Now my fiancée wears those fitness shoes that turn normal walking into more of an intense exercise. She says they’re supposed to give her “fantastic legs, spectacularly lifted buns, and a stronger core.” She’s strolling around thinking she’s getting this amazing workout, but in reality she’s been duped by a clever ad in a women’s magazine and her burning desire for spectacularly lifted buns.
I’m thinking to myself, how much can her buns possibly be lifted, anyway? I enjoy their current height fine already. Are these shoes going to strap her buns into a jetpack and zoom them into the stratosphere? What if her already high-enough buns ended up on her shoulders? That would just be bizarre.