#deityjournal

while working with apollo today he approached the subject of my lack of relationship with the deities i have been worshipping. he acknowledged how it bothered me. while praying to hekate, she pushed the word “try” into my mind several times as i lamented about how i “couldn’t” keep up with everyone i wanted to, and how my faith was waning as i lacked devotion, focus, and motivation. apollo and hekate, together, suggested i pick a day of the week to worship each deity separately. j can continue my small, daily routines (sleep for hypnos, yoga for the morrigan, pills for apollo, etc.), but i may find it easier to pick a day to devote to each deity as well. i worship seven deities, and there are conveniently seven days in the week.

all of this was confirmed when i saw a post here about how i should do the same. i knew apollo and hekate sent the post my way to confirm what they were already telling me - sign, if you will. confirmation.

in that case, i’m writing my routines and devotional acts out here, as a way to stay motivated, accountable, and have it on hand whenever i need it.

every day i plan to pray to them more intensely than usual and offer something small, whether that be a portion of my meal, a flower i found, or a cool rock.

sunday; apollo’s day. pray to him, offer something to him. sunbathe in the window, or outside, in the morning. make a point to dedicate my medicine-taking to him. journal a little, and do a weekly tarot spread to honor his divination aspect.

monday; the morrigan’s day. pray to her, offer something to her. read one of my books about her. do an intense yoga routine to get the blood pumping - no skipping out on this! journal while praying to her.

tuesday; anpu’s day. pray to him, offer something to him. do some shadow work - this could be free writing, a tarot spread accompanied by journaling, or following some prompts. i’ve found that anpu really appreciates when i perform shadow work, and as a death deity, i think ill start a trend of working through my death trauma with him on tuesdays.

wednesday; hyacinthus’ day. pray to him, offer something to him. on wednesdays i will make a point to talk and pray to him while i water my plants, pick weeds, and check on the overall health of my garden and health plants. i’d like to also do some introspective journaling on love and the trauma i am working through, as hyacinthus’ main goal with me is to build a healthy relationship with my partner.

thursday; hypnos’ day. a soft, calm day. not much goes on. i offer to him, and pray to him. perhaps i can take an extra long nap. i can cleanse my bed altar, make it all tidy, and do some devotional prayers and restful activities in bed. i will also make a point to dedicate that night’s sleep to him, and invoke him to appear in my dreams if he’s willing.

friday; hekate’s day. offer to her and pray to her. read one of my books about her. perform a magical spell or ritual, no matter how big or small. right now it’s hard to do full blown spells as i’m working in the broom closet at my christian sisters house, so i don’t have much of my supplies. but manifestation and intention setting will be one way i can accomplish this.

saturday; hestia’s day. pray to her and offer to her. clean my room and tidy up my space in dedication to her. light a candle while i pray to her, and let her energy fill my room. maybe do some baking in her honor, like a sweet desert or an attempt at bread.

i am hoping to follow this routine for my gods and myself. this will help me refocus on my practice and get in touch my deities again, who i’ve been slightly neglecting in favor of doing nothing all day.

So, I was journaling about Loki today and I heard this very clearly in my head. 

Loki (and I quote); 

“Weaves Lies Like Thor Eats Pies” 

hello everyone!

i'm cody - i use all pronouns (she/they/him) and identify as genderqueer. i'm a polytheistic, hearth witch and i've been practicing for about two years now!

i follow many deities and many different pantheons. i find being close to the gods brings me closer to my craft.

a few of the deities i currently worship include anubis, artio, hypnos, the morrigan, hekate, eos, helios, selene, apollo, and hyacinthus.

i am interested in learning more about celtic paganism as well as slavic.

i'm learning as i go!

astrodia, star-walker, star-courser.

i laid in bed with a blanket over my legs and my eyes closed. i repeated her epithet in greek and english, inviting her to appear before me.

i kind of had a vision of her - the outline of her against the backdrop of a dark, star-filled sky. but she wasn’t separate from the stars and sky - she was the stars. she wasn’t apart from them as she moved above me. i feel chills in my legs and a hitch in my breath as i felt her presence.

meditating on this image, she gave me one lesson to follow in honor of her; “do not be afraid of your past mistakes.” i knew she was telling me to focus on the present, to forgive myself for any wrong or embarrassing things i have done in the past, and to live without fear. i will be using this going forward in honor of her.

sitting on the floor of my 300 square ft studio apartment. listening to the birds call through my open window.

a breeze glides past my face.

“do you feel that?” in the back of my mind, He speaks. “that means you’re alive.”

the exhaustion and stress of everything caught up to me while i was a passenger in my sisters car, and i found myself nearing a panic attack at the lack of control i had over the car as i felt that every twitch of the wheel and movement of the car would lead us to wreck.

we passed some roadkill. morbid, but i ignored it.

we passed some more. a post i had seen a while back about anpu letting His worshipper know He was with them through roadkill along the side of the road came to mind. i remembered the rings i was wearing, and remembered my offerings and plea for protection.

peace washed over me. it was instant. i knew He was there. god, it felt so good to be loved and protected in my weakest moment.

i recently purchased the antique anatomy tarot deck and dedicated it to him for our communication through tarot. i figured the themes of the deck were a little fitting, considering his role in mythology, and he seemed thrilled to be offered the deck.

the other day, i was angry with myself and i knew the answer to what i wanted, but i also knew i didn’t *want* that answer. i sat down in a huff and pulled out the cards and hoped he would tell me something i didn’t already know.

instead, i drew the four of elixirs.

“you want to be better?” he asked me. “then be better. get up. wash your dishes. do your homework.”

goddamn, he was right. so i got up. and i did them.

on samhain, i was feeling homesick and upset. i knew the answer was to be better, but i also knew some days (like that day), i *couldn’t*. i pulled out the cards and did a spread i had found on pinterest. one of the questions asked him if there was anything i should know.

“sometimes being better is recognizing you’re doing your best,” he told me. the nine of blades recognized my anxiety taking its toll on my life. the knight of rods, he sent me, told me it’s ok to not always do better. that sometimes, making one, mundane thing in my life worthwhile is what makes me better. because i’m living.

he sent me the tower card to explain why this message was important. everything feels terrible right now. but i stay present in the moment, if i do what i can, and i know that he is with me, and he knows that i am trying, that’s what matters.

feeling sappy. he knows when i need a strict, no-nonsense figure in my life, and he knows when i need a caring, understanding figure in my life.