#ditw

He's so excited about the fact that he gained new friends, so hopeful and thrilled with this new turn of events. But he can't help but worry about his mother's reaction once she finds out what he did to Lev.

What if she gets angry?

Or worse, what if she takes him away from here? From the place he found happiness and company after months (or years) of loneliness and melancholy.

This shows to me an extensive anxiety and fear of the prospect of losing everything (again). Losing his friends, his home and his hope. He's so desperate to grab and hold tight this new opportunity that he gets intimidated by his thoughts of his mother and her anger.

Imagine hating your fake name but then growing fond of it because it sounds so good coming from someone you like.

So let's get down some notes 📝

- He doesn't like northern food

- He doesn't like onions

So he probably doesn't like cold foods (cold soups, for example) and bitter ones either.

This is so sad. No one had ever asked him what he liked to eat best. Not even his mother😭

She probably shoved any food under his nose, said "Eat it" and that's it.

Not that I expected for them to eat luxuriously but, man, they've travelled in all those places. Passed in front of many markets. Hadn't she ever thought "Hey, what do you like most from these?"

(also both me and Aleksander having a sweet tooth like 🤝)

He wants to tell those things.

"Oh yeah, I tried that cake once. It was awesome!"

"Those candies were *chef's kiss*"

But he can't. His mother's instructions are clear. "Don't talk about our travels, what we've seen and done. Lie about your life."

So he lies and he only reveals the truth by talking to himself internally. 🥲

In a nutshell:

Eryk: "I like everything"

Eryk internally: *gives a vivid description of a cake he once ate and an accurate number of how many cherries were on top. also starts remembering those dope candies he once ate in Shu and fell in love with*

Would love to gift him ten boxes of those Shu candies but I think he would be capable of eating them all in a day and then would lie on the couch and suffer from a stomachache or something 😭

One of the best quotes in the whole Grishaverse, if you ask me.

His love for bright, vivid colors contrasts the nature of his power and it's something beautiful and telling of his character.

"Deep blue like the True Sea" = Etherealki keftas

"Red like the roofs of the Shu temples" = Corporalki keftas

"The pure, buttery color of sunlight - not really yellow or gold, what would you call it?"

Alina. It's Alina, Aleksander.

Alina was his favorite color. His light and his favorite shade of yellow.

He was destined to fall in love with her and her power never scared him. Never made him leave or turn away. Because it reminded him of his favorite color and she represented it.

(so even though he could dress himself in vibrant yellow cloaks he chose black basically for the aesthetic and image)

Eryk: "Wait. That's awesome!"

"Do you want to tell me?"

PROTECT THAT BABY AND HIS KINDNESS FROM THE CRUEL WORLD

"My father is dust. You all are."

Baghra when I find you.....🙂🔪

He has already made his decision to stick with her instead of that bully. As a child he wasn't attracted to power or strength, but to compassion and kindness.

But he still has that insecurity that his mother will take him away.

(BAGHRA LEAVE HIM ALONE FFS!!!)

Random. But somewhere down the line after this passage, Eryk thinks "I'll have to tell her. What happened with Annika. That she knows I'm an amplifier".

And that shows me that his mother doesn't allow him to keep any secrets from her.

He could say "I'm not going to tell her anything. If I do she'll drag me away again. So no."

But he sounds like he has no choice. He HAS to tell her. So she's very strict with him in that aspect too and has him say everything to her.

He wants to belong. He hopes he will. Instead of travelling here and there, without any fixed destination.

"maybe even friends" HE'S SO SCARED TO HOPE FOR THIS 😭

"And friends went on adventures. They broke rules together"

He wants this SOO much!! To taste it and see how it's like. To behave like the child he is and be mischievous and carefree. To break his mother's rules ('cause he wants that too).

Just like he said in S&B: "The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak."

He wanted to have friends and play, gave in to that desire and eventually it compromised his safety. Therefore, made him weak and vulnerable.