REFLECTION : Enneagram
It was my first time to complete an Enneagram personality test. There were two tests where I was categorized as Type 9 in the first one and Type 2 in the second. Types 9 and 2 were very closely related although I classified myself more as a Type 2 :)
There were also two paths for each type: the path of integration and disintegration. Integration refers to your “area of growth” while disintegration refers to your “area of stress”.
To access the first test (14-page; approx. 15-25 mins) go to this link:
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/dotest
To access the second test (52-item; shorter version approx. 5-8 mins) go to this link:
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test-2
My Enneagram number is Two. My strengths lie in being sincere, warm-hearted, generous, and self-sacrificing. I am a natural people-person, genuinely helpful to people sometimes even beyond my personal capacity. I would be committed to put my personal interest last, usually not the center of attention but the people whom I am serving. These traits would have a very positive impact on people by warming their hearts, by making them believe in themselves, and by being unafraid to find their way to success. The love and concern they feel would radiate on my feelings too, thereby paving the way for an environment of mutual trust and understanding.
On the other hand, my negative qualities include self-deception, the tendency to become over-involved in the lives of others, and the tendency to manipulate others to get my own emotional needs met. I constantly have my underlying fear of worthlessness so I strive to do something extraordinary in order to win love and acceptance from others. My positive traits on being completely generous, unselfish and self-sacrificing are unconsciously satisfying my own personal wanting for worthiness. The problem is that “putting others first” makes me secretly angry and resentful – feelings that would be hard to repress or deny. Nevertheless, they eventually show in various ways, disrupting my personal relationships and revealing the inauthenticity of some of my wonderful “others-centered” traits and the depth of my love. This, in turn, could create an environment of mistrust and broken relationships.
My path of disintegration is Eight. Eights are described to be self-confident, strong, and assertive. They feel they must control their environment especially people and sometimes become confrontational and intimidating. They fear of being controlled by others. When I am acting out under stress and have pushed my natural behaviors to the limit, I tend to be an Eight. I have observed this whenever someone asks me to do something, and I simply find it hard to obey. I do not like being bossed around rather, I tend to be the one making the rules and be in control of the situation whenever I am stressed. I simply dislike being told what to do especially if that is something I have already thought of doing. Likewise, I do not let the opinions of others sway me regardless of how I am aware of what they think of me. I usually just go about my business with a steely determination and defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of my actions. I also tend to become uncharacteristically brash and direct which may come off as a shock to people who are used to my caring side. This can be my reminder to self-reflect and re-assess my life to make room for healthy breaks, compose myself and recharge. Surprisingly, some behaviors of Eight can be drawn from the negative qualities of Two. Being a Two, I tend to manipulate others to get my emotional needs met. This somehow explains why I have the aversion to conform and just want to be in control of others and the situation.
On the other hand, my path of integration is Four, the individualist. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal but can also be moody and self-conscious. They maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others and feel that they are unlike other human beings. More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies. Having type Four as my area of growth, I tend to be very emotionally honest especially when it comes to relationships. When I am asked how I feel, I do not hold back and just say what I truly feel even if that will create an uncomfortable feeling towards the other person. This behavior helps me to remain true in relationships I involve myself with as I and the other person are able to establish trust in each other. Creating an emotionally safe environment with the people I trust also results to a strong sense of inner security as I feel I am accepted for who I am and not as the image I believe I need to portray. I also get the feeling of being an individualist by doing things on my own, in my own way, and in my own terms. At work, I can say I prefer being an individual contributor rather than a team player because I am more comfortable doing things in my own way by planning independently and completing the task myself. Lastly, being self-aware and introspective, I tend to become sensitive and intuitive both to myself and others. This is when my behavior of being a Four can be rooted to my core personality of being a Two. Since I am sensitive of others’ feelings, I find it easy for me to tend to their needs and to be of help in all ways possible.
