巫女 …miko.

目 • I . C A N . S E E . R I G H T . T H R O U G H . Y O U R . B R A V A D O • 目 • A N D . I . C A N . F R E E . Y O U . F R O M . T H A T . G H O S T • 目 • Y E S . I . C A N . S E E . Y O U • 目 • R I G H T . B E H I N D . Y O U R . S H A D O W • 目

YOU. LOSE. Sorry to break it to you… and Boss: you look like a proper charlie.

Oh-oh-oh… the tragic unintended comedy. How oh-so-bittersweet an irony! The Great Chelicerate, the extra-buff boss-monster in Subnautica: Below Zero, is shamefully bested by a woman in a comfortable, form-fitting water filtration suit, armed with nothing but a modest multipurpose knife, sitting in a clunky subnautic ATV called a Prawn Suit. How sublimely confident in yourself do you have to be, Great Chelicerate or otherwise, to allow yourself being tempted to eyeball, follow and stalk someone who’s not even thinking of picking trouble with you? How over-trusting in your own abilities do you have to be, to keep coming in reach of a resourceful woman with her hands on two hydraulic Prawn Suit arms, stubby things meant for mining ore, picking up salvage, and moving bulky stuff around?

But hands down, this is the fact we're looking at, and it’s a classic, nay, a truly antique scenario. I keep poking the Great Boss with stubby utility hydraulics for a minimum of one hundred solid times, not because this is inevitable but because the Great Boss keeps giving me a chance to do so. And the Great Boss actually dies in the attempt of having more stub-hydraulic, pokey-womanly backlash abuse. Since ancient times there have been people and creatures that overconfident, that aggressive and that foolish, much like the Great Chelicerate; and i can and will confirm from purrsonal experience that this kind of violent, unintended comedy is not by any means limited to a game like Subnautica: Below Zero.

Q.E.D. — being endgame-oversized, tough, strong and healthy won’t make you invulnerable. Being fast and agile, elegant and ferally handsome won’t make you irresistible. Even your overconfidence, your aggressive bravado and your predatory intelligence will not save you from your own foolishness. All these priceless qualities of yours are worth oh-so-little if you’re incapable of learning from your mistakes, if you can’t move on from things that simply will not go your way, and if you’re unwilling to respect someone who refuses to come around and play by your rules.

It truly is a valuable life lesson for everyone… that is, it could be. Regrettably, specimen the likes of the Great Chelicerate do not care about a life lesson, nor do they recognize it when it presents itself. Even if they do recognize the lesson, they will refuse to learn from it, mostly out of sheer blinkered, grandiosely deluded arrogance. Instead they rely on the false safety of their overblown self-image and their blanket underestimation of others, and they just keep trying to bulldoze-bully their way through their environment, blundering right past everybody’s problems including their own, charging headlong into everything and everyone in their way.