Top Posts Tagged with #double binds

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#double binds #double standards #gender inequality #mood disorders #gender roles #toxic positivity #feminist memes #scott lynch

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Do you know anything about people used as "fodder" for programming other systems?

Yes, sometimes people are used as targets, ‘practice’ or other means for programming an individual.

It’s typically done in double binds.

Oz

#answers to questions #Fodder #double binds #TBMC

Gender roles in my childhood were very strict but perhaps one of the most annoying things for me was that I never felt like I was quite allowed fill the role I was given, even though I really wanted to.

Being feminine was punished just as much as it was required. Like, I was expected to be pretty and to be sexy and to be sweet, but I wasn’t allowed. It was viewed as weakness and promiscuity and pride, and that was really confusing.

I have a vivid memory of my sister being told “Women have such pretty, soft hands” which was followed not an hour later by “are you too stuck up to get some callouses and stack firewood?”

The same scenario played out all the time about clothes, about hobbies, about how loud or quiet we should talk, how we should sit, if we should talk to people in public, etc. etc. etc.

Like what do you want?? I will do it, but I don’t know what you want!!! It made me want to be invisible.

#double binds #gender roles #ex cult #anyway I’m gonna slather myself in glitter now

One for the Fuck of It. Two for Flinching. Three for Flinching. Four for Flinching. Five...

There are people who lash out and hurt others merely for the ‘crime’ of having already been hurt by them. The result is a feedback loop that is always most damaging to those who think the most of them.

It’s obvious (and also an REM lyric) that everybody hurts sometimes. Indeed, everybody hurts sometimes in both senses: in the sense that everybody hurts others sometimes, and in the sense that everybody gets hurt sometimes. Additionally, it’s roughly the case that everybody hurts even their friends and loved ones sometimes, and that everybody gets hurt by their friends and loved ones sometimes, even if only by accident, or to a relatively minor extent.

So what does this mean, if you’re one of those people who tends to add insult to injury, i.e. one of those who tends to hurt others merely because they’ve already been hurt by you? It means that no matter what kind of relationship you’re in, it is simply inevitable that you will hurt the other person to some extent, at some stage—and so it is inevitable that your feedback loop of insults and injuries will eventually kick off. In turn, for every person who makes the mistake of caring about you, or holding you in high regard, it’s inevitable that you’ll drive that person away and/or cause serious harm to her, and in the process warp her once-tender feelings for you into the bitterest examples of fear, anger, and resentment. Most tragically, it’s inevitable that you’ll do this in proportion to the amount that this other person cares about you, and in proportion to the height of the regard in which she holds you. Because these things are also proportionate to her capacity to be hurt by you.