#deangirlisms

do you guys ever think about how john literally groomed sam and dean to be the perfect lucifer vessel and michael sword without ever realising he was doing it. it would make him want to fucking die and yet he does it so perfectly. instils it into sam that he has no autonomy, no control over his life, unconsciously lets him know there is something Wrong about him. instils it into dean that his personhood is in hunting, that that’s how he’s useful and how he can be loved. and none of that’s intentional except maybe sam’s disempowerment. but it still happens.

dean is so silly because he’s both SO codependent and SO unwilling to compromise. literally my way or the highway except there isn’t even a highway like you HAVE to be with me but we also HAVE to do everything my way. okay sam? like even in s1 he needs sam with him hes obsessed with it he can barely let him go but when sam wants to go back to college never for a second does he consider like. going with sam. being crazily codependent on sam while sam goes to college. he couldve still hunted!! had a base in palo atlo!! buffy summers goes to college and hunts im sure sam and dean could’ve managed but nooo