenal shirt. "no."

anything that didn't have alexia putellas' name on the back was apparently a "definite no." in your eyes

every suggestion had been met with the exact same answer, so with no ideas left...

leah reached for her phone. if anyone was going to convince you...it would be alessia. leah opened their messages and quickly typed.

le | we have a situation.

the typing bubble appeared almost instantly.

less | ??

leah glanced over at you, who immediately posed the second you realised a photo was being taken.

you planted your feet proudly on the third step up from the bottom, backpack already on. barcelona shirt neatly tucked into your shorts. alexia's name stretched proudly across the back.

then, just to make absolutely sure alessia understood how pleased you were with yourself. you gave the camera two enthusiastic thumbs up and the biggest grin imaginable.

leah sighed dramatically before sending the photo. three little dots appeared almost immediately. another message popped up.

less | 😂😂😂

a second later...

less | that's the one gio bought her

leah slowly lowered her phone and looked back at you. the shirt. the suspiciously smug smile and the complete lack of guilt.

"...of course he did," she muttered to herself.

leah typed another message.

le | THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

the reply came before she'd even locked her phone.

less | little bit funny.

leah rolled her eyes so hard they practically reached the ceiling.

leah | she has refused for THIRTY MINUTES.

another typing bubble.

less | gotta pick your battles sometimes babe 😂

leah stared at the message in complete disbelief.

le | you're unbelievable.

the was a pause this time before another reply appeared.

less | she's still coming to support englnad.

less | just... in a very lovie way.

leah looked over at the little girl again.

you were quietly spinning in circles now, making the barcelona shirt flare out around you as though you'd already won the argument.

which, judging by alessia's response... you probably had.

leah sighed cause as frustrating as it was...alessia wasn't entirely wrong. you weren't refusing to support england.

you were just insisting on doing it while proudly wearing the shirt of the footballer you adored most in the world.

another message appeared.

less | tell her i love her.

leah smiled despite herself, of course that was alessia's priority.

she typed one final reply.

le | she'll use that against me.

less | yeah probably 😂

leah laughed quietly under her breath before slipping her phone back into her pocket then she turned around.

you were already standing by the front door, bouncing impatiently on the balls of your feet. the second leah looked at you, those bright eyes widened hopefully. "mummy says she loves me?"

"...yes."

your smile grew even wider. "and she didn't say i have to change my shirt?"

leah hesitated, only for the tiniest fraction of a second. just enough for the guilt to settle in. "...no."

you gasped dramatically before throwing both fists into the air. "i win!"

you celebrated as though you'd just scored the winning goal at wembley, bouncing twice on the spot before rushing over and grabbing leah's hand.

"come on!" you said excitedly, already tugging her towards the front door. "we don't want to miss mummy!" leah allowed herself to be pulled along, laughing softly as she followed.

halfway down the hallway she glanced at the little barcelona shirt beside her. at the bright navy and garnet stripes. at PUTELLAS 11 stretched proudly across the back. then at the tiny hand wrapped so trustingly around her own. her heart softened despite every ounce of exasperation she'd felt over the last thirty minutes.

she let out the long, weary sigh of someone who had accepted defeat long before the final whistle. "i hope your mother appreciates how many grey hairs you've just given me."

you immediately looked up at her, studying leah's hair with complete seriousness. and after several seconds of careful inspection you shook your head. "you don't have grey hairs."

leah smiled. "...i will by kick-off."

you burst into a fit of giggles that echoed through the hallway then you tilted your head. "i still look pretty though?"

leah's entire expression melted. she crouched just enough to press a gentle kiss against the top of your head before smoothing down one of the little curls that had escaped your ponytail.

"you do." her smile grew. "you also happen to be the most stubborn child in england."

you beamed proudly, taking that as the highest compliment imaginable. "i get it from mummy."

leah laughed properly this time, she couldn't even deny it.

"...unfortunately," she said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as you both stepped outside together, "you really, really do."

⸻

the atmosphere at wembley swallowed up almost everything else.

flags, songs, england shirts everywhere. except... one very small barcelona shirt.

several staff members smiled as you walked past hand in hand with leah

one laughed. "brave choice today."

you nodded confidently. "i know."

leah muttered under her breath. "tell me about it." as you took your seats not far from the england dugout

england won and as the final whistle blew the stadium erupted.

you were already bouncing on the balls of your feet, practically tugging leah's arm out of its socket every few seconds.

"mummy!" you squealed, already pointing towards the pitch even though alessia was still surrounded by teammates, staff and cameras.

leah laughed quietly, shaking her head. you bounced again, unable to stand still for more than half a second.

"can we go?" you asked, your voice high with excitement. "please mama? can we go now?"

"as soon as they let families through," leah said patiently, smoothing down a curl that had escaped your ponytail. "they'll open the barrier in a minute."

"but it's been ages." you dragged out the word in frustration.

"it hasn't." leah smiled knowingly.

"it feels like ages." you let out an exaggerated sigh, your shoulders slumping dramatically before you immediately started bouncing again.

every few seconds you stretched onto your tiptoes, trying to see over the crowd of waiting families. "can you see mummy?"

"not yet."

"what about now?"

"nope."

"now?”

leah couldn't help laughing. "no, sweetheart."

the wait felt endless. for you, every second seemed to last a whole minute. you practically vibrated with excitement, clutching your esme the elephant

the second the barrier finally open, you didn't even wait for leah to finish saying, "careful..." you were already off.

tiny trainers flying across the grass.

"slow down!" leah called after her, laughing despite herself. across the pitch, alessia turned at the sound of a familiar voice.

"lovie?"

there you were. tiny, curly hair bouncing behind you with every step. the bright barcelona shirt stood out amongst a sea of white england shirts like a beacon.

alessia couldn't stop herself laughing. of course, only her daughter would wear a barcelona shirt to an england match.

alessia opened both arms wide. "lovie!" she called, her face breaking into the biggest smile she'd worn all day.

"mummy!" you squealed back, your little legs somehow moving even faster. you launched yourself the final few steps.

alessia caught you effortlessly, lifting you straight off the ground with a soft grunt before spinning you around once.

"there she is," alessia laughed warmly, pulling you into a tight hug. "there's my girl."

you wrapped both arms around her neck so tightly it was almost impossible to breathe. "i missed you," you mumbled into alessia's shoulder.

"i missed you too," alessia replied softly, rubbing gentle circles across your back.

you leaned back just enough to beam at her. "i saw you score!" you announced proudly, your eyes impossibly bright.

alessia gasped dramatically, "you did?" she asked, widening her eyes in mock surprise.

you nodded so enthusiastically your curls bounced. "i shouted really, really loud."

"you did?"

"mhm!"

alessia tapped the end of your nose. "i heard you."

you narrowed your eyes suspiciously before dissolving into a giggle. "you didn't," you declared confidently.

"i definitely did," alessia insisted with a grin

"no you didn't."

"i've got super hearing."

"you haven't."

"i have."

"you were all the way over there," you argued, pointing towards the corner flag on the opposite side to where you'd been sitting.

"i still heard you."

"nuh-uh.”

"yep."

you laughed so hard you nearly slipped from alessia's arms "you being silly, mummy"

"i might be, just a little bit" alessia brushed a curl away from your face before finally taking a proper look at what you were wearing.

her eyes dropped to the navy and garnet shirt, she tilted her head dramatically. "...hang on," she said, pretending to sound confused as if she hadn't seen the photo of you before you'd left the house with leah. "where's your england shirt?"

you blinked then looked down at yourself as though you'd genuinely forgotten what you'd put on that morning. "oh."

you shrugged one shoulder without a hint of guilt. "i wanted alexia."

alessia pressed her lips together, trying very hard not to laugh. "i can see that," she chuckled.

you searched her face carefully. "you don't mind?" you asked quietly.

alessia's expression softened immediately as she shook her head. "no, baby,," she said gently. "i don't mind."

"really?"

"really."

you smiled with obvious relief. "you still know i wanted england to win," you explained earnestly.

"i know," alessia replied, nodding.

"and i cheered when you scored."

"i know you did."

"i shouted, 'go mummy!'"

"you did."

"and..." you hesitated for a second before admitting with complete honesty, "...i shouted for alexia too."

alessia laughed again, unable to help herself. "i figured that might've happened."

"i like both of you." you admitted as alessia nodded she knew this, "but you're my favourite.”

alessia raised an eyebrow playfully. "...by a lot?"

you leaned in conspiratorially. "by this much," you whispered, holding your fingers barely an inch apart.

alessia laughed loudly. "only that much?"

you burst into giggles. "no." and you threw both arms as wide as they would go. "THIS much."

"that's better," alessia said, pulling you into another hug and kissing the top of your head.

a little later and you had somehow vanished. alessia frowned, immediately scanning the pitch.

"where's..."

"there!" leah laughed, pointing towards the opposite side of the grass.

ella was sprinting away with exaggerated panic plastered across her face. "no!" ella cried dramatically, glancing over her shoulder. "she's too fast!"

behind her, you chased after her with determined little legs. "i'm gonna get you!" you squealed between giggles.

"you'll never catch me!" ella called, deliberately slowing down just enough for you to think you were gaining.

"i will!"

"no chance!"

"I'M REALLY FAST!"

"you are!" ella laughed. "that's the problem!"

a second later ella pretended to trip over absolutely nothing.

"oh no!" she stumbled dramatically before collapsing onto the grass with an exaggerated groan. "i've been caught!"

you launched herself onto ella's back, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"i win!" you declared triumphantly, throwing your arms in the air.

"you always win, kiddo" ella sighed theatrically, throwing one arm over her eyes. "i never stood a chance."

"you didn't," you agreed very seriously.

leah and alessia smiled as they watched the pair rolling around on the grass as alessia slipped an arm around leah's waist, "you look tired."

"i argued with a five year old for thirty seven minutes," leah said with a dramatic sigh, folding her arms across her chest.

alessia glanced over at her, a smile already tugging at her lips. "only thirty-seven?" she teased. "i'm impressed."

leah let out a quiet laugh and shook her head. "thirty-nine if we're being precise," she corrected.

alessia laughed, the sound bright and unrestrained. "you could've just let her," she pointed out, bumping leah's shoulder lightly.

"i know," leah admitted with an exaggerated groan. she looked across the pitch to where you were currently chasing ella around with determined little legs before turning back to alessia.

"but it's england!" she exclaimed, throwing one hand into the air.

"i know," alessia replied, still smiling.

"and she's wearing spain's captain on her back," leah continued in disbelief.

alessia chuckled, trying not to laugh too hard at how genuinely offended leah still sounded. "it's barcelona," alessia corrected gently.

leah gave her an unimpressed look. "it's practically the same thing today," she argued.

alessia couldn't help herself. she stepped closer and pressed a soft kiss to leah's cheek. "thank you," she murmured.

leah blinked, her teasing expression immediately melting into something much softer. "for what?" she asked quietly.

alessia glanced over to where you were now triumphantly declaring yourself the winner of yet another game you'd definitely been allowed to win.

"for looking after her," alessia said, her voice warm with gratitude. "for putting up with thirty-nine minutes of negotiations over a football shirt... and everything else while I've been away."

leah smiled, reaching for alessia's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "always" she replied without an ounce of hesitation.

the final whistles of conversations echoed around the pitch as staff began gently ushering players towards the tunnel.

"come on, girls!" someone from england's staff called. "inside, please!"

one by one, players started saying their goodbyes to family members.

ella dramatically complained that she'd "definitely pulled a hamstring" after losing six games of tag to a five-year-old before jogging away, making you giggle as you waved your auntie ella goodbye.

leah reached for your hand. "come on, angel. mummy has to head in, we'll see her afterwards"

you nodded, though your eyes wandered around the pitch one last time, trying to soak everything in.

then you stopped. "...mama." leah followed her gaze.

a small group of spanish players were making their way towards the same tunnel from the opposite side of the pitch, chatting amongst themselves and signing the odd shirt and taking a few photos with fans.

one of them looked up, mariona. the arsenal forward paused mid-conversation her eyes immediately landed on the tiny barcelona shirt.

a grin spread across her face. she nudged the player walking beside her, saying something quietly in spanish. laia looked over too before laughing softly.

mariona gave the group a quick wave to say she'd catch them up before changing direction completely. instead of heading for the tunnel...

she walked straight towards them.

"lovie," alessia laughed quietly beside leah. "i think you've been spotted."

your eyes widened. "super mario!"

you let go of leah's hand and hurried over, stopping just in front of the arsenal teammate you'd seen dozens of times at your mummy's training.

mariona's smile softened immediately, she crouched down so she was eye level with you, "hola, pequeña," she greeted warmly.

you gave a shy little wave. "...hiya."

"its good to see you again," mariona said, her english carrying its familiar spanish accent.

you nodded. "you too.”

mariona's eyes drifted down to the shirt as she laughed quietly. "i had a feeling you'd be wearing barcelona."

you looked down proudly, smoothing a hand over the front. "my uncle gio got it for me," you explained. "when he was in spain"

"its beautiful," mariona told you sincerely.

you beamed. "i love barca."

"i can tell," mariona replied with a grin.

laia had wandered over by now, folding her arms as she smiled at the little girl. "even today?" she asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

you nodded without a second's hesitation. "i wanted england to win," you said earnestly. both spanish's players smiled.

"nut..." you continued, glancing down at the shirt again with obvious pride, "...i also like alexia."

mariona laughed, exchanging an amused look with laia. "i think someone would quite like to hear that."

you frowned in confusion. "...what?"

mariona held out her hand with an encouraging smile. "venir."

you instinctively looked back over your shoulder towards your mummy and mama, "can i?"

alessia smiled immediately. "go on."

leah chuckled, giving you a gentle nudge forward. "just don't forget who feeds you, yeah!"

"i won't!" you promised quickly before slipping your tiny hand into mariona's.

mariona smiled to herself as she led you towards the tunnel where the remaining spanish players were waiting and across the pitch the a few players drifting between groups of supporters.

they were signing shirts, posing for photos, stopping for small conversations that were never quite as quick as security wanted them to be.

meat the advertising boards, alexia was doing exactly that. a barcelona shirt then a spain one, a programme and then another shirt.

she thanked each supporter with a smile, chatting in spanish before moving onto the next person. then she looked up.

mariona was walking towards her and beside her a tiny little girl with bouncy curls and a barcelona shirt that looked just a touch too big.

alexia’s eyes immediately landed on the back of it.

PUTELLAS. 11.

her own name and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “hola.”

you stopped, instantly. every ounce of confidence you’d somehow found talking to mariona and laia completely disappeared.

you simply stared, wide-eyed. mouth slightly open.

mariona chuckled quietly beside you. “i think you’ve made someone very nervous.”

your trainers stayed rooted to the grass, mariona gave your shoulder the gentlest little nudge. “it’s okay.”

alexia laughed softly, already lowering herself into a crouch so she wasn’t towering over the little girl. “hola.” her voice was gentle as she waved slightly, patient and warm, “you don’t have to be scared.”

you swallowed, you couldn’t quite believe the alexia putellas was in front of you, “…hi.”

alexia glanced back at mariona with an amused smile “you’ve found a Barcelona supporter at wembley?”

mariona grinned. “not just any supporter.” she rested a hand lightly against your shoulder. “this little one has spent all afternoon proudly wearing your shirt.”

alexia looked back at you. “you wore my shirt?” a tiny nod came from you,

“you came to watch england…” another nod. “…and you still chose barcelona?”

you finally found enough courage to speak, very quietly. “so everyone knew.”

alexia tilted her head. “knew what?”

“…that you’re my favourite.” it was barely above a whisper. the kind of confession only someone standing inches away could hear.

for a second, alexia’s smile softened into something almost emotional. “well…” she placed a hand gently against her own chest. “thank you.”

she glanced back at mariona again, curiosity dancing across her face. “whose little girl is she?”

mariona smiled knowingly. “you haven’t recognised her?”

alexia looked between them once more then shook her head with a small laugh. “no…”

mariona nodded towards the england players still scattered across the pitch. “she’s baby russo.”

alexia blinked. “…russo?”

“alessia’s daughter.”

recognition immediately washed over her face as her eyebrows lifted. “no…”

mariona laughed. “si.”

alexia looked back at you in complete disbelief before glancing across the pitch. and sure enough standing a little further away: alessia and leah were both watching.

alessia had one hand over her mouth, already smiling before anything had even happened. leah folded her arms with a grin.

as alexia looked back to you. “so…” a playful smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “your mummy plays against me…”

you nodded. “…but today you wore my shirt.” another tiny nod as alexia laughed. “i think that’s very brave.”

nearby, laia had spotted the entire exchange unfolding and saying a word she pulled her phone from her pocket, “this needs recording,” she muttered with a smile.

the camera quietly captured everything.

alexia turned her full attention back to you. “so…”

“how old are you?”

“five .”

“five?”

you nodded. “i turned five.”

alexia smiled. “a big age.” she pointed gently towards the football still tucked under one of the advertising boards. “do you play football?”

“a little bit.” you nodded as mariona spoke for you saying you were football mad.

“a defender?”

you immediately looked horrified. “no.”

alexia laughed. “no?”

“i like passing.” you told alexia imitating one of your passing moves that you had learnt.

mariona snorted, “already a midfielder.”

alexia nodded approvingly. “a very important job.” she looked down at the barcelona shirt again. “and who bought you this?”

“my uncle gio.” you grinned proudly, “he knows barcelona is one of my favourite.”

“and he chose very well.” alexia nodded approvingly as you smiled shyly at the compliment. every answer came in tiny sentences, barely louder than a whisper.

nothing like the confident little chatterbox who had spent the afternoon proudly explaining to anyone who would listen why you couldn’t possibly wear an england shirt because “mummy already wears england.”

alexia found it endlessly adorable. another another minute of chatting and she reached into the pocket of a staff member standing nearby and borrowed a marker.

then she held it up. “may i sign your shirt for you?”

your eyes became enormous. “the… the shirt?”

alexia nodded with a smile “if that’s okay with you.”

for a second you simply stared as though you couldn’t quite believe you’d heard correctly then your entire face lit up. “yes please!”

alexia carefully turned the fabric so it stayed flat. slowly and neatly she signed her name beneath the number eleven. making sure not to smudge the ink before handing the pen back.

“there.”

you immediately looked down you reached out with one tiny finger and very carefully touched the fresh signature then looked back up.

your eyes were sparkling. “…thank you.”

“it was lovely meeting you, y/n.” alexia smiled before gently ruffling your curls. “i hope you keep enjoying football.”

“i will.”

“and maybe…” alexia winked. “…one day i’ll see you playing.”

you looked as though you’d stopped breathing altogether. “i’ll try.”

mariona smiled. “i think someone will remember today forever.”

“i think so too,” alexia replied warmly as she waved goodbye, a media officer ushering her away.

mariona held out her hand. “come on, pequeña.”

you slipped your tiny hand into mariona’s as you started walking back and laia’s phone was still recording and caught the exact second you spotted alessia standing not too far in the tunnel.

“mummy!”

you broke into a run. alessia barely had time to open her arms before the little girl launched herself forwards.

“oof!” she laughed, catching you effortlessly. “you met her!”

“I MET HER!” you squealed, practically bouncing in alessia’s arms.

alessia laughed, unable to stop smiling. “i know!”

“she talked to me!” you continued breathlessly, your words tumbling over one another in your excitement.

“i know she did,” alessia replied warmly, smoothing a curl back from your forehead.

“she knew my name!”

alessia’s eyes widened in exaggerated surprise as she gasped dramatically. “did she?”

you nodded so enthusiastically your curls bounced. “yeah! mariona told her i was little russo, and then she said, ‘it was lovely meeting you, y/n!’”

alessia couldn’t help laughing. “well… she was right.it was lovely meeting you.”

“and she touched my shirt!” you added, looking down at the signed barcelona top as though it had suddenly become the most precious thing in the world.

alessia grinned, glancing at the signature beneath the number eleven. “i noticed.”

“and she said uncle gio picked a good one!”

alessia smiled fondly, already imagining giorgio’s reaction when he heard the story. “i’m sure he’ll be very pleased to hear that.”

you hugged the front of your shirt protectively before looking back up at your mum, still beaming from ear to ear. “he’ll never believe me.”

“and…” you leaned in close, lowering her voice as though sharing the world’s biggest secret. “…she signed it.”

alessia looked down at the shirt, there it was. alexia putellas’ unmistakable signature beneath the eleven.

she couldn’t stop laughing. actual tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “i think…” she kissed the top of your curls. “…she liked you.”

you looked down at the signature one more time carefully smoothing the shirt with both hands then you looked back at her mum.

your voice was barely a whisper. “i think…” a tiny smile spread across your face. “…this is the best day ever.”

⸻

for the next three weeks, everyone suffered. every conversation somehow found its way back to alexia.

one morning over breakfast, you took a bite of your toast before announcing very matter-of-factly, “did you know alexia said my shirt was beautiful?”

alessia didn’t even look up from making coffee, used to this now. “yes” she replied with an amused smile.

a few hours later, as leah walked past the living room, “mama,” you called after her, “did you know alexia signed it?”

leah paused dramatically and rested a hand against her forehead. “only because you’ve told me fourteen times today.”

you frowned thoughtfully before holding up one finger. “it was fifteen,” you corrected proudly.

leah looked towards alessia. “…we’re raising a statistician.”

at breakfast the next day, you poked at your pancakes before looking up. “i think alexia likes pancakes probably.”

alessia smiled over the rim of her mug. “probably.”

leah snorted into her tea. “what makes you think that?”

you shrugged. “because everyone likes pancakes.”

“…can’t argue with that logic,” leah admitted.

in the car on the way to training, you gazed out of the window for a few moments before wondering aloud, “i wonder what Alexia’s favourite colour is.”

from the driver’s seat, alessia laughed. “i’ve absolutely no idea, baby.”

“you should ask her.”

leah burst out laughing from the passenger seat. “oh, just send her a quick text, less. ‘morning, by the way, what’s your favourite colour?’”

alessia shook her head, laughing. “i don’t think that’s happening.”

that evening, after stories had been read and the bedroom lights were dimmed, you hugged esme the elephant tightly.

“mummy?”

“mh?” alessia hummed, tucking the duvet around you.

“do you think alexia remembers me?”

alessia’s expression softened instantly. she brushed a curl away from your face. “i think she probably does.”

“you do?”

“i do.”

you smiled to herself. “good.”

even facetiming nonno and nonna became impossible. the second mario answered, “hi, tesoro!” he greeted with a grin.

“look!” you exclaimed, already scrambling to hold the barcelona shirt up to the camera.

mario chuckled patiently. “i’ve seen it, tesoro.”

“but have you seen the signature today?” you asked very seriously, tilting the shirt to make sure he had the perfect view.

carol laughed from somewhere behind him. “i don’t think signatures move, sweetheart.”

“they don’t,” you agreed with complete confidence. “…but it’s still nice to look at.”

eventually, leah found alessia laughing in the kitchen one evening while you carefully folded the signed shirt for the night.

"this," leah said, leaning against the counter, "is your fault."

"my fault?" alessia gasped with such dramatic effect as she was still trying to compose herself.

"you laughed instead of backing me up." leah pointed out with a smirk as she nicked one of alessia’s biscuits

"i did." alessia agreed quietly.

"and now our daughter thinks she's best friends with alexia putellas."

from the living room, you called proudly, "i am!"

leah closed her eyes. "there it is." alessia couldn't help herself. she laughed, wrapping an arm around leah before looking towards the living room where you were already telling esme the elephant, in great detail, exactly how alexia had smiled at her.

"you know," alessia said with a grin, "it could be worse."

leah raised an eyebrow, alessia smiled. "at least she still wanted england to win."

leah considered it. "...i’ll allow it."

from the living room came one final announcement. "when i grow up..." a dramatic pause. "...i’m going to play with mummy." another pause. "...and then with alexia.”

"i’m in the kitchen, tesoro" mario called back.

you dropped your school bag in the hallway and followed the sound of rustling paper. the moment you stepped into the kitchen, you stopped dead.

the table had disappeared beneath a sea of memories.

photo albums were stacked in uneven towers. england caps sat beside old arsenal shirts. medals glinted under the overhead lights.

a pair of pink worn football boots rested carefully on a towel as though they belonged in a museum. the kitchen counter was lined with framed photographs, ticket stubs, accreditation passes, and newspaper clippings.

"woah." you gasped as you slowly walked into the room. “what are you doing nonno?”

granted you'd seen some of this stuff growing up but most of it was just passing memories and some were new and things you'd never seen.

mario looked up from a cardboard box, glasses perched low on his nose with a warm smile. "your mum needs some of this for that 'legends of the game' thing she's doing. apparently they've asked for stuff from childhood to retirement."

you walked slowly toward the table, eyes wide. "this is all mum's?"

"every bit of it." mario said looked back down at a newspaper article which no doubt had your mums name in big block writing and you could tell just from that, that your nonno wasn't just 'sorting though' it all, he was reminiscing on the past.

you picked up the nearest photo album. on the front, written in carol's neat handwriting, were the words alessia: 0–5 years. inside was a chubby-cheeked baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

"that's mum?" you laughed, holding the album up and pointing to the photo.

"believe it or not." mario chuckled as you looked at the photo, turning the page to see a one with her brothers, gio and luca - the two looking nothing like they did now but still with the same cheeky smiles.

"she looks nothing like she does now." your brows furrowed as you took in the photos which your mum has failed to ever show you except maybe from the odd one.

"she had more cheeks than face back then," mario said solemnly as he showed you a few more, which alessia definitely wouldn't thank him for showing you.

you snorted. "i'm telling her you said that."

"i survived raising her. i'll survive that." your nonno shrugged off casually as you grinned and carried on turning the page.

more photos followed: toddler alessia kicking a ball in the garden alongside her brothers; alessia missing her front teeth with a cheesy grin; alessia covered in mud after a junior tournament but still donning a sweet smile.

"mum was always this obsessed with football?" you asked as you clocked that almost every photo of not all of them has some sort of football in it.

"always," mario said. "sometimes i think she learned to kick before she learned to talk."

you giggled then reached for another album and froze as you flipped the page. "no way."

a teenage alessia stood in an england youth camp photo beside an equally young ella toone. both of them had awkward ponytails and oversized tracksuits.

"mum looks completely different!"

mario leaned over to have a peek at which photo you were looking at. "that was one of her first england youth camps."

"and auntie ella looks about twelve." you giggled to yourself, taking in the photos which to you looked so strange seeing them so small, you of course only knowing the older versions.

"they would have been maybe that, maybe 13. but they thought they were very grown up." mario smiled remembering the moment almost as if it were yesterday.

you laughed so hard you nearly knocked over a stack of programmes. "i'm showing mum and auntie ella this!"

"i don't think they'll thank you for it."

you kept flipping through the photographs, each one revealing another version of your mother you'd never known. young england player. unc player and young academy star.

then your eyes landed on a photograph that made you pause.

alessia and leah stood side by side outside a stadium. they were younger, both in tracksuits, both laughing at something out of frame.

"wait," you said. "they're not together here, are they?"

mario shook his head. "no. that was years before."

"seriously?" you asked, the closeness of the two of them looked more than friendly but maybe that's because all you remember is the two being more than friends.

"yeah, they were just friends then." mario confirmed looking at the date in the corner as he folded an old shirt to put to one side.

you stared at the picture again, "that's weird."

"why?"

"because it looks like they're already looking at each other like they're together." you said simply as you shrugged.

mario's smile softened. "maybe a little, your mum's always been a bit oblivious when it comes to things like that"

you studied the photo for another second before carefully setting it aside. next came the medals. "can i hold one?" you asked.

"carefully." mario said seriously as he placed a champions league medal in her palm.

it was heavier than you expected or remembered, "is the one from lisbon?"

"the very one, you were a little terror after that getting everyone to call you champion for months afterwards" mario chuckled as you groaned in slight embarrassment at your younger self.

"mum still talks about that match." you said quietly looking at all the dints in the medal, remembering parts of the day but not much.

"she cried afterwards," mario said, as your brow raised in surprise, you don't think your mum let you see that side of her on the pitch. "your mother cried quite a lot over football, actually."

"i thought she was all composed and professional." you quoted, the words of wisdom your mum would give you before big games so you didn't do anything silly.

mario burst out laughing. "oh absolutely not, showed she cared though"

he reached for another item: an old arsenal shirt with grass stains that had never fully come out. "this one was from a derby match," he said. "she came home with a split lip and insisted she was fine."

"was she?" you asked, not remembering the moment.

"no. but she didn't want anyone to know." mario retold the story, adding a date and time to the story as you nodded along, intrigued at your mum's past.

you traced the faded badge with your fingertips, a badge you'd worn well over a 100 times. "its strange," you admitted quietly.

"what is?"

"at school everyone talks about her like she's this... legend. like she's a statue or something." mario nodded along as you spoke "but all these photos..." you gestured to the table. "she looks normal."

"that's because she was," he said gently. "she was a little girl who loved football, then a teenager who worked very hard, then a woman who happened to become very good at what she did."

you looked down at a picture of a young alessia holding a newborn baby wrapped in a pink blanket. you. "sure she was and still is a world class legend but to me she's always been mum"

mario smiled. "yes. the day you arrived she always said that being your mum beat anything that a footballer could win" you felt your cheeks warm at your nonno's words.

you picked up the photograph carefully. alessia looked exhausted, hair a mess, eyes puffy, but she was staring down at baby you with an expression so full of wonder that it almost made your chest ache. "i've never seen this one before."

"your mum kept it in a separate box," mario said. "said it was her favourite picture."

"what's in that album?" you asked, pointing to a one which unlike the other albums didn't have carol's neat handwriting on the front.

mario's expression softened a little as he reached for the smaller book tucked beneath the pile. "this one's different," he said. "it's filled with baby photos. of you and your mum."

you sat up straighter immediately. "let me see."

mario handed it over. the first page held a picture of alessia, barely in her twenties, sitting on the sofa with a tiny you asleep against her chest. alessia looked exhausted, her hair tied in a messy bun, but she was smiling down at the baby like nothing else in the world existed.

your laughter disappeared for a second. "mum looks so young."

"she was," mario said quietly as he nodded. "you were only a few months old there."

you turned the page, again. another photo showed you maybe one and a half in a ridiculously oversized manchester united shirt, standing beside alessia's boots with one hand gripping her mum's leg.

"why was i wearing a shirt that big?" you giggled looking at it, you didn't remember much from if anything from your mum's days at united but from what you hear from her and auntie ella they sounded pretty fun.

"because you refused to take it off," mario said. "your mum tried three different outfits that day." you snorted, that sounded like you.

the next photo made her burst out laughing. little you sitting in a laundry basket wearing one of alessia's england socks like a hat while alessia crouched beside her, clearly trying and failing to look stern.

"nonno!" you wheezed. "why am i wearing mum’s sock?"

mario adjusted his glasses, already laughing. "because your mother left the room for thirty seconds and came back to find you like that."

"and she took a photo instead of stopping me?"

"that..," mario said proudly, "is when we knew you were definitely a russo."

you kept laughing as you turned another page, but this time you lingered on the picture a little longer, looking at the younger version of her mum beside the tiny version of herself. "she really kept all of these?"

"every single one," mario said. "your mother pretends she's organised. in reality she's just very sentimental."

you smiled at the photo before carefully turning the page again. "don't tell her i said this," you murmured, "but i think this one's my favourite."

by the time carol arrived home, she found the kitchen exactly as she'd left it except now you were surrounded by photo albums, clutching an old england cap while mario told an exaggerated story about alessia nearly missing a youth-team bus because she'd stopped to buy snacks.

"i leave you two alone for an hour and you've turned my table into a museum," carol said, a warm smile appearing as she placed shopping bags on what space she could find on the kitchen counter.

"but a very educational museum," you replied, head spinning back to look at the photo album.

carol smiled at the sight of her granddaughter surrounded by albums. "finding out your mother wasn't born famous?"

you looked around the room: the baby photos, the awkward teenage camps, the england caps, the arsenal shirts, the medals, the picture of her parents before they were together, the hospital photo from the day you were born.

"yeah," you said softly. "i think i'm finding out she had a whole life before i was old enough to remember it."

“and now” mario said as he closed one of the albums and slid it gently toward you, "you're a huge part of the story too."

you looked down at the final page. a recent family photo, from a tournament you played in and won player of the tournament. alessia and leah standing behind you pulling funny faces, both laughing as you rolled your eyes at the camera.

you smiled, the medals and trophies suddenly felt a little less important because spread across the kitchen table wasn't just the career of a football legend.

sarina was talking tactics, but her mind kept drifting to you, your whirlwind energy currently under the dubious supervision of niamh charles and aggie beever-jones.

alessia had left you and the two chelsea players in the lounge fully equipped with snacks, crayons, and what alessia had thought were simple instructions: no sugar, no chaos, and please no teaching you any new chants that would be used to wake her up on her days off.

leah caught alessia fidgeting from across the table, giving her that soft, knowing smile. "she'll be fine, less. it's aggie and niamh, their both sensible not the bloody joker and harley quinn."

alessia raised an eyebrow going her girlfriend a pointed look. "you've clearly never seen them together for longer than ten minutes."

leah chuckled quietly, reaching over to squeeze alessia's hand beneath the table. "they adore her. what is the worst that could happen?"

the answer to leah's question arrived an hour later.

as soon as alessia stepped out of the meeting room, the sound of your little laughter was echoing down the hallway. the sharp, melodic giggle that made everyone nearby grin instinctively. relief started to flood alessia for a second.. until she saw you.

you were running to your mummy, arms open, your little curls bouncing as your cheeks were flushed with delight and now dressed head to toe in blue and not the light pink tracksuit alessia had dressed you in this morning.

"mummy, look!" you squealed, sliding slightly to stop yourself as you twirled in the slightly oversized shirt. "aggie and niamh got me a new blue football kit!"

alessia blinked. once, then again, twice. then her eyes dropped to the small crest on the chest of the shirt.

the unmistakable lion and badge. it wasn't just any blue. it was chelsea blue.

"oh my god-" her voice came out as a whisper. "you didn't" alessia turned slowly, eyes wide to where niamh and aggie both stood clearly trying and failing not to burst out laughing.

"we was playing dress up, she wanted to be the blue team" niamh said quickly, hands up in mock surrender.

as aggie chimed in, "we've been in need for a little mascot, and niamh's had this kit for ages, so we just.."

"you just what, took advantage of the fact the she can't read properly?" alessia said, eyes wide. "you've actually put my child in chelsea gear?"

your grin only grew wider. "mummy, aggie say it's local team! i blue team now!"

that did it. the words blue team felt like a dagger to the heart of every arsenal fan within earshot even if you had been told a white lie of the team it was, as if you'd known you would have down right refused.

but before alessia could even process the absurdity of it, another voice sharp, clipped, and unmistakably protective cut through the corridor like a dagger

"take that off her. now."

leah.

her water bottle clinked as it hit against her phone like thunder as she marched toward them, expression unreadable except for the dangerous flicker in her eyes that said someone (probably two someones) were about to be in serious trouble.

"le," alessia began gently, trying to sound calm, "it's fine, it's just harmless—"

but leah was already crouched in front of you, her jaw tightening as she stared down the badge on your chest.

"angel," leah said, voice low but stern, "where did you get this?"

you pointed helpfully. "ags! niamh! they say blue team is good!"

"that blue team is chelsea," leah said, eyes flicking upward to the guilty duo. "and chelsea is not good, cause we arsenal"

aggie snorted under her breath. "depends who you ask."

leah's glare could've frozen lava. your little face scrunched in confusion. "not good? blue pretty!”

leah exhaled, softening instantly at your innocent tone. leah brushed a curl from your forehead, her hand gentling. "blue is pretty, darling. but not that blue. that blue means chelsea. and because we're arsenal, we don't wear chelsea.”

you gasped dramatically, clapping your hands over your mouth as it started to click, your eyes glancing at the familiar badge now. "oh no. mummy, i wear bad blue?"

alessia bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to laugh. "it's okay, baby. you didn't know, a certain duo have been telling you fibs."

"but—now mama angry?" you whispered, glancing at leah nervously.

leah sighed, her expression cracking into a reluctant smile. "no, i’m not angry with you, angel. angry with them." she nodded toward aggie and niamh.

"hey! we were just having a laugh!" niamh protested. "didn't think she'd—"

"didn’t think she'd what?" leah snapped lightly. "parade through camp in chelsea colours?"

"she looked happy!" aggie offered. "less said to make sure she’s happy!"

"happy is arsenal red," leah shot back without missing a beat.

that finally broke alessia, who let out a snort of laughter she couldn't contain. leah’s eyes narrowed at her. "don’t you start, less. you of all people..”

"le," alessia managed between giggles, "you're acting like she joined the club."

"she might as well have!" leah said indignantly, still clutching the offending shirt like it was evidence of treason.

—

later that night, after everyone had bantered leah over the millions of photos aggie and niamh had took of you in the chelsea shirt. it was now just the three of them in their room, own little bubble.

alessia was brushing your hair while leah sat cross-legged on the bed, still muttering under her breath about "corrupting influences" and "bad colour choices."

"mama?" you said sleepily, peering up at her. "you forgive me for blue?"

leah’s features softened completely. she reached out and pulled you into her lap, pressing a kiss into your hair. "there’s nothing to forgive, angel. you didn't know. it was just... a silly joke."

you nodded, cuddling in. "i love red best. i arsenal girl foreva’”

alessia smiled from across the room, watching leah melt under the weight of those sleepy curls and earnest words.

when you finally drifted off, tucked in with your esme and little gunnersaurus teddy, alessia climbed into bed beside leah, who was still staring at the discarded chelsea shirt lying in the corner thinking of a way to get rid of it.

"you know," alessia teased quietly, "you might be the only person in camp who took this personally."

leah shot her a sideways glance. "she’s our little gunner, lessi. she wears red. end of."

alessia laughed softly, leaning her head on leah’s shoulder. "god help us when you see her baby photos of her in manchester red then..”

alessia was leaning against the railing, sunglasses perched on her nose, hair damp from the salty breeze as the sun shone on her toned legs. behind her, leah was stretching out on a sunbed, one arm casually thrown over her face, the other scrolling lazily on her phone.

but the real energy came from the smallest member of the family.

"mummy! mama! look at the splashes!" you squealed, your curls lightened from the sun as you bounced as you looked over the side of the boat.

safely secured in your bright pink life jacket covered in cartoon turtles that you had chosen from the small shop around the corner from the villa you were staying in.

you slapped your tiny hands against the railing with excitement as the boat slowed, bobbing gently now that they'd reached a swim spot.

alessia smiled, heart full. after the chaos of the euros; the training, the tension, the time apart, the matches that felt like they lasted a lifetime.

this was what she'd craved after a busy summer filled with winning: now was time for sun, sea, and her girls.

"careful, lovie," alessia said, coming to kneel beside her daughter and smoothing a curl out of your face. "don't lean too far, yeah? you'll give mummy a heart attack."

"i not leaning," you replied in that cheeky voice that always makes leah snort slightly. "i just lookin'! it's sooo blue!" your eyes were wide, almost hypnotized by the way the sun sparkled on the water.

leah sat up then, tossing her phone aside and padding over barefoot. she crouched next to them, resting a steady hand on your life jacket strap as if to silently assure both herself and alessia. "pretty cool, isn't it, angel?" leah said softly. "wait till you're in it then it's even better."

well that was the plan, after all. the skipper had told them it was one of the clearest swimming spots around, perfect for a little dip. alessia was already picturing herself floating on her back, tension draining out of her muscles.

"ready to swim?" alessia asked, voice all lightness and hope as she tugged gently at the zip of your jacket.

but the excitement dimmed in your eyes. you glanced at the open water, then back at your mums. "it...big," you whispered, chewing your lip as if contemplating your options. "too big."

alessia exchanged a glance with leah, the kind that carried entire conversations in a second. the two crouch lower, so they were eye-level with you

"it is big," leah said first, voice calm and low like she always gets when she is coaxing you through something. "but that's why we've got this," she tapped the front of your life jacket with two fingers, "and why you've got us. we’re not going anywhere."

"you think i’d let you go for a swim without me?" your mummy teased, bumping her shoulder gently against yours. "not a chance, cheeky monkey."

you still looked doubtful, your tiny fingers gripping your mummy’s bikini strap like an anchor. "but what if i sink?"

"you won't," alessia promised, pulling you a little closer and kissing the top of your head. "not with this magic jacket on. and guess what? me and mama will hold you the whole time, okay?"

leah smiled then, brushing her knuckles against your cheek. "you trust us, yeah?"

after a long pause, you gave the smallest nod, curls bouncing. "atta girl," leah murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple.

they all moved slow, like a little ritual. alessia slid into the water first, letting out a satisfied sigh at the warmth the sun blaring at clear water.

leah followed and then they both reached up for you, who came down carefully, legs clamped around leah’s waist like a koala.

"you’re in!" alessia cheered softly, smoothing your wet curls back as you clung to leah. "look at you, brave girl."

you peeked one eye open, then the other, and finally, finally you let out a giggle as the water lapped around your toes.

"it warm!" you said, wonder blooming across your face, it not feeling like the usual inflatable pool in the back garden or like the hotel pool you’d been in.

"told you," leah whispered into your ear, squeezing you tight.

the rest was easy. you went from clinging like a limpet to splashing between them, squealing as your mummy held your hands and floated you on your back.

leah spotting from behind. the sound of your laughter bounced off the waves, carrying across the water like the happiest kind of echo.

and alessia? she stole a glance at leah in the sunlight, hair slicked back, freckles out, eyes soft as they watched the little girl between them. for a moment, it felt like something holy. the three of them, suspended in blue, hearts lighter than they'd been in months.

suddenly, you stilled, eyes widening as something brushed softly against your leg. "mummy!" you gasped, looking down at the water. "something touched me!"

alessia tensed for half a second before leah leaned close, her voice calm and coaxing. "it’s just a little fishy, lovie. they’re just saying hello."

as if on cue, a tiny silver shimmer darted past, catching the sunlight like a living jewel. then another. and another.

your jaw dropped. "there sparkly," you whispered, the awe in your voice enough to make alessia laugh quietly as you watched the school of fish beneath your feet.

"they think you're sparkly too," alessia said, smiling as she shifted her hold so you could dip her fingers beneath the surface. "feel that?"

you squealed when one brushed against your feet again, the sensation so quick and strange it made you giggle uncontrollably. "it tickled! do it again!"

"they’re fast, baby," your mummy said, grinning as more silver shapes flitted beneath them. "but they like you. told you, you were a mermaid."

you beamed, cheeks flushed with excitement, and alessia felt something warm swell in her chest. a happiness so simple and pure it almost hurt.

leah caught her eye over your curls, and in that shared look was everything: love, safety, and the quiet understanding that these were the moments they'd both live for.

you were swarmed by teammates. sweaty hugs, high-fives, chants of your name echoing from the stands. your mum and mama were up on their feet, beaming from the side of the pitch.

a few of the arsenal women's past players were clapping, laughing in celebration. even your grandparents had made the trip, wrapped in red and white scarves.

you had never felt so full. you stood just off the pitch, still buzzing, breathing hard, eyes scanning the crowd like you always did. and then-

"y/n!"

you turned. that voice. that voice. your chest skipped.

your dad. harrison.

for a second, maybe just a second, your heart lifted. he was here. for you. and maybe this time, he meant it.

but then you saw them.

a few steps behind him, hand-in-hand, were louis and lily. dressed in arsenal hoodies, like this was their day out too. and next to them their mum and his girlfriend, zoey.

the smile that had barely started to form on your face dropped, instantly. you froze.

he was smiling like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't missed three matches in a row. like he hadn't cancelled two weeks ago without texting back. like this wasn't the first time he'd shown up in months.

and he brought them. it wasn't fair.

you turned sharply, not saying a word, and walked the other way and straight off the side of the field, through the gate, into the quieter back path by the training building. your breaths were quick, hands shaking. your chest was tight and hot with anger, confusion, betrayal.

and tears hot, furious ones.

you didn't want to cry, not now, not in your kit with your name just being chanted five minutes ago but you couldn't stop yourself as you walked.

your mum, alessia stood on the side of the pitch with your mama, leah her arms folded but grinning so wide her face hurt.

"she was unreal," leah grinned, nudging alessia's side. "she's got your finish, babe."

alessia laughed. "she's got more than mine. i'd never have pulled that off at her age."

and then they both saw you out the corner of their eyes.

you just seconds ago full of light and pride, suddenly frozen still in the middle of the path, eyes locked on something in the crowd.

alessia's grin slipped instantly. "what's she looking at?"

leah squinted. "she okay?"

before they could get closer, you turned sharply on your heel and stormed off boots crunching against the gravel as you shoved past the metal barrier and headed toward the back of the training building.

"lovie!" alessia called, already jogging a few steps after you. "lovie, what happened?!"

no response, not even a glance. you just kept walking, just the telltale shaking of your shoulders as you walked faster. alessia's chest tightened. you were crying. "something is wrong," alessia turned to leah. "she was fine one second ago, then—"

leah grabbed alessia's wrist, stopping her. leah's eyes locked onto something, someone, just off to the side of the crowd.

"hang on."

alessia turned to follow her gaze. and sure enough there he was. harrison.

grinning from ear to ear, holding a coffee that probably wasn't just coffee. behind him stood louis and lily, the little ones giggling and completely unaware of the tension crackling in the air. zoey, his current girlfriend, stood with them, chatting quietly with them as she held both their hands.

leah's face fell instantly. "oh," leah muttered under her breath, voice low and sharp. "i think i know why she ran.

alessia's head snapped toward her. "what?" leah just nodded toward harrison.

alessia turned, heart plummeting the second she saw that stupid smug look plastered across his face.

he lifted his cup lazily toward them in some kind of cheers gesture. "she scored, didn't she? my girls’ got a hell of a left foot on her!" he shouted.

"is he-?" leah started.

"yep," alessia said through clenched teeth. "he's been drinking." alessia blinked, fury slowly building behind her eyes. "where does he get the fucking nerve-?"

harrison took a few steps toward them, walking like the pitch belonged to him, voice still way too loud. "told ya she got it from me. that turn, the hit- proper striker instincts. she's got my blood in her!"

alessia's fists clenched at her sides. "you didn't play foot-.. soccer in college harrison. you played football, you were quarterback. there totally different. and anyways you think showing up once every few months gives you a right to say that?"

harrison scoffed. "oh come on, lessi. you know i had the chance to go pro- didn't wanna though, had other opportunities. but can't i just be proud of my daughter without getting chewed at?"

"it's alessia to you." alessia spat, a sarcastic chuckle coming from her at his words of his 'chance' of going pro when in reality it was far from it.

leah stepped forward now, her tone cutting. "you don't get to call her your daughter when you only turn up when it's convenient. she thought you came for her today. but you brought your little fan club, just to show off."

"nah it's not like that," he slurred slightly, waving his cup. "lils and lou were excited. they love her, they know she's their big sister. thought it'd be a nice surprise."

alessia's eyes narrowed. "you thought springing them on her in front of a crowd, after she just gave everything on that pitch, would be what? cute?"

"i am trying!" he snapped, voice rising. "you lot are always on my case. at least i'm here."

leah laughed bitterly. "no, mate. you're physically here. that's not the same as showing up."

"she walked off crying, harrison," alessia finally said, voice low with pain. "you had one job today. let her have this. let her have one moment where it wasn't about you."

his face twitched slightly like he didn't understand the words coming from alessia. "she's overreacting. she needs to grow up. life's not always about her."

and that? that was the final straw.

leah took a step toward him, voice suddenly cold and lethal. "you don't get to gaslight her into thinking your failure is her selfishness."

harrison rolled his eyes. "the girl is nearly seventeen. it's not like i haven't tried."

"you've tried just enough to keep the guilt off your back," alessia said, taking a shaky breath. "and every time you do, she hopes it's different. and every time, she ends up in tears. like she is right now."

from a few feet away, zoey stepped forward finally, her voice soft but firm. "haz," zoey said taking a step forward as her hand rested on his forearm, the sound of the all too familiar nickname making the hairs on alessia's arm rise, "maybe this wasn't the right call."

harrison stared at his girlfriend, zoey. "i thought you said they should meet-“

"i did, but i said not like this," zoey said gently. "not like a performance." he scoffed again, muttering something under his breath neither of them caught.

alessia stood her ground, fists clenched, fire in her eyes. she was shaking, but it wasn't from fear or doubt. it was pure, raw, unfiltered rage. the years of frustration, disappointment, and heartbreak all coming to a head.

"you don't even see what you've done, do you?" alessia shouted at him, her voice piercing through the crowd's whispers. "you've shattered her again, harrison. all that little girl has ever wanted was one thing from you. to show up and be proud of her. and you've just shown again that you couldn't even do that."

harrison didn't flinch. instead, he laughed. too loudly, too dismissively, as if the moment didn't matter. "oh come on, alessia. give me a break. i'm here, aren't i? that's more than i ever was, right? you can't expect me to drop everything every time you call me out for her problems."

alessia's jaw tightened. "her problems? she's your daughter, harrison. you don't get to just walk in and out of her life whenever it suits you. that's not how it works. she's not some accessory to your life. she's not a mistake that you can just ignore when it's convenient for you."

"i ain't ignoring her!" he snapped, face reddening, taking a step forward. "i've tried, alright? i've tried to be there, but it's always you getting in the way."

"me?" alessia's voice rose, sharp and biting. "i've spent years protecting her from you! every time you failed her, i picked up the pieces. every single fucking time. so no, don't stand there and tell me that i'm the problem, when you can't even show up for her once in a while without making it about you."

"you're always playing the martyr, alessia!" harrison shot back, his voice full of venom now. "you act like you're the only one who's been through this! i never asked for this, you know? i didn't ask to be a dad. i didn't ask you to keep her. i didn't ask for you to show up pregnant, i wasn't ready, i was kid!

"yeah well takes two to make a baby doesn't it-" alessia's breath hitched her face twisting. "you think it was easy for me, harrison? do you honestly think i wanted to raise her on my own? you think i didn't need you? i did. but i never had you… not really."

he crossed his arms, smirking now. "well, maybe that's the way it was meant to be. maybe you didn't need me. maybe y/n's better off without me in her life. it easier for you to pretend you're the only one who's ever been there.”

alessia's face twisted with disbelief once again, not being able to believe the words which were actually leaving his lips. "i never pretended. but she has to watch you show up whenever it's convenient for you, and now you have your little family, and you think she's just going to be okay with that?"

"you don't get to turn up with your new kids and expect her to just smile and forget how you've abandoned her for years."

"you think this is my fault?" he sneered, voice dripping with sarcasm. "she's the one who's pushing me away. she doesn't even try to make it work. so, maybe she's not as perfect as you think she is, huh? maybe you've been coddling her too much."

"you have no idea what you're talking about," alessia spat, her fists trembling. "you think she doesn't try? she's been waiting for you, hoping you'd show up for years. and now you have the nerve to show up with your perfect little family, parading your new kids around like you're some big hero father of the fucking year. it's pathetic."

harrison scoffed, shaking his head as if she was the one being unreasonable. "i have my own family now. my own life. i can't keep bending over backward for a daughter who can't meet me in the middle. she has to learn how to deal with things on her own. you've got this whole little world you've built for her, and now i'm just supposed to fit in now? i never have, you've never wanted me to, less."

alessia's entire body went rigid, her eyes flashing with fury. "she's still your daughter, harrison! your flesh and blood and you don't just get to decide when it's convenient to be a dad. y/n doesn't need you for perfect moments or showing off for your new kids. she needs you to be there when it's hard. when it's real."

"yeah? well, i'm here now," he sneered, throwing his hands up, slurring the words more. "and what do you want me to do about it? you always making me the bad guy. always acting like you're the one with the answer to everything. i'm not the villain in this. i'm just trying to live my life. you're the one who keeps holding her back."

alessia stepped forward, her eyes blazing with an intensity that made even harrison step back slightly.

"no, you are the villain, harrison," she said, her voice low, the words cutting through the tension like a knife. "because every time you walk away, every time you make it about yourself, you hurt her. and you've been doing it for years. you think she'll just forget? you think she'll just smile and pretend you didn't leave her to wait for you while you moved on with your perfect little life?"

harrison, for once, didn't know how to respond, didn't have a smarmy comment to make. he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. for once, he looked... defeated.

alessia took a deep breath. "you've had so many chances over the years, and every single time you mess it up. that girl, your daughter deserves better than this. better than you."

before harrison could respond, leah stepped in, her tone final and cutting. "no you've messed it up enough, mate. leave her be."

alessia's chest heaved, her words still echoing in her mind. "i'm done," she said, quieter now, but firm. "and so is y/n."

the anger that had simmered for so long between them was now fully unleashed, and it felt like everything had come crashing down all at once. harrison was left standing there speechless, but knowing in his gut that for once, he was the one who was wrong.

and now, it was too little, too late to make it right. alessia didn’t give him the chance to respond, instead just letting out a breath she hadn’t even realised she was holding and spinning on her heel, leah making sure to get one last glare in at him before following alessia who was in doubt of mind searching to comfort you.

the sun was low now, casting long shadows over the far end of the training ground. the crowd had mostly filtered out, leaving only a few stragglers and the distant buzz of conversations.

alessia stormed around the back of the building, cheeks flushed and jaw tight, leah close behind her. the confrontation with harrison still ringing in her ears.

the shouting, the disbelief, the absolute nerve of him showing up like that. with his perfect little picture zoey, louis, and lily as if this was some feel-good family day out.

"i’m sure she ran this way," alessia said breathlessly, eyes scanning the benches. "i saw her. she was crying—"

"there," leah said, nodding toward the corner to where you were sat curled up on a bench, facing the fence. your shoulders were hunched, arms wrapped tightly around your knees, head tucked in.

"lovie," alessia called softly as they approached. "baby, it's me."

"no go away," you muttered. your voice hoarse clear that you had been crying as you stayed still, not lifting her head.

leah crouched beside you, keeping her voice even. "angel, we aren’t going anywhere."

"i said go away." you snapped, turning slightly. your eyes were red, cheeks streaked with tears. "you’ve already done your bit, yelled at him, told him off. gold star for parenting for both of you."

alessia flinched but didn't back off, she knew your words were just out of pure anger towards your dad, not them. "hey, that’s not why we're here."

"then why are you here?" you said, standing abruptly. "to make me feel better? you can't. he ruined it. again. and i’m tired of everyone acting like that's surprising."

leah stood beside alessia now, her expression still soft but firm. "no, y/n you don't get to stand here pretending you're not hurting when we know you are."

you barked a humorless laugh. "what gave it away? the tears or the part where i ran off in front of everyone like some little kid?"

"no one's judging you," alessia said gently, trying to take a step closer to you but you took one back.

"well, maybe i am." your voice cracked. "maybe i’m just sick of being disappointed. every time he shows up, i let myself believe it'll be different. i let myself care and i hate that. i hate that i smiled a little when i heard his voice cause then he does this-“

your voice dropped as fresh tears filled your eyes. "he brings them. like i’m supposed to just smile and play big sister. like i haven't spent half my life waiting for him to care."

alessia took a slow breath, trying again and taking a step closer. "you don't have to smile. you don't have to be okay. and you don't owe him a thing."

"but why now?" you whispered, your voice threatening to crack. "why today?"

you sat back down on the bench with a thud, voice barely holding together. "i scored the winner. it was my game. for once, people were actually here for me. and then i look over, and he's got his arm around them like they're everything he ever wanted."

"you are everything," alessia said fiercely, kneeling in front of you. "to me. to us. you hear me? you always have been."

"but clearly not to him!" you burst out, fists clenched. "and it's not fair. it’s never been fair."

your voice cracked entirely as you finally let go, the sobs hitting all at once.

"i waited. every birthday. every school play. every time i scored. and he just... didn't come. not unless it suited him. and now he gets to play stupid happy families while i sit here wondering why i wasn't enough."

alessia pulled you into her arms before the last word had even left your lips. you collapsed into your mum’s chest, the weight of years breaking loose all at once.

leah wrapped her arms around both of them, her voice quiet but steady. "you were always enough, angel. he just didn't know how to show up for someone like you."

"he promised," you choked out. "he promised he'd try. i remember. i was little, but i remember."

“i remember too.” alessia’s eyes welled as she held her daughter tighter. "and lovie if i could go back.. to the moment when he first came back knowing what i know now, he would have never got through the front door.”

you hummed, mumbling. “it’s not your fault that he’s stupid, mum.” the three of you sat like that, three hearts pressed close, one breaking, two trying to hold it together. while the cheers from the game faded, and only the truth remained:

this was your moment. and he'd taken it. but you still had them. you still had home.

…

that evening, the light poured softly through the kitchen windows of your family home, casting a golden hue over the wooden counters and the half-eaten celebratory cake still sitting on the table.

the air was quieter now, but the emotions still hummed beneath the surface raw, unspoken, but thick in the space.

you sat at the kitchen table, curled up in one of the chairs, arms folded tightly across her chest, the sleeves of your hoodie pulled over your hands.

your eyes were tired. dried tear marks still clung to your cheeks, now faded from your shower but still there. even though you wouldn't let yourself cry again. not now.

you barely registered the sound of the front door opening until a familiar voice called out.

"where is our superstar?" mario’s deep, warm voice carried into the kitchen, followed by the soft click of carol’s heels.

"we brought flowers," carol said as they walked in, holding out a bouquet that looked far too elegant to have come from a petrol station so clearly mario had been sent into a proper florist.

you gave them a small smile. "hey, nonna. nonno. mum is just in the shower and mama and just nipped to the shop.”

mario leaned down to kiss her head, then ruffled your curls. "oh we can catch them later. we really came to spend time with our superstar. heard you scored the winner. you made us proud, darling."

"course she did," carol said, smoothing your shoulder before pulling up a chair beside her. "you’re a russo through and through. got the goal-scoring in your blood."

you shrugged. "didn’t really feel like it today."

carol’s smile faded gently. "we heard what happened. from your mum."

you didn't answer.

mario sat across from you, setting the flowers on the table. "you don't have to talk about it. but you can if you want to."

you stayed silent for a beat, eyes fixed on the table. then, quietly:

"he brought them. his new family. to my match."

carol reached over, gently covering your hand with her own.

"i didn't even know they were coming. he didn't warn me. just... turned up with them. and i-i felt so stupid for being glad he came at first."

mario sighed heavily, rubbing his jaw. "tiny, tesoro... that man's made more mistakes than you ever deserved to live through. but feeling hope when you see your dad… that doesn't make you stupid. it makes you human."

you blinked rapidly, throat tightening. "i don't even want to care anymore. i wish i didn't. but i do. and it hurts."

"of course it does," carol said softly. "it’s okay to say that. it’s okay to be angry. you’ve earned the right to feel every single bit of this."

you swallowed hard. "he always said he was trying. that he'd do better. that it just took time."

mario leaned forward. "when you were four, and he turned up at the door again after leaving your mum to do it all on her own. i looked that boy in the eye and told him: 'don’t come back if you're only going to break her heart.' he said he'd changed. said he'd show up. you know how many times i believed that?"

you looked up at your grandfather, eyes glassy. "how many?"

"none," mario said simply. "because showing up once doesn't matter if you don't keep showing up."

carol nodded. "but we showed up. your mum, your mama, us. every time. we watched you grow into this smart, fierce, unstoppable young woman. and nothing he does or doesn't do can ever take that away."

you looked between them, the familiar ache in your chest beginning to ease just slightly.

"i just didn't want to feel invisible today," you whispered. mario stood and walked around the table, crouching beside your chair and cupping your cheek in his hand.

"you are never invisible. not today, not ever. we saw you. everyone saw you. and your mum — well god help anyone who tries to steal her daughter's spotlight again."

that drew a faint laugh from you. carol leaned in too, kissing your forehead. "you don't need him to shine, my love. you already do, all on your own”

the stadium was loud like properly loud, usual for an such a small venue. the kind of noise that usually settled in alessia’s chest and made her feel electric. but today she wasn’t in her boots. she wasn’t in the tunnel either and wasn’t lining up beside the girls.

today alessia was in the stands. her ankle was strapped tight under her jeans. nothing serious, just a precaution after a small muscle strain but enough to keep her out of the match day squad.

she hated it. it was a rare feeling that she wasn’t used to. hated just watching. hated not being able to help her team.

but when a small, sticky hand slipped into hers, clutching jelly sweets like treasure, the frustration softened slightly. you climbed onto the seat beside your mummy, swallowed whole by an oversized england shirt with of course the usual number on the back.

“mummy,” you asked loudly over the crowd, “why aren’t you down there?”

alessia smiled, brushing a curl from her daughter’s forehead.“my ankle’s a bit sore, remember? so i’m resting it.”

you narrowed your eyes suspiciously, your sweets falling from your side slightly. “did you forget to stretch?”

alessia laughed under her breath. “cheeky.”

down on the pitch, the girls were finishing their warm-up. you waved enthusiastically toward the field.

“there is auntie ella?”

alessia followed your finger that was pointing towards ella, who was doing exaggerated high knees and very clearly playing to the crowd and as always singing along to the stadium music.

“yep, that’s tooney.”

“why does she run funny?”

“she doesn’t run funny.”

“but she does mummy.”

alessia bit her lip to stop from laughing. “you can tell her that after the match.”

they’d whistle blew for kickoff and you shuffled closer without asking, climbing straight into alessia’s lap. alessia wrapped both arms around her instinctively, chin resting on top of her daughter’s head.

the calm surprised her.

usually on match day her body buzzed. today, holding you steady while the game unfolded in front of them, everything felt quieter and softer. like this was how she was supposed to watch every game, watching it through your eyes.

“mummy,” you whispered after a few minutes, eyes glued to the pitch, “why do they pass backwards? the goal is that way?”

alessia smiled into your hair. “sometimes you have to go back to go forward.”

you gasped like this was groundbreaking news. “that’s a bit silly.”

a tackle happened near the halfway line, georgia and a the opposing midfielder and you stiffened immediately. “is she okay?!” you panicked.

“she’s okay,” alessia soothed. “see? georgia’s getting up.

you watched intensely until the georgia was back on her feet.

“you should kiss it better.”

alessia blinked, her brows furrowing. “on the pitch?”

“yes.”

“i don’t think the ref would like that.” you frowned at the injustice.

midway through the first half, england won a corner. the crowd rose and you followed, wobbling on the seat before gripping alessia’s shoulders for balance.

“MUMMY LOOK! THEY’RE ALL SQUISHED!”

alessia laughed softly. “that’s called marking, lovie.”

“look like pushing to me.”

“well… yeah sometimes.”

the ball swung in. england scored. the stadium erupted.

you screamed purely because everyone else screamed, arms flailing wildly before you buried your face in alessia’s neck from the noise.

alessia held you tight, one hand cupping the back of her head. “it’s okay, lovie. that’s just cheering.”

you peeked out slowly. “we did it?”

“we did.”

even though alessia hadn’t touched the ball. even though she’d spent the week frustrated at her body for letting her down.

up here, with you asking a hundred questions and clinging to her like she was the safest place in the world, it felt different.

it felt important, more special.

the second half rolled on and you began narrating her own version of the match.

“she’s running too fast.”

“why the lady in yellow angry?”

“does the grass get tired?”

alessia answered every single question seriously.

by the seventy-minute mark, your little voice had gone quiet. your small body felt heavier against alessia’s chest.

“you getting tired, lovie?” alessia whispered.

“no,” you muttered stubbornly, eyes already blinking slowly. “i’m watchin’.”

by full time, you were fast asleep. your cheek squished against alessia’s hoodie. one tiny fist still gripping the fabric. the final whistle blew and the stadium stood again, applauding.

alessia stayed seated just a moment longer, looking down at the pitch at her team celebrating together.

then she adjusted you carefully on her hip and stood “come on then,” she murmured softly. “let’s go see the aunties.”

staff waved her down without hesitation, smiling as she stepped onto the pitch with a sleeping toddler curled against her shoulder.

the girls were forming the usual post-match circle when they spotted alessia.

“oi!” someone called. grins spread instantly around the circle.

alessia stepped into the middle carefully. the noise softened automatically, as if the entire team understood there was a tiny human asleep in their space.

beth leaned forward first, peering dramatically at you.

“blimey,” beth whispered. “we played that good we tired the kiddo out.” a ripple of quiet laughter passed around them.

from the other side, lucy shook her head, hands on her hips “best compliment we’ve had all night,” lucy said softly. “straight to sleep.”

alessia smiled, adjusting your legs gently. “she said you were all ‘too squished’ at corners,” alessia murmured.

lucy grinned. “tatical squish.” beth reached out carefully, brushing one finger against your tiny trainer.

“she was cheering before kickoff, by the way. had her mini manager moment but proper little lioness.”

the circle tightened then: arms over shoulders, careful not to jostle alessia too much. leah started speaking then sarina, voice steady and proud, talking about the clean sheet, the work rate, the fight.

alessia listened, breathing in the mix of grass and cold evening air. this was where she belonged. and somehow… so did you even if all you brung was sticky fingers and random questions. you still brought the calmness in a strange way.

when the team chant started, it was softer than usual. less roar, more rumble. protective without anyone saying it out loud.

at the final shout, you stirred slightly. alessia swayed instinctively like she’d done a million times before “it’s okay, baby.”

you blinked just enough to mumble against your mummy’s shoulder. “did we win?”

lucy crouched down to your level, smiling. “we did, kiddo.”you gave a satisfied little nod and fell straight back asleep.

beth looked at alessia and grinned. “yep,” she said quietly. “definitely player of the match.”

"can i talk to mummy." you asked your nonno, holding up your ipad knowing there was special way to call, it having to be done by an adult as your mummy had put restrictions on it months ago after you were calling your auntie ella at five in the morning.

mario didn't even try to argue, one button press later and the call was ringing.

alessia answered from her room at base camp, hair tied up in a bun, headphones half on and posture already softening the second she saw your little face.

"lovie!"

"mummy!" you squealed, the camera jostling wildly as you tried to get a better angle, "i here! 'm in switza-land!"

alessia gushed, a big smile on her face as she looked at your excited little face, "you made it! you look so grown up since mummy last saw you."

"i dis big now" you said proudly, holding your hands up to show your height. "and i didn't sleep on the plane, nonno says i'm a jet lag princess!"

"oh dear," alessia grinned, amused by your excitement and just hearing your voice, "are you going to crash soon?"

"nooo, i had two apple juices and two 'nacks. i'm bouncy!"

alessia chuckled, moving slightly on her bed so she can prop her phone up. "you sure are."

you looked offscreen for a second, then leaned in close, whispering loudly, "mummy?"

"yeah, lovie?"

"where mama?" you asked, your hands now resting on your chin as you waited for alessia to answer.

alessia blinked. "right now?"

you nodded, "i want to say hi."

"she's not in the room, baby. she's downstairs, i think.. getting her treatment." alessia smiled, shuffling a little knowing the next thing you were going to ask.

"can you go see her?"

alessia paused, she knew is was going to be the next thing you said before she then exhaled a soft laugh. "you're really the boss of me, huh?"

you gave a big toothy grin your hands still resting on your chin. "pleasee? i miss her."

that pulled at alessia's heart in a whole new way. "alright, alright. hold on. you better not hang up on me." alessia moved from the comfort of her bed, putting on her slides and tempering her keycard as she slipped it into her sock.

"i won't! i staying right here."

with a chuckle, alessia slipped out of her room, phone in hand, walking along the long hallways and down the short flight of stairs to the physio suite passing maya and beth in the corridor most likely coming back from one of maya's pregame walks.

"who's got you rushing about?" beth teased, as alessia approached them.

"my daughter," alessia said slightly breathless, you shouting a 'hello' from the phone to both beth and maya. "she wants to see le."

the two yelling a hello back to you as maya smirked. "that checks out."

alessia found leah a moment later, lying on the treatment bed her calfs slicked with oil - clearly in the middle of a massage. eyes glued to her phone as she let the therapist do their work.

"le!" she called, walking into the room, leah's head slowly lifting from her phone a shy smile appearing on her face when she saw alessia, "emergency facetime."

leah's brow furrowed, until she saw your little face on the screen, face being held up by your hands as you had a small smile on your lips.

leah then smiled wide, "oh thank god, i thought sarina was calling me back for more tatic sheets." she said as she took the phone from alessia, pressing it close.

"hey my angel, did you have a good flight." leah asked

"hi mama," you said sweetly as you nodded, making some of the team and other girl in the room awe at your cute voice.

"i got my own big bed and a hotel key! mummy says it only for big people but nonna says i'm allowed cause im r-r-repon-ible" you told your mama, as she giggled slightly at your mispronunciation of the word 'responsible'

"is that so, have you grown that much since me and mummy seen you?" leah asked as she watched you flay your arms around as you spoke, carol and mario popping in the frame every so often in the background.

"yup," you nodded proudly. "can i see you and mummy tomorrow?" you asked, your voice a little quieter as your arms stopped moving around with your words.

leah looked up at alessia, who was talking to one of the coaches, as she looked over smiling softly but with sadness still flickering behind her eyes.

"course, we'll see after the game, yeah?" leah said gently, not wanting to overstep or tell you anything different to what alessia had said. "you'll definitely get cuddles."

"mama, we still goin' to the zoo the day after?" you asked, remembering your mummy telling you about it, how your face lit up at the thought of seeing real life elephants. it being one of the only thing you were looking forward to on the trip.

"course, we can see some lions, the giraffes, maybe some monkeys and.." leah listed off as your grin got bigger with excitement.

"elefants!" you cheered, interrupting leah as she nodded fondly, "esme really looking forward to see them, can we see them first, please mama" you hurried out excitedly.

"course we can, mummy has been taking extra special care of her for you," leah smiled as you nodded, a sad wave of a smile appearing on your face but you remembered esme had promised to keep mummy happy for you.

"okay." you yawned suddenly, stretching on the hotel bed like a cat. "'m not tired though."

"you look tired, bub."

"i not!" your voice cracked with the lie.

leah winked, moving the phone to her other hand, knowing you were seconds from falling asleep. "alright, miss wide awake. i'll see you soon. you be good for nonna and nonno, okay?"

"i'm always good." you sleepily said, as alessia came back into the frame of the camera.

alessia snorted a little. "that's a half fib and you know it."

"medium good," you corrected yourself, as your head lay on the soft bed, your mummy insisting it was time for your pj's and bed.

"good night lovie, mummy and mama love you, so much" alessia said as she kissed at the screen. you blowing them back sleepily as alessia caught them holding it close to her chest.

the call ended, finally, with three loud kisses and a million mumbled 'good nights' leah handing alessia's phone back to her with a small shake of her head.  "she runs this whole operation," leah murmured.

alessia nodded, not even attempting to disagree. "she really does."

and despite the ache, the fact alessia couldn't pull you into her arms right now or tuck you into bed. the facetime left her and leah feeling a little fuller. a little braver. ... the game against france had left a dull ache in alessia's chest. not just from the loss but from the few fleeting second that she saw you for after the final whistle. you had been curled up in carol's arms in the stands just behind the dugout, eyes heavy with sleep, the sky long gone dark.

alessia had jogged over just to kiss your forehead. you barely even stirring, murmuring something about 'goals and glitter boots' before her mum whispered, "she didn't make it past halftime less,"

but tonight was different.

the lionesses had come out with fire against the dutch, and alessia had played her heart out. no goals but three assists, each one carefully threaded like she was stitching something sacred back together. alessia had energy, control, composure.

as the cheers were still echoing through the crisp swiss night as england file off the pitch, the echoes of sweet caroline lingering faintly beyond the floodlit stadium.

a 4–0 win over the dutch. with three assists for alessia. her name was the one the media team had at the top, the player of the match trophy was hers, her performance one the commentators will gush about for days. the sort of night any player dreams of.

but alessia didn't feel it. not properly.

not when her chest feels hollow, when she knows you are waiting just beyond the tunnel, probably fighting to keep your eyes open despite the late hour.

alessia barely registers the usual post-match noise. the microphones shoved under her chin. the flash of cameras. the reporter's voice feels far away as alessia mutters through the mandatory questions like she's already practiced them in her bedroom beforehand, nodding at words she doesn't quite hear.

leah as always lingers close, a steady presence, occasionally brushing alessia's arm in quiet reassurance. alessia can't stop the restless bounce in her knee, the impatient shift of her weight, her eyes darting toward the mouth of the tunnel every other second.

by the time she's free of the cameras, she's practically jogging. her boots click against the concrete, the din of the stadium softening into the low hum of the concourse. leah keeps pace beside her, silent but watchful, her hand brushing against alessia's as if to ground her.

the family section is alive with the usual chaos. lucy is crouched, letting her niece stick a glittery lionesses stickers to her forehead while pulling exaggerated faces.

ella, ever the joker, is in fits of laughter as she tells one of her jokes to her boyfriend, joe, making joe double over in laughter. the scene is warm, familiar but alessia doesn't stop.

because then she sees you.

you are standing beside your nonna, curls a little messy, the tiniest england flag clutched in your hand. your socks don't quite match, one slouching around your ankle.

your wearing the oversized england hoodie alessia bought you last month. the one you calls her 'lucky one' because you wore it when your mummy scored against spain in the nations league.

the moment your wide eyes spot alessia, your whole face lights up like a lantern. relief. recognition. love. and then, just as quickly, it crumples.

"mummy!" the cry cracks in the middle, a tiny sound swallowed by the cavernous space.

you sprint, your trainers slapping against the concrete. alessia barely has time to crouch before you barrel into her, flinging your arms around your mummy's neck so hard alessia nearly tips backward. alessia catches you, holding you as if the ground might open beneath the two of you.

"i've missed you, lovie," alessia whispers, tucking her nose into your curls, breathing in the faint scent of strawberry shampoo and her mum's laundry detergent.

usually, that earns a squeal or a breathless, 'did you see me on the telly, mummy?' or you would usually wriggle to show off your face paint you'd had done before the game or demand alessia carry you all the way to the car like a koala as you bargain your way to a later bedtime so you can spend time with your mummy and mama.

but not tonight.

tonight, you just cling tighter, your small body trembling. when alessia pulls back a little to check your face, she sees your bottom lip quivering.

and then the tears come.

"i don't want you to go," you sobs, your words breaking as your little shoulders shake, your voice hiccupping as you cling tighter.

alessia's heart feels like it's being squeezed in a vice. she hugs you tighter, swaying instinctively, rubbing gentle circles into your back. "hey, hey... it's okay, lovie. i've got you. i promise i've got you."

but the words don't seem to touch you. your fists curl tighter into alessia's kit, the fabric wrinkling in your tiny hands as you press your face into your mummy's shoulder, sobbing softly but with a rawness that slices through alessia's chest.

leah crouches beside them, her voice soft, a careful calmness to it. "hey, angel. you know nonna's making pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, right? then by the time breakfast is finished, we'll be going to the zoo, you told me on facetime how excited esme was to see the other elephants."

you doesn't even look up. "don't... want pancakes or zoo. want mummy. m-mummy stay."

the last two words crack, like they're too heavy for your small mouth.

alessia swallows hard, blinking back the sting behind her eyes. she can feel the conflict tearing her apart: her head knows she can't break fa rules, can't skip curfew or haul her daughter into camp.

but her heart? her heart is screaming at her to just take you in her arms, bundle you into the hotel and the rules be damned.

ella swoops in having seen the scene pan out just beside her and her boyfriend, joe. and having heard from alessia how you weren't really yourself since the tournament had started.

ella crouching low so she was eye level with you, her grin bright but gentle. "tiny, if you come with me, i'll teach you how to steal grace's boots tomorrow. she hates it. make her do warm-ups tomorrow in her socks."

grace, looming behind her, crosses her arms with mock severity. "oi, don't drag me into your schemes. tiny, tell your auntie ella she's trouble."

usually, that would earn a shy giggle, maybe even a cheeky remark as you would agree just to wind them both up. tonight, you doesn't even blink at them, your sobs quieting into shaky breaths as you burrow further into alessia's neck.

alex edges closer, her presence offering something calmer, something softer. "less... want me to grab her some water? might help her calm down a bit."

alessia glances up, grateful. "yeah... thanks, alex."

as alex slips away, keira, quieter than the rest, leans in and murmurs to alessia, "we'll cover for you, less if you want a bit longer. sarina can wait. nobody is rushing you."

alessia nods, her throat too tight to speak, her hand running up and down your back in slow, steady motions. her teammates linger nearby, some trying to coax a smile, others simply existing as a quiet circle of support.

even beth, who usually is the first to crack a joke, just rests a gentle hand on alessia's back, murmuring, "she'll settle, less. she's just tired."

it takes just over half an hour, water that alex fetched, your nonno's coaxing promises of pancake flipping, and leah softly offering to read esme the elephant later. before you finally, reluctantly, let carol scoop you into her arms.

even then, your small hands stretch toward alessia, fingers splayed, reaching, reaching... until the car door closes. silent tears slip down your cheeks, your big eyes fixed on your mummy through the window as the taillights fade into the night.

the moment her parents and you are gone, alessia's composure shatters. the ache in her chest crashes over her in a wave so strong her knees nearly buckle. she presses her palms to her eyes, trying to hold herself together, but her breath catches, trembling.

leah steps in instantly, no words, just wrapping her arms around alessia and tucking her against her chest.

"she thinks i don't want her," alessia chokes out, her voice cracking. "she doesn't understand. and my head's telling me i need to be here, i need to focus... but my heart's telling me to just take her. forget the rules. just... take her and so she can be with me, be with us."

leah holds her tighter, resting her chin on top of alessia's damp hair as she places gentle kisses to the top of her head. "i know. i know, less. but we'll get through it. you're not alone. not in this."

around them, the other lionesses begin to drift away, beth giving alessia's back one last comforting pat, as ella mouths "we'll sort something tomorrow" as she walks off with keira.

only leah stays, the team giving the two a bit of space, as leah lets alessia cry into her shoulder, her thumb stroking soothing circles at the base of her spine, peppering small kisses to her head and she whispered it was all going to be okay.

when alessia finally pulls back, she fumbles into her backpack and finds the small, worn plush toy, esme the elephant, the one you never slept without. alessia clutches it tightly to her chest, her eyes still wet.

alessia scrolled aimlessly on her phone, ignoring the way her fingers shook against the screen. notifications from the team group chat popped up: training updates, memes, the usual chaos. but she didn't open them.

she couldn't. now when her stomach churned with something heavier than nerves before a huge final.

"alessia russo?"

alessia's head snapped up at the sound of her name. the nurse gave her a kind smile, clipboard tucked against her side like this was any other thursday. alessia swallowed hard, pushed herself up, and followed.

the hallway felt too long, like each step dragged her further into a life she wasn't ready for but couldn't turn away from either.

inside, the room was small and sterile. a monitor sat in the corner, screen black and waiting. the paper on the exam bed crinkled as alessia climbed up, her heart hammering against her ribs.

"and you're here for your first ultrasound?" the tech asked, glancing at the chart in her hands as she smiled warmly. "how exciting."

alessia nodded because words stuck in her throat. exciting wasn't exactly the word she'd pick. terrifying, maybe. overwhelmed, definitely. but instead alessia just mumbled a small, "yeah," and forced a small smile.

"first baby?" the woman continued, snapping on a pair of gloves as she moved the machine closer to the bed where alessia was lying.

"uh... yeah." alessia shifted on the bed, her fingers twisting in the edge of the paper sheet.

"you nervous?" the question was gentle, teasing almost, like the woman had seen this a thousand times before.

alessia let out a breathy laugh that sounded nothing like a laugh. "a little, yeah" alessia admitted, voice quiet.

"that's normal," the tech assured her. "everyone feels that way the first time no matter what they say. you're doing great."

only alessia didn't feel great. she felt like her chest was too tight and the walls were too white and she might cry before anything even started.

the woman reached for the gel, giving alessia another friendly smile. "is dad joining us today? or just you?"

alessia froze for half a second, the words slamming into her chest like a punch. dad. the word burned. said dad didn’t even know she was here today, hadn’t asked about his baby. that alone was enough to make her stomach clench in a way that had nothing to do with the probe about to touch her.

instead harrison's voice rang in her head, sharp and final: 'i'm not ready for this, less. i can't do this.'

he had said it like it was that simple. like walking away was easy and the best option. like leaving alessia to pick up the pieces wasn't going to crush her.

her jaw tightened. alessia swallowed the lump rising in her throat and forced her voice to sound steady when she said, "just me."

the tech nodded like it was no big deal, completely unfazed. like she’d seen it a million times and probably had "no problem. plenty of mums come alone."

alessia nodded, but her chest still felt raw, scraped hollow. she hated how much that question hurt, hated how it made her feel like she'd failed her baby before she even started. like she was already doing this wrong.

"the gel might feel a little cold," the woman said gently, squeezing it onto alessia stomach.

alessia flinched as the chill hit her skin. "oh-yeah, that's... cold," she muttered, because what else was she supposed to say?

"sorry about that." the tech grinned as she adjusted the probe. "ready to see your baby?"

alessia hesitated, her gaze flicking to the blank monitor. ready? was she ever going to be ready? but she gave the smallest nod.

and then the probe pressed gently against her stomach, and she stared at the ceiling because she wasn't sure she was ready to see-

"there we are," the woman said softly.

alessia's eyes flicked to the monitor. a tiny flicker of movement. a blur. and then...

"do you hear that?" the room filled with a steady, rapid thump-thump-thump.

alessia's breath hitched.

"that's your baby," the tech said, her voice warm now, like she understood what this moment meant even if alessia couldn't quite put it into words. "it looks like everything's measuring right on track. i would say your around 8 weeks"

that sound. god. that was hers. her baby.

alessia's vision blurred, and she bit the inside of her cheek hard, like pain could hold her together. the woman glanced at her, soft smile still in place. "you okay?"

alessia nodded quickly, even though her throat was tight. "yeah. i... yeah."

she thought of harrison for the briefest second. how he'd sat on her bed two weeks ago, hands twisted in his lap, saying, 'im not ready to be a dad, it's too soon.' like the choice was his to make. like walking away wasn't going to leave her here, alone.

except...alessia wasn't really alone. not anymore. because that sound, that tiny heartbeat, was louder than the fear clawing at her ribs.

the tech printed out a few images and handed them over along with a few other info sheets with another warm smile. "here you go. take good care of yourself, okay?"

alessia took them carefully, like they might break. "thank you," she whispered, because it was the only word she could find.

...

alessia's dorm was quiet when she got back. she dropped her bag by the door and sank onto the couch, the ultrasound pictures still clutched in her hand. she stared at them until her eyes blurred again. a laugh, half a sob, slipped out.

the tiny little figure is mine. it's real.

alessia's phone buzzed on the cushion beside her.

lotte: 'we're coming over. no arguing!'

em: 'we have snacks. and ice cream. don't even try to say no.'

alessia huffed out a breath, somewhere between exasperation and relief. they always knew when to show up.

half an hour later, the door burst open without warning, and lotte's brunette head appeared first followed by emily balancing two grocery bags.

"less!" emily called out, kicking the door shut. "you're supposed to be resting, not ghosting us."

"i wasn't ghosting," alessia muttered, tugging her hoodie sleeves over her hands.

"you were," lotte said simply, dropping onto the couch beside her. she glanced at alessia, then frowned. "what's that?"

alessia froze, totally forgetting about the little pictures. the pictures which were half hidden under her leg. but it was too late, emily leaned over and plucked them up before alessia could stop her.

“less..” emily’s voice softened instantly as she looked between the photos and alessia, “you went today?”

alessia nodded, staring at the floor. "why didn’t you tell us," lotte said quietly. not angry. just...hurt, and slightly worried she didn’t want her friend to be taking on such a heavy load alone.

"i didn't want to make a big deal," alessia whispered. "you both have classes, training and your own problems"

"less." emily crouched down in front of her so she had no choice but to meet her eyes. "your literally growing a human being. it the biggest deal and plus this is our little niece or nephew"

alessia laughed weakly, but it cracked in the middle. "i just— i didn't want to be a problem."

lotte wrapped an arm around her shoulders without hesitation, pulling her in. "hey, your never a problem. ever. but you don't have to do this by yourself."

emily held up the picture, smiling through a wobble in her voice. "look at your little baby. that...that's insane."

alessia blinked hard, because if she started crying now, she wouldn't stop. “next time," lotte said firmly, squeezing alessia tighter, "we're coming with you. no arguments."