He's deeply loyal and craves love, acceptance, and intimacy.
He actually, in a sense, "uses" this (you, your love for him and his love for you, his desire to provide and protect you) to "prove" himself that he has value, and that he's a "proper" man, too.
This means he has many insecurities and can doubt himself pretty often even if he does it hest not to show it.
He's really family-oriented and wants to create his own, with (hopefully) many children.
He's very bad at voicing his feelings, and this leads to many misunderstandings between you two.
That doesn't stop him from complimenting you and showing you with love, though!
He's fierce and prideful but has quite the self-esteem issues that can turn into self-loathing and anger.
When he loves you, he'll do it with his whole heart, and his life will revolve around you and your wants and needs.
He'll absolutely make sure you know how much he adores you!
He loves bringing you gifts from all over Egypt that he thinks you might like. He enjoys physical closeness and takes pride in protecting you and isn't shy to show that to the rest of the Gods, either.
One of his greatest fears is being perceived as "weak" (meaning, not enough), and he is terrified of you abandoning him to find a "better" man because of it.
This makes him hate himself even more because doesn't that basically mean he's doubting his own partner's love and loyalty? He really doesn't deserve you.
When things get bad, and he's emotionally a wreck, he tends to isolate himself and just makes things even worse for himself. (He would hate you to see him while crying!)
-HORUS-
He might not show it, but he's actually very possessive and easily gets jealous to the point that it can feel way too much.
He's intensely devoted, and once he loves you, you become the centre of his world.
He's overprotective and would jump into harm's way if it means to keep you safe.
He might look very passive outwardly, but his emotions are always very strong.
Unfortunately, he's also a momma's boy.
He loves doing stuff for you, be it protecting you, cooking you a meal, or just carrying your bag for you.
It would actually be almost impossible to sway his love or turn him away.
He can get so jealous that he would even see your pet as a rival for your attention!
He knows he's being unreasonable, but he will still try to act cuter so that you'll look to him.
He's extremely territorial and loathes to see other men giving you attention. Even non-romantic relationships can be seen as competition!
Yes, this is something he knows he has to work on, but he doesn't want to :(
He's really gentle with the way he handles you, and he loves it when you give him physical affection.
He likes it when you take initiative.
He often doesn't verbalize worries or insecurities, which can cause misunderstandings between you.
He's the first to get on his knees and apologize, though.
-ANUBIS-
He's very cautious and stoic when you first approach him. His gut reaction is to see anyone he meets as a "hostile" until they prove him otherwise.
He's actually very affectionate and clingy once you're together, though.
He wants kisses and cuddles all the time.
He's not very good with voicing his feelings, though, and most of that would fall on you.
You actually have to ask what's wrong as directly as possible for him to give you a straight answer.
He's eager to please so that you won't even think of leaving him (fear of abandonment is in this family's blood).
He has insecurities, too, and is emotionally unstable, prone to pushing you away and closing himself off for long periods of time.
Sometimes, he will even vanish for months without uttering a single word.
He gets really cold and sharp when he's overwhelmed or feeks slighted.
He's also easily triggered.
He'll need constant reassurance about your relationship, too.
Even when you're together, he's still be overly guarded, however.
He would rather suffer than ask for help, by the way.
He's not good with words, and compliments are rare. He would rather do stuff for you (when you're not looking).
He also gets jealous easily and is prone to violence when that happens.
He would rather just vanish than argue.
He would also put his work before you, so...
-OSIRIS-
His skin might be green, but he's a total red flag.
From the outside, he's perfect: charming, gracious, understanding, wise, patient and gentle, trustworthy, nurturing, protective...
It's actually terrifying how he can mask his real personality like this.
If he does fall in love with you, you're screwed, because this man can not and will not take no as an answer.
Either it's him or death. And even then, he might follow you to Duat as well.
He's incredibly manipulative, emotionally controlling, and possessive. And when he does get jealous, it'll always be your fault.
He has the belief that he can "own" you, and you should change for his sake if he asks of you.
He can't accept rejection and will find excuses, or sees it as "ignorance" from your side.
He'll do everything he can for you to "fall" for him (subtly), but if you don't, well, if he can't have your heart, then he'll have to be satisfied with your body.
He is vengeful when he doesn't get his way and won't be afraid of harming you, either.
He will guilt you and will pressure you to do things that he wants.
He has no problem with twisting logic, events, and feelings to serve his needs.
Actually, at some point, he'll start to believe in his own lies, too, and that's more terrifying.
He'll violate your boundaries and will say it's "for your own good."
He believes his desires are more important than your autonomy.
He'll isolate you from everyone and make you feel bad about yourself so that you will be dependent on him.
He'll watch your every move and then use the knowledge he gained to look like a good and caring partner.
-FOREIGN GOD-
He's very playful, flirty, confident, and charismatic.
He loves bold statements of love; the flashier, the better.
He's self-assured and knows he's a total catch.
He's adventurous and will go after anything that promises entertainment.
He's pretty easy-going and fun to be around as well. At least, as long as you don't expect much of him.
But, even while declaring his supposed love for you, he'll continue flirting with others until you get together.
He's blind to your boundaries (usually on purpose) and emotionally pushy.
He's determined to get what he wants, however necessary, and has no problem using coercion or trickery.
He can get very dismissive of your discomfort or safety.
He can also get entitled to your attention and body.
He's one of those red flags that manages to look like a "nice" guy, you know?
He'll constantly flirt, touch, and tease you and make you feel desired.
He's actually unpredictable, and you won't know how he'll react to things.
He's not above cheating.
You must manage his mood swings to avoid escalation.
He doesn't respect consent and will manipulate the situation to get you.
He doesn't really feel empathy towards others' suffering, even yours, despite his claims to love you, unless he can benefit from it.
-THOTH-
He's quiet and reserved at first, but he's actually a total cutie pie when you two start dating.
He gets easily flustered when you show him affection.
He's absolutely loyal to you and would do anything for you, even when he's deadly afraid (look at Ra).
He hates the thought of disappointing you.
He needs reassurance, especially if he thinks someone more powerful or charismatic might take you from him (because, compared to other Gods, he isn't exactly the strongest).
He gets intimidated easily and will seek protection from you by hiding behind you.
He's a great conversationalist!
He's very attentive and will notice even small changes.
He would rather avoid conflict and will try to discuss things out than let things escalate into a fight.
He can't handle you raising your voice to him and will tear up.
He loves spending time with you; reading together, sleeping together, stargazing together...
Just being near you is fulfilling to him.
He is old-fashioned in a very charming way. After all, he's one of the first Gods of Egypt.
He would rather be subtle with his gestures because he doesn't like getting too much attention to himself.
He's very patient and won't rush you for anything.
He'll only act childish with you and will ask you to spoil him every now and then.
He loves to be pampered!
As long as he's at your side, however, he's satisfied <3
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So artificial insemination via lettuce was the least of ancient Egyptian craziness
When fighting for the throne of Egypt, Seth (god of the desert) tried to show his dominance over Horus (god of the sky) by ...cumming on him. The attempt was thwarted, and Horus instead made Seth eat lettuce leaves on which he had ejaculated.
When they stood before Thoth (god of wisdom) to decide, once and for all, who should the ruler of all Egypt be, Horus claimed that since he had impregnated Seth and thus dominated him, Seth wasn't fit to rule. Seth disagreed (my man wasn't aware of the lil' lettuce gag his nephew had pulled).
Thoth then called out to the semen in Seth's body to show itself— the semen came out as proof of Seth's subjugation, and Horus was crowned king.
BUT it gets wilder.
Apparently when Thoth asked Horus' semen to exit Seth's body, the semen took the form of a golden disk— which Thoth put on his own head???
I'M CRYING 😭😭😭
Screenshot from: Lettuce and Kings: The Power Struggle Between Horus and Set, by Morgan Jerkins in the Michigan Quarterly Review
It makes me wonder if this is why certain pieces of literature refer to Thoth as Seth and Horus' son xDD
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thoth malewife supremacy because i will NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM.
i love how he's the god of wisdom but mojito decided to write him as a naive stupid little bonkytonky that loves his wife and lives for bitching about how he doesn't have a crush on nut (which is actually honestly super understandable. id have a crush on sky milf too)
