#david rambles

MY fuckin washer machine broke now I have to wait for repair people to come FML

There is a certain class of church members who insist everything be on their terms whenever it comes to discussing LGBT topics or queer people. They do not want to hear our stories or the truths of our lives or the things we’ve learned. 

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They don’t want to hear about suicide, mental health issues, or that church in any way contributes to those feelings. It feels manipulative to them.

However, the statistics are clear that LGBT people experience suicidality at elevated rates, and the more active in church a queer person is, the more likely they’ll experience these feelings.

Yes, other people also experience these feelings, and we are not diminishing their stories. However, these feelings and thoughts are common to the queer LDS experience.

If they can restrict the conversation to not include any negative repercussions from church as experienced by queer individuals, then they don’t have to address why what they believe and teach is harmful in any way. If we can’t point out the fruit of such teachings in the lives of queer people, then only the positive fruit of church in their lives is seen and they can call it all good.  

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Many of these same people like to ask why anyone needs to come out, that they don’t go around pronouncing their gender or sexual orientation. And why in the world would anyone applaud someone who does come out?

While I realize that there are bi/pan/ace/aro people in straight-passing relationships, and that the “visible” aspects of those relationships are not the whole story, straight people do “come out” all the time by the family photo on their desk, and telling us they’re gonna call their wife or they tell us about a date they went on or which celebrity they think is cute. I can’t even number the amount of Sacrament mtgs I sat through where someone talked about how they met their spouse. 

I can’t answer for every queer person in the world, but here’s some reasons we come out:

1)      Affirming myself is a way for me to combat shame or negativity taught about queer people. 

2)      So you can understand where I’m coming from.

3)      It makes it easier for other people to also come out.

4)      It shows we’re not alone. And for younger queer people, it shows that we can have fulfilling lives, that there are positive options for their lives.

5)      Allies and people who support us can find us.

6)      Other people who share the same spaces with us should get used to the idea that queer people are there

7)      As people get to know more of us, it shatters the stereotypes of queer people

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They believe their heterosexual/heteroromantic feelings are God given, as is their gender and how they identify with it. But they do not believe the same is true for queer people.

Science is showing that being queer isn’t a mental defect. These identities have biological basis, just as does being cis and straight.

Why do you get to claim you are “normal” and I’m not? That God approves of you but not of me? I had to go through many years of thinking God doesn’t love or approve of me because of my inborn attractions, something straight people don’t have to experience. The change that came when God said I’m not broken, monumental.

The Lord commands us to love, but they tell me the way I love and connect with others is so wrong that I need to stay alone. I can only love if I love as they do, which is contrary to how God designed me to love

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Any answer to prayer or spiritual experience or any other sort of witness that is contrary to current church teachings is dismissed. It was just your own thoughts and is what you wanted, the Spirit would never contradict the church.

That’s a false statement. The scriptures have people who have things revealed to them before the prophet or top priesthood leader of the time. Typically because it relates to that person’s life.

I am gay, I am attracted to men. Of course I think and pray about this and God responds. We’re each entitled to revelation and direction in our life. I can’t explain why the men in charge of the church don’t get the same message. 

One thing about listening to queer people tell their stories is hearing how the Lord soothed their troubled hearts and the Spirit whispered that God made them this way, they’re meant to live and love like this. It’s always beautiful to hear of how God still dwells amid the marginalized. The Atonement heals broken hearts.

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When they’re asked to be loving or kind, they claim that calling queer people to repentance is loving, telling them they’re sinners is kind.

They see the spec in our eye and fail to see the plank in their own eye.

You know, reading how the Savior interacted with people is really instructive. To the pious people of His day who used religion to exclude others and puff themselves up, the Savior had harsh words and often viewed them as hypocrites.

To the downtrodden, the marginalized, those who were condemned by religious authorities—Jesus spent time with them. Jesus lifted their spirits. He touched those who others said were dirty or diseased. Even if they were called out for sin, they left knowing they were loved and with an increased measure of dignity. Those who are claiming it’s their duty to preach repentance to queer people, do their actions leave us feeling an increase in love and dignity? Or are they the ones who get to walk away feeling smug as they get to see themselves as worthy of God’s blessings, but not “those” people.

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They claim that words like racists, homophobe and transphobe are overused and mean nothing. They refuse to accept that any of those labels might fit the things they’re saying, the attitude they have, or the societal structure that benefits them.

Those are not made up words and have actual meanings. Rather than refute why what they’ve said is bigoted, they dismiss the idea that anything is prejudiced.

They do not like the implications of what those words mean.

People can say what they want, but if they don’t want to be called a racist, then don’t say racist things. To not be accused of being transphobe, then don’t say transphobic things. If you say bigoted things, then expect to have it pointed out.

Generally, people don’t like having their prejudices pointed out to them. Nor do the like the privilege they have in a society pointed out.

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They don’t want to understand our story and history.

They don’t want their prejudices challenged.

They don’t want to work to change society, it’s working just fine for them.

They don’t want to have to acknowledge there are problems.