#digit-ally

"Fuck!"

Bakugou's scream suddenly broke the peaceful, calm silence of the forest. Both him and Kirishima were wandering around the place for quite a time, and while it was completely understandable for Bakugou to get frustrated, Kirishima genuinly enjoyed it. If it wasn't for the reason why they were here, he would consider it just a nice walk, a date even. But Kirishima knew that today they meant business, and he shouldn't let his thoughts get away from it too much. If he wanted Bakugou not to be angry with him, that is.

"That shitty dragon really couldn't have found itself a better place than a fucking forest to crash, huh?" Bakugou snarled as he vented his frustration by kicking the nearest rock. Kirishima smiled at him. At this point he was so used to Bakugou's outbursts that he found them amusing, in a way.

"Dude, there's hardly even anything else here apart from forests, what did you expect? Hey, c'mon. Don't worry so much about that. I'm sure we'll find it."

Bakugou didn't feel like calming down at all, although he did have to admit that Kirishima's warm smile was probably the only thing in the entire world that would ever come this near to soothing his nerves. He rolled his eyes in response, but the tone of his voice did calm significantly.

"I'm not worried, idiot. I'm sure we'll find it, because I am not leaving the damn place without a dragon. I will tear down every fucking tree if that's what it takes to bring the bastard to the village."

"Yeah, right, that's what I'm talking about! I can't wait to see their faces when we show them that we actually DID take a real Night Fury down! I'm so excited just thinking about it. Aren't you excited Katsuki?"

Bakugou laughed. He couldn't help it that Kirishima's excitement was getting through to him.

"Fuck, you bet I am. Those idiots kept laughing at me for saying I shot this stupid Night Fury bullshit down with my own hands. But now that you're going to kill it, we'll make them all choke on those words."

"Oh damn right we- wait, what? Me?"

Kirishima stopped and blinked in surprise, not quite believing what he has just heard. All of a sudden, his enthusiasm faded away, leaving him visibly nervous.

"Since when it's me who is supposed to kill the dragon, Katsuki? I mean it was you who shot it so wouldn't it be fair for you to, uh, finish the work you started?

Bakugou raised his eyebrow. Such a sudden change in Kirishima's behavior seemed suspicious and unusual for him. He didn't like it.

"What are you even saying, shithead? Of course the fuck not! We're a team. I did my part of the job which means now is your turn. That is what I call fair. Besides, I already killed my first dragon, and you didn't. If this keeps up those idiots out there in the village will eat you alive."

"Are you saying that they still talk about me behind my back...? About the not-killing-a-dragon thing?"

Bakugou sighed. Now he understood exactly what the sudden change of attitude was about. How could he not get it before? He knew too well about Kirishima's biggest insecurity and mentioning the villagers was one fast way to trigger it even more. Bakugou felt like he was the actual idiot here and he hated that. He looked Kirishima in the eyes, dead serious.

"Not when i beat the goddamn shit out of them when they do so. Listen, you don't deserve to be put down like that. You're strong and manly, and totally capable of killing dragons. I'm sure of that. And you know it too. It's just the rest that don't know. Wouldn't it be thrilling to prove them wrong?"

Kirishima didn't look convinced. In fact he looked like he was having a hard time processing the situation. Bakugou reflected on his words and tried again with different approach.

"...Look, I-

...I may have used the wrong words for it. It doesn't fucking matter at all what others think about you, as long as you yourself know your own worth. But what matters is that killing a dragon is a powerful experience. It really makes you feel like you have enormous strenght, like you're some kind of a god. I want you to be able to experience it and be as satisfied and fulfilled as me. Only a fool would reject the opportunity to kill a dragon that is basically served to him on a silver plate. Listen, if you don't want to kill the dragon for yourself, do it for me. Do it for us, Ei."

The thing was that no matter how bad Kirishima's doubts were, he couldn't deny that he was madly in love with Bakugou, and therefore extremely weak for all those moments when he spoke to him in [that] voice he was using on him right now. The soft, loving, encouraging, lower toned kind of voice Bakugou wouldn't use on anyone else except Kirishima.

"I guess you do have a point here Katsuki."

Bakugou responded with a satisfied, fierce smile, one of those that Kirishima really enjoyed seeing. He gave in completely as Bakugou pulled him closer for a nice, deep kiss.

"There you go... There's my brave, unbreakable Eijirou. I think I might have something just for the occasion."

Bakugou reached to his belt and grabbed a knife he then gave to Kirishima. But that was no ordinary knife. Kirishima's eyes went open wide as he realised what he was holding. It was Katsuki's lucky knife, the exact one he killed his first dragon with. Kirishima was still amazed everytime he remembered that fight. To take down a dragon having only a knife on you for many seemed impossible. But for Katsuki, there was no such thing as impossible. That's why he admired him so much and still found it hard to believe that someone like Bakugou would consider someone like him his equal.

"What, why so surprised? You need it more than I do. Keep it. Make a good use of it and make me proud. No, make yourself proud."

Now that Kirishima thought about it, he has never actually seen Bakugou allowing anyone to touch it, ever, let alone make any use of it. The fact he was gifted such a meaningful thing filled Kirishima's heart with sudden wave of courage and will to act. Will to be strong and to prove himself that there is no such thing he's not capable of. The big, bright smile came back to Kirishima's face.

"Thank you, Katsuki. Thank you so much."

As they continued to search through the woods, Kirishima's excitement was in the right place. Even though he still felt nervous, he decided not to let it control him. At some point he reached for another kiss but Bakugou pushed him away and pointed to the ground with visible satisfaction.

"Ei, look! You see those traces here? I bet that's where the dragon fell. It was too weak to fly away, it's most probably very near. Fuck, we've found it!"

Next thing they saw when they looked around the place was a familiar net, and under it, a big, black pile of something that was most probably their dragon. Sparks of excitement appeared in Bakugou's eyes as he gave Kirishima a push forward.

"Go get it."

"Right!"

Kirishima took a deep breath as he began carefully approaching the dragon. He could do it. He totally could. "I have Katsu's lucky knife and a taste of his lips on mine, what could possibly go wrong?" he mumbled to himself as he was getting close to the infamous Night Fury. Bakugou decided to watch him from the distance.

First thing that Kirishima did as soon as he reached the dragon was to kneel down beside it and gently place his hand on it, then move it across its smooth, black scales. For a brief second he thought that maybe the dragon was already dead? That would certainly spare him a lot of trouble. But then he felt his hand being gently lifted as the dragon inhaled. He gasped in surprise and quickly took his hand back. The dragon was very much alive. Kirishima felt absolutely terrified, yet absolutely amazed at the same time. Not only it was his first time seing a dragon this close, but also seeing a dragon that nobody has ever seen before at all. This felt like enough of a thrilling experience for Kirishima. When he remembered what he was supposed to do, it brought up a weird feeling of sadness in him. The dragon was so...beautiful. It looked so peaceful and vulnerable while it was asleep like this. Kirishima sighed heavily.

"How am I supposed to take your life away while you can't even fight me back...?"

"What the fuck is taking you so long, shitty hair?!"

Kirishima twitched. Bakugou's yelling brought him down to earth yet once again.

"Katsu, I-...I don't think I can do it!"

That was most probably the worst possible way to express what he was feeling right now. He regretted those words the moment he spoke. Bakugou approached him quickly and angrily.

"What the fuck is your problem again?! You want to back away now that we're so close? After I gave you the knife and did my fucking best to make you feel better about yourself, even though I can't comfort others for shit and you know it? Listen here, you-"

"No, no, I'm not going to back away, please let me explain!" Kirishima interrupted Bakugou halfway through his outburst, hoping it wouldn't last. "I mean just look at him. He seems so vulnerable lying helplessly like this on the ground like he's already defeated. All I'm saying is that...you know, is there really a pride to be taken in butchering an unconcious dragon? I mean, it's no effort, there's not even a fight. That's not very manly nor thrilling if you ask me."

For a second Bakugou looked like he was about to lose his shit and explode again, but as soon as Kirishima spoke, his face expression changed. Now he was smiling, and it was one of those sly, fierce grins of his that always meant trouble.

"Right, sure. Of course you want a fight. That's understandable. Should have just said exactly that, babe. Let's rile the beast up then."

Bakugou got down on his knees and started cutting the strings of the net that was tangled around the dragon's limbs.

"Wait, no, that's not what I-"

Before Kirishima could say anything more, he was interrupted with the sound of a loud hit of Bakugou's hand on the dragon's hard scaled back. The Night Fury's eyes opened up right away and its pupils narrowed in a sign of hostility.

"this is bad-"

The dragon stood up on all fours, spreading its wings and roaring loudly and terrifyingly right in Bakugou and Kirishima's face. Kirishima's heart stopped, but Bakugou? Bakugou yelled back.

"That's right, that's more like it! Bring it on, fucker! They don't call you the Night Fury for no fucking reason, do they?!"

That's when it all went down to shit.

***

***

“Ei? It’s me, open the doors.”

Usually when Kirishima was crying, Bakugou’s presence could work wonders when it came to calming him down. But this time was different. This time, when Kirishima heard Bakugou knocking on his doors, he prayed he’d rather stay out of this and let him be alone for once.

“Eijirou! Don’t think you can fool me, I know you’re in there! I’m hearing you crying your guts out! Just fucking let me in, damn!”

Deep down, Kirishima knew that once Bakugou settled on something, he would rather die than give up on it. That’s just who he was. That’s why he wasn’t surprised at all to hear the gentle knocking soon turning into violent slamming as his boyfriend was quickly getting irritated.

“Shitty Hair! If you won’t let me in, I’m kicking those doors out! Don’t think I won’t fucking do that!”

Kirishima didn’t even have enough time to react as he heard a loud THUD and the next thing he witnessed was a visibly pissed Bakugou right in front of him.

“Dude, what the fuck?!”

“I should be the one to ask you the damn question! Do you even know how fucking scared I was after you left like this, locked yourself up and didn’t even give me a single fucking answer? Do you?!“

As Bakugou continued yelling, Kirishima felt a sudden wave of anger hitting him unexpectedly. Strong enough to make it easier for him to restrain himself from crying. He wiped his tears off quickly and sniffed loudly as he gave Bakugou an angry look.

“What else was I supposed to do after you made a scene?” said Kirishima, doing his best trying to sound rough despite being visibly shaken. “I told you to stay out of this but you just don’t listen. Like, ever. You’re not making it easier for me.”

“Of course I don’t! I am not going to listen to bullshit. Who the fuck do you think I am, Eijirou? Did you really expect me to just- put up with those bastards deciding you don’t belong in the fucking school anymore? You’d have to be one hell of a fucking idiot to think that I’d let go of you even for a second.”

Now that Bakugou said it, Kirishima felt like there’s way more tears coming. Fuck, he really was doing the worst job trying to supress them. One thing he wanted more than anything right now was to be wrapped in Katsuki’s arms and just forget about everything. But he knew he couldn’t, because then all the effort he has already put in distancing himself would be for nothing. He turned back at Bakugou, keeping his head down and rubbing his shoulders in attempt to calm himself down.

“You should let go of me for good. I told you. Leave me alone and let me pack my things. I’m being serious.”

Bakugou crossed his arms, ready to fight back. He sure as fuck wasn’t leaving. At least not with such a weak attempt to make him do so.

“Oh, really? I don’t think you’re being serious at all, turning your back at me like this. You really want me to go? Then you’ll have to try fucking harder. You want me to leave you? To give up on you just like you gave up on yourself? If that’s what you really want, then go ahead! Tell that to my fucking face. Tell me I don’t mean shit to you anymore, tell me to go fuck myself. Only then I can take you seriously.”

The only response that Bakugou received was silence, interrupted only with Kirishima’s loud sniffing. He honestly expected that to happen, but it still felt awful. Bakugou hated silence, it felt far worse and difficult to handle than the fight. He’d honestly rather have Kirishima yell at him. He began to hate himself for pushing his boyfriend to the level when he was lost for words.

“Shit, I knew you wouldn’t. That’s because it’s not what you want, is it?”

Bakugou inhaled deeply and let out a heavy sigh, as he approached Kirishima and put his hand on his arm, gently.

“I’ve made my point. Your turn. Why are you trying to push me away? Why are you trying so hard to distance yourself from me, Eijirou? Just tell me.”

Even despite his irritation, Bakugou’s voice surprisingly became calm. A lot quieter, softer. And…sad? Fuck. Kirishima could fight Bakugou’s anger in every form, he knew he could. But he absolutely couldn’t stand a chance against the hint of hurt in Bakugou’s voice, nor againts the gentle gesture. That’s when he lost it. He turned back again, to face him, to let their eyes meet, not even trying to fight flowing tears anymore. He was a mess.

“Fine! It’s just- I can’t let you throw your life out because of me! I can’t!”

“What? What are you even saying-”

“No, listen, the moment I knew i have to leave, I knew you would want to follow me- and I knew I would never forgive myself if you did. Being here is like your life goal, your determination to be a number one hero is what drives you. It’s remarkable. How could I be the one to take it away from you? How could I ever be ok with this?”

As soon as he spoke out, Kirishima felt Bakugou’s arms wrapping around him instantly, pulling him closer and holding him tight. He embarced him back, clinged to him for life, burying his face in Bakugou’s chest. They stayed like this for a while, as Kirishima was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Fuck, Ei…” Bakugou muttered under his breath. He was rubbing Kirishima’s back to help him calm down.  “Is that what’s troubling you right now? Me?…shit. Fuck, I’m… I’m sorry I yelled, ok? For fuck’s sake, why weren’t you honest with me from the beginning?”

“I- I was just trying to do what I thought would be best for you.” Kirishima mumbled into Bakugou’s chest. Now that he said that out loud, it sounded kind of stupid and he felt embarassed. This didn’t sound right and Kirishima couldn’t believe it took him so long to realize how badly he could hurt not only Bakugou but also himself with pushing him away.

“You’re so fucking stupid, Eijirou.” said Bakugou, softly and lovingly. “I know what’s best for me. Being with you, that’s what. Nothing else besides that really matters. I can’t fucking live without you, and I will repeat myself as many times as you need to hear this. So maybe it finally gets through to your dumb brain.”

“Fuck, Katsuki… I love you so goddamn much- b ut-”

“No buts, that cuts it, dumbass. You love me, and I love you, we’ve got that covered. What else are you supposed to worry about?”

“I don’t know, everything? What are we going to do, where are we supposed to go? What about Ground Zero the number one hero?”

“Huh? What about it? Am I not making myself clear? Ground Zero doesn’t fucking exist without Red Riot.”

“-but- your goal-”

“Tch. And who said I need this shitty school to reach my goals?”

Bakugou grabbed Kirishima by the chin and lifted his face up so that he looked him in the eyes.

“I’m still going to be the best fucking hero there has ever been. And you, as my equal, are also going to be the best fucking hero there has ever been. Both of us are about to make the whole fucking world know our names. Got it?”

Kirishima opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Backupu cupped his face in his hands and kissed him, so deeply and affectionately that Kirishima let out a surprised gasp. But he did nothing to stop him. He engaged in the kiss wholeheartedly, and for the first time since he knew he has to leave, he felt like this was a beginning of something new and exciting, rather than the depressing end.

“That’s more like it” Bakugou smiled as he pulled himself back" Come on, Red. We’ve got some packing to do.“

***