#enneagam

w1: rigidity, correctness, criticisms of self for not doing "good," anger, perfectionism, frustration, high standards.

w2: helping, eager to connect, wants to win people over, proud in being useful/attractive/necessary, warmth, knowing what they want.

w3: adaptive, charming, morphs into what's successful, wants to inspire, connect, lead, can also be false or misleading, ambitious.

w4: elitist, good taste, rigid in their vision, wants things ideal, works to make them so, distance from others, self-reliant, aware of flaws.

w5: knowledgeable, objective, thinking through problems, distance, minimizing of needs, stingy, withholding of self, not 'doing.'

w6: loyal, dependable, anxious, fearful, reactive, drawing attention to what is wrong, not giving up on people/situations/organizations.

w7: fun-loving, spontaneous, funny, energetic, driven to make things happen, a source of fun for themselves and others, avoidant, hates pain, death, suffering, loss.

w8: assertive, aggressive, powers through situations, firm boundaries, can be overly angry, reactive, shoot from the hip, make enemies.

Do you think this might also be an Si/SJ thing, and/or maybe 6-related? I say this because my mum is DEFINITELY an ESFJ, who might have a 1 fix but her gut fix is last (269/261).

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She’s a 2w3 core with a 6w7 fix (her planning is motivated more by a “be prepared for anything” mentality rather than “this is the correct way to live”), then I waffle on her gut fix - either 9w1 or 1w9, but it’s not as strong as her head fix and definitely nowhere near her 2 core. Either way, I don’t see a strong 1 influence with her, and she definitely doesn’t use Te.

She sounds like a typical ESFJ. They do like things in their place, they do keep detailed records and phone numbers usually (because Fe cares about a lot of people and is good at networking, and Si is detail driven). Gut-fix wise, she could have a 1 fix leading her to want an additional sense of control over her environment, but I’d look at the overall types on the whole – 269 is one of the more complacent types when it comes to self-actualization. 2w3 wants to look good, 6w7 wants to be safe, and 9w1 doesn’t want conflict. A 261 on the other hand wants to be always strive for self-improvement in some way, and that will include wanting to have more control over their organization / environment.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/misha-collins-supernatural-family-meal.html

The Enneagram can help us understand why each of us deals with discord differently — and how we can find common ground. Click on the circles in the interactive image above to learn more about the nine personality types.