#derealize

suicide mention, trauma mention

• having a lack of sensible empathy towards others because you think “i’m making their problems up anyway, they don’t really have emotions”

• hearing about tragedies in other parts of the world and not feeling anything because according to your brain the people who went through it aren’t real

• feeling proud of yourself when you see something cool or hear about a cool concept because you’re proud of yourself for “making it”

• feeling like you have god-like powers because you “control” everything but when you actually try to use your “powers” they obviously don’t work and you get mad at yourself

• getting really mad at yourself for being upset about things that happen because according to your brain, you made it happen - thus, more self hatred!!

• when good things happen you feel numb because you feel its not real and doesnt actually mean anything

• + getting your hopes up and then telling yourself “hold on, its not real, you’re making it up” etc.

• being astonished that your brain can “replicate” the same song over and over perfectly (almost) every time (idk if that made sense)

• ^ however sometimes music sounds way too fast, slow, harsh, etc. and the same song will change with different times you listen to it

• feeling that your trauma is invalid invalid invalid invalid invalid

• having the hardest time thinking that there’s More after death

• religion? who?

• being amazed that you can eat food!!! wow!!!! how did i make my body do that????!!!!!