#drmike

Today is my first day back at work since I lost my favorite patient. Her name was Lily and she was 5. She had terminal brain cancer which caused her to lose her hair. Her favorite little “lucky charm” was this bear with a pink bow and she’d hold it real tight when she fell asleep.

I’ve been holding up well just keeping myself busy. I haven’t cried or anything but I’m a big girl there’s no need to cry. I looked at Lily like she was my own so I was very heartbroken to say the least. The sweetest girl on the planet.

....

I walk through the familiar double doors with my hands jammed in the pockets of my scrubs. I’m overwhelmed by greetings and questions of “are you ok” by my coworkers. I smile and hug them. Then I see him. A dashing smile on his face. My secret boyfriend Mike. 

I go over and hug him just listening to his heartbeat. 

“Are you ok?”

“Why does everyone keep asking that” I ask “I’m perfectly fine” I assure them. They nod and get back to work.

Mike pulls me away.

“You sure?” He asks

“Yes” I nod.

“Alright call me if you need me” he kisses my lips in a sweet kiss. I smile when he releases me from his strong grip and he kisses my head before leaving but not without some sort of contact to my ass. This time is was a slightly stinging slap. 

“Really”

“I have to touch it at least twice a day or I won’t make it” he smiles winking then leaving.

My pager buzzed and that means I’m on the clock. 

....

Today was stress upon stress upon stress. My feet hurt, my back hurts and I probably look like a reptile from running around so much. I’m just glad it’s the end of the day.

“Hey Y/N can you go in room 113 and grab my pager I left in there after I was cleaning” my friend Rodney says. I hesitate because that was Lily’s room. I nod and go into the elevator.

The door opens and I walk out and head right. I see Mike and a few other coworkers talking. He smiles at me and I return the favor with a weak smile. 

I walk to the closed door of room 113 and just stare at it.

“No ones in there” someone yells. I look back and nod smiling. I extend my hand and open the door. I look around and go in the drawer seeing the pager. I grab it but then I see a bear. I pick it up and all of a sudden a rush of anger heats my body. I charge outside holding the bear.

“Who did this?” I see Rodney up there talking with Mike. Everyone looks at me confused. 

“Who the fuck would do this? Was it you Rodney?”

“I didn’t know that was there” 

“Bullshit” my voice cracks at the end and I look at it

“Y/N are you ok?” Mike asks. I throw the bear at the floor and lean my body on the wall. I hold my head in my hands and begin sobbing. I slide down the wall and hear footsteps coming closer. 

“I just want her back” I sob. Strong arms lift me up and I smell the familiar scent of Tom Ford. “I told her she’d live a good life and she’d be ok” I sob 

“I know babe” he says in my ear kissing my head. Everyone rubs my back as I sit there.

“She didn’t deserve that” Mike wipes under my eyes collecting tears.

“I know but she’s happier and she’s not in anymore pain. Please don’t cry I don’t like seeing you like this”

“Can I have the bear back please? I’m keeping it”

“Don’t you think her parents would want it?” Rodney asks

“Yea if they didn’t fall off the face of the earth. None of their numbers work when I tried called to check up on them” I say sniffling. He hands me the bear and all the memories come back.

Mike wraps his arm around me and we just stand there.

“What if this happens again”