#elucien fluff

“Da, it's itchy!”

Lucien breathed out through his nose, trying to exhale the accumulation of stress and fatigue the trip of their family vacation had put him in.

Traveling from Summer to the Autumn Court without winnowing took a grand total of three days. Three days is nothing to an immortal lifespan. But three days of traveling with a twelve year old adolescent, an eight year old ball of energy, a whiny three year old that still struggles to express his big feelings and an overstimulated pregnant wife… that felt like an eternity.

“Look at my scarf Dad!”

Lucien's head whipped to his one and only baby girl, giving her a thumbs up as she twirled, and twirled, and twirled in her new velvet coat, her scarf dancing in the air, following her movement and accidently hitting Lucien's eldest.

“Hey!” He protested, already set to start a fight with his sister.

“No fighting! Cauldron, Aidan!” Lucien snapped, teeth bared, sounding harsher than he had intended to.

“Cauldron?”

Lucien groaned. “No, no Cole. We can't say Cauldron-” Lucien eyes widened at the pile of ashes and lack of clothes on his youngest body. “Cole! Cauld- Ugh!”

Lucien covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes. He knew damn well that when he'd open them again, the clothes would still be missing from his toddlers body, but…

“Can we go out now? Uncle Eris will be waiting for us,” Aidan complained behind Lucien, hanging himself loosely onto the doorknob. “Again.”

Lucien mentally cursed himself for that gods damned fiery blood genetics at Aiden's arrogant tone. He lifted Cole in his arms, going straight to his drawers to pick out an outfit, again.

“But Da… we don't wear that much clothes in Day…”

Lucien’s eyes softened at Cole's irresistible tiny pout, the same his mate did to trick him into any of her mischief and desires. Not that the pout was needed from Elain to make Lucien fold into her every whims and desires. He'd offer her the moon on a string if she'd ask for it.

“Because the weather is cooler in Autumn, that's why the leaves are different colors here.”

Lucien heard bickering from the other side of the door, but paid no mind. They never fought it out too hard anyway, and preventing them from doing so would cause even more chaos, and he wanted to leave this cabin as soon as possible to let his pregnant mate get some rest.

He saw the frown on his toddler's face as soon as he felt the texture of the wine red wool sweater on his skin. “Come on bud… just for a few days. Plus, grandma might give you an extra muffin if she sees you in the sweater she knitted specifically for you.”

At the mention of his grandma, Cole's eyes sparkled, his smile shining as bright as a mid-day sun. “Grandma made this one?”

“Yes, so don't burn it. ‘Kay bud?”

Lucien's ear twitched when he heard footsteps outside, then the front door opened. Quickly, he picked up Cole and rushed out of the bedroom, only to notice there wasn't a real threat.

“UNCLE ERIS!”

And damned was Elain's peaceful nap. Lucien groaned, and widened himself to the ground to free his wiggling toddler.

Eris assessed his nephews, an unnatural grin plastered on his face as he attempted to look pleasant.

Aidan beamed at his uncle when he squeezed his shoulder. “You've grown,” Eris stated, his eyes gleaming with an emotion Lucien couldn't quite tell.

“Yeah! Baba Helion says I'll probably be taller than my father someday!”

Eris hummed, then his gaze finally met Lucien's. His amber eyes scanned him from head to toe, then he grimaced when his eyes met back with his. “You've looked better,”

“You always look great,” Lucien mumbled, crossing his arms on his chest and running his hands through his hair in an attempt to look somewhat presentable.

“You're going to worry mother if she sees you in this state.”

Lucien wanted to argue back at Eris' bluntness, but before he could keep up with him, Eris added. “You rest with Elain, I'll bring them back by the end of the day,” Eris picked up Cole from the ground before he could climb all the way up into his arms. “And please, next time, at least remember to put on some pants.”

Lucien looked down in horror to confirm that he was indeed not wearing any pants, only his brief.

“Come on, rascals. We're going on an adventure,” Eris calls from over his shoulder, Aidan and Bridget following suit.

“Bye Da!” Cole waved from Eris' shoulder, his siblings already off and running ahead of Eris.

Lucien waved back, and closed the door behind them.

“Alone time?”

Lucien spun around and gasped at the sight of Elain, her skin glowing, her womb full and round with his child, Day Court’s traditional white silk robe hanging loosely onto her body. A low growl escaped his chest, and he scooped her up off the floor effortlessly, climbing the stairs as if she weighed nothing more than a feather.

“Alone time…” He kissed her forehead, heading back to their chamber. “Let's go back to bed.”

And they did.

"Threads of brown, threads of black and threads of orange. Braided like hair. Gems of blue behind it...then flowers...then darkness." Elain murmured before blinking a few times. She was seating with Amren and Mor at one of the veranda connected to the town house. The marble chair under her felt cold and so did the marble table in front of her. She let out a breathe her eyes finally looking down at the brass bowl filled with water.

"Any chance you know what it means?" Moriggan asked wearing her usual red top and long skirt, since it was summer she took advantage of wearing something light.

"No...sorry. they're just so...mysterious. Every time i try.... it's just blurry." Elain said her hands going down to grip her soft pink sundress.

Amren let out a sigh before taking another sip of her red wine but Elain could feel the disappointment, after all unlike Nesta who's power grew day by day or Feyre who's magic was refined like a lady should be Elain had no control over hers despite weeks of training. "It's not something I can force.... ever since the war it's been.... less clear. Less active." Elain kept her head down as she spoke. If she didn't see them she would feel better.

Amren wore a simple black dress, her eyes staring at Elain like a scholar questioning if what in front of her had any merit. "That's why we need to practice, we cannot allow your powers to just be.... empty and useless. You can do so much more, Elain. So much, if you don't use your powers then what's the use of having them?" Amren questioned and Elain could only grip her sundress tighter. She wished Nesta or Feyre was here, they'd cut her some slack.

"Maybe it's how you do it? Your last vision. You said you saw eyes in the sky, eyes everywhere before it was swallowed by the darkness." Morigan said thinking for a moment.

"Seer magic is an extension of divination magic. Oracles as we call them, their magic aren't precise but a familiarity is that they need a tool for it to work. We've tried pendulums, cards, and scrying bowls. What else can we try? I prefer not to induce drugs into her, she might struggle to differentiate between visions and hallucinations." Amren suggested making Elain sat up straight looking at the older fae in a panic. "Please don't." She pleaded.

"We won't Elain." Morigan said and starred daggers at Amren who didn't even care, "You're the nice sister. Besides Feyre would kill us if we tried it." Morigan said as she pats Elain's back to comfort her, "we do however need to figure out how to improve your visions. Especially now with so many threats around."

Elain's heart was beating fast but when she felt another familiar beat she began to calm down. She turned to her side her eyes looking around for something, "Elain? Are you having a vision?" Mor asked. Elain didn't answer but got out of her seat walking towards the front gardens following the path when she heard a familiar tune. A tune she hadn't heard for almost years now, how can that be?

She was nearing the front of the town house and peaked from the side of the wall. She saw him, the fae male who covered her like something gentle. Like she was precious during the worst moment of her life. Lucien Vanserra was immaculately dressed as expected pacing at the front walking back and forth. His mouth moved like he was talking but barely any sound left his luscious lips. Elain assumed he was holding flowers maybe for her, she didn't have much time to ponder when Lucien stopped in his track his russet eye landing on Elain who tried to stay hidden behind a wall.

When the two locked eyes Elain felt like her heart was about to burst out from her chest or maybe it was Lucien's, the seer couldn't tell. Was she nervous or was he? She couldn't tell the difference sometimes. The two of them were starring at each like two deers caught in lantern lights. Maybe this time it'll feel different Elain thought to herself. She quickly hid behind the wall to fix her dress and hair not noticing Amren as well as Mor were already close. "So that's why you were so quiet.", Morigan teased.

Elain stepped out from her hiding spot and noticed Lucien was fixing his hair making sure each strand was behind his ear only stopping when he noticed Elain was standing there looking at him. The two didn't make anymore effort to move, Elain wasn't sure if she wanted too while Lucien looked like he was on the verge of running away.

It'll be different, today will be different Elain thought to herself and took the first step. Lucien took a step and slowly the two walked towards each other, Elain was a few feet away from Lucien trying to remain calm and mask her nervousness. She could tell he was nervous as well, he hid it well but the slight twitch of his mouth, the way he breathed and how tight he was gripping the flowers which Elain thought was a bouquet was actually flowers placed into pots.

Lucien stood there silent, like a statue for a moment but he finally blinked and offered Elain the flowers. 3 types were in Lucien's hand, the whites ones were singing the familiar tune, the yellow one was glowing softly but the pink one looked the most normal. "Hi..." Lucien finally said and his russet eye focused on Elain but was temporarily moved elsewhere when a laugh could be heard. Likely from Mor.

"They're beautiful....what are they?" Elain asked not reaching for the flowers yet. Just looking.

Lucien gulped as if it was a struggle to talk, "flowers." He squeeked out nervously. "They're uh....I thought you might like them. The white ones are called singing orchids, they mimic songs they hear while they're blooming. The yellow ones are star drops, if you shake them their pollen float out like bits of stars. The last one is garden helpers, they sometimes move or walk to help plants that need water or more nurturing." Lucien rambled but stopped when his eyes met Elain's again. A slight blushed on his face, "I got them...for you. If you want." Lucien offered and like before Elain could feel the second heartbeat much faster now.

Elain slowly reached up and grabbed the flowers accidentally touching Lucien's hand. Then it happened, images like memories entered her mind and this time it was clear not riddled or mystical. The future of the humans lands, her old home and village. It had transformed so much and she saw Lucien working on it. "They won't starve because of you." Elain spoke to Lucien who seemed confused.

"What?" He blurted out looking both confused and nervous.

"I just...had a vision. You're going to help my old village. Rows of flowers.... everything was growing." She said and grabbed the flowers from Lucien before bringing them to her nose. They even smelled good, Elain thought. "I wish I could see it...my old home." She spoke almost a whisper.

"I....I haven't done anything yet. Glad I could help eventually." Lucien said rubbing the back of his neck nervously a soft smile on his face the fireling unable to meet the seer's gaze. Elain felt the tug but then the corners of his lisps dropped slightly and then Elain felt it. That horrible feeling like a tightness around her chest. Why... why did he feel this way? Why? Why sadness? Did he not want her? Elain could only question herself.

Elain didn't know Lucien, she wanted to but this feeling. Was it so bad she was his mate? She was a proper lady, she was seen not heard. She was beautiful. So why...why does he feel this way towards her. Elain was afraid of that thought maybe angry as well, she quickly stepped away from her mate looking away. She looked repulsed by the other.

Lucien didn't say anything more but he never did, he never made more effort. "Lucien Vanserra. The high lord of the night court will see you now." Azriel announced from the town house doorway his tone sharp. Lucien gave a slight bow to Elain as goodbye before walking away.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Beron's spawn, manipulator, untrustworthy. Those are the words Lucien had heard earlier in his life. He grew past it, he proved time and time again he was better than his beginnings. Spring's loyal emissary was what he was known by yet after travelling through Hewn City, the research facilities of dawn and the grand libraries of day he heard new ones. Back stabber, the high lady's whore and spring's greatest mistake.

Lucien didn't react, forcing himself to appear as the curated image of the excellent emissary to protect what's left of his reputation. He felt the bitterness of it sometimes, like a rot at the back of his throat. When Tamlin came back that feeling was gone, he thought he could make it right. Fix what's broken. He thought wrong.

Lucien was summoned to the night court on summer solstice, he enjoyed the sights of children playing in the streets of Velaris, the folks dancing around the maypole but he also noticed the lack of tradition. Like something was missing. He didn't care to investigate now that he was standing near the high lord of the night court and his friend, Feyre Archeron. Rhysand was in all black like usual and Feyre was wearing a similar dress like the night, the two of them seating at some well crafted wooden table.

"It's great to see you Lucien. I thought it was a great idea to invite you to Velaris to celebrate summer solstice. See what the court of dreams is like during this time of the year." Feyre said her tone sickeningly sweet. Lucien wasn't an idiot however.

"Thank you for the invitation. Velaris seems active this part of the year. It's nice to see folks dance around the maypole." Lucien answered keeping his composure.

Rhysans was ignoring him for a moment picking lint out of his coat before his violet eyes looked to Lucien. "It is, Velaris is truly wonderful. It would be a waste to not spend it with a special someone this time of the year." Rhysand added eyeing Lucien like prey as he pushed his one of his hands into his pocket. Lucien could feel it, that tug in his brain like strings pulling at his brain but slowly the tug died down.

"It is but humans have their own celebrations as well. I would have liked to learn more about it." Lucien replied as he looked at Rhysand. He focused hard to keep his mind shielded imagining himself inside an inferno scorching everything away. Lucien could swear he saw a slightly twitch and fist forming on Rhysand.

"You're fae, Lucien. You don't belong in that place. You belong here in Velaris. You could spend more time with Elain and who knows maybe become what you're meant to be. The emissary to the night court." Feyre suggested with a friendly smile but it only made Lucien want to stab his own ears out.

"No thanks, I'm fine where I am." He replied simply and Feyre frowned before looking at Rhysand.

"Your talents are being wasted where you are now. Why not work for the night court? What's so important you won't take the job?" Rhysand pressed further.

"I work towards peace, negotiations through fairness and alliance." Lucien answered keeping it short.

Rhysand looked at the fireling who didn't even show a trace of emotions. "So am I. I intend to make the world better, I don't see why that's so hard for you to understand." Rhysand continued before summoning a glass of wine for himself. "How is the spring court?" He finally asked.

"It's rebuilding. The fae are returning and by my estimation it should be open to more trade deals by winter so you don't have to worry about it causing any problems here." Lucien answered his russet eyes not backing down as he looked at Rhysand's violet eyes.

"Problems? What problems?" Feyre asked in confusion. "Nothing for you to worry about Feyre darling. Just something to do with trade routes and goods." Rhysand dismissed Feyre his eyes scanning at Lucien. That horrible tug returned and it felt tighter like it was trying to force Lucien to speak more or kneel. "Nothing else you'd like to add regarding spring? I think you're missing a few key details." Rhysand said.

Lucien struggled slightly but he remained composed despite the pounding in his head. "No. I don't think there's anything I left out." He answered.

"Really? So you think that big wall of ashwood stretching from summer to autumn is nothing?" Rhysand continued to question.

"Every court has different way to defend itself. Winter has harsh blizzards. Day has layered wards just like Velaris." Lucien answered his tongue feeling lighter like it was trying to say more but he resisted. "If you're worried about the wall don't be. You can fly over it if you need to and if need be. Feyre can handle it considering she has a kernel of spring."

Rhysand continued to stare before finally looking away, bored, "You're right. There's nothing my darling Feyre can't do." Rhysand said and grabbed his mates hand to kiss it making Feyre giggle. "If you don't have anything else feel free to spend the day here." Feyre suggested.

"One thing actually," Lucien said and fixed his stance a bit, his head was still pounding. "The fae realms, mostly the coastal kingdom and lands have been....Chaotic lately. Revolts, murders between spouses even small wars between noble houses for powers. At first it seemed... coincidental but autumn court emissaries have all been called back but a few are going to Vallahan. So expect a few set backs in deliveries and shipment. Hybern is still chaotic struggling for power amongst themselves, there's more fight then rebuilding there." Lucien stated without a hint of emotion and bowed at the high lord and lady of the night court before leaving.

That bitter taste in his tongue returned, like bile threatening to spill out. He hated being so close to Rhysand, working for the fae who made his and Tamlin's life hell but he couldn't do anything, not until figure out how to deal with this situation not with Elain in the equation. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable but it seems that's what he only does.

He speed walked through pathways and alleys, he just wanted out. He needed to reach outside of Velaris wards to winnow away and it was still a bit far, he stoppes just as he felt it. That coldness that was wrapping around his feet just as he cornered into an alleyway. Lucien looked down and groaned, "you don't know when to give up do you?" Lucien utter out annoyed and tired.

He looked around as his body started to glow slightly like a piece of daylight, his russet eye filling with flame. His eyes stayed on the shadow beneath him watching it turn from a simple shadow before it wiggled like a slug thrown into salt. When the parasitic shadow wiggled out escaping into the darkness of the alleyway Lucien only smirk smugly at the direction it went. He snapped his fingers before disappearing without a trace and a few moments later the spy master walked out of the shadows looking annoyed his eyes on where Lucien stood.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

"I don't understand, what else could he want? Working for you would be a dream. Who wouldn't want to work for the best high lord in the world." Feyre gushed at Rhysand as she ate some cake.

"I don't know Feyre....but we should consider him a lost. He's too stubborn. Maybe an enemy perhaps." Rhysand said annoyed.

"Enemy? Rhysand why? He hasn't done anything to endanger us." Feyre questioned.

Rhysand sipped more of his wine, "only a guilty person hide his thoughts. We invited him and he insulted us by casting several mind wards." He explained. "If he wasn't hiding something why would he have so many powerful wards against daemati. He's can't be trusted." Rhysand continued.

"I can't believe it... Lucien knows you're good the better high lord in fact." Feyre said in disbelief before looking to Rhysand. "What do we do now?" She asked.

"Prepare, we can't deny the fact that he's useful considering his many connections but we can't trust him at all. He'll fall in line or he'll perish swallowed by the night." Rhysand said and leaned forward to kiss feyre, "don't worry. I wont let him steal Elain from us. We'll give him a chance to prove himself as an ally." Rhysand then kissed Feyre's forehead, "I think we should head back to the nursery. Nyx is probably biting the caretaker now."

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Tamlin, Houyi and Shel were at a village. The high lord speaking with to a family of Satyrs.

"So...every day he visits the villages to check on people? Why?" Houyi asked arms crossed as he stood beside Shel, both of them giving Tamlin privacy to speak to his people.

"Yes. A few fae mostly ones who lost their families or struggling. The list is growing smaller everyday however thanks to his efforts." Shel explained side eyeing Houyi.

"Why? He could be doing a lot of things why waste time with stuff like this, it feels stupid." Houyi complained and turned to Shel. " Asking me to follow you lot around is stupider, I told you I'm not suited to be a courtier. I can barely learn dawn court etiquette now you want me to learn nobleman bullshit." He ranted while gestured his hands to make a point.

Shel stood like a lady and turned gracefully her leafy dress swaying beautifully as she faced Houyi. "Two reasons. Everyone in spring is important, when one person stops being cared for the court will start to collapse. That's his belief and mine." Shel said and raised two fingers at Houyi's face, "secondly, we both believe you can improve. You claim you're terrible but Tamlin believes you can help spring. You know what it's like to be both high fae and lesser fae." She explained.

"Sorry for that you two. We can head to the merchants guild now to spread the word about the second memorial." Tamlin said and walked with Shel following quickly. Houyi hesitated but followed as well but he didn't seemed pleased at all. He didn't understand why Tamlin cared so much.

Author's notes: Looks like the daemati wards are somewhat effective, Rhysand won't be peaking into Lucien's mind anytime soon but it's still a battle to resist being ordered around by him.

Lucien smiles into the kiss. Elain rolls her hips forward, adding just the slightest bit of pressure and she feels the tip of his hard cock deep inside of her. She moves back and then once again a little forward, slowly, tentatively. Nevertheless, it draws a low moan from her mate, the muscles of his strong thighs flexing as she rides him. He keeps his thrusts shallow, wanting Elain to find her pace, to find out what she likes. She squeezes her eyes shut, her lips parting with a soft moan that reverberates through Lucien. He hums lowly, letting his head fall into the crook of her neck. His hand comes up, grabbing her hips tightly, to guide her a little, fingers digging into her soft flesh. "Just like that, my lady. Just like that," he rasps into her ear, his cheek pressed against hers before he places a searing kiss to the spot right beneath her ear. Lucien’s arms wrap around Elain in a passionate embrace, holding her tightly against him while she keeps rocking her hips, riding him softly, damp skin moving against damp skin. Her own arms curl around Lucien’s neck — there is hardly any space between them, only so much that Elain can move her hips. Her breasts brush against Lucien’s pecs, his solid muscles and the fine dusting of hair doubling the pleasure when rubbing against her hard nipples. Elain moans when Lucien’s teeth sink into her lower lip, adding just a bit more pleasure. She feels him everywhere, Lucien is everywhere — in her, on her, imprinted on her mind, and heart. The noise of her moan is drowned out by Lucien’s kiss. He softs lets his tongue glide over the seam of her lips. She allows him the entrance with a little sigh. Lucien’s tongue brushes her gums before her meeting her tongue with every stroke. And just like he does to her tongue, also his soft thrusts into her match hers perfectly. They are coordinated and slow, deep, to make Elain feel every inch of his glorious length — to bring her the most pleasure. 

“Nothing feels like this.” Lucien’s lips coast from her mouth down to her jaw. “Nothing feels like you, Elain.” He kisses her jaw, lips trailing lower to her throat. With another thrust, his cock twitches inside of her, Elain’s walls squeezing around his thick length. “Nothing feels like you,” she breathes. “You are too good to me.” Her knees dig into the mattress, her hips moving a little faster — in perfect sync with Lucien. The bed groans a little, the bed frame softly knocking against the wall under their ministration. It is shortly past midnight, the single candle in the bedside table veiling the room in a beautiful yellow-ish glow. Lucien’s hands fall to her hips once again and he guides her, lifting her up until only the tip is in, then slowly, almost teasingly, letting her sink down onto his length again and sliding into the hilt. Her head falls back, eyes closing and she captures her lip between her teeth. “I need to––Gods!”

“I know.” Lucien’s thumb swipes over her hip bone. He thrusts his hips up, electing the most beautiful feminine sound from his mate’s throat. She feels how her height nears, how she clenches tighter around Lucien, how pure satisfaction comes in a huge wave. 

“Let go, my lady.” The Vanserra brother guides her, meeting her thrusts perfectly, his thumb moving to the tight bud at the apex of her thighs, pressing down and rubbing her a little. Elain tumbles over the edge, when the wave of pleasure and satisfaction washes over her. A mix of soft curses and her mate’s name tumble out of her mouth when she comes. Lucien follows her only a moment later, the muscles of his lower belly flexing and he thrusts up into her one more time. He comes with soft growl that makes goosebumps appear on Elain’s skin. His hot seed fills her, her hips languidly rolling against his. Their lips meet in a sloppy kiss, hands clawing at the other’s body when they ride out their height, not yet able to part. “You are perfect, Elain. And you are mine.”

“All yours.” Elain smiles into the kiss, her lids heavy, her eyes nevertheless sparkling brightly as she glances into her mate’s eyes. “And you are all mine.”

Lucien stared at her in shock. His usually well-guarded features open to her for the first time since the Cauldron. Elain stood in the hallway, shoulders heaving as all the anger – meticulously hidden behind sweet smiles and manicured gardens – felt intimately on display.

Guilt coursed through her as soon as she snapped at Lucien. Looking at him now, there was no denying that she had hurt him, and that had never been her goal, even from the start. He was a pleasant male. But that didn’t mean she wanted to be mated to him.

They had been on their way back from Rita’s, it having been one of the rare occasions that Elain was convinced to join her sisters, and Lucien had asked to walk her home. She had neither refused, nor had she really accepted, so she just tolerated his company on her journey home.

A few years ago she had finally decided to move into a place of her own. It was a small apartment overlooking the Sidra and it suited her fine. Feyre had seemed overjoyed that she was finally comfortable enough to be on her own and Elain was happy to let her think that, not wanting to reveal the real reason – that every night she awoke terrified and unsure whether her nightmares were visions, or fictitious. Not wanting to keep anyone awake, she decided it was best if she had a place to herself.

Her frustration grew with every passing minute alone in Lucien’s company.

“How is the new apartment?” He asked, and she really didn’t want to discuss that with him at all, she hummed,

“Nice.” She said. He gave her a small smile and she avoided his gaze.

“The Sidra is lovely to look at isn’t it. I have a view from my apartment as well, it reminds me of the lakes and rivers of home.” He tried again.

“Mhm.” Elain brushed him off, as she always did.

With a dejected look, he fell back a step. Elain let out a quiet sigh as that usual guilt crept up on her. It was habit now, to ignore him, and – stubborn as she was – it was near impossible to break it now. Not to mention humiliating.

Elain made her way up the stairs to her apartment and Lucien followed, seemingly intent on walking her all the way to the door. She bit back a growl as she fished out her keys, Lucien still waiting behind her, and unlocked the door, hoping that when she turned he would have made himself scarce. Of course, when she did, Lucien was still lingering in the doorway. This time she did growl.

“Cauldron would you just leave?” She snapped, surprising herself with the very Fae phrase that escaped her. It only served to upset her more.

“Can you not think of anything better to do than to bother me? I think I have made it perfectly clear I don’t want anything to do with you, and frankly—” and she really lost all sense of what she was saying, hands fisted in her hair and cheeks flushed, “—frankly I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last male in all of Prythian. And I refuse to be forced into it just because some-some pot told you I was Made for you!”

She breathed heavily. Lucien didn’t respond for a few, silent moments, staring at her as she tried to regain any dignity she had left. He was oddly still, even his mechanical eye that was always whirring or flickering was preternaturally still in its socket.

“Is that really how you feel, Elain?” Her name on his lips was a melody that calmed her, despite her minds wishes. “I’m not here to fuck you. I’m not here for anything. I’m just—I’m trying to be your friend.”

Elain’s breath caught in her throat and she dropped her shoulders.

“I thought I had found my mate,” Lucien continued, “years ago, before you were Made, perhaps even before you were born. She was murdered by my father whilst I was forced to watch, and since then I have given up on the chance of finding another. When you were spat from the Cauldron, I was just as confused as you were, and yes I shouldn’t have said anything, but for the first time I had the smallest glimpse of hope.” He took a shuddering breath and Elain could say nothing to comfort him.

“Elain, I would never do anything to hurt you. I will leave you alone if it’s what you truly want. But please don’t make me leave the Night Court. Feyre is my friend. Seeing you flinch every time I appear in a room you are in is killing me, even if you detest me.”

There was desperation in his eyes, in his voice, Elain could smell it in the air. A scared little boy with few friends, and no home. To force him to leave the only people he had would be a terrible thing indeed, she knew that for certain. Lucien’s eyes were trained on the floor in the way of respectful gentry. He was everything Grayson should have been all those years ago, if only she loved him as fiercely as she loved that human. A misplaced love. It wasn’t something she could think about so instead she took a small step towards him, watching his eyes flicker up in surprise.

“I’m sorry about your mate.” She said, the best she could do, whilst fiddling with the delicate bracelet around her wrist.

“She wasn’t my mate.” Lucien stated, matter-of-factly. He seemed to struggle with his words, a far cry from the polished Emissary. He wrung his hands. “Look. I can’t change the decisions the Mother has made. I don’t pretend to understand how the Cauldron works any more than you do. But I would never try to force you into anything, you forget I have as little choice as you do in this matter.”

Elain saw the eyes of a male who thought she truly hated him, and guilt settled deep in her gut.

“I don’t dislike you.” She offered.

“Then why do you refuse to look at me?” Lucien pressed.

“I’m not ready for another relationship.”

“Nor am I.” He confessed, and despite all he had said, Elain found herself surprised. “I just want us to be able to talk.” He said.

Elain loosed a breath and Lucien started turning to leave, but she stepped forward hurridly. Her arm darted out and without thinking she had grabbed his wrist,

“Lucien.” He whipped around, looking down at her hand as if her touch had branded him “I’ll put the kettle on. There are books on the coffee table, or cards. I don’t—I’m not good company. But I want to try...friends?”

Lucien’s mouth twitched upwards in a small smile.