


#ao3#ao3 fanfic#writeblr#writing community#archive of our own


seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from Egypt
seen from China
seen from Yemen

seen from New Zealand
seen from Netherlands
seen from Israel
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Mexico
seen from New Zealand
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from China
seen from Poland

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
~ just derealization/god complex things ~
suicide mention, trauma mention
• having a lack of sensible empathy towards others because you think “i’m making their problems up anyway, they don’t really have emotions”
• hearing about tragedies in other parts of the world and not feeling anything because according to your brain the people who went through it aren’t real
• feeling proud of yourself when you see something cool or hear about a cool concept because you’re proud of yourself for “making it”
• feeling like you have god-like powers because you “control” everything but when you actually try to use your “powers” they obviously don’t work and you get mad at yourself
• getting really mad at yourself for being upset about things that happen because according to your brain, you made it happen - thus, more self hatred!!
• when good things happen you feel numb because you feel its not real and doesnt actually mean anything
• + getting your hopes up and then telling yourself “hold on, its not real, you’re making it up” etc.
• being astonished that your brain can “replicate” the same song over and over perfectly (almost) every time (idk if that made sense)
• ^ however sometimes music sounds way too fast, slow, harsh, etc. and the same song will change with different times you listen to it
• feeling that your trauma is invalid invalid invalid invalid invalid
• having the hardest time thinking that there’s More after death
• religion? who?
• being amazed that you can eat food!!! wow!!!! how did i make my body do that????!!!!!
• brain: “if i die, there’s not going to be anyone to actually miss me?? im making it up???”
ive depressed myself into dissociation
floating through time and space. my body is heavy but my head is empty. asking: 'do you see this too?'. acting like a robot. always scared that i am not aware of what i am doing right now. not talking to your parents because they also seem like robots. not recognizing people.
how does it feel?