it’s my personal headcanon that for the first few months after el’s death the only person mike is able to talk about it with is max and vice versa.
i’m imagining it begins with an argument, max berating mike about being the person el decided to go to in the end, for not being able to talk her down, for being a shitty boyfriend, projecting all of her guilt onto and taking out all of her anger at el on him, until instead of fighting back mike just goes quiet and agrees.
agrees that anyone else could have convinced her to stay. agrees that she saved his life countless times just to throw it all away. agrees that he hates himself for all of it, just like max does and suddenly, the door is open for both of them.
the argument becomes stilted confessions when it’s mike’s turn to drive max to appointments, a knock on a bedroom door and fake annoyance when mike can’t bring himself to face the world, uncharacteristically soft words when the other starts to fall too deeply into a memory
max has lucas, who is kind and patient and mike has will, who knows the inner workings of his heart but when the time comes for max to be angry at her best friend, who left her all alone, or mike to be frustrated because he was too blind to see the signs, they always find themselves seeking out the other, knowing that they won’t get judgement or pity or endless goodwill, just the assurance that any terrible, guilt ridden, unforgivable thought they’ve had already crossed the other’s mind.
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
