#drawing problems

It means a lot to me

People used to tell me that my drawings were worthless

I often feel like I’m a bad artist, because people my age usually draw so much better

Half a year ago, one of the reasons I quit all social media was because I felt ashamed of my art skills

I’m trying to get better at drawing, but I just can’t seem to improve

I want to learn

I want to go to an art school or college

But I don’t have the money

I just wish someone would believe in me, see my potential, and take me as a student

I feel lonely in my desire to create

Every project I’ve started ended before it could really begin

I don’t have enough strength or skill

Honestly, sometimes I feel like giving up

But I’m not done yet

If my fate is to work as a cashier, I’ll try to delay it as long as I can

The next chapter of the AU will be posted soon

I've redrawn this sketch several times. I didn't have enough plasticity in the poses of the characters, I didn't like the proportions, everything seemed somehow crooked. And so I came to a more or less satisfactory option. Nancy's left jacket is also a little confusing, and need to draw the hands of the right one well, but this sketch is no longer annoying. Win✨

since half of them are tropical, the jungle was spinning in my head , at first the team should have been called Rainfalls. I later abandoned this idea. I turned over the S because it looked better that way. 😅

This is what the arena would look like. A rocky area with lots of bridges, sharp rocks, and long staircases

When you spend hours drawing and you ruin and smudge the paper…

Scar's lore ISN'T FINISHED! there's so many things I didn't show yet or DIDN'T EVEN DO THE CHARACTER DESIGNS AND STORIES,and it gets worse for him,and later his story works with more serious and sensitive topics I DON'T KNOW I CAN EVEN SHOW,and I like showing these type of things raw and serious,not sugar coated but show it with respect and not as graphic but didn't take its seriousness away,I really wanna turn his family into a cult or have something to do with local cults, Sergey's story isn't done yet,I have a love hate relationship with the Zolotov brothers bc I FUCKING HATE their backstory,it feels like shock value in some places or some shit, I'm edgy but doesn't wanna use these type of topics as shock value and their stories sometimes based on ME and my experiences/traumas,so idk I have so many unfinished projects with Scar and Sergey but I'm so FUCKING TIRED of drawing them,I can't draw Wheezy,I physically CAN'T

AND THERE'S THAT FUCKASS COWBOY MAN!

I hate hate HATE his backstory,omg it's so boring and complicated but I'm NOT gonna rewrite it bc I'm too deep into it, I'm fighting the urge to make something about cults or work with imbreeds and maybe cannibals or something darker topics,I wanna make the atmosphere dark,work with topics that are real and serious,political things,civil war,racism,cults ect. Not just in Chip's lore but everyone's lore,to work with similar but sometimes different things and issues people have

But I need to research these topics and ofc I HAVE TO WORK IN THE FUCKASS 30s (I think 30s, correct meg if I'm wrong)and I have to research the issues,norms of this time and ofc the country fucking bitchass cowboys and mafia shit bc I'm DUMB ASSFUCK

And Chip's lore is EXHAUSTING BC IT HAS SO MANY CHARACTERS IN IT,like in Mango's lore BUT in Mangee’s lore not ALL character is present in the same time but IM CHIP'S LORE ALL THE FUCKING FAMILY MEMBERS ARE TOGETHER IN ALMOST EVERY TIMEEEE

AND not to mention that BUCK is the only one who has a character!not character traits….FULLY DEVELOPED CHARACTER,ISSUES AND END the others are HOLLOW and BORING maybe Jesse but she's not fully written yet and I don't even know WHAT I WANNA DO WITH CHIP'S CHARACTER

he's the most confusing character I have,idk if I wanna turn him into an asshole (BC IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S ONE!)or give his more cheerful and sympathetic, charismatic,flirty personality back, he's more complicated Than the others btw bc he feels like he has an arc and actually goes somewhere and has character development NOT LIKE THE OTHERS,but Still his character ALWAYS CHANGES,HIS PERSONALITY CHANGES AND ALL AND I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HIM AND HIS BS

And not to mention that I have NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO SHOW THEIR ROLE

I'm not a good artist,I can't draw backgrounds,poses or make good looking,complete,good written comics either AND I'M A SHITTY WRITER TOO!and I don't wanna write their whole story down bc I think it's not gonna look good,have a big impact and I'M A BAD WRITER,I can't write fan fics or anything that good especially with my shitty grammar,and I wanna make something similar like what I did with Scar,write and draw,show and tell,I made concepts for chip too but its kinda old and the characters had redesigns too and I have a comic with Chip's older design that isn't done yet but his design changed and IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT NOW (the comic not the character)so idk,I have ideas how I wanna show Rum's and Mango's lore,I think I'm gonna show them slowly in videos and post by post and I'm mainly gonna talk about Mango's family and Rum's drug dealer past

I'm gonna post the parents first and make posts about the siblings bc I like to show them and make people like them before I kill them off or kill someone off,my main problem is still Chip bc I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH HIM,WHY,WHEN AND HOW SO FUCK YOU BETTIGAN FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHIT!!!!!!!!

And my favorite movies and series are my main inspirations,like in Chip's lore I wanted to mix-(bone tomahawk,Rango,hills have eyes,red dead redemption) and the others are the same,I work from different medias but like I said I'm terrible at everything so for me It's fucking hard to show it,draw it and write it so Yeah fuck My life and my talentless ass ig🫩