hi! i am a closeted transgender male pansexual teenager who has grew up as mormon my entire life.
i am so terrified of my identity because im so scared of coming out because my family uses the family proclamation and book of mormon against me all the time.
its people like you helping me realize ill be okay some day :)
Welcome to the community!
It's always difficult to sit in a class at church and hear the Family Proclamation or Covenant Path weaponized against us. Or a conference talk on important aspects of being a Child of God, beloved by Heavenly Parents, used to invalidate our experiences. This can be so much worse when it happens at home. I'm sorry you are dealing with that situation. I grew up in a household where queerphobia was present and still deal with that in conversations with my parents. I think parents don't really understand how deeply and negatively those opinions and expressions can affect us.
I'm glad you are finding safer spaces and community. I am also very glad that anything I say here in my blog might be helpful to you! Finding community has been incredibly important to me. I am fortunate I have an opportunity to travel. I don't know what your situation is, but I am looking forward to attending an Encircle event next week, Gather conference this fall, and I just got my North Star tickets (very cheap atm) for next year! I also attend the online Lift and Love support groups from time to time, listen to podcasts like Papa Ostler's and even attend in person local Gathering events when I can!
I'm not sure if any of those are opportunities that resonate with you or are practical at this time, but I have to say that finding queer saints here on Tumblr was life-changing for me. I have made so many friends! Most virtual, but some irl friends as well. I highly recommend the many excellent blogs on here that give me hope and inspiration (special love to all my mutuals and blogs I am following). I see you already found David's blog @nerdygaymormon. He is one of our absolute treasures <3. You may also be interested in the Queerward Discord server, which has around 300 members and is quite active! Feel free to reach out if you would like to join.
Being queer and LDS can be quite the ride. We need the love of Jesus and the good news of the gospel as much or more than anyone sometimes. I hope you're able to find good places and good found family that allow you to explore and experience all aspects of your identity and faith with love and support.
Love, Erran
