#delployment

**I typed this earlier in the afternoon, I just feel like a lot of us are always so silent during the most painful times as a military spouse and I wanted to try to use my little, shakey, unimportant voice lolol**

“You knew what you were getting yourself into”

“You knew this would happen”

“At least the money will be good”

“He’s fine”

“At least...”

Oh man. Let’s get into it.

We all choose certain avenues of our lives. We know what a lot of the outcomes will be. But we still have a right to feel them.

So why do military spouses and families have to be silent? And I’m not talking for security reasons.

You applied to your job, did a whole interview, accepted the job, and still show up everyday knowing what will happen. Yet you still complain every single day..right?

Knowing an event and living through one is a different world.

I’m not sitting here asking for people to pity me. This is my life. This is OUR life.

The sacrifices military members make and their families is something most people will never understand.

As much as I envy that, I also wouldn’t EVER change the way things are. Ever.

Getting married at 21 showed me who’s truly happy for me when I’m truly happy.

Moving to another country showed me everyone’s true colors and how much or little I really meant to some.

Trying to adjust overseas while my husband is constantly working or sleeping showed me a lot about myself and put my strength to the test.

I have learned. Grown. Matured. And changed. But in every way that I am proud of. I wish I was this woman a long time ago.

A woman who protects her peace. A woman who is learning to say no. A woman who loves and is still there for people but establishes boundaries. A woman who is kind but doesn’t take shit anymore and won’t always tell you what you want to hear. A woman who doesn’t always rely on others because being married in the military means being on your own, a lot.

Military life changed me. It changed my husband. ALL for the better.

It’s a tough life. It’s a lonely life. It’s a strong unit.

At any moment your life can be picked up and thrown upside down. No warning, no mercy.

Every holiday, every birthday, anniversary, all missed because last minute your loved one had to go and you never have a real date on when they’ll be back.

“How do you not know??” “That doesn’t even make sense!” “That’s so last minute wtf” “Wow you cancelled again, you’re so flakey!”

Yup. It doesn’t make any sense. But that’s how it goes.

LOVE the people around you. Don’t just share nice things on the internet. Get off your ass and be there for others (whenever you’re able to, of course we can’t always be there!) . Reach out, TELL the people you love that you love them. And SHOW it. I’m FAR from perfect but I try my best to be there and reach out to others the best I’m capable of while also taking care of my own needs and life.

If you are able to be with your loved ones throughout the holidays or everyday in general, without worry. PLEASE don’t take that for granted.

I’m not asking anyone to care, feel bad for us, or to even like the military. But respect is welcomed. Support is welcomed. And shutting the fuck up instead of trying to belittle the situation or compare is also, very much, welcomed.

So. Military spouses are not weak, dependent, or whiny.

We are badass, entrepreneurs, strong, thoughtful, “I’ll do it myself”, suffer in silence, good secret keepers, and we may not be able to always physically be there because of moving and everything else with our crazy life’s, BUT we are THE realest ride or die friends you’ll ever have, anywhere, anytime.

This next chapter in my husband and I’s lives is going to be extremely painful individually. But as a couple this will only make us closer and stronger. I wouldn’t live this crazy life with anyone else but him because I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him. So kind, thoughtful, strong, a great friend to others, hard worker, and braver than anyone I know. So please, be nice to people because you have no clue what their life is and what they’re going through. And please, keep him in your thoughts.