#eeeekk

i’m reading a book called hooked (by asako yuzuki) and it’s the perfect angsty codependent friendship fiction i’ve been looking for. i’m 7 chapters in and rlly loving the suffocating tension of secret distaste they have for one another. both of them are helpless personalities and i love love love when that’s the challenge of a relationship, especially platonic!!! i mean there’s some very light insinuation of something deeper going on, but it’s strictly emotional not exactly romantic (slightly romantic motifs for the n*rmal audience to understand their tension). they are a toxic qpr in a way.. i do love them very much and wanna give a proper book review once im done. lots of foreshadowing to them being catastrophically destructive to one another’s ecosystems!!

I know this isn't very girling pop feminism of me but getting essentially free drugs from dates is such a perk like thank you so much for giving me that and I just have to give you a big kiss? Amazing.

bdsm can honestly be sooo embarrassing sometimes. aw really? you find it cathartic to be told you're a failure, but it's ok because i'll punish you and train you in a way that is visceral and wholly physical, and i will teach you how to be good for me? you find that relaxing and even comforting? wow... who could have guessed!! never saw that coming!! i'm sure that says nothing about you as a person!! you don't feel like a constant fuck up in your real life, not at all!!