#disagreements

Like, yes, some people can stay calm and objective even in the face of being refuted out of nowhere. And some people will pick a fight and start screaming at someone they know disagrees with them, but that's often so CALCULATED. Whereas some of my most jarring, gutplunging, emotional moments can be linked back to a moment when a person I thought agreed or at least understood me is suddenly revealed to have a completely different opinion. I can calmly enter into a debate with someone and mostly manage my confrontation anxiety, but cut me off midstatement during a regular conversation with the bombshell that you disagree entirely, and I might feel like the very foundation of my soul just got kicked an inch to the left.

(Disclaimer: Naturally, the effect of such surprise disagreement is usually influenced by how seriously I take the topic. I might feel awkward about having someone refute my fan theory about a movie character, but it'll pass, whereas unexpected strong disapproval during a discussion on a serious topic can be devastating.)

Maybe this is related to my being a people-pleaser and probably a touch of that rejection sensitivity dysphoria, but I feel like it's somewhat more common for heated fights to be spawned by sudden and unexpected disagreement than by people wanting to have a genuine debate. I think that's one reason it's so important, when discussing serious/controversial topics (ESPEXIALLY online), to be resolved in your own mind that you will stay calm and respect the other person no matter much you disagree.

Anyhoo thats probably enough rambling for 3:30 a.m. :) What do you guys think? Is this common, or do you have a different perspective on the matter? (And don't worry, I'm thankfully not in any such situations rn; this just came to mind while reading a Humans As Space Orcs post, of all things XD)

I feel like this is a dangerous question to answer. I hope my answer doesn't offend, my thoughts are kind of strong on this.

Mostly it's the thing with his mother.

There is zero mention of Lily having a career while she was with Gordan, so I assume she was a stay at home mom. Which makes sense with a dad who is on the road, two kids who have school and activities.

There is zero indication that Gordan was unfaithful. He loved his wife and his sons, but he also loved his career (Sound like someone?). So while he was out making money to take care of his family, yes, on the road, Lily cheated on him.

It wasn't like she and the boys weren't being thought of. If she's lying here, that's only worse. I wouldn't put it past her.

You'll always be there for me?

When you thought you had more stance as the cheating ex-wife; the mother who ruined my childhood; and spoke at my dad's funeral when you knew I didn't even want you here?

When you asked me to carry the weight of my family falling apart?

When you expected me to be okay with it?

When you justified that trauma?

When you bring the man, you ruined your family with to my dad's funeral.

When you stand your ground while I'm in pain and continue to justify it?

And then you tell me I shouldn't have been angry.

The fact the writers had all this, then did this..

No. Just no. I'm giving Harvey props for even going to the funeral at all. She repeatedly showed she didn't care about anyone but herself.

Then the bullshit with Faye. I can't even gif that out. That would be every time her and Harvey interacted. Harvey could have and should gotten rid of her a long time ago. Yeah they would have gotten someone else, but maybe not someone with a gun pointed at Harvey. Or maybe a different gun.

Suddenly Harvey is just a sad confused lawyer because his mom died. The mom he didn't care about until Donna kept pushing with her dad and the painting. Jesus. Let shit die. Yes, Harvey has some good memories. Let him have them! Sometimes that's all you have left.

Was any of that visit of finding out the man who ruined your family is playing grandpa for your brother's kids, worth it?

Was watching your family spit on your dad's memory SO healing?

Then the shit with Donna dad's. Donna gets offended for her dad, Harvey stands his ground for half a second then tries to apologize by doing something nice. Her dad's pride gets pissy with Harvey because it's a business connection. Donna gets pissed again, like she doesn't know this how Harvey says I care. Instead she make him feel like shit, only for her dad to ask for the same help anyway. And Harvey just moves on with life all happy like none of that happened.

The Donna and the mother thing, I can't express the level of hate, disgust, and betrayal. It was the grossest thing Suits did, and they had Harvey sleeping with his therapist.

One huge thing I've learned from finally being in a healthy relationship is that there will be conflict. Not having conflict in any relationship is impossible. I often find myself trying to avoid disagreements. But I've learned that doing that will not go well.

Avoiding conflict is bad communication.

If you have a (serious) issue with something related to a relationship, you need to bring it up. Your partner should be open to talking through arguments and disagreements.