#dayten

She hid it in the drawer under some papers just to not look at it. It reminded her of guilt and shame she was feeling. She sat down on the bed with tears in her eyes. It was wrong, it was all wrong! She should be the one whose bending was taken away. Those soldiers were abducted by equalists and there was no way they could make it out alive.

She jumped when someone opened the door of her apartment.

“Kya?” she frowned and wiped the tears that were dripping down her cheeks. “What are you doing here? I told you I’m fine and none of you need to worry about me.”

“Yeah, you’re fine, I know. And puffy eyes are just an allergic reaction to my stupidity or something,” Kya pretended to yawn.

A moment later her face became more serious and the way she was speaking changed. Her voice was softer, calmer and warmer. She opened her arms waiting for Lin, who acted like she didn’t actually care.

Lin finally shrugged and let Kya embrace her tightly.

“You’re not okay, are you?” she asked but didn’t want to get a response. She knew the truth. “Tenzin told me everything that happened yesterday. Lin, it wasn’t your fault, you did everything you could.”

“But it wasn’t enough to save them.”

She trembled with emotions between Kya’s arms. She calmed down but only a little. Kya always could give her the feeling of safety.

“How will I look them in the eyes after all? Kya they trusted me and I… I…”

She sobbed, she didn’t even try to keep calm. It was too much even for her.

“I’ll stay there for a night, I don’t want you to be alone, especially like this. I’ve heard that they hurt you, is it true?”

Lin didn’t answer, so Kya took that as a “yes”.

“I know it’s hard but you will need to get over the past, do you hear me? You can’t look back, because it's easy to get lost in memories like these. Don’t look back, Lin.”

“You don’t understand, Kya,” Lin looked up at the waterbender.

“I do, Lin. Trust me.”

She held her tighter, she felt Kya’s scent, so soothing at the time.

“Don’t look back, Lin. Don’t let the past get you.”

Lin nodded but Kya knew that this small gesture was just to make her feel better. At least she was safe, Kya thought and kissed her slightly on the forehead.

“Now let me heal this wound of yours,” Kya smoothly changed the topic to distract her a little.

The droid army was directly to the east now, and they quickly and quietly lined up in the dry stalks to meet them.

Anakin keyed Obi-Wan’s code into his comm, and asked, “Obi-Wan, are you in position yet?”

“Not quite. Hold.”

Anakin started grumbling, but Ahsoka nudged him. “Hey, we’ve had to wait around to fight before. And don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll destroy plenty of droids.”

“I’m just nervous. What if Obi-Wan’s discovered?”

Rex let out a quiet laugh. “With all due respect, sir, this is General Kenobi we’re talking about. He’ll get the job done.”

Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, and the troops stayed crouched there for nearly an hour, watching the droids mill about, getting their tanks ready, and setting up cannons.

Kriff, this was taking too long.

Just as Anakin was thinking of leading the charge, with or without Obi-Wan, his comlink beeped. He answered, “Go ahead.”

“Anakin, we’re in position,” Obi-Wan said. “Proceed with the attack.”

“You ready for this, Master?”

“You know me…”

“Check your blasters,” Anakin said to the men. “On my signal.”

The 501st did as he said, and when he waved his hand forward they charged out of the weeds and grasses, and fell upon the droid army.

Anakin and Ahsoka ran ahead, defending troopers from blasts, cutting down droids. Two tanks were approaching, and Anakin signaled for Ahsoka to get the one on the right.

A blast went off as Anakin ran, and it was so near that it threw him through the air. Stunned, trying to get his breath back, ears ringing, he staggered to his feet. There wasn’t time to see if any troopers were injured or fallen. Medics would get to those who needed it when they could.

He ran towards the tank, sensed another blast coming and, using the Force, leapt high into the air, avoiding it. His forward momentum had him land on the tank. In a few quick motions he severed the barrel and destroyed the droids manning it. A glance farther down the field showed that Ahsoka was just finishing doing the same.

Anakin jumped from the tank, landing on a B2 battle droid and knocking it to the ground. He used the momentum to flip and land in a heavily manned ring of droids. Without much thought he set to destroying them, flowing through the lightsaber forms he knew so well.

The battle went on, the droids thinning.

The difficult part was that the droids didn’t retreat. A regular army tended to retreat after twenty percent of casualties, but the droids had no concept of what casualties meant on a bigger scale, and had no concept of retreat (save for the occasional cowardly B1s).

The 501st thankfully didn’t take heavy losses, and eventually, across the scarred and burning ground littered with droid parts and fallen troopers, Anakin met up with Obi-Wan.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Anakin said.

“Don’t be arrogant,” Obi-Wan chided. “There’s still the brigadier general to deal with. And oh, lovely, he’s noticed we destroyed his army.”

Sensing something, but not sure what, Anakin looked up, and saw vulture droids heading their way from the direction of the tower.

“Take cover!” Obi-Wan cried.

Ahsoka repeated the order, “Everyone take cover!” She grabbed Rex and they were rushing to a fallen tank to hide behind it.

Anakin didn’t bother taking cover, even as Obi-Wan and Commander Cody dodged aside. He met the vulture droids head on.

“Master, what are you doing!” Ahsoka cried.

“Don’t worry, Snips. I’ll be fine.”

Anakin dodged blasts from vulture droids, leapt, flipped, and landed on one. The wind whipped at his hair and clothes and tried to make him lose his footing. But he felled the vulture droid, and then went on to the next one.

And the next, and the next.

“Push forward!” Anakin cried, motioning for the 501st to follow him.

“Anakin, no!” Obi-Wan cried.

A blast came from a previously hidden gun turret at the base of the tower and it hit near Anakin. He went flying, the air pushed out of him. When he landed his ears were ringing, and everything hurt. Commander Cody and his men were firing back at droids guarding the turret, and Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin’s arms, dragging him out of range.

The world turned black, and he knew no more.

---

Anakin came to a few minutes later, sheltered by an overturned tank. There was something stabbing him and he wanted to scream, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka held him down. His tunics and tabard and belt had been taken off and Kix had cut into his side. There was a thin tube going up into his body.

Anakin thrashed, sickened, agonized, but he could barely breathe. The tube punctured something, and then he was breathing again, pressure he hadn’t realized was there leaving his chest.

Kix pulled the tube out after a few minutes, and then set to cauterizing the wound.

Anakin lay there groaning. Ahsoka put her robe over him.

“I did tell you to check your arrogance,” Obi-Wan said.

Anakin glared at him, anger pricking like red hot needles in him.

He tried to rise, but Ahsoka and Kix pushed him back down.

“What’s the status?” Anakin asked.

“I sent Cody and a small team of men to sneak around the ridge and take out the cannon. Then we’ll take the tower.”

“We,” Anakin noted. “So I’m still in this.”

“Sir,” Kix began, taking his helmet off, “you should really rest, wait for evac. You’re in no condition—”

Anakin flung Ahsoka’s robe off of himself and then rose, grabbing his clothes to dress himself. Each movement hurt, his whole body aching. His head throbbed.

“I’m fine,” Anakin said.

There was an explosion to the north, the fire visible from where they were, and Anakin smiled despite the pain he was in. “Guess Cody took out the cannon.”

“Cody, come in,” Obi-Wan said into his comlink. “Cody, are you all right?”

There was static, and then Cody answered, “We’re all right, general. The cannon’s been eliminated. Want to come join the party?”

“Love to.” And then to the group of men around them, and Anakin and Ahsoka, Obi-Wan said, “All right, let’s move out.”

They made for the tower.

Many times Ahsoka glanced at Anakin, even asked him if he was all right. His breathing was labored.

In an hour’s time they had arrived at the tower.

They battled the droids there, and found their way to the control room that had a view of the valley and fields below.

More droids were in the room, and they were quickly dealt with.

Brigadier General Nej Vane, a human male, fired at Anakin, blaster in hand. Anakin deflected every shot, and then grabbed the blaster with the Force. He flung it out the window, and smirked at him.

Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and Anakin kept their lightsabers leveled, Rex and Cody guarding the room with a group of their men.

“Care to surrender?” Obi-Wan asked. “We’ve destroyed your army. There’s no one left.”

“Oh, really?”

Before any of them could do anything, Nej Vane pressed a button his comlink, and soon they heard the roar of ships in the air.

“He’s called for reinforcements,” Ahsoka cried.

Bombs fell, the tower itself shaking as fire burst outside.

“What are you doing!” Obi-Wan asked Nej.

“I’m not supposed to let the Republic have this planet. And you won’t.”

Quick as lightning, anger turning his vision red at the troops that could be dying outside, Anakin went forward, and slashed through Nej Vane’s wrist comm. He also happened to slash through his wrist, his severed hand flopping to the floor. The man was screaming, screaming…

And Anakin had had enough of it.

He raised his lightsaber.

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan warned.

Anakin brought the blade down, slashing through his head.

Nej Vane fell dead.

Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan deactivated their blades, but Anakin still stood there with his out, breathing heavy.

“Anakin, we need to call for evac,” Obi-Wan said. “Anakin!”

Anakin deactivated his lightsaber and clipped it on his belt. His voice was low with anger as he said, “No, I’m destroying those bombers.”

Obi-Wan grabbed him. “Don’t be stupid. You’re injured. This fight is done. We have to retreat.”

“Fine, let’s show the Separatists how weak we are then!” Anakin shouted.

“Master?” Ahsoka questioned. “This isn’t like you.”

Anakin shook his head, trying to shake himself out of it. Then the realization of what he’d done hit him and he nearly collapsed. He’d killed an unarmed man, and he was letting his anger fuel him.

“You’re right. I… I shouldn’t have done that.” Suddenly fearful he glanced at Obi-Wan. “What are you going to tell the Council?”

Obi-Wan’s look was hard, even if there was a modicum of love in his eyes. “The truth,” he said.

Anakin swallowed roughly.

He’d broken the code, perhaps in a more fundamental way than not forming attachments. He’d committed a dark act.

Trying for humility, Anakin bowed his head, saying, “I’ll face whatever comes from my mistakes.”

“Good.”

Ahsoka gripped his shoulder reassuringly, even if she seemed a bit hesitant at first.

Though Anakin was trying for humility, he didn’t see the reason for him to be punished. Nej Vane had been a threat, and he’d eliminated him, even if he’d done so in anger. That anger had made him stronger.

Obi-Wan took the lead for the retreat, Admiral Yularen sending reinforcements down to the planet.

Overall, they’d lost eighteen percent of their men, and still, the outer rim sieges would continue.

Anakin knew he should feel sick inside about what he’d done, feel remorse, or guilt, but rather, he felt sick that he hadn’t battled all those bombers, that he wasn’t out there right now, even with pain wracking his body, destroying whole armies, ending the war.

He could do it. He knew he could, but the Council was holding him back.

Not for the first time, Anakin wished he was on the Council, that he was the one making the decisions. The war would end by his hand. Surely it would.