#effortposting

it's a love that kills them, brings out the worst in both of them. dean is like a lumberjack and sam is an old growth redwood, chopped down and buried in the dirt. sam might be the taller and (arguably) stronger brother of the two but he's still dean's little puppy dog no matter how much he hates it. dean knows how to push sam's buttons and unravel him, he has that giant 6'4" man pinned to the ground and whimpering each and every time. and sam's so cute when he fights it, when he tries to be tough but still falls victim to dean's manipulation and bravado no matter how much he pretends to hate it <3

1. daily antihistamine/allergy med. try out a few of them. it takes a week of consistent use usually to reduce symptoms. store brand ones are pretty cheap. avoid Benadryl because it makes you sleepy

2. laundry detergent: use an unscented one, like tide free and clear. the scents can trigger allergies. do this especially if you get skin irritation often!!!

3. pillow covers: there are covers that go around your pillows under your pillowcase. to keep allergens/dust/pollen out of the pillow, and the ones inside inside. they are also easy to wash, so the inner pillow stays clean.

4. saline nasal spray: like you’d use for a piercing but specifically for rinsing the nasal area. arm and hammer makes some. look for “isotonic”, not “hypotonic”. use in the morning or evening by just spraying a bunch into one nostril and blowing nose very hard. it helps keep the sinuses moist and can remove allergens. this is also super useful after you throw up, makes you feel less awful

it just feels like everything i loved abt the series was sanitized and removed, and i cant even really get angry abt it bc it feels so sterile. like the thing about mages and how apparently they just are normal people now. as someone who struggles w/ mental health, including issues that make me hyperfocus and make a lot of stuff, or make me compulsive about weird random things, and then make me lethargic or annoying to everyone else, the way that mages worked in these games was so. idk. brutal but also relatable. it didnt feel like they sugarcoated the mental health issues, but it also didnt feel like they dehumanized these characters. they're all so human and we can see that they dont deserve agony or suffering or to have their minds destroyed and live w/o emotion (this in particular was affecting to me given my journey w/ psychiatric medication) but also that they need support networks, they need people to help them and hold them up and also say no sometimes and keep them from being their worst selves. but the core horror of that, of these people marginalized everywhere which just worsens their mental health issues, of these people tormented all the time by dreams they cannot control who have just accepted it, that there's nothing they can do to get better, of these people whose greatest strength is also their weakness, the core horror is just gone from DAV. it doesnt even care about it.

it also doesnt care about the injustice of the world. the thing that is so poignant about these games is that the world is not simple and that there is never a big bad. the 'big bads' that exist are there not as conventional villains you're meant to hate (nobody thought the darkspawn was a compelling villain, nor, really, demons? DA2 doesn't have a villain, really, just a bunch of sad people pushed to their limits who do horrible, horrible things bc they believe it's right), but as things that disrupt society, confront existing systems and exploit their weaknesses and demand change, or everyone will be annihilated. but in DAV, these societal weaknesses either aren't there or are distilled down to one or two bad guys from whom the whole 'evil' descends. it has villains that are gods that were worshipped for so long, and now turn out to be kinda insane and evil. this is, in my opinion, NOT the direction dragon age should go (i wish that DAI hadn't done the Solas thing, the veil should've remained intact and we should focus more on politics, on how the world rebuilds after the mage-templar war, what the qunari are doing, on small scale people's lives), but. it is what was done, and there's still a lot of potential there. Solas is a great character in DAI even if I think they should've gone in another direction. he challenges the worldviews of literally every character. so does the existence of these gods.

but the thing is that they end up not challenging anyone. the venatori, who, reminder, are human supremacist nationalists that hate the elvhen people and are extremely revanchist, side instantly with the gods the elvhen worshipped, for seemingly no reason, other than that they're Both Evil. The elvhen instantly recognize the gods are Evil and side against them. Solas is now One Guy rather than a thing that tests the boundaries of society. I'm not sure if this was because the game is rushed, or, and this is more what i suspect, the devs didnt want the players to have to confront the obvious and extremely difficult choice of potentially siding with the slavers and racists for what is, in universe, the 'greater good', even though that would be a fucking fascinating place for the game to go, especially if your Rook was elvhen. rather than examining these hate groups, or the structure of a society that builds itself on hatred and systemic injustice, the game just goes the easy route by turning their evil from something real and thus frightning due to the fact it exists in real life, can be seen in flags and posters on the roadside if you're in some parts of America, to some absolute unimpeachable evil that cannot be analyzed nor reasoned with. Imagine if they, for instance, explored Tevinter politics. a super crude version of this, which sucks and i have put little thought into, is to examine the way in which fascism and slavery upholds the social order. by positioning the elvhen below even human slaves and non mages, there's always someone lower for them to target and jeer at, and so they ignore the fact that they themselves are being fucked over by both the overarching structures at play and the people perpetrating them. instead, the game did none of these things, and did not even make the canon slavers in the canon slave country, (whose buisness of slave-trading and capture is tacitly accepted by rulers of Southern countries because even there, the elvhen are seen as second class), OWN SLAVES. We see none of this, none of the broad-scale social evils of inequality or the horrors of slavery and systemic racism, and so beyond avoiding the difficulty of having the player maybe have to temporarily side with and/or attempt to end slavery and the systems in it, *even when it affects their own people*, we just remove it all together. the relatable, realistic, *banal* evils are replaced with cackling villain laughter and dramatic designs.

the fact that we've torn apart and destroyed actual evil for the sake of replacing it with a caricature necessarily means the characters are less complex, which is fucking sad because there's so much genius on display with these character concepts. Harding's journey in particular could've been great, with her anger at the way her people have been fucked over present and past, and her either controlling it or embracing it. If you wanted to tie it back to the main story (which companion quests always sort of should thematically), you could have her realizing that the elvhen were just as fucked over by the evanuris as she and her people. Taash's quest about discovering their gender and the way that things are lost in cultural translation could've been great, if it leveraged the way the qunari work. the qunari have a very different system of gender than humans or elvhen or dwarves, though, importantly, just as restrictive. their journey could've dealt with actually integrating and synthesizing these cultures, and with breaking down both models of gender and how they fail to account for and capture the actual lived experienced of people, instead imposing a false dichotomy on them. In human countries, gender shapes work, in the qunari, work shapes one's gender. How could these equally repressive things be integrated or dealt with? Think about how cool this would've been to do ! there's so much cultural worldbuilding potential as well as the actual journey of these characters. but instead, we import a phrase from the real world that is characteristic of our present moment. historical cultures have had all sorts of different understandings of gender than our current system, not necessarily more or less restrictive (well, more restrictive if we consider the recent past in the West) but different. the identity of nonbinary is meaningfully different from that of "similar" positions in other cultures. in fact, dragon age already kind of already began to deal with this, albeit in a very-2014 way. It's just so dissapointing from both a queer perspective and a worldbuilding perspective. every quest is like this, a genius little kernel of an idea that instead of being expanded on and reshaped through the lens of the world we're in, is destroyed and made into the simplest, worst version of itself.

while we're at it, let's talk about souls. it's one thing that the enavuris exist. fine. i don't think that they needed to do that, but there were a lot of cool things that could be done with it, and i get why they made that decision, even if they didn't expand on it. but the whole thing about the enavuris is that they ARENT GODS! there are no confirmed gods in Dragon Age, and no confirmed afterlife. Remember Justinia in Inquisition and how it was a spirit that copied the imprint of her mind and personality on the fade? remember the same thing with Cole? Remember how Leilana can die and come back as a spirit that really, genuinely believes it is Leilana, but is, by the most physical of definition, 'not'? (insert metaphysics and debates about consciousness here).

The reason the fade and spirits are so damn good is because they are not as simple as an afterlife. what they are, as is clearly communicated, are impressions of reality and information. to put it another way, the fade reflects the perceptions and shapes and information about reality. the spirits that exist are not 100% truthful, and not because they're lying, but because their very existence is shaped by others beliefs. information gleaned from the fade is not 100% reliable, because how the fade looks and what happens in it can be manipulated not just by demons but by belief. There's a great bit with Solas from early in Inquisition where he talks about a battlefield that changes shape, changes events, based on whether the spirit he's talking to is closer to the losing or winning side. How damn great is that? the spirits aren't literal ghosts, but OUR CULTURAL MEMORY. the way they exist is so damn good, the way they carry on cultural traumas and beliefs. While we're at it, think about how this ties in to mages, who are tormented by spirits. They are literally tormented by cultural trauma and pain that persists even after the original victims and original perpetrators are long gone. God that's so great. What dying does is unclear, just like real life. What persists after death is your 'legacy,' warped by what other people thing of you. this ambiguity is great because whether or not an afterlife exists is unclear, but also, the 'soul' supposedly passes through the fade before dying. This system of magic, where spirits are not malevolent nor kind nor truthful, but formed by density of information and strong belief and cultural memory, is very unique. The closest thing to it is the spheres in the Witcher, and even that's different. In veilguard, souls exist and they are literally echoes of people and are 100% accurate.

The themes of Dragon Age, up to DAV, have been about cultural memory, about how beliefs impact actions impact beliefs, about (to borrow a really good comment on an early post) the truth of what religion makes us do rather than the 'truth' of what religion is. Think of how this magic system of spirits that are influenced by belief and cultural memory and raw strength of emotion that persists and impacts others even when the original person to feel those emotions is dead ties in to these themes. It's so beautiful, genuinely, even if the game does not explicitly explore it. Now think about how this all is lost when we make it so that souls explicitly exist and can be reserructed and spoken to.

Even aside from the broader themes, think about the potential that was there for the Mortalitasi. Rather than just being straightforward necromancers, if we applied old Dragon Age rules, the spirits they would summon from the corpses of people were not actually those people, but what their living relatives think of those people. How brutal and awesome and sad is that? That there is no true way to speak to the dead, only to speak to your conception of the dead. It's so beautiful, and sad, and honestly hurts my chest a bit to think about. Not only is that gone, but the concept it made way for - the existence of liches - falls way short and is in fact made actively worse by this change. So, liches are souls of mages possessing/controlling their own corpses, if I understand it right. Imagine if the 'souls' were not truly the original person, but a spriit imitating them. Not only does this make the whole thing bittersweet - it means that a person is sacrificing their life to cement a sort of constant legacy, because they are too afraid of dying without an impact of the world - but it means that a person who becomes a lich is taking this risk. Imagine if everyone hates that person, and so the new spirit that is now 'them' is an asshole. They have become, literally, the person everyone thinks they are. That's such a poignant and genius idea that is stripped away for, what? Literally just generic fantasy DND liches? It's. just. the loss is so sad. Especially since the theme of the character who has the option to turn into a lich is that of fear of death. What better way to show that fear of death ruins the way they LIVE than by making the new person not literally be them? By exchanging their life and happiness therein for a legacy? It's so beautiful and yet. gone.

the game, despite being on its own a really pretty but ultimately mediocre action RPG, feels like such an overwhelming loss because it not only destroys the world in which it is meant to be set but also because it seems to ignore the potential inherent in its own story. I am not a dragon age writer, and thank god for that, because I suck at writing, but if I was, i would've made the game more small-scale and poltiical and focus on ideology and fear and radicalism and acceptance rather than gods. TO be clear - I'm not mad that they didn't do that alternate game. I'm sad that they did this different idea, about the gods coming back, and then didn't do it well or even commit to their own idea.

and beyond that is the fact that it wants so badly to simultaneously distance itself from the previous games while also calling back all the time. the issue is that that could never be done, because the game is, inextricably, a sequel to a 2014 game that ended with a clear setup for a sequel this game expands upon. The game brings back this character from the previous game as a main villain, but because it also wants so badly to distance itself from the previous games, it makes him flatter, unreactive to the decisions and contexts of the previous games. The Solas of DAV is like the Solas of DAI immediately after waking up. The game brings back Varric despite him being in two previous games, and then proceeds to make him NOT Varric for most of the game. It brings back a companion from DA2 only to have her dress up in the worst outfit ever and not reference anything or be changed by her experiences, and then she fucks off. It has a plot inextricably tied to religion, but barely mentions Andraste or the Maker once, even in conversation among a group of casual believers, even as an exclamation. At the same time, the game is set in a nation completely different to the one of previous games, but it doesn't actually exploit that for any purpose. Rather, it destroys everything from the previous games. It makes it so the South is torn asunder, and yet our characters don't seem to care. Everyone from the previous games is implied to be dead, Hawke, maybe Cassandra, the HoF, Sera, Fenris (which is not in this game because they realized that having him here would expose the fact this game has ignored slavery entirely), Merrill, Josephine, Blackwall, Vivienne, everyone. At the same time they bring back a character from DAI who should've known these people for years, and she somehow goes on camping trips while the 6th and 7th blight destroys her home and everyone she's ever known. The game does not want to actually interact with the previous media, or the worldbuidling therein, but at the same time it must somehow remind you it is, in fact, a dragon age game, and so it must bring back and puppet around these characters and ideas just to show you they exist.

An extremely common problem with many of these things is that they're taking swings at tropes, dynamics and so forth that Big-two comics writers have been noticing and responding to in-house since the 1980s, in a way that smacks of not having as great a command of the space as you might like them to. Here's an example:

So this is from a comic I finished tonight called Minor Threats, which, if you can't tell from the text, is about a bunch of D-list supervillians who have to team up to hunt down the setting's Joker Analogue because he gave the setting's Robin the Jason Todd treatment and now the hammer is coming down unless he's caught. This entire page is, like, a distillation of a dozen different complaints about the superhero genre as a whole, ways in which it's myopic- You Can't Punch Inequality, Who's Cleaning Up After This, Only Named Characters Matter-but the thing is that towards the bottom of the page I was kind of mouthing along. Because these are old complaints, right, and nobody writes mainstream cape comics without these criticisms in mind.

I want to hone in on the Kaiju bit in particular. It makes for a fun worldbuilding beat, the idea that they built slums over and around the body of a slain kaiju that the heroes couldn't be bothered to move. And there was a point in the history of comics where "wait, who moves the dead Kaiju" would have been a salient question to bring up, where it was a genuine blind spot in the fiction. You know what happened? Damage Control happened. No Mans Land Happened. Stock beats of the heroes sticking around to help clean up happened. "Superheroes don't clean up after themselves" hasn't been a fair cop for literally decades now. Rinse and repeat with the other complaints- maybe the nature of the fiction is such that you're never going to be able to fully address those things, but efforts are consistently being made.

Could be about picking the topic but a step by step thingy helps , actually anything helps!

Oo fun, I'd love to help!

The thing about mathematical research is that the scientific process is a biiiiit different from other diciplines. This is because, unlike other exact fields like physics or biology, or social fields like psychology (many social sciences perform research in a very exact-sciences-manner!), mathematics is actually a formal science. Formal sciences are things like maths, compsci and logic, where the truth isn't dependent on the real world, so all that is left is to follow your reasoning until you discover something. That means that maths research usually doesn't have research questions or hypotheses, and papers usually don't have method, discussion or conclusion sections.

In maths, the general scientific process looks like this:

Decide on a topic you think is cool. Can be anything maths-related, or maybe just something you want to do maths to.

Think about your target audience. This might seem a bit of a silly step, but a paper aimed at high schoolers looks completely different compared to a paper aimed at experts. I recommend that you are at least as advanced in maths as the target audience you pick.

The most fun part: explore! What about your topic do you want to understand? How can you apply the tools you already have? If you have a formula or expression, what can you find by just fucking around with it?

Next up, dive into the literature. Books, papers, wikipedia, your teachers, anything. What have others written about this topic? What knowledge do you lack? Do you understand what they are saying? If not, what literature do you need to do so?

Repeat step 3 and 4 as much as you like, since you might want to completely overhaul your research based on the literature you find.

Once you find a definitive research goal, it is time to do your own work. This goal can be a lot of different things: for example, you might want to (dis)prove your own conjecture, gather several relevant theorems that you think are related, prove an existing theorem in a new way, apply the knowledge you found to your own topic, or even just write out an existing proof in a way that your audience would understand it. There's a lot of options!

As for picking a topic, there is just so much out there. I have done my own research three times now, and all of them were completely different. This post is getting long so I'll put these under the cut for inspiration!

Working on Rose Lotus I realised I wanted a really solid random character generator, and I wanted to have a way of generating backgrounds! When people start to flesh out their character's backstory, it's the first point people go to. I wanted something good. I think I found it! In short, I cannot recommend Wikipedia's "List of Fictional Characters by Job Occupation" enough. It is a brilliant resource for this. You can see what tropes are most common in fiction really easily. Wikipedia my beloved.