The champion of Magic is the go to guy in the magic community for ✨mystical mishaps✨
a.k.a.: when someone messes up so bad it’s not even funny, but it’s okay because we just need to call Dad—I MEAN Billy.
I’m imagining Billy just having a great day off for the first time in…well, a long time. Look at him, prioritizing himself for once! Mary would be so proud!
Of course, the day’s plans get thrown out the window when he gets a call from Felix fucking Faust who opened a portal to the Underworld, and surprise, surprise, Hades is less than pleased. So now, Billy has to bargain for Faust’s release(even though he kinda doesn’t want to) by spending the whole day with Hades and Persephone. Which, hey, not the worst godly couple. But keeping to the whims of gods was always so draining.
Which is why after that horrible day is over, Billy forces Faust to only use the potion ingredients he has in his lair for the next two weeks. No more going on spontaneous safaris, young man!
Or, wouldn’t ya know it, Constantine bet yet another piece of his soul for a stupid game of poker. He lost it, of course, but then he wins the next game, and wins it back. Problem is, the demon he played against doesn’t want to give it back.
Cool, he’s calling the Champion now,
Billy isn’t happy. The bar smells like bar. John smells like John. These demons smell like how he imagines Blaze would smell if she didn’t have demon care products because he knows damn well that his kind-of-sister-kind-of-aunt knows hygiene.
All he really has to do is intimidate the demons with his divine lightning and remind them that John won back his piece of his soul fair and square(he didn’t, but Billy’s not about to prolong this visit).
Fortunately, the demons take the hint and give the soul piece back to John, and both of them get the fuck outta there. Billy almost thinks to punish John by blocking pub access for a week, but that’s not going to work because John’s blood is made of liquor at this point.
All in a day’s work for the Champion!
