#distorted self image

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An official title or college degree is not necessarily a good thing. It is, by default a reason to double check the holder. Then check them again. It’s a fact of life that many of the officials, officers, and scholars holding titles fail to fill, honor or understand their roles as leading, responsible individuals. Maybe worse, the majority use their titles to claim personal privileges that have absolutely nothing, to do with their special education or ability. A standard rank, title or degree does not make anyone a more able, or more trustworthy, or more likable human being. Neither does it justify more respect, nor a more carefree way of allowing them into your life. If you want to be fair with a holder, but also want to be safe, simply ignore their title. Do not let it become a factor in how you think or feel about them. This is also a good way to find out how much a holder depends on their title, to make up for a lack of genuine ability and self-assurance. If they become insecure, cagey or aggressive without you mentioning or acknowledging the title, it’s never a good sign. In that case best take care, keep your distance, and move on.

I cant picture myself clearly anymore. Idk when it started. When i think about myself in a situation, my eyes are big cartoon eyes. Not funny tho. They're tired. Black circles around them. I dont feel real. Sometimes when i imagine myself, its like some experimental music video where someone took every cartoon/animation style and smashed it into one body, and they keep switching around. I can imagine being some mystical animal better than just..me. I dont get it. I cant think straight anymore...