#hcpost

no bc sometimes it just hits me like a train that connor has tattoos for his mom, his sister, his girlbestfriend and this dude from kamloops canada that he spent 37 days pretending to suck and fuck and fall in love with

I need to speak my truth. My brain goes through a daily battle to reconcile how I can be overwhelmingly attracted to fictional character Ilya Rozanov, and need him - and I do not use that phrase lightly - and his discarded tuxedo shirt, and his arrogant but funny exterior, the one that disguises a gooey soft heart - in a way that is frankly disappointing to feminism. Yet at the same time see walking, talking Real (real?) Connor as a little cinnamon roll Actorboy222 nephew-type I want to put under a blanket on a sofa, and bring warm drinks, and tuck under my arm and protect at all costs. But who, confusingly, also happens to look like some kind of idealised Greek god whose physical form makes me drool. While, at the same time, see pictures of Fashion Model Mogging Connor are objectively top 0.1% of the population, classically good looking. And also know from Tzar Dominick/Edgy Model era that Connor is nowhere near as cinnamon roll as he chooses (chooses?) to make out, and that’s utterly intriguing.