#delsicle

“You told me to fuck off,” Ilya reminds him helpfully, grinning at his room at large when Hollander makes an annoyed sound.

“That’s not what I meant,” Hollander says as if he needs to clarify. Ilya feels his face soften into a smile and bites his tongue to stop himself. There should be no softness here.

Ilya hums and decides to be magnanimous. For Hollander’s sake. “What did you mean then?”

“I—fuck you, you know what I meant!”

Ilya sniffs theatrically. “I try to be helpful and you are always so mean.” 

There’s a pause, long enough that Ilya wonders if the call got disconnected maybe, his shitty ass phone does that sometimes, but then he hears Hollander’s soft exhale.

“Fuck,” he says, and it sounds like he aimed it more at himself than at Ilya. “I don’t—I don’t know why—forget it. Good night, Rozanov.”

Ilya is bowled over by the need to keep him on the line, all of a sudden. 

Stupid.

“Hollander,” he says before he can hang up. Hollander still spooks so easily, and Ilya knows to be gentle with him. “What’s wrong?”

Another pause, though now Ilya hears soft rustling. Hollander is wrestling with himself, probably, always so keen on keeping things in when they so desperately want to get out. Ilya wants to smooth out his edges, to give him a safe space to unwind, and that, too, is a dangerous thought.

Stupid, again.

“Nothing,” Hollander finally settles on. He doesn’t sound like it at all.

Then why did you call?

Ilya gives him a moment. It’s always best and easiest to wait him out.

“Just—” A soft, frustrated noise. “It’s—I’m trying but. It doesn’t seem to work—” It sounds as if the words are being ripped out of him violently. 

“Well, it is very hard and takes skill,” Ilya says and nods, despite the fact that Hollander can’t see him.

“It can’t be that hard if you’re doing it.” Hollander manages to sound both sullen and condescending at the same time, and it draws a laugh out of Ilya, unbidden.

“Ah, is natural talent. Not everyone has it,” Ilya explains in his sweetest tone, as if he was breaking bad news to a child. 

“Fuck you, you just said it’s a skill,” Hollander scoffs. It sounds more light-hearted than before. “Maybe you’re just a bad teacher.”

Ilya gasps in mock shock. “Maybe you are not just slow hockey player. You are slow learner, too.”

“I’m not a slow hockey player!”

Ilya grins. Of course that’s what he would focus on. “Slow learner, then.”

“I’m not—” Hollander cuts himself off. “It’s just sex. It can’t be that hard.”

Ilya snorts.

“Oh, fuck off, you know what I mean.”

Ilya settles against his headrest and considers for a moment. Some people, he’s learned, do not enjoy sex. For a moment, before he’s really gotten into this thing with Hollander and his girlfriend, Ilya thought maybe Hollander was one of those people. 

Now, Ilya is sure he’s not. He’s sure that Hollander views sex as a chore, not as a pleasure, not as something to make him feel good. He’s also sure that Hollander himself doesn’t realize that.

“Is not,” Ilya finally says, thoughtfully. He decides to spook the horse. “You enjoy it?”

“What?” Hollander sounds caught off guard.

“‘Just sex’,” Ilya repeats. “You like it?”

“Of course.” Hollander throws it out before Ilya even finishes asking the question. 

Ilya hums.

“I do!” Hollander insists, as if he thinks Ilya doesn’t believe him. 

Ilya doesn’t believe him.

“It’s fine,” Hollander adds.

That word again. Ilya almost feels bad for him. He does, a little, maybe. Another part of him, a much meaner part, doesn’t.

“What do you like about it?” Ilya asks. Maybe, maybe, if he pisses Hollander off enough, they won’t do it again. 

He doesn’t believe that either.

“What.”

Ilya rolls his eyes. “Sex, Hollander, pay attention. What do you like about it?”

“I like all of it,” Hollander says and Ilya almost laughs.

“What is ‘all of it’?” Ilya asks because he’s decided to push it. 

There’s silence on the other end of the line. Then, “I like—I—” He sounds as if he’s trying to think of something, desperate to give Ilya an answer. “Orgasms.”

Ilya almost bursts out laughing. “Okay,” he says, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice. “Sure.” He takes a breath. “Orgasms is not all of it.”

“I like the rest, too,” Hollander says bitchily.

“M-hm. You have convinced me.”

“Fuck you, you asked.”

And you couldn’t even answer.

Now that he’s pushing, he might as well keep going. “What do you think about when you get yourself off?”

“What?” Hollander’s voice sounds oddly squeaky for a brief second.

“To feel good, to get off, what do you think about?” Ilya repeats, as nonchalant as he can, stomping down the sudden need to know the answer. “What do you do?”

“None of your fucking business,” Hollander says, full of outrage and something else that Ilya can’t quite place. Panic, maybe. Shame. Guilt. 

“Your girlfriend?” Ilya prompts, relentless, offering the one olive branch he knows Hollander would take, even if it’s a lie.

“Of course.”

So predictable. Such a liar.

Ilya hums. “If you want to make it good for Jessica, you have to feel good, too. So, what makes you feel good, Hollander?”

He hears a soft little gasp. Ilya grins to himself.

“Didn’t you say you don’t do remote maintenance?” Hollander asks.

Ilya grins wider. “I changed my mind. Now tell me.”

He can practically hear Hollander telling him to go fuck himself before he’s said it out loud. It doesn’t come though. Instead, there’s more silence and the soft sounds of breathing—heavy breathing. 

“Fine,” Ilya relents a little, afraid that Hollander might hyperventilate if he keeps pushing him to share his thoughts. Action then, since Hollander is a man of it. “Tell me what you would do. If it was just you.”

Hollander’s exhale is audible through the phone. He’s quiet otherwise, a few moments passing in silence before he speaks again.

“I’d—I’d touch myself,” he says quietly, slowly, carefully, as if he could spook himself with his own admissions. 

”Where?”

Hollander makes another soft sound. “I would…brush my neck.”

“Good,” Ilya murmurs. “What else?”

Hollander curses softly. “I’d—” He sucks in a breath. “I would. Run a hand over my chest and…I—rub my—” He breaks off, as if he can’t make himself say it.

Ilya shifts on his bed, ignoring the way his cock is stirring. “Nipple?” he offers, and hears Hollander release a rough exhale.

“Yeah. Yes.” Hollander’s voice sounds breathy. 

“Until it’s hard?”

A soft little gasp tumbles through the line. “Yes.”

“Continue.”

Hollander makes a bitten off sound and Ilya smiles.

“Continue telling me, Hollander,” he nudges. 

Hollander clears his throat. Ilya can practically see his flushed cheeks. 

“I would…fuck. I would rub my nipple until it’s hard and then—” 

Ilya palms his cock and a rough sound escapes him, loud enough for Hollander to hear, going by the way he falls silent again, and fuck—

“Fuck,” Hollander breathes. “I’d pinch it. Roll it between my fingers. I’d do it with the other one, too. Tug a little.”

“You like that, Hollander? A little pain?” Ilya swallows against the dryness in his mouth.

“No,” Hollander says, and then, “A little,” so quietly Ilya almost misses it. 

Ilya wishes he could see him now. Wishes he could see what Hollander looks like when he’s experiencing actual pleasure. But that’s probably a push too far for now. So he closes his eyes and imagines Hollander’s face, the freckles swallowed up by his blush, pupils blown wide, hands running over his own body.

“I would stroke myself,” Hollander continues, breath hitching. He sounds like he’s working to focus on his words. “Slowly at first but—not for long.”

Ilya feels oddly lightheaded. “You would be hard? From playing with your nipples?”

A pause, then, “Fuck off.”

“Yes?” he prompts, and when he hears Hollander’s drawn out exhale, he knows the answer.

“Yes.”

“Fuck, Hollander.” Ilya’s cock spurts precome, wetting his boxers. He takes a deep breath to even out his breathing. “You are freak?”

Hollander huffs. “I’m not, shut up.”

”Okay,” Ilya chuckles, still trying for casual. His cock jumps in his hand when he hears Hollander stifle a moan with medium success. “So you have your dick in hand. What now?”

“I stroke it. Slowly, at first. And then…faster. Tighter.”

“Good.”

“Fuck. Rozanov, you can’t say shit like that.”

”No? Why not? Feels good, no?”

“Yeah,” he says after a moment, breath shuddery. Ilya wonders if he’s touching himself right now the way he describes. 

“How long do you last?” Ilya feels the wet spot leak through his underwear and soak into his sweatpants.

“Jesus Christ, Rozanov,” Hollander’s voice sounds so different now, almost thin, toneless, as if he has to concentrate on speaking, forming words. “I—not long.”

Ilya grins. “Play with your balls?”

It’s meant as a question but even to his own ears, it sounds like an order. Hollander curses again.

“Yeah. Yeah, would—would do that.”

”Yeah? Would you feel them pull up before you shoot off all over yourself?” Ilya shoves his free hand in his boxers to get his fist on his dick and sucks in a breath at the first too rough, too dry drag.

Hollander gasps. “Yes.”

“How does your dick feel in your hand?” Ilya didn’t meant to ask but it is out before he can stop himself. 

The little gasp on the other end of the line zips straight to his cock, making it throb. Ilya spreads some of his pre over the tip of his dick.

“Hot,” Hollander breathes. He sounds out of it. “Wet.”

Now Ilya curses. “You leak, Hollander? Get all wet and messy?”

Hollander groans, low and guttural, and Ilya loses his fucking mind.

“How do you finish?”  

“I—” Hollander’s breath catches. “I jerk off and it’s. It’s wet and—there—there’s a spot behind my balls. When I press it just right—”

Ilya squeezes at the base of his cock to ground himself. He cannot come yet. Not just from this. He clenches his jaw, lets the fire lick low at his spine and Hollander’s voice wash over him.

“How does it feel? When you’re close?”

Hollander is breathing hard. Ilya is too, but he hides it better.

“It feels—”

“Just fine?”

“Fuck off, it feels. I don’t know…it feels. Great.”

Ah, Hollander’s ever superlative descriptions. Really evoking emotions. Ilya would laugh if he wasn't still trying not to shoot off. 

“How great? Describe it to me.”

“You know how it feels,” Hollander says, apparently breaking through his haze again, embarrassed and defensive.

“Yes. I do. But this is about you. If you want me to help you, I need to know how it feels for you.”

It’s not even a total lie.

There’s another brief moment of silence before Hollander speaks again. “It feels like—” He sounds even breathier now, stumbling over the words. “It feels like. Like when we’re on the power play.”

Of course Hollander would use hockey as a point of reference. 

“Like when I know we’re about to score. When it’s building and lining up perfectly, like when it’s all just right there. Just right.”

Ilya’s cock throbs in his hand. “I know.” He does. He knows that feeling, he knows what it’s like, and he knows how Hollander looks when it happens.

It feels like they’re the only two people in the world. 

But that is hockey. This is…something else. Something Ilya should not be chasing. He does anyway.

“And then you push yourself over the edge?” Ilya asks. Wants to ask, While you’re thinking about me? “Make a mess of yourself, Hollander?”

He hears his sharp intake of breath, and then a low, drawn out moan, a string of fuck fuck fuck, the wet, furious slide of wet skin, the undeniable sound of orgasm.

Ilya squeezes the head of his cock, a spurt of precome wetting his palm. 

“Good?”

Hollander shudders out a breath. “Good.”

“Now all you have to do is make yourself feel good like this when you’re fucking Jessica,” Ilya says matter-of-factly. 

He's met with another short silence. 

“Right,” Hollander mutters then. He sounds like his breathing is still evening out, like he’s not convinced of that strategy. And then, “I do feel good when fucking her.”

Ilya rolls his eyes even though Hollander can’t see him. “Yes, of course.”

“Well then what’s the fucking point?” 

Ah. Hollander is back. 

“Point is, think about doing with her what makes you feel good,” Ilya says with much more patience than is warranted, really, considering how hard his dick is. “You have fun, she has fun, you feel good, she feels good, both of you have great sex. Not ‘just sex’.”

“Sure.” 

By the tone of his voice, Ilya knows he’s reached Hollander’s limit. 

Did you feel now like when you fuck her? Ilya wants to ask, stupidly. He shouldn’t. 

He knows Hollander wouldn’t give an honest answer. Might not even know that it wouldn’t be honest.

“Well, then,” Hollander says, and he sounds like he’s ready to forget this ever happened. 

Ilya sighs, put-upon. “We will work on your skills, Hollander.”

“Fuck off.” 

“You may not have my natural talent, and you may be slow learner, you may not be giving it your best, but you are giving it a shot.”

Hollander huffs. “Go fuck yourself, Rozanov,” he scoffs, and ends the call.

Ilya drops his phone onto his bed.

Hollander’s quickly soured mood, unfortunately, has done nothing to soften his cock. Instead, all the sounds he’s made are playing in a loop in Ilya’s head, echoing, bouncing off the walls of his mind.

Ilya strokes himself firmly from base to tip, twisting his hand around his flushed, leaking head, and pictures Hollander doing the same earlier.

As his orgasm washes over him, Ilya realizes that it was the first time he’s heard Hollander make any noise at all, and the fleck of pity he feels is bowled over by another wave of arousal. 

J U N E : :

You Were Made To Be Mine by lovelarry10 (@chloehl10)

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...

This was such a cute read! At a whopping 580k, there is a LOT to sink your teeth into. Though I started it at the beginning of June, I haven’t even nearly finished yet, but it’s so good that it’s made it onto my rec list!

Get Off and Vote by haztobegood (@haztobegood)

Niall lets out a loud laugh, “Hey, listen to this. You know how elections are Tuesday? It says the Babeland on the edge of campus is giving out free toys to the first 100 people that show their ‘I Voted’ sticker.”

“How patriotic.” Louis laughs. “Maybe I should go.”

Haha! This one was great. At 3k, it’s a perfect quick read for some sexy, patriotic fun. 

Surprise Me, Space Boy by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?

OR The Space Wank Fic.

Oh, this one was so good!!! The thing I love about literally anything Dee writes is that she just thinks completely outside the box. I feel like I never quite know what’s going to happen (in the best way!) and her originality totally made this fic amazing. (7k)

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (@crossnecklace)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

This was such a good read! It’s written in such a way that you’re utterly sucked into the verse so much that you’re a bit sappy when the fic is over. Kinda makes you feel a bit lovedrunk just from reading it. (29k)

Found My Hallelujah by crimsontheory (@ireallysawanangel)

As an engagement gift from his parents, Harry and his fiance receive an all expenses paid cruise trip for two. But one week before they're set to sail, Harry walks in on his fiance cheating on him. Newly single, with the cruise tickets in hand, and his bags already packed, Harry brings along his sister instead. And maybe the cute bartender on the ship might just be the person Harry needs to help him put back together all of his broken pieces.

I have so much to say about this one! I had the absolute honor of beta’ing this 35k work (which im pretty sure i just cheerlead you bc nicole you know grammar isn’t my strong suit...lmfao) and honestly it has become a fic that i love so much! nicole is such a talented writer; everything she writes just brings out so much emotion from her audience, and she has such a great sense of characterization! if you liked this one, check out its sequel, Now I’m Moving Up because it’s great too!!!!

J U L Y : :

Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 (@allwaswell16)

When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.

Haha! This one was so cute! What a darling fic! (5k)

The Charles Compass Trilogy by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.

So I’m convinced that any rec list I make will not be complete if Sada isn’t on it. Here’s the thing - I fell in love with this story before she was revealed as the author, and honestly I had no clue. She’s got this amazing way of being able to change her style to fit the kind of story she’s trying to tell. This is such a good look at the writing process, highly recommend! (9k)

From The Heart series by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.

As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?

Okay, Dee really killed the game this time. Because I was OBSESSED. I mean honestly checking my phone at work to see what the newest installment was. This series is so fulfilling and so so hot to think about as an author! (25k)

blue eyes, black jeans, lighters, candy by delsicle (@emperorstyles)

Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.

So, the whole dom on tour series is really good, but this is my favorite work of the two. I love basically anything Delaney writes but this was extremely hot! (4k)

Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him.

aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

Okay. If you know me at all, you know that the way to my heart is either spanking, kink negotiation, or both. This just delivers on it all, and it catches on some main parts of BDSM-for-newbies and kink-gone-wrong that people often pretend never happens. I could gush so much about this, but go ahead and just read it yourself because it’s too good to miss!! (13k)

you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl (@angelichl)

One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.

Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?

Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.

Okay WOW. I have so much to say about this one!!! So first off, the biggest thank you to adri for writing this fic for me for HL Summer Exchange!!! Honestly I feel like you spied through all my hopes and dreams and loves (including parenthesis in fic titles??? love it) and squished it all into this fic. it’s just the best fic, and it feels like warm summer air and tracing constellations in the stars and falling in love. if you haven’t read this already, please do!!!! It was so good I teared up when I first read it! (25k)

Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) (@kingsofeverything)

Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more.

When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.

The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Okay. Okay. This fic literally is one I will remember for the rest of my life, and i’m not even being dramatic about it! So, I really do enjoy leaving authors detailed comments about their fics, but that just wasn’t enough... I really had to message Lauren this whole essay about how Heading for Limbo helped me deal with a lot of emotions I was feeling in my own personal life, and it helped me fully realize that i’m bisexual. (did i just come out?? yikes) it was nice to see a fic where things weren’t perfect over a long stretch of time. It was amazing to see Harry realize his sexuality later in life, because that was one of my main struggles. this fic is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Literally, Lauren, thanks for changing my whole life!!! (101k)

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (@becomeawendybird)

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Okay, if you’re new around here, this fic was also on one of my previous rec lists, but then Molly had to ruin my life and write another chapter of it. Jesus Christ!!!! I literally could read this fic every single day and die happily. It’s so hot, and the characterization is so good. So, I guess this rec is specifically for chaper 2, but you’ve gotta read chapter 1 also! For the betterment of your life, of course. (9k)

Abstract by Star55 (@star55)

After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.

Literally - this was hot as balls. Loved it! (8k)