#driving headcanons

We know Copia can drive, and so can Terzo... Sort of. He got his driver's licence when he died the first time.

Perpetua is the only papa that can't drive, but he's a great passenger person. He'd give the driver food and drinks. He gives instructions and he tells the person with aux whether the songs they chose were absolute shit. He has a basic understanding but don't let him drive

Now Phantom, Phantom's different. Phantom can drive but he chooses not to. They did get their driving licence but he sorta thought of it as a side quest or something. He knows it's important, but they'll only drive when absolutely necessary.

Don't under ANY circumstances let Mountain drive. If someone hits an animal, HE WILL check on it. If HE hits an animal, HE WILL mourn the loss. He's also like one of those goats that falls over when scared. The ghouls think it's funny when not on the road but if he goes over a pothole, he will freeze and probably steer off the road, same if he sees a deer.

Ironically sort of, Cirrus can't drive. She doesn't have a clue what to do. She wouldn't know how to indicate, but Cumulus does. Cumulus was the one that would drive them to their date destinations. Cirrus would pay for the meals in return.

Swiss is kind of like Secondo. He'd kick back and be lazy sometimes, but, like Cumulus,he'd drive his dates to the restaurant. He's driven to many musical places for Aurora and Dew (I think I've said this but Dew's obsessed with Beetlejuice)

These have mainly been thought up on the spot. I don't really have any other insights. I mean, Chain is sorta like Perpetua but only when Primo's driving.

• He’s never having a good time, when he’s in a car.

• But when he’s in the car, he’s driving. He won’t even indulge any backtalk, he’s driving the car and that’s final.

• It makes him feel, as if he can control the fate of everyone in the car.

• There will be no music playing in the car, nor will there be any loud talk. If you dare start an argument, he will give you a warning glare through the mirror. If you ignore it, he will pull over and start yelling at you.

• He drives carefully and slowly, much to the dismay of a couple of La Squadra members (Prosciutto and Ghiaccio especially).

• He gets road rage but internalises it. You’ll just see his face darken more and more. The reason he gets road rage is due to other peoples reckless driving. He doesn’t honk, doesn’t swear, he just simmers internally.

• That is until you are confronted with a drunk driver. Then he starts angrily mumbling profanities under his breath.

• He has once watched a drunk driver pull over at the gas station and followed them there. No one in La Squadra questioned him as he got out, followed the driver to the bathroom and then returned with blood on his hands. None dared, due to the dangerous look on his face.

• If he had a sip of something alcoholic, he’s taking public transport.

• If he relapses, La Squadra is forced to take public transportation when on a mission with him. Have you ever seen assassins on a bus? Yeah, no. It looks ridiculous.

Unbeknownst to La Squadra, all of these behaviours stem from his cousin’s death.

• He’s not having a fun time, because he was in the car with his cousin.

• His cousin was driving and swerved in the last moment, so the drunk driver, who had come out of nowhere, hit only him and not a younger Risotto too. Risotto wants to be the only casualty, should an accident happen.

• He couldn’t control fate then, but now he maybe can.

• He needs to remain alert. While his cousin was a very safe driver and would never have gotten into an accident, Risotto wants to make extra sure he and anyone else in the car is safe. Risotto feels that hyper vigilance can save him, even from an act of human stupidity. Should you disrupt his concentration, you endanger yourself and everyone in the car.

• He’s in constant survival mode once he enters the car.

• Reckless drivers endanger other people’s lives. He cannot handle the thought that one of these drivers might kill someone like his cousin. But a honk might jump-scare other drivers and cause an accident anyway. Also swearing never solved anything.

• If you get drunk and get behind a wheel, you have no respect for human lives and in Risotto’s eyes, you are the same bastard who murdered his cousin.

Wei Wuxian:

drives kinda wild

would drive any kind of car but loves convertibles and Jeeps

Wei wuxian blasts music and sings at the top of his lungs

He's reckless but somehow manages to avoid everyone on the road, so it's fine?

He's most reckless when he's driving alone.

Lan Wangji:

very professional, textbook driver.

Keeps his hands in the 10 to 2 position, as you're taught and doesn't move them an inch.

Lan Wangji sits in silence or has soft classical music playing... sometimes music with flutes... (subtle, isn't he?)

To him, driving is a huge responsibility.

He drives the exact speed limit, how is that even possible??

Jiang Cheng:

has road rage

would probably roll down the window just to flip someone off.

Otherwise, he's pretty by the book and pleasant to drive with

Jiang doesn't listen to music, maybe the radio for the news. Or if he's with company, maybe he'll let them pick the music. But the first time he hears something he doesn't want to, it's back to silence.

Jin Ling:

Prefers to walk with Fairy when he can, but as for long distances... this baby is just learning how to drive.

Scared af, hits his brakes every second.

Uncle Cheng is scary when teaching him, but even scarier when someone cuts Jin Ling off

Jin Ling would soon take after his uncle a bit and yell at them when someone cuts him off, but is quieter. Also does a tiny flip off through the rearview mirror, not bold enough to roll down his window and actually confront the person. Only bold enough to grumble to himself about it and complain to his friends (let him have friends)

Jin Ling listens to music he thinks makes him look cool but actually makes him look baby.

Wen Ning:

probably scared too, like Jin Ling

drives slower than the speed limit.

Unlike Jin Ling, Wen Ning will always be gentle and polite, letting everyone pass him even if he'll be late to his destination.

He plays very soft music and bops gently.

Jiang Yanli:

perfect, beautiful, if anyone honks at her then expect wei wuxian and jiang chang to chase them off the road, (and they were only honking because she was hot)

she probably taught wei wuxian and jiang cheng how to drive

Lan Xichen:

goes with the flow of traffic but is almost always within the legal limit, (so 5 below, 5 above speed limit).

Is very courteous and tends to make the right action in every situation.

probably taught Lan Wangji. Their Uncle gave them both lessons, but Wangji learned a little more with Xichen who was a little more patient.

Nie Huaisang:

just not good.

Nie is the car everyone passes and cusses out to themselves.

Sometimes they cuss him out to his face. Jiang is probably guilty of it.

Nie probably cuts people off on accident, just trying his best

Should probably stay the passenger prince

Wen Qing:

amazing driver, but can get a little pissed when someone is blatantly in the wrong

Taught Wen Ning how to drive

Ivan drives the smallest car. Alfred thinks it a joke. But no. He has them both squeeze into, like, a VW bug or one of those little electric ones.

He also drives so incredibly recklessly. Alfred finds it terrifying. And every time that Alfred swear, screams, or steadies himself Ivan rolls his eyes.

He's always saying "this is legal in Russia" every time he does something crazy. (He's lying.)

Alfred will get out of the car, and Matthew will make fun of how dramatic he is about it.

Alfred will be like "I've never seen driving so horrible!" And Matthew will say, "you absolutely deserve this."

Because Matthew is used to his brother's reckless driving. To which Alfred is like "I've never killed us!" And Matthew responds "you're not dead are you?"

This one was fun 🧐, mostly because I had to imagine any of them driving anywhere under any circumstance.

Ralf/Robert: ALWAYS thinks the traffic is bad. Bumper to bumper? Terrible traffic. 3 cars on the road? Terrible traffic. 3 cards on the road going the OTHER direction? Dear God, no. Always leaves for everywhere at least an hour earlier than he needs to if he is driving because THE TRAFFIC, OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN IT? GEEZE LOUISE, OLIVIER, GET IN THE CAR.

Giancarlo/Enrique: ALWAYS taps the rear bumper of the car in front of him all the time in any situation. Gas station, red light, traffic jam. Oh, you liked that bumper? Woopsie. Oh, that's a rental that you need to return? My bad, dude. Does not do it on purpose. Just....does...it.

Oliver/Olivier: Will NOT turn left. Absolutely not. Turning IN to the traffic? Are you out of your mind? Will turn right eternally.

"We're taking the SCENIC route you UNCULTURED city folk."

"And no, Robert, I will NOT get in the car, especially if you're TURNING LEFT in this GOD FORSAKEN TRAFFIC that you keep talking about."

Johnny: SO many speeding tickets. Probably because Olivier won't hecking turn left, for the love of God, they have PLACES TO BE.

Fiddler and Wizard do not drive very well.

Black Adam wish to learn to drive but, like, what for? Lmao

Sebastian and Felix Faust drive so good! One drives fast and with agility, although he prefers motorcycle. Felix rarely drives fast but always very safely – he knows what do to in every situation and car seems to glide when he's driving.

Adam is not a good driver. It’s very stressful. 

Flora will forget to signal turns, so. 

Brooke is a good driver except when she’s dealing with NYC traffic and then she gets into the third category, which is why she doesn’t drive in NYC. 

Sam is a good driver (if slightly aggressive) but roads in Massachusetts are such hellscapes that it makes her seem like a bad one. 

look, Montana didn’t have speed limits until a few years back. Helena definitely flies planes better than she drives

Tyler is a pretty good driver

Nicky is a weird but not necessarily a bad driver

Ginny’s a good driver because she’s a control freak

Emily’s a good driver. She doesn’t curse or flip other people off she just gets super annoyed

Cait’s a good driver

Kit has one of those ‘baby on board’ stickers except Anna crossed out baby and wrote dogs and Kit tried to take it off but it started ripping apart and fucking up the paint so he gave up

Austin’s an okay driver. Nothing to write home about. 

Nate’s okay. He doesn’t really like driving, but he isn’t horrible. 

Eli usually manages to talk Marisol out of driving, and very few people ever ride with her. 

I'm back on my BS and in a mood so here is round 4 of my headcannons for this ship.

I am pulling my prompts from here.

Parts 1, 2, and 3 can be found on my main blog but I'll be posting the rest here from now on!

(Ps- I'm on mobile. No read more for now until I can get to a computer.)